by K. B. Wagers
“Highness, you should go,” Benedine said.
I touched her shaking hands. “Are you all right?” At her nod I smiled. “Then we’ll do this. Bristols aren’t afraid of a little gunfire and I’ll be damned if I let someone interrupt this for my people.”
Somehow the torch hadn’t gone out when I dropped it, and with Emmory and Zin flanking me, I held it aloft until the crowd quieted from their panic.
“People of Indrana, know this—I will never back down from a challenge. I will never forsake you. Our light will shine through the stars now and forever.” My words echoed through the air. I thrust the torch into the copper basin and the flames roared up.
“Okay, you’ve lit the damn thing. Now move.” Emmory grabbed my arm the second I got the torch back into its holder and practically dragged me to the waiting transport.
“He’s mad at himself, not you, Highness,” Zin murmured after Emmory barked an order at me to “sit the hell down” and strode out of the room snarling for Nal.
“It wasn’t his fault.” I pulled on the tear in my choli, trying to get a look at the shallow furrow in my shoulder.
“Don’t mess with it.” Zin slapped my hand and winced. “Sorry, ma’am. Let the doctor look at it.”
I grinned at him. “You have younger sisters, don’t you?”
“One older and three younger, ma’am. Captain Hafin on the Para Sahi is the eldest. Can I see if your smati will link?”
I nodded. The damn thing had been flickering on and off since I’d been hit. I felt trapped in a black hole, no light or sound, cut off from the world around me with only my pitiful gods-given senses to manage the deluge.
With any luck, Zin might be able to jolt it back up fully and save me from another trip to the plastic coffin at the mod-center. The easiest way to facilitate the process was for me not to think about it.
“How’s Jet?”
“He’s fine,” Zin replied. “Fasé saw to him on the way back to the palace and they’ve got him at the mod-center to get his gear back up and running.”
“Good.” A shudder crawled through me as Zin’s smati tried to make contact with mine. It was like ants running on my skin, and I wondered briefly how people had stood it before this technology was commonplace.
Zin muttered a curse under his breath and frowned. “Why won’t that… There you are. Give me a second, Your Highness.”
I tried not to hold my breath and closed my eyes to the wave of dizziness as my smati came fully back online.
“That’s better. Thanks.”
“You’re clean.” He smiled at me and got to his feet. For some stupid reason it reminded me of Portis and the pain that shot through me had nothing to do with my injury.
I faked a smile—poorly—and ignored Zin’s concerned frown as I tucked my feet up under my skirt and rested my head on the back of the couch.
It was quiet enough in the room that I let myself slip into a doze until Emmory returned with a nervous-looking doctor. I resisted the urge to tease him about being new as he cleaned and bandaged the shallow scrape with shaking hands. The bandage melted into the wound and within moments the stinging pain was gone as the skin fused itself over the cut.
“Thank you.”
“My pleasure, Your Highness.” Zin led the man out, holding the door open for Stasia as they crossed paths.
My maid slid a large tray onto the table in front of me and I shot her a grateful smile when she poured me a mug of blue chai and passed it over.
“You’re a blessing,” I said, holding the steaming mug up to my face. The adrenaline had worn off and now I felt disconnected and as shaky as that young doctor.
“Do you want me to start a bath, Highness?”
As tempting as it was, I shook my head. “No, but if you’ll lay out a change of clothes for me, I’d appreciate it. Don’t go anywhere,” I said to Emmory. “I want to talk to you.”
I reluctantly pushed to my feet with a groan, still holding my chai. “I’m all right.” I waved off Emmory before he could help me up. “That man hits like a professional baller.”
“I believe Jet played in college, Highness. Turned down several pro offers to join the military,” Emmory replied with a straight face.
“I’m not surprised by this at all.” Shaking my head with a laugh, I made my way to my room. Indranan rugby was an odd mishmash of old Earth rugby and cricket—thankfully without the bats the later sport employed back in the SC. It was a way for men to get their aggressions out and also served as a showcase for women to admire the physique of the players. The whole thing made me uneasy, even though I’d enjoyed it when I was younger.
Ten minutes later I was cleaned up and dressed—at my insistence—in black pants and a long-sleeved shirt. Stasia left my hair in the intricate braid but took out the heavy diamond tiara that had miraculously stayed in place throughout all the excitement. I refused her offer of shoes and padded barefoot back into my waiting room.
Emmory backed away from Zin where they’d been in quiet conversation.
“First things first,” I said as I curled back into the corner of the sofa with a new cup of chai. “Jet’s really okay?”
“Yes, Highness.” Emmory didn’t smile, but his reply eased my nerves.
“Good. Did you get an ID on the first shooter?”
“We’ll handle it, Highness.”
“Is that a nice way of telling me to mind my own business?” I smirked at him when he raised an eyebrow. “I realize it hasn’t even been a week, Emmory, but you should realize that it’s not going to happen. This is my business. You know this wasn’t your fault, right?”
“I shouldn’t have let you go.”
I bit my lip to keep from laughing at Zin’s stunned look and busied myself with putting my cup back on the table as I hunted for the right response.
“Sit down, both of you. Come on, it’s awkward to have this conversation with you looming over me and I don’t want to get up.” I pointed at the couch and gave Emmory a look of my own. “Sit. Down.”
Zin moved first and only then did Emmory budge. I was pretty certain if it had been just me and him, we’d have stayed in deadlock for a few days before someone—me, more likely—passed out from thirst.
They dwarfed the delicate, rose-colored couch and I had to press my lips together to hold in my laughter. I leaned back and crossed my arms.
“Not your fault,” I repeated. “You’re going to have to trust me on this one, Emmy. Whoever is behind this isn’t going to quit. They’re going to take shots at me. They’re going to try and kill me. It’s not the first time in my life that’s ever happened. If Portis was sending reports back, you know that already. I’m not going to cower in a cage thinking it will somehow keep me safe. Mother’s sick and I have to step up and take the brunt of the responsibility.”
I leaned forward. “What in the hell was with everyone being so scared of you guys?”
“There were reprisals, Highness,” Emmory replied. “After Pace succumbed to the ebolenza and then again after the explosion. Bial sent Guards into the streets, presumably on the empress’s orders, to find the men responsible. Several people were executed in the main square the day you arrived home.”
“Without a trial? By BodyGuards?” I snapped my mouth shut as my exclamation came out louder than I’d wanted it to. “Emmory, they are not meant to be used as—”
“Executioners?” Zin finished my sentence, his face hard with fury. “The empress used them as such. The news of it was all over the empire. Hundreds of people were rounded up in the weeks following Princess Pace’s death. Princess Cire protested, but your empress-mother refused to listen to reason. We have no idea what happened to them.”
A horrible chill crawled over my skin. I pressed a hand to my mouth, struggling with the now familiar surge of guilt that mixed with my outrage. This was my fault. Because I had been stupid and selfish and—
“If your empress-mother gave such an order, it was because of the dementia, Highness.�
�� Emmory’s reassurance was off the mark, but it helped derail my self-loathing nonetheless.
“Maybe,” I murmured sadly, unable to look him in the eye.
“It’s more likely that Bial or your cousin gave the order. He also knew of our orders to go get you. After Princess Cire was killed, I felt it was best to notify him we were en route to retrieve you. There’s a good chance that he told Ganda.” Emmory shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
“Yet another reason not to trust him. You think that’s why Memz tried to kill me on Sophie? She’d been with me for six years, Emmory.” I wouldn’t have put it past her to sell out to someone, but how did they know where I was?
“I don’t know, Highness. Only a few people knew where you were. Most of them are dead,” Emmory continued. “Which is why the majority of the BodyGuards are not to be trusted, Highness. I am weeding out the ones on your team as fast as I can, but there are some I have no control over.”
“Nal,” I said, just as she came through the door. “Speak of Kroni and she appears,” I muttered under my breath as Emmory and Zin got to their feet.
“Your Highness.” She bowed low without so much as a glance in Emmory’s direction. “Your empress-mother is headed this way.”
“Hailimi!” The shout echoed from the hallway.
14
I was on my feet before Mother got into the room. Blocking the slap would have been easy, but I braced myself and took it. The impact stung, snapping my head to the side.
“Disrupting a sacred ceremony with bloodshed. What the hell were you thinking?”
“I’m fine, Mother.” I rubbed at my cheek. “Thanks for asking, and if you don’t mind me pointing it out I wasn’t the one disrupting anything. Someone tried to kill me. Typical luck for this family lately.” I mentally winced at my snide tone.
“You shot a man, Haili!”
“He was trying to kill me.” My grip on my temper slipped precariously at the condemnation in my mother’s voice. There was no sympathy, no concern. Dementia or no, you’d think she’d be a little worried about me.
Get a grip, Hail. She doesn’t get to pick and choose when she’s lucid.
“The media—” Mother sputtered, waving a hand in the air. “Hailimi, you were caught on camera murdering a man!”
Even Bial winced at that one and surprisingly defended me. “Your Majesty. The princess did not murder—”
“Fine, killed. Whatever,” Mother snapped at him. “We don’t need the reminder that our daughter was a criminal. Which is exactly how those jackals will use this.”
“I’m sorry, was I supposed to let him kill me?” The second slap wasn’t even as hard as the first, but I thought I showed admirable restraint by not hitting her back. I was, however, at the end of my patience. “Mother, I’d suggest not hitting me again.”
“Don’t threaten me, child.” The command and the imperial set of her spine were ruined by the fact that she took an immediate half step away from me.
“It’s not a threat,” I said, keeping my voice even through sheer force of will.
Bial’s hand twitched toward his gun and the tension in the room ratcheted up several notches.
“I told your father we should have hit you more. Shouldn’t have let you play with those hooligans. It’s distressing I have no proper daughters left. I should have formally adopted Ganda as was suggested.”
Now Mother was rambling, starting a slide away from coherence that was becoming familiar, but I raised an eyebrow at the last bit. If we’d been alone, I would have pushed her a little about just who’d suggested she adopt my cousin, but I wasn’t about to grill my mother in front of everyone.
“It’s a little too late for that. I supposed you could join forces with whoever is trying to wipe out our family. Though they’re three and zero with me, I’m not sure I’d put money down on them just yet.”
Bugger me, Hail. Could you stop sounding like a petulant child every time you speak to your mother?
Mother didn’t notice my grimace. She grabbed me by the shoulders and jerked me close. “I am betrayed by those closest to me, my little terror. I’m sorry. You are the only one left,” she whispered.
This wasn’t dementia ravings. The haze of sickness had lifted from her eyes, replaced with a determined desperation blazing within. For a moment I saw the mother I’d worshiped, the one from my childhood who could do no wrong.
Just as quickly, the mother I remembered was gone, replaced by the cold empress I hated. She shoved me away, turning her back on me as if nothing had happened.
Emmory caught me before I tripped over the couch in my shock, his hands squeezing my upper arms lightly before he let me go.
“You have BodyGuards for a reason, Hailimi.” Mother sniffed, gathered up her gray skirts, and marched out of the room without another word.
“Highness, I am sorry.” Bial murmured the genuine apology to me and followed her from the room.
“At least she seems to have forgotten that I wasn’t supposed to leave my rooms.” I rubbed at my face, trying to decide which problem to tackle first. I didn’t want to talk about what had just happened. There were too many ears around, even with Emmory’s surveillance-blocking abilities. “Did they really catch me on camera?”
“I’m afraid so, Highness.”
“Is the response bad?” I bit my lip as I turned to the window. The last thing I needed was bad press. Not that it was worth trading my life to avoid, but Mother was right about one thing in that we couldn’t afford any more bad press for the throne right now.
“Actually most of the major networks are being very sympathetic about it. The spin at the moment is of the ‘thank the gods she’s okay’ variety. The fact that you still lit the flame helped with that,” Zin replied. “We’ll see if that holds.”
“I didn’t do it for the brownie points,” I muttered, swiping both hands over my face.
“Highness.”
The sympathy in Zin’s voice threatened my already tenuous grip on my emotions. “Don’t.” My voice was too sharp, cutting through the air like a laser-blade. “Sorry. I’m sorry. Just give me a minute, okay?”
I turned toward the windows and gripped the sill so hard it was a miracle the wood didn’t splinter. Snap out of it, Hail. You can’t fall apart now. Killing someone wasn’t easy and I saw the man’s sightless eyes when I closed my own.
Zin gave me space. Emmory, unsurprisingly, didn’t. He’d taken me seriously when I said I wanted honesty.
“Let it go, Highness. You were protecting yourself. It’s obvious the empress isn’t herself.”
“I think you’d be surprised how close that was to the arguments we had before I left,” I said. My reflection smiled wryly back at me. “She hit me less then, but that’s about the only difference.”
“With respect, Highness, she might treat you less like a wayward daughter if you stopped giving her the opportunity.”
“I know,” I sighed. “I’m trying, it’s just… She brings out the best in me apparently.” I forced a smile. “It’s not the violence that bothers me, Emmory.” I used our dedicated com on my smati for the first time since this whole thing started. “Did you hear what she said to me?”
Emmory didn’t even blink. “No, Highness. What did she say?”
“Not here. We need to get out of the palace. The ocean would be best.” The roar of the waves and the song of the dolphins would give us the perfect cover for a conversation that had to be private.
“You’re not going out in the open again.”
“I’m not staying trapped in here for the rest of my life, however short it might be.” I didn’t miss the fury that ripped through his face at the suggestion he couldn’t keep me alive, but I wasn’t about to back down. “No one knows I want to go. It’s not like some dolphin will be lying in wait to try and kill me. And we have to talk.”
“Fine,” he said, surprising me with his abrupt agreement. “Zin, tell Jet to come in.”
I turned away from the wind
ow with a frown at my Ekam. “He’s not coming back on duty, is he?”
“He asked if he could speak with you, Highness.”
Jet came into the room, looking weary but healthy, and dropped to a knee in front of me. “Highness.”
“Fasé took care of you. Did they get you hooked back in?” I smiled, shoving aside my worry.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I think we can spare you for the day, Jet. Get up, man. Get some rest. We’ll see you tomorrow.”
He looked up at me in surprise. “Ma’am?”
“Was I not speaking Indranan?”
“Your Highness, I’ve come to give you my resignation.”
“Excuse me?”
“I failed you.” Jet dropped his eyes to the floor. “Your blood was spilled. It’s unforgivable.”
I whirled on Emmory. “Did you tell him he had to do this?”
He looked just as startled as I was. That wasn’t good.
“No, Highness. I don’t think—”
I waved a hand, cutting Emmory off, and turned away, casing the room as I did. Zin and Cas had the same looks of poorly concealed shock as the rest of us, but there was a smug look in Nal’s eyes that I didn’t like at all.
My brain raced through my options at lightning speed. If Jet had been on my crew, I would have bought him a drink and given him my share of the profits from the job. I learned early on from Po-Sin that fear was a great motivator but that it didn’t inspire much loyalty. That came from praise and tangible rewards.
Rewards happened in front of the rest of the crew. Ass chewings were private affairs. I nudged Jet with a bare foot. “Get your ass up.”
“Highness?”
“You heard me, get your ass up.” I let him get to his feet and then grabbed his face with both hands. “Ojayit Uli Gaiden, I realize you hit your head today; however, I doubt very much it scrambled your brains enough to make you believe I would let you walk out of here in disgrace. You saved my life.” I shook him, the bracelets Stasia had forced on me in a desperate attempt to break up my severe outfit jingling with the movement; then I released him with a smile. “I would be a fool to let you go. I thank you for it and I owe you for it.”
