I’m not sure what to say to all this. And I’m more than a little stunned that he’s shared such private information with me. And again, I can’t help but wonder why. “Sam’s told me that her relationship with your mom has always been difficult,” I say quietly.
“That’s an understatement,” he laughs.
“Why are you telling me all this?” I ask finally.
“I just didn’t want you to think that her bad attitude this weekend was solely about you,” he shrugs. “Because you personally, actually have very little to do with it. Mom would have reacted the same way if Samantha had brought home a diamond broker from Tiffany’s. ‘Oh, my God, he works retail!’” He mimics her voice with a roll of his eyes and I can’t help but smile and he laughs.
“I appreciate your candor, Lucas,” I tell him honestly. “But seriously,” I shrug, at a loss for words. Then I take a deep breath and push on. “I guess, what I’m really asking here is … why don’t you share your mom’s low opinion of me?”
I think my question takes him by surprise. He raises his eyebrows at me and then chuckles. “Well, for starters, I like the fact that you don’t pull any punches,” he says, smiling at me.
“Sorry,” I smile.
“Don’t be,” he says, still chuckling slightly. Then he looks me in the eye. “I like you, Josh. I find you intelligent, levelheaded, hardworking, and devoted. Both to your chosen profession and to my sister.”
His words take me by surprise and I stare at him in disbelief.
“Oh, did you think I wouldn’t notice?” he says with a smile. “It’s quite obvious how you feel about her. It’s nice to see. And I agree with Martin’s assessment of you.”
“Martin’s assessment?”
He nods slowly, looking me in the eye. “Martin’s been with me a long, long time; and with my dad before that. I trust him implicitly. When I had him check you out I also asked for his personal opinion of you. He said he felt you were dedicated to law enforcement and that you couldn’t be bought. He said he believes you’re completely in love with my sister, and that there was no doubt in his mind that you would take a bullet for her, or step in front of a bus if it meant keeping Pita safe. He also said he believes you don’t give a damn about her money. And I think he’s right.”
I’m shocked at his words and I know that I must be wearing a stunned expression because he chuckles slightly as he watches me closely.
“I don’t … I don’t know what to say. I thought…,” My voice trails off as I search for the words.
“Thought what? That I wouldn’t approve because you’re a cop or because you’re not on the Forbes 400 list of wealthiest Americans?”
I raise my eyebrows in response, and I try to open my mouth to say something but, I think I’m still in shock. I settle instead for a bewildered nod.
“Well you thought wrong,” he smiles. “And I believe our dad would approve too.” Then he grows serious once more. “When he was close to the end, he uh … he made me promise to always look after her the way he would have. He had seen to her financial security so, the most important thing, he said, was to make sure that she was always safe and happy and loved.”
He stares off into space for a moment and I know that he’s reliving a memory. When he speaks again, his voice is far away and full of emotion. “Don’t try to run her life the way your mother will. Let her make her own choices and her own mistakes. Just be there for her whenever she needs you. Especially when she thinks she doesn’t need you at all. But most of all, son … just make sure she’s safe and happy and loved.” He shakes his head slightly and takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “God, I miss that man,” he says quietly, almost to himself.
I stare at him silently, and for the first time since I met him, I am completely envious of Lucas Colby. Not because he’s one of the principle heads of a multi-billion dollar corporation or because he doesn’t have a financial care in the world. But because he had a loving father/son relationship with an amazing man who cared about him and nurtured him and taught him how to be a real man. The heartbroken glint in his eyes is too much for me to bear and I have to look away.
We are quiet for a few moments, and then suddenly we hear the girls coming back, chattering away about dresses or something. Samantha gives me a puzzled look as she sits down next to me and I know she’s wondering why we both look so sullen. She looks from me to her brother and I can tell she’s thinking we just had words or something.
“Everything okay?” she asks timidly, still eyeing us both, and I smile at her.
“Everything’s fine, baby,” I say, wrapping my arm around her and pulling her to me.
“Yeah, I was just comforting Josh. He got a little emotional at the thought that the Cardinals might actually win this one,” Lucas says with a grave expression and a shrug.
“Well, I am a sensitive guy,” I joke, playing along. “But thanks for holding me, man.”
“No problem,” he laughs, and Sam smiles, rolling her eyes at us. Then she snuggles up next to me and kisses my cheek.
“Told you you’d be best friends,” she whispers to me and I chuckle at her, squeezing her to me as I kiss her forehead.
We watch the rest of the game then, and we are all elated when the Seahawks manage to maintain their slim lead and even run another touchdown for the win. And with the huge window open, the roar of the crowd is fantastic! It’s been a good game and Sam and I have had fun. It’s even been nice getting to know her brother some, and I am hugely relieved after the talk we had. Even though he didn’t come right out and say it, I’m pretty certain that he does know about my past but, somehow … it doesn’t seem to matter to him. He approves of Sam’s decision to be with me.
“So, you two have any plans for the rest of the day?” Lucas asks as we’re standing to leave.
“We’re actually headed to my Mom’s now for dinner with my family,” I tell him.
“Oh, special occasion?”
“No, it’s just a standing engagement every Sunday,” I answer, taking Samantha by the hand.
“Huh, that’s nice. Well, listen, you’ve got a standing invitation here too,” he smiles at me. “Every home game. You’re always welcome, even if Pita’s not with you, all right? Usually Uncle Ken and Dennis are here too, and I’m sure Scott will be joining us a lot from now on. But feel free to bring a friend, you know? Bring your partner sometime. We’d love to have him.”
“Uh … wow, thanks.” I’m a little floored by his generosity but, he does seem sincere. “That’s nice of you to offer.”
“Well, I mean it,” he says as we shake.
We say our goodbyes then and Sam and I leave the stadium, exiting through the same private entrance and making it out to the car in record time, avoiding most of the crowd. I open the door for her and then slide behind the wheel of her Maserati feeling as if I’ve somehow slipped into an alternate universe or something. Fancy cars, private box seats at the stadium, caviar, champagne and mansions. Not to mention arguments, threats, tears and the truth about my old man’s death. It’s been a hell of a weekend, and it’s not quite over yet.
“Did you have a good time?” Sam asks quietly as I drive. When I glance over at her, she is watching me closely and I smile at her.
“Yes, baby. I had a very nice time. And I enjoyed talking to Lucas,” I say, taking her hand in mine.
“Good! I’m glad,” she smiles, and I bring her hand to my lips and kiss her knuckles. As I do, my mind thinks back on that private suite and I wonder about something.
“Hey? Have you ever been to a game and sat in the stands?”
She looks at me with a questioning frown. “No. We’ve owned that suite since the stadium was built ten years ago. I was a little girl the first time Dad took me there. Why do you ask?”
I shrug my shoulders at her. “I don’t know. Lucas and I were talking about the suite and how different it is from actually sitting with the crowd. Don’t get me wrong, the suite’s nice; I like it. But there�
�s something fun about actually sitting in the stands too. Tailgating before the game starts. You should try that sometime,” I say looking over at her, and she smiles at me. “We’ll go tailgating with Conner and Lindy or Lee and Molly sometime.”
“We will?” she asks with an excited smile.
“Yeah, we will,” I chuckle at her.
“Okay,” she says excitedly, the biggest smile in the world plastered on her face.
I continue to hold her hand as I drive and she looks out the window, and we’re quiet for a while. Then, out of the blue, she softly asks, “Josh, what did my mother say that upset you the other night? When we were arguing, you said that she claimed to know all about it.” I say nothing, and my thumb, which has been running softly over the knuckles of her hand, stops for a moment. I take a deep breath and sigh heavily as I let go of her hand, and Sam turns to look at me. “She threatened you somehow. Didn’t she?”
I hesitate a beat before I answer. I meant what I told her last night. I don’t want to be the source of contention between her and Lois. But I also don’t want to lie to Sam anymore. “She threatened to tell you what she knew unless I walked away from you,” I say quietly. “She said she would make it public and ugly so that I would lose my job in the process.”
Sam is silent for several seconds and when I look over at her, I can see that she is caught somewhere between anger and disgust. She looks close to tears.
“Hey,” I say softly, taking her hand once more, “Sam, don’t worry about it. It’s over now; she can’t do anything to hurt me. Not now that you know the truth and you still believe in me. She can’t hurt us, baby.”
“No. She can’t,” she whispers tearfully. “She can’t hurt us. But she can still hurt you. She threatened your job, Josh!”
“You let me worry about that, all right?”
“No,” Sam says forcefully. “I can’t let her get away with that! You have worked so hard to build your career. I will not let her ruin that for you!”
“Sam…”
“No! But I am sorry, Josh. I’m sorry that she’s such a bitch!”
“Hey,” I whisper again, squeezing her hand lightly as we stop at a red light. “Don’t do that, Sam. Look, I know you’re angry at her. Believe me, so am I, and I don’t trust her one bit. But she loves you, Sam.”
“How can you say that?” Sam asks, looking at me like I’ve lost my mind.
“Because, baby,” I say as the light turns green and we get underway again, “you didn’t hear the way she spoke to me that night. I think she honestly believes she’s protecting you from me.”
“No she doesn’t,” Sam laughs bitterly. “She’s trying to run my life, like always, and I am not going to let her keep doing this to me. To us!”
“Sam,” I say, trying to calm her down, “listen to me. Don’t start a war with your mother, baby. What good is that going to do?”
“It will show her that I’ve finally had enough of her trying to control me, Josh!” She sounds so determined, and I can easily see that her mind is made up. I know that there’s nothing I can say to keep her from eventually confronting her mother. And maybe, I shouldn’t. Maybe this is just something that Sam needs to do.
We’re quiet on the rest of the ride over to my Mom’s and I know that Sam is still seething about her own mother. I pull her car into the driveway and park it. Then I turn to look at her, reaching out to caress her face.
“Baby, try to let it go, okay? At least for the rest of the day,” I say softly. “Let’s just go inside and have a nice dinner with my family, all right?”
She nods at me and gives me a small smile. “Okay,” she whispers, and I lean in and kiss her tenderly.
As I’m helping her out of the car, I notice that both Paul Jr. and Phillip are already here, as I expected since we had the stadium traffic to contend with. I take Sam’s hand and lead her toward the house. And I smile to myself at the memory of the last time we came here and how nervous she was about what to wear.
I open the front door and enter, without ringing the bell, and we are greeted warmly by the men in my family, who are all sitting in the living room watching football.
“Hey, you two,” Paul Jr. says, “Aunt Liv said you were at that game today. Did you see that pass Wilson made in the fourth quarter? Man, that was crazy!”
“Yeah, it was something,” I smile at him as I venture over to shake Uncle Paul’s hand. “How you doing, Uncle Paulie?” He smiles at me and waves to Samantha. We stand and talk football for a few minutes before heading into the kitchen and, when we do, I see my Mom’s eyes light up when we walk through the door.
“There you two are! How was the game?” she asks, rushing over and kissing us both on the cheek.
“The game was great. And the wings were really good too, but I’m ready for some ravioli,” I answer and she smiles.
“Well then, you’ve come to the right place! We’ll be ready to eat in just a few minutes.”
She asks us all about our weekend then, knowing that we had all the wedding festivities going on. So, as she and Aunt Celeste put the finishing touches on dinner, Sam gushes about the wedding and how beautiful it was, and Pam asks all about the dresses and the flowers. Honestly, what is it with girls and weddings? I really don’t get that one. But as Sam talks about it, they all look so wistful and dreamy. I just smile and shake my head, wrapping my arms around Samantha as I stand behind her and hold her close to me. She caresses my arms absentmindedly as they talk and I relish the feeling of her body against mine.
“So what did they serve at the reception?” Mom asks, and as Sam answers her question, I notice Mom watching us closely. She seems to study our body language and it makes me slightly self-conscious but, not enough to make me want to let go. Nothing could make me want to let go. This feels too good.
We stand this way for another fifteen minutes or so as Samantha and Pam talk about the baby while Mom throws together a huge garden salad and Aunt Celeste takes the homemade bread sticks out of the oven. Dinner smells delicious. When everything’s ready, we all head into the dining room and, over a plate of the best cheese ravioli with meat sauce in the world, we enjoy nice conversation and lots of laughter.
All through dinner though, I catch Mom eyeing me. She’s acting weirder than usual and it makes me uneasy. But whenever I try to give her a questioning frown, she turns away as if she’s embarrassed or something. I try to shrug it off and ignore her and just enjoy dinner. And I get some help in the distraction department when I suddenly feel Samantha’s leg deliberately touch mine.
I glance over at her as Phillip is in the middle of a story, and she is smiling sweetly as she takes a sip of her wine. She sets her glass back down and looks at me, and then she discretely tucks her leg under mine and I suddenly wish we were alone. I return her smile then and adjust my leg as I turn back to Phillip. We spend the rest of dinner this way, with our legs intertwined beneath the table as we finish our meal, and the innocent contact seems so intimate somehow, and so comforting. It’s as if we need to feel connected to one another today. As if she doesn’t want to let go any more than I do.
When we’re finished with dinner we all help clear the table, and back in the kitchen I wrap my arm around Sam’s waist and hold her close to me as we stand around talking, and I glimpse Mom’s watchful eye once again. I sigh as she again tries to act like she’s not watching us. What is going on? Everyone heads out to the living room then, and Sam and I move to accompany them when Pam suddenly asks if she’d help her with the baby for a second.
“Oh … sure,” Sam answers, leaving my side to hold the baby while Pam roots through the diaper bag. And then, annoyingly, they wander off to the spare bedroom and I frown slightly.
“You and Samantha certainly seem joined at the hip today.” Mom’s voice is cautious and I look up to discover we’re finally alone. Time to find out what’s going on with her. “You two look inseparable.”
I frown again as I think about her words. Is that what this i
s about? “Yeah. I guess you could say we’ve gotten closer,” I explain quietly.
“You looked like you didn’t want to let her go just now.”
“I didn’t,” I answer truthfully. She studies my face for a long moment and then she smiles at me.
“You really are in love with her, aren’t you, Josh?”
Her question makes me nervous and I don’t know why. I’ve already admitted to Samantha how I feel about her. Hell, I’ve even said the words to her twice now! But for some reason, admitting it to my mother is … not easy. I swallow anxiously and nod my head slightly, and Mom’s smile gets bigger.
“I told her … about what happened,” I mumble quietly, looking down at the floor. She is silent, and when I look up, her smile is gone and I’m met with her pale, stunned look.
“You did?”
I nod again.
“Ha … how … um. How did she take it?”
“A hell of a lot better than I expected her to,” I answer honestly, and I can hear the astonishment in my own voice. “She was amazing, Mom. She understood.”
“That’s wonderful, honey.” I can tell by Mom’s voice that she’s close to tears and she turns toward the sink, avoiding my gaze.
“Mom, I didn’t mean to upset you,” I say, feeling like an ass.
“No, it’s all right,” she says wiping her eyes as she faces me once more. “It’s just…,” She hesitates as she looks at me with sorrow filled eyes. “I will never forgive myself for what I put you through, Josh.”
At her words, I feel instantly agitated. “Mom, you didn’t put me through anything, all right?”
“Oh, we both know that’s just not true, honey,” she says as fresh tears fall. “I loved your father so much! He was like my weakness, you know? My drug. But that’s no excuse. I made you suffer because I was too weak to leave! I should have taken you and ran; I should have put you first! I wasn’t a very good mother to you back then,” she says softly.
Pierced: Pierced Trilogy Boxed Set Page 68
