by Snow, Nicole
“Count me an 'aye,' right now, Prez,” I said, holding my knife.
“Yeah, yeah, I can tell you're happy. You ain't doing that bullshit with your blade going in the wood.” Prez grinned, looking me up and down with his cold gray eyes. No, they were surprisingly warm today, like he'd just gotten a gold medal around his neck for fuckin' the choicest pussy ten states over.
Shit, for all I knew, he had.
Hannah didn't appeal to me – never wanted a damned thing to do with rich bitches – but he'd taken enough of a shine to her body to fuck her more than once.
Firefly glared, the shit between the Prez and his sis weighing on his mind. Dust turned to him just then, ignoring his snake eyes, taking a long pull on his pipe.
“Firely, how soon can we be ready?” Prez growled, stopping just short of rubbing his hands together in anticipation. “Blackjack said he can get some men out here by next week. They'll be ready as soon as they're in, itching for action after the cartel wars ended out west. I want everything square in five days. Earlier, if we can swing it.”
“Five days,” he repeated, staring at the Prez like a spider he wanted to stomp. “Doesn't leave much time to train any of the brothers on the heavier shit. We've been getting more of it in and our range ain't great for this stuff.”
“Fuck the big guns,” Dust growled. “We'll have manpower on our side. The Grizzlies are bringing a few of their newer toys, too. It'll balance out.”
“Before we do this, there's something else,” I said, sitting up in my chair. “That girl, Summer, who some of you boys saw the other day. She's got news on the Deads...”
I went through all the facts then. Told them about how they'd trashed Seddon, how Hatch wanted to use her as a mole to pry shit outta the club through me. I told them about my kid last, how I was sure he was mine, and I'd do everything I could to make up for lost time, keeping them both safe.
She'd come clean to me.
So had I, and none of this shit bothered me.
Yeah. Yeah, fucking right.
“Jesus Christ, bro. I mean, fuck, everybody knew you had secrets, but...shit.” Sixty grinned, chomping on his smoke. “We've got your back. You and your new family.”
His last words didn't do much to settle me down. I waited for more shit, pivoting my switchblade in my hands, feeling the sharp reflection of the sunlight coming through the old blinds peeling off it. Straight into my eyes.
“Goddamn. I'd hoped to get the fuckin' jump on those bastards,” Dust said, twisting his pipe thoughtfully between his fingers. “Looks like they're gearing up to do it first. They can smell us fuckin' coming.”
“Better not be a damned rat,” Firefly growled, his rage shifting to something else.
My guts sank. Fuck, it didn't seem likely, but we'd only brought on the three new prospects last week, men who'd been there as hangarounds for months.
“Nah,” Dust said, dismissing it with a wave of the hand. “Hatch is a brutal, sick motherfucker. He ain't stupid. He knows we're getting stronger, pulling in legit money from the strip clubs and the chop shops, buying more guns. Fucker's probably been busy moving in on the Torches' old territory for months, and he's gotta know we wiped 'em out. Nobody else would've planted Deadhands' cuts in the wreckage for the cops after we torched that place.”
No, nobody else would've been so stupid and ballsy. That idea had been mine, just a couple months ago, when we saved Firefly's old lady down in Atlanta, and finished off our friends-turned-enemies. The Torches MC was dead, and we'd framed the Deads for doing it.
Too fuckin' bad the bastards hadn't taken much heat.
“Motherfuckers must be handing out bribes left and right,” Skin said, like he'd read my mind. “Fuckin' FBI should've given them something to shit bricks over for months. They're not doing that.”
“More reason to hit them hard, soon as we gas up our bikes and get our new troops,” I said, thumbing the edge of my knife.
“Joker's right. The roadblocks we tried to put up while we got our shit together just went down. They're coming, unless we knock them on their asses first. No more fuckin' around, boys. This is all out war.”
Dust looked at me when he said it, as if he finally understood me. This wasn't just about avenging Piece anymore.
This was about saving myself from losing my last shred of sanity.
Nobody was coming for Summer. They damned sure weren't coming for Alex. I wouldn't let any of the sick, evil poison from the club's fights savage my family.
Maybe I hadn't figured out what the fuck family even meant. Right now, it didn't matter, I'd have all the time in the world as long as I decapitated the bastards who'd picked at Taylor blood like vultures.
“We can't be fuckin' fools about it, Veep. It's gonna take planning. Maybe seven or eight days instead of six. Give me the time I need to do the job right,” Firefly said, still giving Prez the stink eye.
“Orders are orders,” Dust said coldly. “I've given you a time line. You make it happen, Firefly.”
The big Enforcer clenched his jaw, his biceps bulging as he pushed his fists together. My eyes bounced over every brother, waiting for the whole fuckin' room to go up like a rocket factory on fire.
“Listen, you've all got the big picture. We'll iron out the details later. It's time to vote.” Dust brought the gavel down, moving this shit along. He looked at me first.
“Aye,” I said slowly.
Aye for Summer, for Alex, for my own future, however rough or fucked up the going got. Yes to death, to avenging Freddy and Grandpa, to burying the past once and for all so I could focus on the family I hadn't known I had 'til yesterday.
Prez moved down the line. Everybody voted, except for the three prospects who hadn't earned those rights yet. We'd all be checking up on them later, making absolutely sure they weren't putting a fuckin' dagger in our backs, feeding intel to the Deads.
“Unanimous.” Dust's gavel came down harder, and he blew a long chain of smoke through his lips. “Unless anybody else has anything, we're done here.”
He waited a minute. The gavel slapped the wood one more time, freeing brothers to get up, mill around, and go for their coffee. More than a couple guys would be taking something stronger in their black brew after this.
“Veep, hold up,” Dust said calmly, grabbing the back of my chair.
I waited 'til all the boys cleared out, Firefly going last, eyeballing both of us like a wolf waiting for its chance to strike. Well, fuck him, too.
“What's eating his ass?” Dust growled, soon as he was outta the room.
“You and his sis,” I said. “That fuckin' drama ain't my business. I've got plenty to worry about, so you'd better hash it out with Firefly privately. We gotta have every man behind our backs.”
“Yeah, I figured. I'm more worried about you.”
My eyebrows went up. “Don't bother. You think I can't handle this fuckin' girl and my own son?”
“I think you will, long as you keep a lid on your shit and make it home alive, after we're done with these devils in Georgia. You've swept through enough blood to know how it always goes down. One mistake,” he growled. “That's all it takes to put a bullet in a brother's brain, or get a blade in his spine, putting him off of anything except sucking shit through straws 'til he's gone. You can't let this shit get to you 'til the job's done.”
“You're bullshitting me, Prez,” I said, standing up, my blade in my hand.
“No,” he said quietly. “I ain't. You're the one standing there with that nervous fuckin' tick in your trigger finger.”
I looked down in horror. My knife was trembling again, incrementally, like something crawled up my wrist and gave me the shakes.
“Fuck!” It clattered to the floor, and I crouched down and picked it up, tucking it back into my belt.
“Yeah, boy. That's you coming back, after losing Piece put you in a fuckin' coma all these years.” Dust blew out the last embers in his pipe, before stuffing it into his pocket. “Whatever you'r
e going through, it ain't gonna be easy. But I need you to listen, and listen fuckin' good – the club comes first. Your little family's already a part of it, whether you claim this chick or not. If you think you're less than a hundred percent before we're supposed to ride south, come to me, Joker. We'll fix it together like brothers do.”
“I'm solid, Prez. Same as always before a battle.”
Goddamn, why did I deny it? Why'd I fuckin' lie? I didn't even believe it myself, soon as the words were outta my mouth.
“Fuck you, don't lie to me.” He stood up, stepped forward, and slammed both his thick, calloused hands on my shoulders. Those crazy eyes in his head had seen plenty of shit, just like mine, and they always read every brothers' minds, including mine.
Didn't have a prayer of hiding shit. “Let go, Prez. I'm done lying.”
“Yeah, you are. 'Cause if you're still this fucked up in another week, I'll see it, clear as the summer sun dying behind the Smokies. And if I do, you ain't going anywhere. You're staying behind with the prospects to guard the clubhouse, and the rest of us'll bring you the cuts from the shitstains who killed Piece.”
Tore myself away from him, hard as I could. My guts were on fire, like I'd been chugging snake venom, full of piss and hate and betrayal.
I was gone before he dismissed me. Hell, I had to be, otherwise I would've spun around and clocked the Prez right in his fucking face, shattering his jaw.
Then he would've had plenty reason to fuck me up.
I couldn't let that happen. Couldn't get unhinged. Couldn't come undone when everything I'd been working for these last three fuckin' years was finally on the horizon.
The brothers were out in the bar, everybody except Firefly, Meg hanging on Skin's shoulder. They all went quiet when they saw me coming, and I didn't last long.
Just reached straight through Crawl and Sixty, grabbing a fresh bottle of Jack off the counter, and tore away the lid. I must've poured ten shots of that shit down my throat, dousing myself in sweet Tennessee fire before Skin wrestled the bottle away from me.
“What the fuck's gotten into you?!” he roared, startling Meg. “Whole fucking club's going to shit when we need every man firing on all cylinders, and you're boozing like the assholes are gonna ban it tomorrow! Goddammit, Veep. Sober the fuck up.”
Snarling, I walked away, heading for the little spot where I'd left my girl, my kid, my dog.
No, not your fuckin' girl, I thought. She's nothing but your bitch 'til you make her something else.
Something besides a lying whore, good for sucking your cock, and not a whole lot else.
Pain stabbed through my chest. I'd been a fuckin' devil last night, hate fucking her mouth, all I could do to show her how pissed I was for hiding Alex all these years.
I hadn't had a blowjob that good for – fuck, three years? If I wanted to man up and admit it, yeah, it was the stone cold truth.
There'd been fire in her kiss. Lightning in her lips when she dropped to her knees, put my big, mean dick in her little hands, and sucked me 'til I flooded her mouth.
I'd wanted her cunt too. Shit, some sick, twisted part of me was dead serious when I'd threatened her, wanted to pump another kid in her, breed her sweet fuckin' ass so I'd know my next kid from day zero.
I hated her.
Only, I fuckin' didn't when I stepped out the back door and saw her. She looked at me with those bright green eyes, wide and restless as the first time I'd made them roll back in her head. Then she had the dark hair I fisted, softer than it had any right to be, its silky feel calling my cock to life.
“Well? Are we done here?” she asked, holding my sleeping kid. Bingo laid at her feet, offering the illusion I had a real, happy family for a split second.
Whatever the hell it looked like, I knew better.
“Yeah, we are,” I told her, reaching into my pocket for my keys. “Take this shit and drive my truck home. I'll stuff myself in next to Bingo.”
“Huh?” she said, looking at the mess of keys hanging in her hand. Her nose wrinkled up a second later, probably a sign she could smell the whiskey on my breathe. “Jesus Christ, Joker, are you drunk?”
“Not yet. Got about three more minutes before it really fucks me up.”
“I can't believe this,” she said, shaking her head. Didn't stop her from standing up, tucking Alex's head against her shoulder, and walking out.
“Come on, boy,” I reattached Bingo's leash and led him out with us, walking behind her.
Thank fuck he listened like a champ, jumping up on the passenger seat when I patted it. I squeezed into the back, feeling the big dog's breath hitting me in the face.
“I've never driven a vehicle like this before,” she said, strapping Alex into his kiddie seat, new frustration in her eyes.
“You'll manage. There ain't nothing to it. You know how to get back to my place, right?” I pulled out my phone, tapped a few keys, and passed it to her. “Use the GPS. It'll have us home in no time.”
She started her up as I slumped down in my seat, next to the dog. Woman drove like a fuckin' grandma the whole way, leaving me plenty of time to watch the wide blue summer sky spinning through the window.
Maybe half that inertia came from inside me, the booze and raw feeling screwing up my guts.
The other half...fuck, Prez was right. Not that I'd ever admit it to his face.
This had to be the last goddamned day I ever let myself go off the rails, processing all this shit. I had about forty-eight hours to sober up, get my head straight, and prepare for war.
* * *
Back at the apartment, I crashed on the couch, sleeping off my imminent hangover.
There wasn't any worry about work today. The club wouldn't be taking many cars or bikes in the shops, handing over the ones we got to the hangarounds who knew about auto shit.
Most of my dollars came from the club's shared profits every brother got a piece of. I'd been saving for a down payment on a cabin or a house forever.
Money wasn't the worry. Un-fucking my head, on the other hand...
Slept like the fuckin' dead. My brain must've needed it after short-circuiting, full of whiskey, hate, confusion.
When I woke up, Bingo was rubbing his muzzle on my hand, draped over the side. “Shit,” I swore, sitting up, scratching his head.
A spicy, garlicky pizza's smell hung thick in the air. I let my eyes focus, toward the little table next to the kitchen, where Summer had Alex in a new booster seat. One that couldn't have shown up here unless she'd gone out to get it.
I sprang up, ignoring the last pain banging at my temples. Fuck. She hadn't fuckin' listened.
“Thought you'd sleep through the night,” she said, spooning some applesauce into Alex's mouth.
I pulled out a chair and sat down, resisting the urge to stuff pizza into my hungry, dry mouth. “Babe, you go out again alone while you're under my protection, and we've got a big goddamned problem. You hear me?”
“No, I don't, Jackson. Didn't know what to do either, when I needed things for our son and you were...well, out of commission.”
Fuck her smart mouth. But fuck me for having no argument against it, because I'd been laid up, all thanks to my own stupid, impulsive ass.
“Won't happen again. Not after today.”
“Mm-hmm.” She batted her long lashes skeptically and smiled at the kid, blotting at his mouth. “It's nothing new, Jackson. Really. It's just been Alex and me for the last three years. Alone.”
“You weren't stalked by fuckers who'd slit your throat at the first fuckin' chance,” I growled, stopping myself at the last second from slamming my fist on the table. Didn't want to startle my son. “Put him down for a nap. We need to talk. Looks like there's some shit I've still gotta drill into your head, Summertime, because right now you're pretty damned clueless.”
Bingo perked up in the corner, laying his ears flat against his head. Damned dog had a sixth sense for bad voodoo in the air.
“He usually doesn't lay down f
or another hour. I still have to give him a bath.” She looked at me defiantly, her pupils expanding in the deep, green seas around them. “But since I got him a new play pen while I was out, I'll listen. Put him down early, just this once.”
Without another word, she rose, walking into the bedroom. I heard her humming softly to the kid before she shut the door gently behind her, and walked back out with her arms folded.
“Seriously, Joker, why do you have to be such an ass?”
I wanted to lay the fuck into her. Shut her up with my lips on hers, press her so hard into the fuckin' wall I put a Summer-shaped silhouette through the damned drywall.
“Same reason you're wandering around, pretending like you ain't fucked when the Deads come around. Christ, Summer, even if you don't give a shit about getting yourself killed – you won't drag my kid into it!”
I stepped up, grabbed her, let her twist around in my arms 'til our faces were only inches apart. “Let me go!”
“Not 'til you shut up and listen. I'm trying to do right by you. I fucked up bad this morning, swigging all that booze. I'm man enough to admit it, and it's time to move the fuck on.”
“You're a fucking idiot,” she spat, slowly surrendering.
She knew I was too strong, and my grip told her I wouldn't let go. Not 'til I was good and ready.
“You think this shit's a game, don't you?” I growled, fighting to keep my eyes off her evil little lips.
“Jesus, no. I don't think that. Believe me, I know how much danger we're in, ever since that fucking asshole kicked down the door to the place I'll never see again, and forced me to deal with you again. If it wasn't for the monsters, I'd have made certain you never got your hands on me or Alex!”
