by Snow, Nicole
I'd saved him from swallowing the crap in the bottle and poisoned myself. I hadn't meant to, but as I slumped into the comfortable silk sheets, I wondered if I deserved it.
Everything feels like a distant dream when you're coming off a serious fever. But right now, the only thing I had to reach and hold onto was this weird and wonderful thing I'd built with Anton. I smiled when I thought about it, marveled at how it must've been unbreakable.
Somehow, I survived. We survived.
I couldn't understand it. Nothing made any sense, but my brain didn't lie. He hadn't squandered a second when he realized what was happening with the poison. Anton rushed me to the bathroom, kept me from dying until the doctor came.
It was more than lust, more than using me as a tool. I saw his love, his kindness. I felt his truth every time I took a new breath.
We'd both made mistakes. Our hearts were cruel, and they needed to be to survive the savagery constantly hammering away all around us.
Anton almost killed me by tearing out my heart with his betrayal, plus a little help from my twisted uncle. I'd tried to murder him for it, and I'd nearly died when I realized my mistake and my regret.
Sure, the poison was responsible for almost sending me into an early grave. But really, it was grief, brutal regret that I'd nearly destroyed the man I loved over a battered heart and a lie.
I still wanted to throw myself at him, tell him how sorry I was.
That didn't compare to the need I had for his lips, his embrace. I'd let him suck the last poison from my heart with every fiery kiss. Gioulio's toxin had faded and gone. Soon, I knew the rest of the venom he'd injected into my brain my entire adult life would go with it.
Anton. I needed to see him. I struggled to sit up, throw my feet over the bed to the cool floor.
I smiled when I was able to stand. Back when I was collapsing in his arms, puking out the poison while he held me, I never thought I'd stand and breathe again.
A window was cracked, letting in the cool autumn air. It was either dusk or just before dawn, judging by the little blue splash on the horizon. I didn't have a clue without something to tell the time.
I staggered to the bathroom and washed my face. The cool, refreshing water helped bring me back to life, made me halfway human again.
I was about to come out when the bedroom door burst open. Something heavy hit the floor, and someone was coughing outside.
“Shit!” Anton's voice.
A second later, he grabbed the bathroom doorknob and jerked it. I still had it locked. “Babe? Are you okay in there?”
I gave it a little push and flung it open, then fell into his arms. “I just woke up,” I said, suddenly more energized by having his arms around me.
“Damn. I was hoping to have you in bed for the big surprise so it didn't give you too much of a shock. Nobody ever said this shit was gonna go perfect...”
I didn't understand what he was talking about. He held me, walked me out of the bathroom. I stopped when I saw his brothers standing against the wall. Lev and Daniel looked at us both, serious expressions on their faces. They wore matching black tactical suits like Anton.
Then I saw the bastard at their feet. Uncle Gioulio lay on the floor, squirming like an honest-to-God eel. His hands and legs were both bound by black cords. He turned his head, saw me, and started to struggle, grunting through his efforts.
The tape over his vile mouth prevented him from saying anything. For a second, my heart tried to have a flash of sympathy, but all the things he'd said and done came crashing home. The Russians weren't perfect, but they hadn't feigned love. They hadn't poisoned me. Anton and his brothers didn't twist my emotions the way he did – and he was fucking family!
My hand tightened in Anton's and he squeezed my fingers hard. We stomped over. I watched my man lean over the battered creature on the floor. In one fluid swipe, he ripped the tape off his mouth.
Uncle Gioulio coughed, looked at me, and swore. “Fuck. Don't let them do this to me, Brina. You can call it all off, save your uncle.”
I shook my head. Amazing. I'd never seen him act so pathetic.
Anger bristled in Anton's eyes. He drew a handgun from the holster near his belt and pressed it to my uncle's temple.
“You heard her. No. Now, shut the fuck up! You don't talk unless she tells you to, understand?” Every syllable he spoke was a feral growl. “And quit your begging, asshole. Be a man for once in your miserable life.”
Uncle Gioulio turned his head on the floor and closed his eyes. A harsh sob jarred his body. I came closer, pushed gently against Anton, pressing my lips to my uncle's ear.
“You told me about mama and how his father ran her down.” I waited until my uncle saw me squeezing Anton's arm, looking lovingly into his eyes. I beamed back just as much hate at the bastard on the floor. “You didn't tell me about Mercedes, the French woman they were really after. Why?”
Gioulio sobbed again. He rolled, until he was flat on his back, miserably staring up at the ceiling.
“I loved that fucking woman. I'll go to my grave loving her like nothing else. Just do what you're gonna do,” he said, a little strength returning to his voice.
“You lied to me.” The words were so dry in my throat I choke back a cough.
I wasn't sure what I expected. Maybe an apology, an unselfish sob, something to tell me he was sorry for all this and wasn't just out to save his own ass.
Uncle Gioulio's eyes shifted to mine. They were narrowed, hateful. He looked at me like a pet who'd just disappointed him. Anton saw it, and he snarled, tightening his hold on the gun. He was ready to pull the trigger well over a minute ago.
“Not yet,” I said, pinching at his arm. “Uncle, I need to know...did you ever care about me at all? Was I ever anything more than a loose end you couldn't tie up after you killed my parents?”
“I had you tied up,” he hissed, bitterness in his voice. “Everything was fine. Perfect, until you decided to start interviewing this asshole in prison. You never would've found out shit. You would've been dumb, blind, and happy. I could've sent you overseas, left you the family fortune, more money than you'll ever see now. I've made ten times more each year alone than I ever did working with Gio.”
I bit my lip when he said my father's name, and the asshole just kept digging.
“He wasn't strong enough. Neither was that fucking whore he married. She turned him soft. She twisted his arm into building more legit shit, riding my ass about leaving the real lucrative stuff behind. We had a problem with the Russians, and I saw my chance to kill two birds at once. It was Mercedes' idea. That woman never made mistakes. Fuck, if things hadn't gone to shit with her, I wouldn't be sprawled out on the floor like this right now!”
“But you are,” I reminded him, running my sharp nails over his chest. “Thank you, uncle. That was all I needed to know.”
Anton looked at me, his blue eyes burning like gas fires. “We ready to flush this turd, or what?”
“Do it,” Uncle Gioulio insisted. “Let him put me out of my fucking misery.”
The terror was gone. He was ready to die, resigned to his fate at the business end of Anton's gun.
Why did that make me feel so disappointed?
Anton looked at me. I nodded. His hand was up lightning fast, and he was about to pull the trigger when I reached up and slapped his shoulder.
“Wait. There's one more thing...” I crawled around on my hands and knees, until I was on the opposite side of him.
I put my hand on Gioulio's head and ran it backwards slowly. I'd inherited the same amazing Ligiotti hair, soft and dark and thick. The adrenaline numbing him made his jaw work like he was chewing on his own anxiety, sinking his teeth into the memories no doubt flashing before his eyes.
Several long, soft strokes calmed him down. He looked at me one last time with wider, softer eyes. There was the man I remembered. Kindly old uncle Gioulio.
Now, I was sure.
Somewhere deep down inside, he really
cared for me. That made everything he'd done even more unforgivable.
I was ready.
“Niece, I'm sorry, sorry, so fucking sorry,” he said, his voice breaking.
A thin, pleading smile pulled at his lips. I studied his pale face for a moment, leaning over him, finishing the last loop through his hair with my fingertips.
My face was right over his when I pursed my laps and spat. “I'm not.”
I reached for the gun in Anton's hand while my spit was still in my uncle's eyes. I wrapped both hands tight around the weapon, pressed it to his forehead, and pulled the trigger.
The shot was deafening.
I jumped as its echo died. The gun slid out of my hands to the floor, and I backed away on my knees before my uncle's dark blood could touch me. Anton was on me lightning fast, pulling me up into his arms.
“You did good, babe.”
“Just kiss me,” I whimpered, stumbling away from the dead body.
He did. Anton grabbed me, jerked me close, smashed his lips to mine. His kiss carried me away, let me soar high above the hell below. I'd killed him, and hoped to God he was the only person I'd ever have to pull the trigger on.
Good thing I made it count, my one play at controlling life and death.
Anton's kiss swirled through the icy numbness inside me. With just his mouth, he warmed me, soothed me, told me everything was going to be okay.
We could rebuild after this. I just didn't know how.
“What now?” I whispered, stepping away with him so his brothers could start cleaning up the body.
“Glad you asked. The doc said you're good to travel. You just need a little extra rest, but you can make the trip.”
“Travel?” I shook my head. “When? Where?”
“We're leaving, babe. Tonight. Half the Chicago police were swarming our asses looking for me, and that's before we caused a ruckus at your uncle's place. Now? Shit, I'll be surprised if the Governor hasn't sent out the National Guard.”
“Oh my God.”
My heart beat like a hammer. He really was one of the country's most wanted – something I'd easily forgotten in the chaos. I had to focus on my breathing, anything to prevent myself from falling back into another coma.
“Don't worry. We've already got our rat line worked out. My brothers are staying here. They'll be able to buy time and stay outta trouble with a few good lawyers. As for you and me, we gotta put some serious distance between us and the windy city.”
“Where?” I whispered again, wondering all about the mechanics of loving a fugitive.
Hell, make that living like one too. We both killed the bastard at our feet, and we'd both go to jail if the law ever caught up with us.
Where? Where the hell was there anywhere on earth we'd be able to live above the surface, without looking over our shoulder every stupid second?
Anton just looked at me and smiled. “Come on, babe. You're a smart girl. You already know.”
Early the next morning, we left for Lake Michigan. I watched Anton bid his brothers goodbye. The three men exchanged big manly hugs while I looked on.
When they were finished, the sophisticated Daniel came strutting over to me. “You're a lucky girl. Never thought I'd see the day when Anton's ready to run off and settle down. Listen, I'm sorry things had to start out so fucked up between us.”
You and me both. I chewed on what he'd said for awhile, trying to decide whether he was being sincere or just diplomatic.
Grudgingly, I took his hand, and gave it one hard shake. Anton's brothers had good reason for mistrusting me after everything Uncle Gioulio had done. Of course, they'd been complete assholes and only made things worse.
But when had anything between our families been easy? If someone had told me I'd be standing in this house after a prison break and a near death experience, lovestruck by a man who'd scared my panties off the first time I met him, I would've made them bite their tongues.
“Chicago's in your hands now,” I reminded him. “It'll be good to put some distance between us for awhile. Someday, when we come back...we'll see how I feel.”
An arrogant smirk pulled at his lips. “You'll love us one day. Me and Lev both. I'm sure of it. One big, happy family. Whatever the hell I thought about you before, consider it gone. Clean slate. Take care of him for us, baby. You're good for him, and that's all that fucking matters at the end of the day.”
He hugged me. A dozen emotions tangled in my belly. Clean slate resonated, and so did his tacit acceptance. When he let me go, the chauffeur was waiting impatiently.
Another servant carried down our luggage while Anton and Lev exchanged a few more words. I overheard them while I descended, taking the steps to the car, wondering if this dacha overseas he'd picked out had high stone steps too.
“By the time you get back, bro, we're all gonna have another eight figures to split between us. We're gonna make some crazy fucking bank without the Italians in the way.” Lev looked past his older brother like he was waiting for gold coins to start raining from the sky.
“Whatever. You know I don't care about that shit. We're all in one piece. Blood before money. I want my family to prosper, but I'm outta the business for a good, long while. It's in your hands now. You make our old man proud filling up the bank, and I'll do it building this family.”
Anton turned, looked at me. He seriously loved me.
Those lights in his royal blue eyes were as bright as the stars that first night we'd had sex. It was insane how fast I'd let his whirlwind pick me up and carry me away, but love and hate were always rocket fuel in huge quantities.
Part of me hoped we'd never fully settle down. This man made me feel like nobody else, even when I hated his guts and wanted him dead. He'd pulled me from my depths, saved my life, saved me ten times over. He delivered the lone bastard who reminded me I didn't deserve to crawl into a hole and die for what I'd done.
Killing Gioulio with him by my side drove a stake through the darkest parts of my heart.
I was finally free to experience everything. Free to live. Free to love.
“Shit, dude, at least put a ring on her finger before you try to breed her. You know cousin Strelkov did that much when he married his Italian princess out in Jersey.” Lev grinned.
Anton gave him a dirty look. “Come on. This shit's not half as sloppy as that sideshow with the extended family. You saying I'm a bigger fool than David fucking Strelkov?”
“No, just a hornier one. You know I'm just busting your balls. Seriously, it'll be cool to have a nephew or niece talking Russian. Papa would've been proud.” Lev gave him one last slap.
“Whatever. I'm gonna do it all right. Everything has its time and place. There'll be plenty of time to finally learn the ancestral tongue myself.” He paused. “Take care of yourself, brother. You're the brawn now. Don't let D's brains cause any more goddamned trouble.”
They both laughed, but I could tell it was bittersweet. Anton would be a wanted man with active investigators on him for a long time. It might be more than a decade before we ever set foot on US soil again, let alone returned to the only city I'd ever known.
I looked across the flat plains towards Chicago. The city was impossible to see from here. I wanted one last look, and I was still straining on my tip-toes when Anton crept up behind me. He grabbed me, pulled me toward him, wrapping both his big arms around my waist.
“What're you looking at, babe? It's time to go. Got a boat expecting us at ten o'clock sharp.”
I turned, pressing my cheek to his chest. God, I'd never get tired of this rock hard contrast against my soft skin.
“Nothing. Everything I need's already right here.”
One embrace changed my mind. I meant what I said. I'd miss the windy city, but it hadn't exactly been good to me. Chicago chewed my family up and spit me out a different girl than I'd been a couple months ago, and now I was ready to discover what kinda badass bitch the new Sabrina was.
It was a long couple days. The ship that too
k us across the great lake was more like an old freighter, and the waters were definitely frigid with November around the corner. Anton held me on his lap the entire time, whispering how amazing it was gonna be when we hit land again.
It seemed like we sailed forever, rocking in the cold, chaotic waves, all through the deep dark night. When the churning motion stopped, I woke up from the long nap I'd been taking with him.
Shoreline. Upper Michigan.
From there, it was a short drive to the border, and then one more boat ride across to foreign soil. We finally got to the airport in Sault Sainte Marie a day later, where the private jet was waiting for us on the Canadian side.
I'd never been on one before. Papa and my uncle could certainly afford it, but I'd never boarded one until now. It was strange to think the luxurious cabin with the big bed and the comfy chairs was a one-way rocket for taking us halfway around the world.
Half an hour later, we took off, on our way east for one last refueling stop before we crossed the wide Atlantic.
I stared out the window, gazing at the endless Ontario forests below. Anton slid into the seat next to me. “How you feeling, babe? Better than the boat ride in?”
“Yeah,” I said, surprised my excitement cut through the melancholy tugging at my heart. “It's like the other night with Gioulio never happened at all...they said it should take a week to get over the poison. It's gone, all of it.”
He smiled. “Course it is. You gave me one fuck of a scare, but I knew you'd get over that shit in the bottle. It was the motherfucker we finished off who was really dragging you down.”
“I know,” I said, reaching for the small glass of mineral water at my side and taking a long sip. “I keep wondering what's next. I've never been so far from home before.”
“Shit, neither have I. Well, not that I remember. My old man always meant to fly us back to the motherland when we were kids, but it got to be a dangerous place after Soviet power crumbled. The seedy fucking underworld we both grew up in was a hundred times safer than that shock and awe shit Russia went through in the nineties.” He grabbed me then, pulling me onto his lap. Instant heat. “You worry too much, babe. It's cute, but you shouldn't be wasting your precious energy. Long as we're together, it's gonna be amazing, wherever we end up. You know?”
