by Ali Parker
“I left him.”
“Did he hit you?”
“No,” I said quickly, “but things were getting worse. A lot worse. I had to get Luke out of there. I’m sorry Kim. I’m so sorry. I let him pull me away, and now I just feel like there’s so much distance between me and the rest of the world, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”
“Do you remember how to get to my place?”
My bottom lip quivered, and I nodded, forgetting she couldn’t see me. “Yes. I remember.”
“Okay. Come straight to my place. Only stop to pee and get food. I’ll make the spare room up for Luke, and you guys can stay as long as you need to. Seriously, Holly. As long as you need to.”
I couldn’t hold on to the tears, and I let them stream down my cheeks as I tightened my grip on the steering wheel. “Thank you.”
“How far away are you?”
“Another two hours, maybe.”
“Okay. I’ll be home when you get here. And Holly?”
“Yes?”
“Don’t be sorry. Turn on your radio, and listen to the music. Sing along with Luke. I know it’s hard, but trust me, everything is about to get better for you guys. I promise.”
I nodded again to nobody, and the tears stopped. “I know.”
My idea of “better” on that drive from Philadelphia to New York hadn’t been waiting tables at The Roost. But, it was the only place willing to hire me with my complete lack of work experience.
I had been with my ex, Kent, since we were in high school together. Our relationship had always been rocky, and I’d known all along there were things about him that didn’t align with the things I wanted for myself, but somehow, I’d ended up staying with him anyway. Then, after barely turning twenty, I became pregnant with Luke, and I shifted my mentality to accept that Kent was going to be my forever. My always.
I’d pushed down, buried, and repressed all thoughts and memories that would have opposed that. Memories and people. Well, one person.
And it had all ended up going down in flames anyway, despite my best efforts to maintain a happy household. Kent just wasn’t that man. He was angry and irresponsible. He didn’t want to be a father or a partner. He wanted to be single, and he wanted to spend his time at the bars. When he did come home, which was rare, it was with a bad attitude and a knack for breaking things in the house that were special to me, not to him.
Like my mother’s old china set.
Or my jewelry box from my great aunt.
When Kent had come home that night and gone into Luke’s room and broke his lamp, toy chest, dresser, and Lego castle, I knew I had to get us the hell out of there. It was only a matter of time before one of those fists was coming for my face or worse, my son’s.
I wasn’t going to let that happen.
No fucking way.
So I was crashing on Kim’s couch while Luke slept in her spare bedroom, which she had taken the initiative to paint bright green and fill with some toys and other comforts. She told me we could stay as long as we needed and promised that she was thankful for the company.
I ached to be back at her apartment with the two of them. Right now, they were probably cleaning up their dinner dishes and getting ready to settle down for the night. I wouldn’t be home for hours yet.
Snapping fingers at one of my tables distracted me, and I spent the rest of my shift racing around the restaurant. At one point, Talon gave me a thumbs-up, which was reassuring. Even though I didn’t like the job, I needed it, so a reminder that I was doing well helped take some of the stress off.
When my shift ended, my feet were pulsing and swollen, and my shoulders and arms hurt from carrying such heavy trays. The restaurant slowly emptied, and the four servers on shift began cashing out. Like always, my count balanced.
I saved my favorite part of closing for last. I took all my tips out of my fanny pack and placed them next to a debit printout of all my plastic tips, in other words, tips from clients who paid with a credit or debit card. Then, I added the two totals and paid my tip outs to the kitchen staff and hostesses.
After that, I had earned almost three hundred dollars in one evening. I could pay for some groceries for Kim and maybe give her a little bit towards her utilities. I wasn’t willing to freeload off my sister. She was doing enough by letting us be in her space and intrude so much in her life, the least I could do was try to cover some of her expenses while I saved up to get Luke and me our own place.
I tucked my change into my back pocket and made for the kitchens, only to be distracted by Talon’s raised voice at one of the back registers.
He was letting one of the other servers have it. Her name was Claire. She was a couple years older than me and sweeter than maple syrup, which made her an easy target for Talon’s anger. She kept her eyes on the floor as he yelled at her, and I saw the glistening of a tear in the corner of one eye from where I stood.
I waited for Talon to leave before going to her and asking if she was all right.
Claire nodded at me but was unwilling to meet my eyes. She sniffled a little and ran shaking fingers beneath her eyes to wipe away the wetness of her tears.
“I’m all right. I made a mistake is all. I have to pay out fifty dollars to cover my register.”
“Fifty dollars?” I asked. That was a lot of money for one error. It was hard to think that she would make a mistake so big. “What happened?”
“One of my tables dined and dashed.” She threw her hands in the air in exasperation. “But when we’re this busy and overstaffed, how am I supposed to catch that? I only have two eyes!”
I bit my bottom lip. Claire had three sons at home and was a single mom. Her mother went to her place to babysit while she worked in the evenings, and her ex’s mom came during the day when she went to work selling insurance. She was stretched thin, and she was barely making ends meet.
“Here,” I said, pulling out a fifty dollar bill from my fanny pack, “I had a really good night in tips. It’s not your fault those assholes walked out on you. Please let me help.”
More tears sprang to life in Claire’s blue eyes, and she shook her head frantically. “I couldn’t accept that.”
“How much did you make tonight, Claire? Talon had you in the smallest section. I know you couldn’t have cleared two hundred.”
She shook her head and sniffled some more. “One hundred and sixty-four.”
“You can’t bring home a hundred and fourteen dollars. That won’t go anywhere for your boys. I can help and still be okay myself. Please, just take it.”
After another moment of hesitation, Claire reached out and took the bill. “Thank you, Holly. Maybe one day, I’ll be able to return the favor.”
“I’m sure you will,” I said cheerfully, “and if not for me, for someone else. Us girls have to stick together, right?”
“Right.” She gave me a smile that looked like relief and gratitude before tucking the bill in her pocket. “I have to go find Talon to get him to sign off on me covering the loss. Thanks again. You’re a lifesaver.”
I watched Claire go and tried to tell myself that I still had enough cash to help Kim out with the groceries and utilities. There was always tomorrow night to earn more.
After a forty-five minute commute back to Kim’s apartment on the bus, I found myself slipping into Luke’s bedroom. A night-light on his nightstand cast twinkling stars on the ceiling, and I went to his side and sat down on the bed.
I stroked his blond curls and watched his eyelids dance as he dreamed. I wondered what sorts of things he dreamt about. Superheroes, adventures, games?
Or did he dream about his angry father?
If he did, I hoped they were the kinds of dreams he couldn’t remember in his waking hours.
Chapter 3
Jax
“It just doesn’t make any fucking sense, man,” Sabian muttered after polishing off the last three mouthfuls of his beer. “I’m telling you, there’s another club at play. It’s the only expl
anation. And it makes sense they’d move in on the Black Hearts when they’re leaderless. Easy prey. You know?”
I shrugged as a waitress swung by and planted another pitcher of beer between us. She had big brown eyes and soft brown curls that framed her pretty face. She had a nice ass, too, and I kept my eyes on the sway of her hips as she walked back behind the bar.
“Mhm.”
Sabian kicked my shin under the table.
“What the fuck?” I growled, my gaze swinging from the pretty waitress to my not-as-pretty friend.
His dark eyes were hard, and his eyebrows were drawn together. He looked almost menacing, at least, he would if he had another fifty pounds of meat on his bones.
“Did you hear a word I just said?” Sabian asked.
“Yes. Black Hearts are leaderless. Easy prey. Blah blah blah.” I waved my hand to punctuate each blah. “I can listen and admire at the same time, you know. It’s a skill.”
“Do you ever lead with your brain? Or is it always cock first?”
“What do you think?” I waggled my eyebrows.
Sabian shook his head as he filled both our glasses with fresh beer. I reached for mine and sipped the foam off the top before drawing the cool amber liquid into my mouth and letting it sit on my tongue. The first sip of a cool beer was always the best.
“Listen. I asked you here because I have more details of what actually went down at the mansion. But if you’d rather check out Katie’s rack—”
“Fuck off and quit playing games. I’m listening, and you know it. Just spill.” I wasn’t in the mood for Sabian’s attitude.
Sabian crossed his arms, knowing he’d been called out, and began telling me what he knew. “Seven bodies were confirmed. All male. All Black Hearts members. They were killed in the living room, apparently, and all the walls and furniture were full of bullets.”
“Tends to happen when two gangs go at it.”
Sabian shook his head. “That’s not the weird part, though. None of the guys were killed by bullets. All of them were killed with a machete. A fucking machete, bro. Dani said she got a look at the autopsy reports. Some of them had been shot, sure, but none of their injuries were life-threatening. Based on the crime scene, she says it looks as if they were shot to make them compliant. Most of them had blown out kneecaps. She thinks they were all subdued, lined up, and then hacked apart with the machete. One after another.”
“That’s fucked up.”
“Tell me about it. I would not want to be the last guy in line.”
I grimaced at the thought of being on my knees waiting for death as I watched someone hack apart my buddies. Ryder, Axel, Sabian. The list could go on forever.
“Do the cops have any suspects?”
“Not yet, as far as Dani knows. Besides it being gang-related, of course. They still don’t know how many guys were responsible for the mess, but Dani is guessing around ten. She thinks they must have had the upper hand in numbers and firepower.”
“So all the cops have are suspicions and no actual leads?”
“That’s what it sounds like, yeah.” Sabian picked at a splinter of wood on the edge of the table. Both of us took a large mouthful of beer at the same time.
“Do we need to start carrying again?”
“Ryder doesn’t want us to. Not yet. Not until we have more information.”
I ran my hand over my face. “This fucking blows.”
“Yeah. Tell me about it. I keep looking over my shoulder like the devil himself is coming for my ass.”
I had to agree with him. Ever since Sabian called me the previous morning, I’d been feeling the same way. The ride home on my bike hadn’t been pleasant at all. I felt exposed and ripe for the picking. If someone wanted me dead, it would be easy for them to take me out while I was on the back of a bike in nothing but a T-shirt and jeans. My skin had prickled with the sensation of being watched, but I knew it was only my paranoia.
If another gang was involved, the chances were, they had a personal vendetta against the Black Hearts. No one came out of the gate swinging with that much violence if it wasn’t personal. Going through past conflicts in my mind, I couldn’t think of a single person, sane or insane, who might want to come out of my MC with as much viciousness. It just didn’t make sense.
“What are you thinking about?” Sabian asked, pulling me from my thoughts.
“All of it.” I scratched the back of my neck and resisted the urge to look around the bar for potential threats. There were none. This was a safe place for us and all of the MC. It always had been. “I keep getting hung up on the motive, and I can’t tie it back to anyone who would make sense. Why would another group want to draw this much attention to themselves? No one does something this fucked up unless they’re trying to prove a point. So what’s the point, and who’s trying to prove it?”
Sabian blinked at me. “I don’t have a fucking clue.”
“Then, let’s talk through it.”
Sabian rolled his eyes but leaned forward to rest his elbows on the table anyway. “Okay. Talk me through it. I’ve never understood how that brain of yours works.”
“Well, let’s say you’re the leader of a rival group. You have history with the Black Hearts. You’re back in town, you want to let them know you’re not fucking around this time, and you know they’re weak because they’re leaderless. Is that what you would do? You’d go into their clubhouse and hack them to pieces? One by one? It’s overkill, man. It doesn’t add up. Why waste so much time and energy when you could have just blown a bunch of holes in them?”
“They’re a bunch of sociopaths?”
“Sure.” I shrugged. “But that’s a cop-out. Someone was trying to send a message. It wasn’t us. I don’t think it was another group, either.”
“Then, you think it was an inside job?”
“It’s the only thing I can wrap my head around, yeah. With all that firepower, and all those men, how did the Black Hearts not manage to take down at least one guy with them?”
“They have shitty aim?” Sabian joked.
I shook my head. “No. They never saw it coming. Those Black Hearts boys were on their knees begging for mercy before they even knew they were being attacked.”
“And all the bullet holes Dani mentioned? Who fired all those rounds?”
“The ones left standing,” I said simply.
“So they shot up their own clubhouse to make it look like another rival gang came in and tore shit up?” Sabian asked.
“That’s my best guess.”
Sabian nodded as if he was impressed by my assessment. “Makes sense, bro. Maybe you should have been a cop like Dani. You should run some of this by her and see what she thinks. Maybe it will help their investigation.”
“Or it will draw attention to the MC.”
Sabian shrugged one shoulder and finished his beer. “The double-edged sword of being in a biker gang, I guess.”
“Cheers to that.” I polished off my beer too. “Have you talked to Ryder about this at all?”
“Only a bit, mostly to see what Dani knew. Ryder wasn’t too keen on me calling his girl for info so he told me to call him first and he’d be the messenger. Fine by me. I’m more afraid of Dani than I am of Ryder.”
“Don’t let him hear you say that.”
“Yeah, yeah. You talked to him about it yet?”
I shook my head. “No. But I’m going to call him. I think all of us should get together and get everything out on the table. I have a bad feeling.”
“Call him now. I want to know what he says.”
I did as Sabian suggested and called Ryder, who answered on the third ring.
“What do you want?” Johnny Moretti barked at me through the phone.
I smiled involuntarily. “Nice to hear your voice, too, Ryder. You sound pretty today.”
“Eat my nuts,” Ryder hissed. “Seriously. What do you need? I’m kind of busy dealing with this Black Hearts bullshit.”
“That’s why I w
as calling.”
“You know something?”
“No,” I said evenly. “But I think we should all get together and hash this thing out. Make sure everyone is on the same page and has all the same info. Things could get messy, Ryder, and no one should be in the dark. You get me?”
There was a brief pause on the other end as Ryder mulled over my words. “Yeah. I suppose there’s sense in that. Meet me at my place tomorrow night at nine. I’ll give Axel the heads up. You tell Sabian. He’s been on Dani’s ass about this whole thing, and I think it’s time I set him straight and get him off her back.”
“Will do.”
“All right. Nine. Don’t be late. And keep this between us for now, will you? We still don’t know who actually did it, and I don’t want word getting out to the wrong ears.”
“Got it, Ryder. See you tomorrow.”
Ryder hung up, and I slipped my phone back in my pocket. “Tomorrow at nine. Ryder’s place. If Dani’s there, avoid making eye contact. You’re right about him being miffed over all your calls to her.”
Sabian rolled his eyes. “I’m not trying to steal his woman. I’m trying to get information about a fucking mass murder for Christ’s sake.”
“I know. But you know Ryder. What’s his is his.”
“Don’t I know it. Insecure bastard.”
I widened my eyes. “Watch yourself.”
Ryder could be a royal asshole, but I’d follow him anywhere. He had my loyalty to the end, and I wasn’t foolish enough to risk speaking ill of the man, especially not out in public. Things had a way of always getting back to Ryder. He had connections, being the leader of the MC, and Sabian was a fool if he thought he was safe just because he was with me.
“So, this bad feeling of yours,” Sabian said in an effort to change the subject. “What exactly do you think is going to happen?”
I sighed and caught myself looking up at Katie, who was wiping down the bar while chatting happily with the other bartender. I envied her a bit. The way she was able to live carefree and separate from all the madness we contended with in the MC was something I would never have, something I could never deserve.
