She sat down on the large boulder overlooking the valley, enjoying the warmth it had soaked up from the sun. Stretching slowly, she watched the bison move lazily below them, wincing from time to time as she worked kinks out of her sore muscles before moving to the next. They’d been trapped in the tent for most of the time they’d been there. As much as she loved snuggling with him, there was a lot to be said for having room to stretch out and breathe after so much time spent in such a confined space.
Footsteps behind her announced Egan was awake. It had rained on and off all morning, and Egan had taken advantage once again, making love to her until the both fell back, too exhausted to move. They’d slept half the day away, and the late-afternoon sun was already starting to dip towards the horizon.
He slid in behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her to lean against him. “You were gone when I woke up.”
“The rain stopped. I wanted some fresh air.”
He nuzzled her neck, breathing in her scent and trailing tender kisses from her jaw to her shoulder as he did.
“Are you hungry?” she asked.
“Of course I am.” His lips brushed against her when he spoke, sending shivers up and down her body. She rolled her eyes, wondering how her body could continue to respond to him when she was so sore and so tired.
It was clear that their lovemaking was still on his mind. Not that Cambria was complaining, but they couldn’t spend every day in bed.
“I meant for food. You’re insatiable.”
“Only when you’re involved.”
She doubted that, but she let it slide. Egan had professed his love multiple times, but Cambria had shied away from saying the words. No man had ever actually loved her, and over the years she’d come to find that “I love you” had been used to manipulate her time and time again.
It felt different when Egan said it; like genuine for the first time in her life. But she’d thought that before, so she was trying to guard her heart and stay cautious. Someday, she might say the words, but for now, her actions were going to have to be proof enough.
Egan stood, jogging over to the tree and climbing up a few branches to retrieve their food from the pack secured above. There weren’t any bears in the area, but there were plenty of coyotes and other scavengers, and Egan wasn’t willing to risk their food supply by leaving it in a lower, more accessible place. He rummaged through the food options, pulling out Cambria’s favorite meal replacement bar and tossing it to her before taking their canteens to the quickly moving stream and filling them both.
He returned, handing her one canteen and keeping one for himself. He sat on a rock in front of hers, facing her as they shared a meal. Cambria drank the chilly liquid, enjoying the fresh taste that never got old. The water at the compound had come from a well, but it had an odd taste to it. More than once, she voiced her concern over it, but her words were dismissed, much like everything else she said or did.
“What are you thinking about?”
“Why?”
“You’re scowling again. You get lost in thought all the time, and when you do, you make that face.”
“I’m thinking about you if that’s what you’re worried about.” Her words were a little harsher than she meant them to be, and she immediately felt bad.
But Egan chuckled, leaning forward and squeezing her calf affectionately as he looked into her eyes. “I’m not worried about what you think of me. Your body does an excellent job of letting me know exactly how you feel.” He winked, and Cambria felt her face flush. He was such a tease, constantly bantering back and forth with her, sometimes for seemingly no reason.
At first, she’d found his lighthearted demeanor and constant quipping exhausting. But once she grew accustomed to it, she realized he was just a happy man. His happiness was infectious, and Cambria found herself feeling more relaxed and upbeat around him than she had been for as long as she could remember.
She took a deep breath, wondering how much of her life with Laskin and the others she should reveal. She’d spent most of her life hating shifters, and she didn’t want to hurt his feelings. “I was just thinking about how no one ever took me seriously before, and I guess I’m still angry about being brushed off all the time like my opinion was nothing because I’m a woman. I understood why Laskin treated me like a child. At least, I thought I did, but I wonder now if he ever cared for me.”
“He must have, on some level. He saved you and protected you. Laskin was an evil, vile man, but evil isn’t black and white. Bad people have good qualities, no matter how bad they are. Which is why you’re struggling with it so much. If he was just bad, you could write him off and walk away unhurt. But he was like family, and he betrayed you. I understand.”
“Do you? I mean really? How could you understand?”
“I’d known Laskin my entire life. He spent plenty of time in my home for me to get to know him. I didn’t really like him, but I never knew the real him. He was just the harmless man who followed the elders around, taking notes and serving them drinks. I was just as surprised as you when he came after us and I found out that, not only was he the son of a human, but that he was the driving force behind everything that was going wrong in our world, amongst the other tigers.
"When he attacked us five years ago, that’s when we found out. Until he shifted in front of us and he had the silver coat of the mixed breeds, we had no idea that he wasn’t full-blooded shifter. I was only eighteen at the time so it was a lot to absorb. He didn’t raise me though, so I can only imagine that the betrayal you feel is infinitely more painful than what I felt.”
“You’re probably right. I just can’t get over the fact that he left me behind when everyone else went off to fight. After all the training I did, and how hard I worked, he just pushed me aside.”
“If he hadn’t done that, you wouldn’t have been alone when I came to get you. It would have gone completely different.”
Cambria considered that for a moment, smiling at the thought. “You would have had to work harder to catch me.”
“You beat the hell out of me all on your own. You did a damn fine job of protecting yourself.”
“True. But you were relentless.”
“I was driven by love.”
Cambria’s smile faltered.
“I wish those words didn’t freak you out. I love you. I loved you before I met you and I’ll love you the rest of my life. That’s a good thing, not something to fear.”
Cambria didn’t say anything about what he’d said, instead, changing the subject.
“So you’re not silver then? I mean, when you change?”
“No. I’m orange and black. Like a normal tiger.”
“There’s nothing normal about tiger shift—" her hands flew to her mouth to stop herself, but it was too late. “I’m sorry. I don’t know where that came from.”
“It’s alright. It takes a lot to break down prejudices that have been ingrained in you for so long.” He leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek tenderly. “I have faith that you’ll move passed it.” He started walking towards the tent, but Cambria called out to him and he stopped.
“Can I see you? I mean you as a tiger?”
He turned, taking a deep breath before he spoke. “Are you sure? It can be,” he searched for the word, “intimidating. We’re much bigger than actual tigers. And I won’t be able to talk to you.”
“I’m sure. I want to see you. If you want me to eventually be able to say those words to you.”
“You mean that you love me?”
“Yes. Those words,” she swallowed down her panic at the very thought, “then shouldn’t they come from the mouth of a woman who has seen you in all your forms?”
Egan shrugged. He couldn’t argue with her logic, though he wondered if she was truly ready for such a thing. “If you think you’re ready, I can. But I’m not sure if it’s a good idea.”
“I’m ready. I promise.”
Egan nodded. He undressed quickly, f
olding his clothes neatly beside him on the ground and laying his hiking boots on top. Her eyes trailed down his naked body and he caught her gaze, winking at her when he did. She blushed prettily, yanking her eyes back to his face and trying to ignore the bronzed, chiseled chest that beckoned to her. It was a struggle.
Holding his hands in front of him, he watched her face as he shifted. He willed his body to shift slowly, giving her ample time to adjust to each new change before the next one came. The pain this caused was excruciating, but Egan held fast, gritting his teeth and bearing the pain.
Cambria gasped as his hands slowly moved, fashioning themselves into paws while they simultaneously sprouted short, orange and white hair. She watched in awe as the tiger took over the human flesh, the dramatic change inching up his arms slowly.
Cambria noticed that his feet were also changing, tightening and curling beneath themselves until they formed massive paws. When he’d changed all the way to his knees, he dropped down onto all fours. His knee joints reversed, bending back painfully as his legs became rear legs and the direction of the joint changed accordingly.
Egan was breathing hard, the pain evident on his face. He looked at Cambria, trying to keep his expression neutral. “Are you okay?” he asked
“Yes. I’m fine.”
“Good,” he ground out. He was losing control. The effort to lengthen his shift was too much and he finally let go. In an instant, the rest of his body changed, forcing a roar of pain from Egan as cells splits and altered violently.
Still, Cambria held his gaze, watching as the last of Egan’s face disappeared into the visage of a giant tiger. Egan shuddered, shaking himself a bit to cast off the last of the pain. He stood, eyes locked on Cambria as she sat there, arms wrapped tightly around her legs, which were pulled up to her chest.
“Can I touch you?” she asked, but then realized that he could no longer speak.
She stood, her steps slow and hesitant. Egan bowed his head and lowered it to the ground, his mighty paws crossed in front of him.
Cambria closed the space between them slowly, taking deep breaths as she went. Trying to remain calm, she reminded herself over and over that it was Egan, and not some strange animal after her. In the back of her mind, everything that had been drilled into her head was trying to come to the surface. She pushed those thoughts away, rejecting the ignorant things she’d been taught and holding onto what she knew to be fact.
She knew that Egan hadn’t once harmed her.
She knew that he had protected her when the battle had erupted.
And she knew that he loved her, beyond reason and without cause.
One foot in front of the other, she moved forward until she was standing between is front paws. He didn’t move, but she could hear his steady breath and a low, even purring.
Hand trembling slightly, she reached out to him. She grabbed his ear between two fingers, gently rubbing back and forth and taking in the feel of his coat. It was coarser than she’d expected, but it was exactly the color she envisioned it would be.
Her heart pounded so forcefully that her throat ached. She took a calming breath, trying to get herself under control. Repeating her mantra that it was only Egan, she trailed her fingers over the length of his face, smoothing her thumb over his brow bone and using her nails to scratch the hair along his nose. His eyes closed briefly and she made a mental note to ask him if that had felt particularly good.
Cambria touched his nose lightly. It felt odd, almost like a cat’s nose but not quite. She wondered when she’d touched a cat’s nose, but it had been too long ago for her to remember.
She grabbed his face in both hands, resting her forehead on his for a moment, breathing in the scent of him. She couldn’t see or smell the Egan she knew, but somehow, she knew he was in there. That this tiger was the man who had saved her from certain death; the man who had taken her from the compound and opened her eyes to what it was liked to be loved and respected and not treated like a burden or lesser than.
The sky was starting to turn gray and gold, and a chill was creeping into the air. Cambria released Egan’s, stepping to the side and running her hand along his back, over his hip before sliding her hand down to the end of his tail.
He looked back at her, then at his back.
“You want me to ride you?” she asked.
His head lowered and raised, looking very much like he was shaking his head “yes”.
“I can’t do that, I’ll hurt you.”
Egan rolled his eyes visibly and Cambria had to laugh. It was the oddest expression to see on the face of a tiger, but it was proof that he retained his humanness, even when in the shape of a tiger. She relented, scrambling gracelessly onto his back before straddling him. Egan stood, the motion almost unseating Cambria. He turned over his shoulder again and somehow Cambria knew that he meant to hold on tight.
She reached down, grabbing his loose scruff and holding on tightly. Egan turned towards the valley below, still glowing a soft gold as the sun disappeared almost completely. He picked his way down the rocks, careful not to fling Cambria off his back as he went. The bison continued to graze, unaware that he was slinking down the hill towards them. When his paws touched the valley floor, he crouched low and crept towards them. Cambria had never been so close to a bison. She was in awe of their size and the flat, brown color of their coats.
There was a large bull grazing on the edge of the herd, several yards away from the group. He looked up, enormous brown eye looking at them for a split second before he realized that there was a predator among them. When he saw Egan, he bellowed, turning to flee and starting the others running away. Egan gave them a head start before he went after them, startling Cambria in the process. He wasn’t trying to cause a stampede, so he gave them plenty of leeway. Cambria watched the entire scene unfold, in awe of the beauty of the creatures before her, and the one beneath her.
Before long, Egan stopped and turned back the way they’d come. The sky was starting to darken now, and there was a bite to the air that hadn’t been there before. Egan began to run back through the valley towards the campsite, lengthening his stride and picking up speed. The wind whipped through Cambria’s hair, which flew around her face haphazardly. Her breathing sped up, her excitement growing.
When he got to the base of the hill, he leaped onto the first boulder and onto the next, giving no more than a moment’s rest between each boulder before jumping on the next one. The final leap was the largest. Cambria saw what was before them and plastered herself to his back, wrapping her legs and arms around him and holding on for dear life. Powerful back legs propelled them into the air and onto the final boulder.
Egan walked back to where they’d started, lying down once more to let Cambria slide off his back and onto solid ground again. Cambria’s legs were unsteady, so she reached out to put her hand on Egan to hold herself up. When the feeling passed, she stepped away, scratching him behind the ear before returning to her rock. She sat down, chin on her knees while she watched him. It was a lot to absorb and Cambria was a little overcome with all she’d experienced.
Egan changed back to a human, the transformation moving much more quickly than the first. In human form once more, he dressed quickly before going to Cambria, sitting behind her once more and wrapping himself around her. She trembled softly but otherwise gave no indication of how she was feeling. He kissed the top of her head and held her, letting her sit in silence and waiting for her to speak.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Encircled in his embrace, Cambria finally quit trembling.
“Are you okay?” he asked. “I knew I shouldn’t have done that.”
“No. It’s all right. I just never expected to see you like that, or to be completely unafraid. The only shifter I had ever seen before was in the woods when I first met Laskin. And that was so frightening I passed out.”
She pressed herself against him, her cheek burrowed into his chest, head under his chin. She felt safer in his arms than she ever i
magined she would, much safer than any man before him. Cambria chuckled under her breath at the thought.
“What?”
“I was just thinking that I felt safer in your arms than any man before you. But then I realized, no man before you ever held me like this.”
“Never?”
“No. It’s not like I have a lot of experience. But the men I was with would leave shortly after. We were just in it for the sex, there was no talk of love.”
Egan smiled but didn’t point out to her that she’d all but said she loved him just then. Not in so many words, but that was by far the closest she had come.
They talked for a while, with Egan listening intently to both the things she said and those that she’d left out. She is so guarded about her past, driven by years of conditioning to keep as much about herself private as possible. Egan kept his mouth shut, letting her go on as long as she was willing to talk. He’d learned that asking her something when she was opening up was the quickest way to shut her down and send her back into brooding silence.
He was shocked when she brought up Laskin.
“Laskin asked me how far I was willing to go for the cause if kidnapping Grace didn’t flush your brother and his wife out.”
“What do you mean?” He kicked himself mentally for asking, but the statement was disarming.
“He wanted me to use sex to get to the shifters. I think he was talking about you, specifically.” She laughed softly. “Wouldn’t it be funny to see his face now?”
Egan kissed her neck, pulling her closer and holding on for dear life. She might be able to laugh about the things that Laskin had proposed, but one thing was very clear to Egan: there was no danger that was too great for Laskin to send her into without worrying about her safety.
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