by MJ Compton
“It’s not the same thing.”
What she’d done was so shameful. She’d taken off her clothes. She’d shaved her private parts–at Gary’s direction–so she would look younger, and she’d let him take photographs of her. In provocative poses. Even taking a shower turned into a photo op for Gary. Locking the door didn’t deter him at all. Pose, he said. Unless you never want to see your sister again. I know a man who wants to buy her. Wants to teach her to behave. Libby could use some lessons in behavior. My friend likes stupid girls, too. He gets to hurt them more until they learn.
Dying in a car accident like her father would have been easier.
Luke draped his arm around her shoulders. Pulled her close. “If I could have kept your secret, I would have. As far as I know, only Tokarz knows. And Mitchell Jasper. I waited until Restin was out of the car before I told Tokarz the whole story. And he’s doing everything he can to keep the feds away from you and Libby. But you’re the first victims they’ve been able to identify. And Tokarz can do only so much.”
She didn’t understand why Toke Lobo needed to know anything. He was a country music singer, not a . . .
“Because I’m now on the task force to nail these scat-eating, diarrhea drinking vampires, I’ll try to be present while you’re being questioned. Maybe with Libby, too.”
“Not Libby. I kept Libby safe. That’s why I posed.”
“I know. But you don’t know if Gary lied.” Luke brushed her hair off her wet cheeks. “I am going to do everything I can to protect you. You are not in this alone anymore, Abs.”
She didn’t say anything for a long time. Luke held her. Rested his cheek on the top of her head. He helped settle her brain. He’d brought her to this remote location to preserve her privacy. They never could have had this conversation at his grandparents’ house. Maybe, maybe he really was on her side. Maybe telling him about how it happened would be the catharsis she needed to purge herself and move on.
“Mama married Gary about a year after Daddy died.”
“How old were you?”
Tears plopped from her chin to her chest. “Sixteen,” she whispered. “I was a slow developer, so I looked younger. Like Libby.”
Luke leapt to his feet. “He put you through that for five years?”
He couldn’t have been any louder if he’d roared the question. His voice echoed over the water. He stalked through the stones to the edge of the lake, each step crunching like breaking bones. “Five fricking years?”
“I didn’t have any way to get away from him. And I had to protect Libby from him, and take care of my mother. I didn’t have any choice.” The words wobbled.
Luke stopped. Turned to look at her. He hurried back to the blanket. “I know. This isn’t your fault, Abs,” he said as he knelt next to her. “You’re the victim, not the criminal. You don’t have to make excuses. You don’t have to justify jack. Not to me, not to anyone.”
“I know I should have left. Should have told someone. But the age of consent is fifteen, so there was nothing anyone could do to him. I was legal. Besides, too many people thought Gary was a hero for taking on a sick woman and her two kids. So it was easier to stay, accept Gary’s care for Mama and Libby in exchange for taking off my clothes.”
You know what a snuff film is? Gary’s voice was as clear in her memory as the sky overhead. It’s a movie where the girl gets killed during sex. If anything happens to me, you’ll be starring in your own snuff film. Then what will happen to your mother and sister? So think real hard about your decisions, Abigail.
“If I’d been a stronger person, a better person, Gary wouldn’t have been able to blackmail me about Mama or Libby.”
“The age of consent is fifteen only if the guy is less than four years older. He played you.” Luke crushed her to his chest. “Never, ever think any of this was your fault. You were vulnerable and he frigging played you.”
“I thought if I could sell my songs to Toke Lobo, he’d pay me enough money so I could get away and take Libby with me.”
Luke uttered a string of curses she’d never heard before. “And I let you down.”
“You didn’t know.”
“That doesn’t excuse me. I told you I’d do something, and I didn’t follow through.” His voice rumbled against her cheek. “That was three more months you had to put up with him, when five years was already too much time. Ancient Ones, I wish I’d been the one to kill him.”
Abby felt his lips on the top of her head.
“I hate to ask you this, but do you have any idea who might have killed him?”
She shook her head.
“Who were his friends? Co-workers? Anything?”
“He played poker every Wednesday night. Pete MacDougal, Jesse Stetson, Digger Sendall. A couple of others. That’s all I know. He worked with Pete. We weren’t exactly the poster children of family dinner table conversations. Mostly I tried to keep Libby out of his way.”
“You and Libby could be in danger.” His huge hand spanned her slightly rounded belly. “Every single individual in Loup Garou will protect you with his or her life. But that doesn’t mean you can take chances. Tokarz has increased the guards at Mom and Dad’s place, as well as Gramps and Granny’s.”
Abby pulled away so she could read his expression
His eyes glittered like distant stars in the night. “Tokarz and this guy, Mitchell Jasper, who’s our government contact, are working on getting you named Libby’s legal guardian. Unless your mother or father had a will naming someone else?”
“I’m Libby’s guardian. Mama said so in her will.”
“Great. I was afraid she didn’t have a will.”
Abby hesitated. She needed to trust someone. “Mama knew she was dying for a long time. She took care of everything, because Daddy hadn’t done anything and it was a mess for a long time after he died. I have all of her important papers. Including her will. And her will says I’m Libby’s legal guardian.”
“That is fantastic news.” He was grinning. “We need to give it to Jasper, so he can—”
“What makes you think I’m going to turn over anything to a stranger?”
Luke didn’t say anything for several moments. The only sound was that of the water lapping against the shore and a lonely bird complaining about something. “Would you rather have Tokarz deal with it?”
“Why would Tokarz get involved?” She had a difficult time remembering Toke Lobo’s real name was Tokarz de Lobo Garnier. Macy had told her all about the band.
“Because—” Luke hesitated. “He’s like the mayor of Loup Garou. Only more powerful than a mayor. He’s our leader.”
Something didn’t ring quite true, maybe because his words made no sense to her.
“Don’t worry about it. Let the guys in charge handle all the crap. I don’t want to have any secrets from you.”
Maybe that meant he was through lying to her.
“You need to know what’s going on here. The feds want to talk to Libby, and they want her to have an exam.” The half-moon hung low in the sky, splashing yellow onto the surface of the lake. Luke squirmed until he sat next to her again, and draped his arm over her shoulders. Pulled her close.
She snuggled. He was as warm as a bonfire in the chill autumn night. Despite all the stuff he’d talked about, there was something peaceful about sitting beside the water and watching the moon drift across the sky. Something safe and secure, two feelings she’d lost when her father died and her mother remarried. She rested her head on Luke’s chest. The steady thump of his heart beneath her ear was reassuring.
“So, do you want a boy or girl?” Luke asked.
“I still haven’t thought about it,” Abby said. “Everything has happened so fast.”
“I’d like a girl. One who looks like you.”
She and Luke both had blond hair and blue eyes. Their child would, too.
“How many children do you want?” Abby asked.
“Huh? Only one.”
“Oh.” She used to dream of having a big, jolly family.
“I mean, it’s not as if we’re staying together after the baby is born.”
If he’d slapped her, she couldn’t be more surprised. She pulled away from him. Clambered to her feet. “I’m ready to go back.”
“Wait a minute,” Luke said. “You didn’t think this was going to be a real—that this was anything other than—”
She walked away from him, willing her tears to stay put, forcing her sobs to stay swallowed, ignoring the twisting pain in her heart. He’d been kind because he pitied her. Because he wanted something from her. Cooperation. Like the rest of his family, the entirety of his community, all he cared about was the baby. She was merely the incubator.
“Abby, wait up.” Luke’s boots crunched on the stones. He caught her arm. “Hey. I’m waiting for my . . . soul mate. And you should want to meet yours, too. You deserve unconditional love.”
Like her parents. Funny. She’d hoped she’d find that with Luke. Guess not. At least she knew where she stood.
“Come on, Abby. Talk to me.”
“I wanted to get out of Gary’s house. You helped me accomplish that. I’m grateful. So, thanks.” She hoped Luke didn’t hear the tremor in her voice. “I’m tired. My back hurts again.” She opened the truck door, and Luke grabbed her around her waist and lifted her into the cab.
“Again?” he asked. “What happened, anyway, to get Granny’s panties in a wad?”
“I started bleeding the morning you left. Your grandmother thinks you were a little too enthusiastic about being married.” Well, that wasn’t going to be a problem in the future.
“How bad was it?” He touched her knee.
She stared out the windshield. “Enough to scare your mom and dad when they came to take me to your grandmother’s house. Which is where I’d like to go now.”
Luke sighed. “Abby, please don’t do this. Don’t be mad, and don’t be hurt. You don’t love me, but that doesn’t mean you need to be so cold to me. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.”
Too late.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She sealed off the outer world. She was so good at doing that, it was second nature now. She went to the secret place, where Gary and his camera couldn’t reach her soul. Now she had a door marked for Luke, too.
“I want us to be a married couple while we’re still married to each other.”
“I chose you to be my first lover because you’re in an almost famous band, and I wanted to lose my virginity on my terms, not Gary’s. Gary’s terms included an exchange of money from some pervert he contracted with on line. You were a better choice. That’s all. And now it’s done. You made your decision, and I’ve made mine. You’d better get your grandmother’s blanket. She might not like it if you leave it here.”
Luke uttered an unintelligible curse, then stalked back to the beach.
She watched him in the side mirror, anger bristling from him in almost visible waves. He stood at the edge of the lake a moment, a dark, lonely silhouette. He stooped, and she thought he was retrieving the blanket, but instead, he picked up a stone and sent it skipping across the surface of the water, shattering the reflection of the moon.
Chapter 14
Luke dropped Abby at Granny’s house, then drove to his cabin. Work was moving along fairly quickly on the addition. Moonlight peered through the studs of the new rooms and cast weird, elongated shadows. He couldn’t imagine how his home would change with the extra space, the extra people. Maybe he shouldn’t have agreed to the housing council’s proposal. Abby—and her sister—were temporary. The baby could live with his folks—his lifestyle wasn’t conducive to raising a kid, what with being on tour with the band and all.
Oh, who was he trying to fool? He wanted this baby and for the time being he wanted its mother. He couldn’t reconcile forced wife with life mate. But every time he got near Abby, he got hard. His human side was reacting to having experienced sex with her. All of his will power had been focused on not nuzzling her neck while they sat on the lakeshore. Not cupping her breast in his palm and using his thumb on her nipple.
He reminded himself his reaction was because the only way he knew how to relate to women was sexually. All those honky-tonk angels and backseats in the parking lots of country roadhouses and taverns in this part of the country had him as well trained as one of Pavlov’s dogs.
He kicked a stone in his driveway. Tried to envision living with Abby, her sister, and a baby. The equation didn’t add up for him. Abby would be safest at his grandmother’s house, but when he moved back to his cabin, he wanted her with him. He was going to be spending some long nights tangled in the web, thanks to his new government gig.
Abby lay in bed and stared at the ceiling. It was a nice ceiling, of tongue-and-grove wood the color of honey. And there wasn’t a speck of dust or a cobweb to be seen. Granny kept her house spotless.
Abby swallowed. Hard. Maybe she was crazy, but she missed Luke. She’d been missing him since the night of the picnic, but tonight, after he laid everything out for her, she missed him even more.
And it was okay. She knew his truth now. She knew he would be kind to her, mostly out of pity, but he would never physically hurt her or the baby. After the baby was born, she would take it and Libby back to the little house on Silver Moon Terrace. She would purge the familiar rooms of Gary’s miasma and the lingering bad juju of her mother’s illness and death. She’d make a home for her sister and her child. Luke would always be welcome—anyone from his family would always be welcome. They’d been kind to her and Libby when they didn’t have to be.
And Luke would pay child support. He was responsible. He might be a jerk at times, but he was responsible. So she’d have some money coming in. And the house was paid for. But there were things like taxes, insurance, electricity, and food. Hopefully the supermarket would hire her soon.
But then what would she do with the baby all day?
Oh well, she didn’t have to figure out the rest of her life—again—tonight. She still had a few months.
“Granny, she was out of bed for a while two nights ago, and she’s fine.” Luke leaned against the kitchen counter and scowled at his grandmother. “We need Abby to be at her stepfather’s funeral.”
Granny scowled back. “I’m the midwife here.”
“So you know she’s been fine. Maybe I was too sorry to be leaving her before.” He was even sorrier his grandmother wanted to banish him from Abby’s bed. He liked sleeping curled around her. Liked waking up and smelling her warm and safe in his arms. “Why don’t you come to the funeral with us?”
The FBI figured whoever killed Gary would show up at the funeral and had flown in several agents. The entire event, from calling hours until the last shovelful of dirt tossed onto the coffin would be recorded. Luke and his family were to play bodyguards to Abby and Libby. Abby could use as many friendly faces as Luke could gather.
Gary had no one else. His employment records listed Tina Grant Porter—who had died only days before his murder—as his next of kin. That left Abby and Libby.
“Did he have any family?” Luke had asked, as per his instructions from the FBI.
“I don’t know,” Abby said.
“Who’s this Uncle Dougie Libby keeps mentioning?”
“We don’t have an Uncle Dougie,” Abby said. “Mama and I figured he was an imaginary relative, because we were so family poor. And since Gary stopped Libby’s medications, she has had more issues than usual.”
“Medications?”
“She was diagnosed with ADHD. Among other things. And she was doing well with
medication mixed with behavior tactics. After a year, Gary decided she didn’t need the pills.”
Another reason to be glad Gary was dead.
“What if Uncle Dougie isn’t an imaginary friend?” Luke asked, and tension reshaped Abby’s features.
“Are you saying he could be a friend of Gary’s? A cohort? That Gary got to Libby despite everything I did?”
Luke crushed Abby to his chest. “It isn’t your fault. You’re a survivor, and you did what you had to do to survive.” He’d been coached by the feds on what to say to Abby. To stop calling her a victim. To remind her she had survived.
Abby pushed him away. “Stop treating me as if I don’t have a brain in my head,” she snapped. “What you’re saying is we don’t know if Gary did exploit Libby. And the only way to find out is to talk to Libby.”
“Maybe you should talk to the counselor,” Luke suggested. “They say there are signs—”
“And I might have missed them because I was caught in my own hell, and Mama was too sick to know the difference.” A knot in Abby’s jaw twitched. “I only know what I want to know, and that is Libby escaped.”
Luke nodded.
Tears filled Abby’s eyes, and he thought the liquid had been wrung straight from his heart. She was so brave, his Abby. So strong. A survivor.
“After Gary’s burial. Do we have to have a big deal about a funeral?”
Luke nodded again. “The Feds want to tape everything. It’s standard operating procedure.”
So Abby put on her dark clothes—only because she didn’t own any sparkly party clothes she informed Luke—and had Libby do the same.
