He caught himself thinking that he didn't care what Owen felt or if he liked it or not, and he had to repent of those feelings, knowing he would regret them once he got home and was face-to-face with his brother. It killed him, but he knew it was best for everybody if he just went back Memphis and resumed his life as it was before he met Courtney.
Courtney stayed in the main area with the rest of them for a little while before excusing herself to take a shower. Daniel assumed she would come back out before he left for the airport, but she stayed in her room for the next two hours. He knew there was a driver on his way to pick him up, but he didn't feel like he could leave without telling her goodbye.
Trevor and Denise were both still sitting in the living room, and Daniel didn't really care what they thought about it when he said, "I've got to go downstairs in a few minutes, so I'm going to knock on Courtney's door to tell her goodbye."
"I'll see what she's doing," Denise said, standing up to take charge of the situation. She crossed to Courtney's door and gave it a few light knocks.
"Yeah?"
Daniel was standing close enough that he could hear her muffled voice through the door, and his heart ached to be next to her.
"Daniel is on his way to the airport," Denise said speaking towards the edge of the closed door. "He wanted to say goodbye." Denise turned and gave Daniel a little smirk and shrug as if she had no idea how Courtney would respond to this proposition.
"I thought he already left," he heard Courtney say from the other side of the door.
Denise stared at Daniel. "He's about to. He's standing right here."
There was a long silence, after which Courtney said, "You can let him come in."
Denise moved to the side, and Daniel stepped in front of her, opening the door slowly and cautiously. He expected Courtney to be up and around, and he was surprised to find her in bed with the covers pulled up to her chin. She was on her side staring toward the window, and he walked over there to sit beside her. He perched on the edge of the bed near her legs, feeling heartbroken that she wouldn't look at him.
"Are you feeling okay?" he asked.
"Not really," she said.
He reached out and rubbed the back of her legs in a comforting manner. She was under the covers, so he could barely feel her, but he had to touch her one last time. "Denise said she has a prescription for your stomach," he said.
"I'm fine. I'll ask her for it if I need it."
"I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye," he said.
"Okay," she said, still staring blankly at the wall.
He rubbed her legs again. He could see that she didn't want to talk to him, but he couldn't just leave things this way. He had to say something sincere.
"Courtney, I had a really good time with you."
"Thanks," she said without taking her head off the pillow or looking at him.
Several seconds passed where Daniel tried to convince himself that he should just stand up and walk out, but he couldn't do it.
"I didn't know Trevor was going to be here this morning," he said. "I was just as surprised as you were when he walked in."
"I'm glad he feels better," she said. "It's good to have him back."
"Then why are you upset?"
"I'm not upset," she said. "These are my normal stomach issues. It happens every time I'm on tour, especially toward the end like this. I just have to lay here and rest until it's time to go to the venue."
"Would you let me pray for you?" he asked.
"If you want," she said, still not looking at him.
Daniel scooted up, positioning himself where he was sitting next to her waist. He turned to put his hand on her back, realizing that she had closed her eyes. He kept his eyes open, watching her as he began to pray.
"Father, You created Courtney. You formed her with Your own hands. You love her, and You know exactly what's going on in her body." Daniel paused when he saw tears begin to stream out of the corners of her closed eyes. "Please, Lord, help her. Touch her body. Give her strength to finish this road trip. You are the Great Physician. You are the Almighty God. Touch her and help her complete the job she has started. Give her wellness, and help her to know how very much she is loved. It's in Jesus's name we pray, Amen."
Courtney kept her eyes closed, but Daniel watched as tears streamed off of her face and fell onto the pillow. He reached up and put a loving hand on the back of her head.
"Thank you," she whispered.
"I'm sorry you don't feel well."
"It's fine," she said. "I just have two more shows."
"My driver is on his way," Daniel said.
"I know."
"I wish you would look at me," he said, staring at her precious face as he stroked her hair.
She kept her eyes closed.
"Courtney," he whispered, feeling desperate to see her beautiful blue eyes again.
"What?"
"Won't you look at me?"
She didn't.
She just stayed there with her eyes closed.
He stared at her, wishing there was something more he could do. "I was driving that motorcycle," he said, speaking slowly and softly. "I was the one who wrecked it. I took my dad's motorcycle without permission, and I talked Owen into coming with me. Owen's life is changed forever, and it's nobody's fault but mine." Daniel continued to gently rub Courtney's head. She was so precious to him, and she didn't even know it.
"I knew about your accident," she said in a small voice. "Your little sister told me."
Daniel wasn't quite sure what to think about that. Part of him was angry that she knew all along and hadn't said anything, and the other part of him was relieved that she knew about it and still felt compelled to get to know him.
"So, you understand why I can't live my life like normal," he said. "It wouldn't be fair to Owen."
Courtney opened her eyes, looking at him and flooding him with relief. "Do you think it's fair to Owen for you to punish yourself for the rest of your life? Do you think Owen likes to see his brother punish himself on his account?"
Daniel hadn't thought of it that way. "Owen doesn't see it that way," he said. "He has no idea."
"You don't think so?" she asked.
"No, I don't," Daniel said. "It's not like I made a big statement telling him what I'm doing or why. He thinks I'm just living my life."
"All right then, I guess you know what you're doing," she said with a sad smile.
Daniel rubbed her head again, touching the side of her beautiful face as she closed her tear-filled eyes. She was like an exquisite porcelain doll, and he knew he would never get past the guilt if he let himself enjoy such a beautiful prize in life. It made him sick to leave her, but he knew he had to do it.
"Courtney, I want you to know that I will never forget what happened last night. It was a moment of pure magic in my life, and I will lock that memory in my heart and hang onto it forever."
Tears streamed out of her eyes again, but she remained still and said nothing.
"Please know how special you are." He stared at her, wishing she would look at him.
"You better go," she said. "I have that phone interview in just a little while, and I have to get up and get my brain straight for that."
He let out a sigh. "Okay," he said. He stood up to leave her but he couldn't bear to do it. He leaned down and placed a lingering kiss on the side of her forehead.
Earlier, when she had been crying, her face hadn't moved at all, there were just wet tears running out of her eyes with no change of facial expression. But this time, when Daniel leaned down to kiss her, her face crumpled with tears like it caused her pain.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
She shook her head. "Just go."
Daniel stood up, turned around, and left the room without another word. He spoke with Denise and Trevor on his way out, and then he spoke with the driver on the way to the airport, but it was like he was in a dream—a nightmare. He had experienced the pain of guilt and heartache
for most of his life, but he had never loved a woman the way he loved Courtney, and the pain of finding her and then losing her was almost unbearable.
***
In the days that followed, Daniel was in a terrible mood. Everyone at Alpha assumed he was cross for having to fill in for Trevor, and he just let them believe that. He threw himself into training because the only relief he could find was when he worked his body to the point of physical exhaustion.
He was so sick over it that he ignored phone calls from his family until his mother finally got worried enough to knock on his door and check on him. Ivy came with her, and she was really curious about his time with Courtney, so she asked him what must have been a hundred questions about their time together.
Daniel was obviously not in the mood for such questions, and the two women left his house assuming that he developed feelings for the pop singer. He didn't really care what they thought; he just wanted to get through enough days until the memory of Courtney faded and he could get back to his life.
Daniel was in a grocery store doing some much-needed shopping when he experienced something utterly amazing. He was in the milk aisle, trying to decide whether he should get two-percent or whole when he heard an audible voice say, "Daniel, go to Dallas."
His head whipped around, and he stared at the lady next to him who was holding a container of yogurt. It was a man's voice that he had heard, and she was clearly a lady, but she was the only other person nearby.
"Excuse me?" he asked.
She smiled curiously at him.
"What did you say?" he asked.
She put a hand to her chest. "Me? I didn't say anything."
The words we're clearly audible and someone had said them plain as day, but this lady regarded Daniel with a look of surprise and confusion.
"Did you say something about Dallas?" he asked.
She shook her head. "No. I didn't say anything," she said innocently.
"Did you hear someone say 'go to Dallas'?" He asked.
"Nooo," she said with a wide-eyed expression. "I definitely didn't hear that."
Daniel looked over his shoulder in the other direction, making sure that they were alone on the aisle. He was tired from a long day at work, but he had no doubt about what he heard. The words were clear, unmistakable, and spoken out loud.
"Did a man's voice come over the intercom?" he asked.
The lady had looked away, but she looked at him again. "Just now, you mean? While we were standing here?"
He nodded.
"Not that I heard." She pointed upward. "I think it's just been playing music."
"And you didn't hear anyone say anything?"
She shook her head, looking perplexed and maybe even starting to look a little wary.
Daniel smiled, doing his best to appear sane and act as if he wasn't hearing things.
"Thanks," he said. "Must have been my phone."
Daniel paid for his groceries while doing his best to appear unrattled, but he knew what he heard, and he couldn’t get it out of his mind. He tried to remember if anyone he knew had ever heard from God in a clear voice. His family had experienced different things like dreams or feelings, but he couldn’t think of a single example of someone who had heard God speak audibly.
For a minute, Daniel tried to convince himself that he was just hearing what he wanted to hear. He knew Courtney was in Dallas and he told himself his mind was playing tricks on him.
But he knew that wasn't the truth. He knew in his heart what he had heard. He knew it was a real voice. He left the store, knowing that he was about to pack his bags and leave for Dallas.
Chapter 12
Courtney
Dallas, TX
I collapsed into Trevor's arms the instant I sang the final note and stepped backstage. It was my last show on the tour, and I had given the performance literally everything I had in me.
I waved and smiled at the crowd on my way off the stage, and the next thing I knew, I was falling. I was vaguely aware of people hustling around and talking about whether or not I needed to go to a hospital or if I could just get by with having a doctor come to my hotel room. I didn't care for hospitals, so I made a real effort to respond to the questions in such a way that let them know I was okay and didn't need to go to one.
We got into the back of a car, and I listened to Denise's phone conversation in which she made arrangements for a doctor to meet us at the hotel. I heard her talking to my publicist, Gina, on the phone before telling Trevor that it was better if we could take care of this at the hotel rather than at a hospital.
I had experienced all of these physical symptoms before, so I told myself I'd be okay, but it never got easy to feel weak, dizzy, and nauseous. I was completely out of it and just had to trust that the doctor would be able to make me feel better.
I remember bits and pieces of the car ride and the trip into the hotel and up the elevator. I walked on my own because I knew if I would have asked Trevor to carry me like I wanted him to, they would have brought me to the hospital.
We had a doctor come to my room a few times in the past, so Denise knew exactly what to tell them. She mentioned more than once that I was dehydrated and needed fluids.
Thankfully, he was already waiting in the room when we got there. He was dressed in plain clothes and he introduced himself as Dr. Thomas. I answered his questions, and before I knew it, I was stretched out on my bed with an IV attached to my arm.
Dr. Thomas had a kind, quiet bedside manner, and I trusted him to do what he could to help me feel better. Denise worked at taking my shoes off, taking my hair down, and making me more comfortable.
The next few hours passed in a dreamy haze.
The last thing I remembered before dozing off was Dr. Thomas telling me he would be in the next room if I needed anything.
It was one o'clock in the morning when I glanced at the clock and realized that I might just live to see another day. I glanced at the IV bag, which was almost empty. I watched it dripping slowly, feeling thankful for whatever it was putting into my body.
I realized I could hear voices in the other room.
It sounded like they were agitated.
I looked around my room, noticing that I was alone. I listened closely, trying to hear what the voices were saying—wondering what anyone could possibly be arguing about.
"He cares about her," a man's voice said. (I thought it was Trevor, but I couldn't be sure.) "He's not gonna bother her. He just wants to stay in here with us."
"It's really nice that he cares about her," I heard Denise say. "But it's one o'clock in the morning. Tell him he can get a room and come by in the morning. She's in no shape for visitors right now."
"He's standing at the door," Trevor said. "What am I supposed to tell him?"
"Tell him to get a room," Denise said. "We've got our hands full in here."
I realized it was Trevor and Denise arguing, and I tried my hardest to figure out what they were concerned about. I tilted my head toward the door as I listened closely. I wondered if they might be talking about the doctor.
"I like him and everything, Trevor, but tonight's not the night for Court to have visitors. We're about to go to bed, anyway. He can come back in the morning if he wants to see her."
"Denise, all he wants to do is sit out here in a chair. He's not hurting anything. He cares about her. He came all the way from Memphis to see her."
My heart started pounding the instant I heard the word Memphis.
"Who?" I yelled.
My mouth was incredibly dry and my voice barely came out, so I yelled again.
"Who's here?"
Seconds later, I saw my door crack open. Denise came in with an apologetic look on her face—I could see her clearly because the light in my bathroom was on.
"Did we wake you up?" she asked regretfully. "I'm so sorry if we did."
"Who's here?"
"Trevor's been talking to the other guy from Alpha, Daniel. He said he came over here to—"
"Where is he?" I asked cutting her off. "Where's Daniel? Is he here?"
"He's not in the room or anything. It's just Trevor and me. Dr. Thomas went downstairs to get some coffee. How are you feeling?"
"I want Daniel," I said.
I knew I should probably say something more eloquent, but I was still exhausted, and the simple truth was the only thing I could think to say.
Denise looked at me like she was a little confused.
"Please get Daniel," I said. "I want him in here with me right now."
Denise still looked a bit skeptical as she turned around and headed for the door. I heard her say something to Trevor and then I heard some other noises including footsteps and the sound of a door opening.
And within seconds, I saw Daniel step into the room. Instantly, my eyes flooded with relieved tears. I felt so overwhelmed with joy that I held out my arms, inviting Daniel to hug me from his position all the way on the other side of the room.
I watched as Daniel crossed the room with a determined look on his face. He didn't stop until he took me into his arms. He sat on the edge of my bed and leaned over me, wrapping himself around me like a glorious, protective shield.
He held me tightly for several long seconds before he pulled back just far enough to put a kiss on the side of my face. He did it two or three more times, kissing my cheek and hairline with as much relief and happiness as I was feeling.
"I'm sorry," he whispered in my ear. "I'm sorry I wasn't here with you."
My eyes were blurry with tears, but I could see that Denise and Trevor were both standing in the doorway, watching us with great curiosity. I didn't have the strength to explain what was going on or even care what they were thinking. I focused on Daniel, taking his handsome face in my hands and telling myself I was not dreaming and that he was actually sitting there.
"You came," I whispered. "You're here."
He smiled at me and reached up to smooth my hair. I saw him glance at my arm, and then follow the IV line up to the bag of fluid. "I'm so sorry you got sick," he said.
So Happy Together (Bishop Family Book 4) Page 8
