by Gabi Moore
“I meant it when I said I needed something more substantial,” I said.
He took his time taking a deep breath in and releasing it.
“You know, I’m changing my mind about a lot of things lately. I used to think kids were a drag. An obligation. Something you did by accident or because your woman pushed you into it…”
I winced a little to hear him say that.
“I know, I’m an asshole. Or I was one. I used to laugh at men who settled down and made babies. Like they were the biggest fools, missing out on life like that, coughing up money for a bunch of rug rats and a wife who always seemed to hate him just a little.”
“Jesus, David.”
“I know. I know how it sounds. I used to get mad just thinking about it, actually.”
“About… women and their kids?” I asked, a little bewildered.
“Well, yeah. When I saw a team member’s wife or something, I always pitied him a little. It looked to me like a raw deal, like I couldn’t understand why a guy who had everything figured out would want to throw it away on some stay at home wife and a bunch of kids.”
I held my tongue. I hated hearing him speak like this, but I didn’t know what to say.
“The thing is, I think I finally realized that the problem was me.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I guess I just never thought I was up to the task. I couldn’t imagine being responsible for another person like that. A wife and kids? That just seemed like the hugest responsibility. And I could barely imagine giving that much of a shit even about myself.”
“David, woah, nobody’s asking you to give a shit about—”
“I know, I know. But maybe I want to give a shit. Maybe I’m tired of not giving a shit.”
“You sure have a romantic way with words,” I laughed. He laughed with me, but he pressed on.
“I’m serious though, Ally. You showed me that. Ben and Alex showed me that.”
“David?”
“Yeah?”
“Can you take it down a notch? You’re freaking me out,” I teased.
Here he laughed with me and gave me a squeeze.
“I’m sorry, you’re right. The last thing you need in your life is more seriousness.”
“Exactly.”
“I know what you do need though,” he said and gave me a naughty look.”
“Oh my god, don’t start with that again, we have to leave soon,” I said and blushed. He gave me a playful peck on the cheek, helped me up and we went to the bedroom to freshen up.
“They’ll love you, this is going to be great, trust me,” he said and pulled his shirt back over his head.
“Remind me who they all are again,” I said.
“Ok, so there’s Max, you’ve already met his girlfriend, he’s cool, very solid guy, knows way more than the rest of us when it comes to artillery. And then there’s Jack, the old guy of our team, he’s the one I told you came back and then a few weeks later his wife passed away from cancer. Then there’s Hugo, that’s Max’s brother. They’re identical twins actually, but you can always spot Hugo since he’ll be the one macking on anything wearing a skirt and Max will be the one giving him a side eye for it. Then there’s Noah, he and I have had our differences over the years but he’s a good guy. Smart,” he said. “And that’s about it I think.”
I nodded and tried to keep track of the names. I half expected to turn up and see a bunch of intimidating GI Joes in fatigues or something. Never having met any other servicemen besides David, I had no idea what to expect. I fixed my hair, spritzed on some perfume and did my best to look pretty.
“By the way,” I said as we left the house together. “I don’t know what you did, but Andrew has backed off completely. I haven’t heard from him in days and neither have the kids.”
“Oh really?” he said as he started the ignition and we pulled off. I searched his face.
“Thank you, David. I mean, I don’t want to hear about it, but thank you.”
“You don’t want to hear about it?” he laughed.
“No way. I hate to think of what you did to get him to leave us alone.”
He smiled mysteriously.
“Oh, you’d be surprised,” he said.
We arrived at the barbecue and he made a big show of grabbing my hand and pulling me in to present me to the crowd of people who’d already arrived before us.
I felt proud, at his side. Like I was showing him off as much as he was showing me off. If anyone thought I was a nasty cradle-snatcher, they didn’t let on one bit. When I found Kate in the kitchen, resplendent in a skin tight dress the likes of which a TV weather lady would wear, I felt relief as she rushed over, clasped my hands and introduced me to everyone. A drink was put in my hand and, to my relief, the afternoon simply flowed from there.
The sense of brotherhood and camaraderie between the men was touching. Though they were all so different from one another, they talked to one another with the familiarity of siblings. They were so different from what I imagined SEALs to be like. Sure, they were all pretty macho looking and the crude jokes flew thick and fast, but there was a sweet, hidden sense of friendship under all that, like something stronger was holding them all together.
Chapter 16 - David
“Okay, boys… come and look here a minute, see how I’m holding it?” I said and showed Ben and Alex the angle I was holding the saw at against the plank of wood. They nodded and watched with close attention.
“Can you guess why I do it this way, and not some other way?” I said.
“So you don’t cut your fingers!” Ben yelled.
“Exactly. If I do it this way, when the piece falls off, it falls away from me, and not towards me. See? Isn’t that clever?”
They were both on their haunches, paying close attention to this part of the treehouse making process. I was astounded how such young children could stay so focused on a task for so long. They had a bajillion questions. How many types of wood were there? Could we put a pool in the tree house? What’s a buttress? Which screwdriver is the star one?
Also to my surprise, I didn’t tire of teaching them, finding that even the most mundane things like sawing a plank or hammering it to another plank, suddenly became interesting again. They ate up every word and begged me to have a go with the saw after I made them promise they’d be careful.
“What else can you build, Dave? A car?”
I laughed.
“Yeah, maybe. A simple one.”
“Really? Wow. What about a plane?” Alex said.
“Boys,” I said, “you can build whatever you like. You just need to get the right tools, the right materials, and you need to know what goes where. That’s all there is to it.” I stood back to admire the frame we’d constructed together that afternoon. They seemed so pleased with themselves.
“No grown ups will be allowed inside though, I’m afraid,” Alex said.
“No?”
“Nope. Kids only.”
“That’s cool,” I said. “Do you have some friends at school who’d like to come over and play?”
They exchanged looks.
“We should invite Ali,” Ben said, more to his brother than to me.
“Ali?”
Alex sighed and stepped in to explain.
“Ali gets picked on at school a lot. But we’re gonna be his friend,” he said matter-of-factly.
“I see…” I said slowly.
‘Just because someone is different from you, doesn’t mean they can’t be your friend,” Ben said and twiddled some nails in his small fingers.
“Oh yeah? Who told you that, your mom?” I said.
“No. She doesn’t have to, we knew it already,” Ben said.
I gave both of them a strange look but they paid me no attention, so I smiled and carried on with the work at hand.
“Hey David, I’m gonna get a tattoo like you,” Ben said.
“What? No way, buddy. Your mom will kill you.”
“But I c
an when I’m older. I want a fish just like yours.”
“Aw, come on. Why would you want to look like me?”
“Cause it’s cool,” they said, giggling.
“Well, tell your mom and see how cool she thinks it is,” I said.
“Nah, mom’s boring,” Alex said. “She’s always too tired to do anything fun with us ever.”
“Hey, now that’s not true! Your mom’s the coolest person I know.”
“Really?”
“Oh yeah, she’s the best,” I said, and on cue she walked out of the house with a tray and three tall, orange colored drinks balanced on it. Where it not for the fact that I was thinking of throwing her sweet ass over the kitchen counter and fucking her senseless right now, this would be the perfect scene from out a 50s sitcom.
“In fact, if you ask your mom nicely, I’m sure she’ll let us have a fire out here tonight to celebrate your new tree house.” The kids’ eyes went wide and they raced over to her to talk over one another. They ran circles around her as she walked over and placed the tray down, then gave me a cute look.
“A bonfire, huh, David?” she said, eyeing me up and down. I knew that look anywhere. I knew what she wanted, and I knew exactly how to give it to her. But there was no need to rush.
I nodded and set the hammer aside, secretly gesturing to her to say yes.
“Okay,” she said with hesitation. “Sure, we can have a bonfire, why not.”
The kids squealed and bounded off after each other, entertaining themselves with the scrap wood.
I took a slow, easy step towards her. We made a point of not making out in front of the kids, but there were certainly no rules against eye-fucking.
“Hey, gorgeous. I bought you something special this morning. I’ve left it upstairs in your room,” I whispered to her, and she blushed hard.
“Another one?
“This one’s really sexy though.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah,” I said, then lowered my voice even further. “I want to fuck you while you’re wearing it.”
Her face flashed a deep shade of red as she struggled to hide her smile.
“David, I’m running out of space to put all this slutty lingerie you buy me,” she said and took an innocent sip of her drink.
“Yeah? Well, you’ll be glad to know it’s not just lingerie this time.”
She shot me a concerned look.
“What is it?” she said.
“Oh… think of it more like a gift for me…”
God she had such a naughty face sometimes. I could see the cogs turning behind her eyes.
“Is it a…?” she said.
“Oh yes. A big one,” I said.
“What? No way. You’re just teasing me.”
“Nope. I wasn’t playing around the last time I suggested it.”
“You went and bought a huge dildo? Really? I don’t believe you.”
“You soon will,” I said and gave her a cheeky smile. She couldn’t suppress a laugh. I leant in super close, close enough to hear her breath, and watched as she watched the kids playing off in the distance.
“I want to see you fuck yourself with it. You know how I love watching you come,” I murmured.
I loved that moment of tension between us. The moment when some invisible lines are crossed and playful flirting kicks up a gear into something a little more serious. I was learning that the best part of sex with Ally was all the stuff that happened when I wasn’t balls-deep in her and seconds from exploding. I mean, that was pretty good too, obviously, but with Ally, it was all about the play. The teasing anticipation, both of us allowing something delicious build over the course of hours, or days.
I teased her like this all through the next few hours. Though we had dinner with the boys and set up some chairs outside so we could admire the tree house, the entire time my focus was on her. And I let her know it. She thought I didn’t notice but I could tell she was bending over like that for my benefit, showing a bit of leg here, a bit of cleavage there. She gave as good as she got, and when I stole a moment to corner her in the kitchen or when the boys were out of earshot, she was ready to come right back with some juicy banter of her own.
So this was it. This was how people did this whole kids thing. The kids are there, taking up all your time and energy. But on another, hidden channel, all my attention was for their mother and her alone. I was beginning to imagine that being a dad to anyone wasn’t the life sentence I imagined it to be. It was more like a bonus. The way she flipped from being dirty sex goddess to attentive mom and back again in 2 seconds flat was inspiring. I can’t explain it, but quietly, I began to imagine that one day we could make a baby, too. It was just a small, strange little fantasy in the back of my mind. But it was there. I’d come inside her dozens of times already, but something weird and primal in me wanted to do it for real one day, to fill her up, to… I cut my thoughts off there.
We set up the fire together after dinner.
“The bottom of the flames need oxygen, Alex. You have to blow on it boys,” I said, a watchful eye on them as they did what every young boy loves doing: messing around with fire. Ally got up from her chair, knelt at the pile of logs and began blowing at the flames. They quivered and licked over the kindling, then began to grow taller, spreading a golden yellow light over all of us.
“There we go. Like that. Your mom sure knows how to blow on wood you know. She’s an expert.”
Naturally we locked eyes and she half smiled at me, lips still in a pucker to, uh, blow on the wood.
“Hey boys, I have an idea,” I said, “why don’t we fetch all those old books in the spare room and put them on the fire? It’ll save your mom having to take them to get recycled.”
Both kids looked like I had just suggested ice cream for dinner. They turned to her.
“But can we, mom? Isn’t it against the rules to burn books?” Ben said.
“Oh, don’t worry buddy, even your mom breaks the rules sometimes,” I said. Ally flashed me a secret smile and then nodded to them. They both ran inside. I couldn’t help but dive in for a sneaky grope before they came back. I had been admiring that amazing ass of hers and my hands had been dying for a handful all evening. I kissed her long and deep and her tongue found mine easily.
“Are you wearing any underwear right now?” I breathed. The look on her face told me everything. I groaned and kissed her again. Fuck I wanted her. But I took a deep breath and pulled back again, gazing into her beautiful eyes.
“You okay?” I said.
We had spoken about getting rid of them before. The moment felt right now but her suddenly serious demeanor gave me pause.
“We don’t need that crap in our lives, do we?” she said.
“Nope.”
She nodded, a faraway look on her pretty face. Firelight suited her.
“You sure you’re okay? We don’t have to do it.”
“Oh, we do have to do it. I want to,” she said, then brought her gaze back to earth and smiled warmly at me. I grabbed her close for a hug and held her tightly, smelling her hair and feeling her breath against me.
“Ew, you guys… gross!”
We both turned to see little Ben marching out the back door with some books in his hands. He shook his head at us but he was smiling broadly.
I pulled away from Ally and gave her a playful slap on her ass.
“I know, right? I tell your mom to stop trying to hug me all the time but she won’t listen,” I said and gave her a wink. Ben set the books down beside the fire and gave us both a quizzical look.
“I know. She does that to me too,” he said at last, and I couldn’t help but chuckle.
The novelty of burning books was soon fading so next we spent some time toasting marshmallows. The boys were tired soon after that and so I sat outside, alone, while Ally went inside to make sure they brushed their teeth and put them to bed. When she returned to the fire around twenty minutes later, we exchanged a glance that immediately changed everythi
ng.
She blushed and came over to sit on my lap, then, wordlessly, we both fell into a soft, full kiss. I let my fingers sink into her hair and stroke her scalp, angling her head so I could kiss her more deeply. Every part of me relished touching every part of her. She was like a wonderland of scent, of smooth skin, of muttered giggles and moans that all together took drove me wild. Our fingertips held a little conversation of their own as our tongues played over one another, wet, hungry mouths taking turns to chase, to tease, to devour. I loved the weight of her breasts against me, loved the feeling of her hot breath on my neck.
We kissed for ages. The night wore on and every time the fire’s intensity dipped, one of us would throw in a few more books and watch as their pages curled up and eventually disappeared in the flames. It was strangely hypnotizing to watch those printed pages, those hateful words just go up in smoke, literally. Ally went quiet and I knew the gesture meant a lot to her. But it meant something to me, too. I wanted to burn every part in me that was violent and intolerant. I would never have told a soul what was in my heart then as we kissed and then stared and then kissed again, but right then I wanted to purify myself till I was someone worthy of Ally, worthy of those two little scoundrels. At last, the final book went onto the fire and we watched as the light gradually faded and the flames consumed their last bit of fuel. We suddenly became aware of just how cold it actually was out here. I must have been well past midnight when the last of the fire sputtered out and I looked into her eyes, the taste of her still on my lips.
“Right. I’ve had just about enough of this, I think it’s time I took you inside,” I said, swooped to put my hands under her knees and gathered her up in my arms. When she was all sleepy and giggly like this, and when she had that adoring look in her eyes, I swear it brought out something truly animal in me. But I was going to be restrained tonight. I had an evening planned, and it was going to be all about her.
She linked her arms round my neck as I carried her, fireman style, upstairs to the bedroom, then placed her gently on the bed.
“Wait here a second for me,” I said and ducked off to fetch something I’d hidden the day before. She gave me a slightly tipsy look as I waltzed back into the room with a discreet looking black box in my hands.
