by Gordon, Rose
Frowning, Allison pulled his hand away. If he thought to imply that she’d spoken irrationally or without thought and would change her mind, it would be best to make herself clear right now. “Wes, while I’m hoping that was your way of apologizing for calling me a whore, that wasn’t exactly what I wanted to say.”
“Then why don’t you come for a ride with me and explain?”
Temporary paralysis took hold of Allison again. Even after everything that had happened and all they’d said to each other yesterday, he still wanted to spend time with her?
***
Wes held his breath in anticipation. He hadn’t meant to invite her to ride with him. He still needed time to think of what he’d do next. To his mind, he still had almost two full weeks before the arrival of Mr. Perfect and Wealthy.
“A-all right. I’ll go.”
He was just about to reach for her clothes when her gasp rent the air and made him freeze.
“Where did that come from?”
Wes’ eyes flew to the leather pouch he’d found. Swallowing, he said. “I found it.” That was true enough.
She nodded mutely. “Where.”
“On the ground.”
She didn’t say anything about his evasive sarcasm, just stared at him and swallowed uncomfortably. “How long have you had it?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. A while.”
“Did you...um...did you read what was in there?”
Relieved she hadn’t pressed him for more details on how he found it, he shook his head. “No. Not really.”
“Not really?”
He shrugged. “I read two lines of one and had to stop reading before I got a stomachache from all of Nicholas’ sugary sweetness.”
Her face blushed. A beautiful sight to behold; how unfortunate it was because he’d mentioned her former suitor.
“You can reread them all when we get back. But if you wish to go with me, you’ll need to dress now.” He picked up her clothes and laid them on the bed next to her. “Do you need any help?”
“No,” she said with an audible swallow. “I’ll only be a minute.”
Wes sank into a dining chair and crossed his ankles to wait while she got herself ready.
“All right, I’m dressed,” she informed him a few minutes later.
Wes pushed to his feet and led her down to the stables. “This, is Midnight.” He ran his hand down the stallion’s thick, black mane.
Allison copied the gesture. “His hair is so soft.”
Wes grunted his agreement, then led Midnight from his stall. “Are you ready to mount?”
Allison dropped her hand and cast a pointed look at Midnight’s back. “I’m ready, but is he?”
“We’ll have to ride him bareback,” Wes explained. “The saddle isn’t large enough for both of us.”
“Do you not want me to come?”
Wes was caught off-guard by her question and tensed. “What makes you think that?”
“You just missed two opportunities to make a jest.”
“I did?”
“Yes,” she said in a voice that sounded hard and forced. “You asked if I was ready to mount.”
“And?”
“The Wes I met here last week, and even spent time in the company of up until yesterday afternoon, would have added a sarcastic remark on the end of that, such as, ‘or do you intend to keep checking Midnight’s mane for tangles?’.”
“So because I didn’t ask if you were done running your fingers through Midnight’s mane, you’ve drawn the conclusion I don’t want you to be here?” he asked flatly.
“Well, there’s that. But then you said we’d have to ride bareback because the saddle wasn’t big enough to hold the two of us.”
“And what did you expect me to say?”
She gave an overdone sigh as if she were genuinely uncomfortable but didn’t want him to know. “I half-expected you to follow that statement with a remark about how you could saddle him up for me, but only if I intended to sit on your lap.”
“And do you?”
“Do I what?”
“Want to sit directly on my lap?”
“No,” she blurted. “Please forget I said anything.”
Wes frowned at her. “I don’t think that’s possible. You did just suggest that you’d like to ride Midnight perched upon my lap. How could I possibly forget that?”
“I only said that because— Just forget it.”
Wes bit back his grin. He hadn’t intended to frustrate her, but now that he had... She’d been right though. He likely would have said those very things—or something even more shocking to her—had things been different yesterday and he not so distracted thinking about her and their current situation.
As it was, he didn’t know where he stood or how to fix it.
He gulped down the uncertainty that threatened to choke him and helped Allison onto the horse. He handed her the reins so she’d have something to hold on to, then closed his fingers around Midnight’s bridle and led him from the stable.
The sun wasn’t hidden as far behind the clouds as it normally was when he began his ride. That was all right; they just wouldn’t ride as far.
They cleared the barracks and Wes swung up onto Midnight’s back. He reached around Allison for the reins and guided Midnight in the usual direction he liked to go, then nudged him to go a little faster.
Midnight lurched forward, causing Allison to nearly lose her balance and fall against him.
“Sorry,” she murmured, attempting to straighten.
Unfortunately, her movements resulted in her rubbing her soft backside directly against his groin.
“Stop that,” he practically snapped, placing a staying hand on her waist.
“I’m just trying to sit up,” she argued. “How was I to know you were going to make the horse run before I was ready?”
He supposed she didn’t. “Place your hands on my thighs and use them for leverage if you must readjust.”
She did just as he’d suggested, only furthering his torment, because now not only was her bottom still rubbing against him, but she was also squeezing his upper thighs. Next time, he’d make it clear he meant for her to grip his knees.
Eventually, she regained her former position—the one where she sat straight up and thrust her perfumed hair just inches in front of his nose. When the hell had she had time to perfume herself?
“I wasn’t trying to tease you, Wes,” she said a moment later.
Wes momentarily tightened his hold on the reins. “I know that.”
“Do you?”
“Of course. A fancy lady like yourself wouldn’t know anything about how to excite a man while pretending to get more comfortable on his horse.”
Based on what he could see of the muscles in Allison’s neck in the low sunlight, he believed she’d stiffened. “That’s not what I intended. I didn’t even know I was doing that.”
A small wave of shame came over him. She’d always been very genuine in her actions toward him, even if it meant saying things to him that he never believed she’d say. To accuse her of something so vulgar and untrue wasn’t fair. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t a very fair accusation for me to make.”
“It’s all right,” she said with a stiff shrug. “It’s no less than I deserve after abandoning my morals and throwing myself at you yesterday, I suppose.”
“Is that how you see it? Throwing yourself at me?”
Silence, broken only by a distant bird singing its morning song, was her only answer.
Wes slowed Midnight to a trot. “Allison?”
“I would have gone through with it,” she said in a broken whisper.
“I know that.” But it wasn’t about her fulfilling the unspoken promise they’d made to each other when their kiss had become more than just a kiss and he’d begun undressing her. It was about the promise she didn’t intend to fulfill—the one far more valuable to him than just having her yesterday.
“Wes, I love you.”
> Those soft words hit him harder than a cannonball. “Then why do you insist on doing so from afar while sharing another man’s bed?”
Allison sucked in a harsh breath. “Would you please take me back to the barracks?”
“No. Would you please answer my question?”
“No.”
“Shall we play a game?”
She shook her head. “No.”
“I’ll go first. Is the reason you want to marry Nicholas because he’s better at rounders than I am?”
She didn’t answer, so he lifted his knee and nudged the side of her soft bottom. “N-no,” she said with a little squeal of surprise.
“Is it that he’s more handsome than me?”
“No.”
“Charming?”
“No,” she said with a sputter of laughter. “Nobody could compare to you in that regard, Wes.”
He was flattered, but not deterred. “Is it because he’s more refined than me?”
She sighed. “No.”
“Wealthier?”
She hesitated. “No.”
Wes’ gut clenched at her tone. Tightening his hold on the reins, he steered Midnight back toward the barracks.
“Is it my turn now?”
Wes ignored her and nudged Midnight to go faster. He’d gone back to their room last night with the hope that Gray had been right and her preoccupation with wealth had merely been his perception. Now he knew otherwise. It wasn’t enough to make him completely give up on her. He loved her too much to just walk away now, but it did not make him eager to spend another minute in her presence right now. He had to find a way, without resorting to his inheritance, to convince her to abandon her infatuation with her former suitor. And if she didn’t, then all would be lost. His heart constricted at the painful reality that was likely to become his own. He still had time, he reminded himself, as he nudged the horse forward.
“Wes, must we ride so fast?” she asked, her hands fruitlessly groping for purchase on his thighs.
He gritted his teeth. Then suddenly, she gripped the section of reins in front of her and pulled Midnight to an abrupt stop, leading his jaw to collide with the back of her head in the most painful way.
“That was not a good idea, Allison,” he barked; he instinctively moved his fingertips to his lips to check for bleeding, then to his jaw to see if it was swelling.
“I had to do something,” she cried. “You weren’t listening to me.”
“I heard you just fine,” he bit off, then licked his lips. “I chose not to answer.”
“Why is it that you get the choice not to answer my questions, but I have to answer yours?”
He shrugged, even though he knew she couldn’t see the gesture with her back to him. “Perhaps because I’ve already found out enough about you to know that anything I might say in answer to your questions won’t change anything between us.”
“And how did you reach this conclusion?”
“Because your answers told me so.”
“I said no to everything you asked,” she burst out.
“But you didn’t mean it.”
“Didn’t mean what?” She made a sound of aggravation, and before he could react, she threw her left leg over Midnight’s head, then tumbled to the ground in the most undignified heap.
Wes was off the horse in a second. “Are you all right?” He reached for her, only to be swatted at.
“I’m fine,” she hissed, refusing his offer of help. She got up and dusted off her skirt, then folded her arms across her chest. “I don’t like being made to talk to someone who I can’t see.”
“Then you should have asked me to help you off the horse.”
“Oh, and would you have helped me down the same way you’d have returned me to the barracks when I asked or responded to me when I asked you a question?”
“That’s different.”
Allison lifted her chin a notch. “I don’t see how.”
“It just is.”
“I see. You’re using the same logic you applied when deciding by all of my no answers that you have nothing more to say to me to determine that there’s a difference in how you would have reacted had I asked you to help me dismount versus when you’d ignored me before when I’d asked you to do things.”
He blinked at her. If he understood what she was saying correctly, she thought he was an illogical thinker. But he wasn’t. “The difference is that jumping down from a horse the way you did could have gotten you hurt. If you would have asked, I would have helped you down. I refused to return you to the barracks because you only demanded it to escape my presence and avoid answering my questions. The matters are different entirely.
“As for not answering your questions,” he shrugged, “I already told you there wasn’t a reason for me to do so. You’ve made it quite clear that you find Nicholas superior to me, so why should I bother to waste our time by answering your questions?”
She blanched. “So now it’s a waste of your time to so much as talk to me?”
“When what you have to say will only cause more hurt and not change the outcome, yes.”
“I don’t understand you, Wes. You already knew—”
“Yes, I did,” he cut in, not wanting her to remind him once again of what he already knew: she hadn’t changed her mind and she still intended to marry her precious Nicholas. “And damn it all, it’s my fault.”
“Your fault what?” she pressed.
“Nothing. Now, if we’re done arguing, I’d like to help you back onto Midnight, so we can return in time for me to meet my men.”
“No.”
“No?” He released a pent up breath. “Allison, I don’t have time for this. I have to get back.”
“Then just answer my question.”
“Which one?” he asked flippantly.
“How is it that I told you that you were more handsome and charming than Nicholas and that I love you, and yet you get angry and accuse me of saying you don’t compare to Nicholas. Why is it that you don’t believe me?”
“It has nothing to do with that.”
She knit her brows. “Then what is it?” Her voice cracked in the middle of her demand. “I said no to everything you asked.”
“But you didn’t mean no.”
“No, I didn’t, Wes. I have to admit. I think he’s the best rounders player to grace this country,” she said with a huff.
“It’s not that and you know it.” He crossed his arms. “I asked if you cared about his wealth.”
“And I said no.”
“Your voice might have said no, but your hesitation and tone said yes.”
An uncomfortable silence engulfed them.
“Wes, I—I—I...” She sighed and fisted her hands into her skirt. “I didn’t mean for it to be this way.”
He kicked a rock with the toe of his boot. “It’s all right, Allison. You don’t have to explain,” he said, just as much to spare her pride as his own. “Now, are you ready to go back or would you prefer to walk?”
“I’m not going anywhere until you listen to me.”
“Fine. Say whatever it is you think is so important.”
“Wes, I love you. I really do. I love you more than I ever thought was possible. But it has to be this way. I’m not what you need.”
“Is that so? Or is it that I’m not what you need?”
She shook her head violently and clasped her hands in front of her. “No. You are. You’re all I need, but I—I am not the wife you need.”
“And because you claim to love me, that makes you qualified to decide what’s best for me?” he asked in a tone dripping with sarcasm. He shook his head and twisted his lips. “What about what I want, Allison? Does that not matter? Do you think you know my own mind better than me?”
“What do you want, Wes?”
“You.”
Her lips formed a perfect O and her eyes shone with what he thought to be happy tears at his admission, but then her face fell in a way that might suggest she was abo
ut to spout off a reason that his feelings for her didn’t matter..
Before she could say anything further to trample his pride, he said, “I’ve answered your questions, so if you’re satisfied, I’d like to return to the barracks now.”
~Chapter Twenty-One~
The tension that filled the air surrounding them was enough to choke them both to death. Or at least Allison. With her back to Wes as they rode at a breakneck speed, she couldn’t see his face, but she had an idea of what she’d see: a scowl darker than thunder.
She swallowed uncomfortably. “Wes?”
No response, not that she’d actually expected one.
“Wes?” She sighed at his lack of response again. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to stay married to him. It was that she couldn’t. He just wasn’t allowing her the opportunity to explain that. Not that she believed she could find the right words to do so anyway.
The barracks came into view, and so did an incredible amount of horses and soldiers she didn’t recognize.
“Whoa,” Wes said soothingly to the horse as he pulled Midnight to a stop. They sat there for a minute, and then Wes clicked his tongue for the horse to move again.
Neither said anything as he unbridled Midnight and saw to the horses needs, only intensifying the tension between them more, if such a thing were even possible.
“Let’s go,” he barked.
“Where?”
He shot her a peeved look as if she should be able to read his mind.
Just then, the booming voice of Colonel Lewis floated to their ears loud enough to block out even her own thoughts. “Captain Tucker, get out here, now!”
Allison’s eyes widened. She’d never heard the soft-spoken Colonel raise his voice. She chanced a glance at Wes. His jaw was clenched and a muscle in his cheek was ticking.
It was evident that now wasn’t the time to be argumentative or ask him questions, so she kept her mouth closed. She had the strangest urge to reach for his hand but didn’t know if that would be more reassuring for him, or her, and decided against it.
They took four steps forward before the large door at the end of the stable swung open, revealing a stony-faced Colonel Lewis alongside— “Nicholas,” she gasped.
