by Unknown
Maybe an intern would be good for me. I couldn't argue with Barb—my methodology was ridiculously organized but it was the only way to do both my column work and my petition correspondence without ending up drooling in a straitjacket. As long as I answered the letters, queued the submissions, and wrote the schedule, I supposed an assistant could take care of the sending and logging stuff. That was just time-consuming work.
This could kind of like having a mini secretary. A secretary would be cool.
If only the control-freak part of me would stop screaming in the back of my head. I hated relinquishing control and I hated thinking about it and I hated the certainty that I needed to do it.
I scrubbed my brow with the back of my wrist. Barb had that no-nonsense look on her face. I hated that look. It reminded me she was my boss and I needed my job, for financial as well as emotional and perhaps oracular reasons.
"Yes. I do need a life. And, yes." I nodded my concession. "An intern would help with a lot of the non-composition work. And it would help keep things going when I kind of miss work."
"Kind of miss work." She said it with a grand flourish. "That's definitely one way to put it. Even if you were off doing something work-related. Ever hear of calling off? Giving a head's up? Sending a smoke signal?"
"It's not like he gave me a lot of space. He's a little pushy and a lot over-bearing and he's pretty much taken over my life. Geez. It's been a rough week." I didn't have to fake my irritation.
"Then give him the heave-ho. Or work with someone else on his team, if you don't want to walk away from the project. He's got to have directors. I searched his company, Sophie. It's legit and it's worldwide."
He was worldwide, all right. "I wish I could but…it's pretty much set. I'm stuck with him."
"Can't be all that bad, hon. He's handsome in that rugged-boyish European way."
I stuck out my tongue. I really didn't want to hear compliments when I was bent on hating him.
"And he has a wonderful voice. I bet he'd be great at karaoke." Barb leaned over her coffee to take a quick sip off the top. "And he is charming. Is he married?"
"I'm pretty sure he's single right now."
"Then just be nice. There may be a really good opportunity here. You can break into the German market with this. You don't have to marry him."
I chuckled weakly and got up to leave. "Not today, at least."
Dierk drove me home but didn't take off his seatbelt when he shut off the car.
I paused, my hand on the door handle. "What?"
"I'll see you later, when I return. I have business."
"Business?" Not that I cared what he wanted to do. I just didn't like the thought of him leaving. "Aren't you staying? I really don't feel like another night of delirium."
He laughed. "You'll be fine. The process has nearly ended. New moon this evening. The need to be close fades with the new moon."
I must have looked like he was speaking German because he reached for my hand.
"You see, the beginning of the Leni is about bonding. Spending time together. Becoming familiar with each other. It is a courtship. The ill feeling when we try to be apart is a reminder that we should be with each other instead. I think we have satisfied the requirement, don't you?"
"So…" I looked at the front door, wondering who would all be home. I saw Dahlia's car, and Rodrian's. Might be a full house again. Maybe that's why he didn't want to stay. "I can stay here and not be sick as a pig?"
He grimaced at my terminology. Dierk seemed to find distaste with many of my turns of phrase. Well, sorry, bub, I thought. I never went to Princess School.
"You will be fine. I have all your phone numbers in my contact list, if you need to call. I will only be gone a short time."
I nodded. "Um. But you're coming back?"
"Yes." He raised my hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss to my skin. "I will be meeting Thurzo tonight to discuss the situation and our expectations."
I got out of the car and he waved as he drove off down the driveway. He would meet with Rodrian tonight? That should be fun, in a sarcastic way. I wondered if they'd do battle. I half-expected they would.
Once inside, I was greeted by Toby, who delivered a nice chunk of news: he and Dahlia decided to move in for a while. He'd come over to drop off a few things while she was at work.
Toby said she felt really guilty about the whole thing, since she was the one who dragged me out to the concert in the first place. I didn't say much, especially when my initial reaction had been Don't worry about it, you can't change fate.
That would have sounded Dierkish and I would not give Dierk or the moon the satisfaction.
Euphrates couldn't be happier about the whole arrangement. After giving me hell for being away for so long, he disappeared from the suite. I followed him down the hall, watching him streak down the stairs and go right into the guest wing. Well. That's good. He liked Toby. I wanted my cat to be happy.
And Fraidy was happy. At one time, I saw Toby carrying him like a baby. The cat's tail waved along from under his arm, long contented swishes.
Toby caught me looking and blushed.
"Not my fault," he said. His protests were unnecessary, though. Fraidy's half-closed eyes and rumble-strip purring gave me all the evidence I needed. He had that wolf wrapped around his little paw.
It was the first thing that actually made me happy inside.
I hadn't really thought about what would happen to Fraidy. I doubted he'd be happy if I changed. I mean, I see him with Toby and they are like birds of a…nah, bad comparison. But still. I'd swear my cat would happily run away with the boy.
Dahlia, different story.
It's not that she hated the cat. I just got an unmistakable sense of mistrust between the two. It was the same thing with Rodrian. Cats and DV just didn't mix.
But what about me? It had taken Euphrates a long time to learn to trust me when we first met. If I suddenly changed my entire nature, I'd be a totally different person to him. He might not know me anymore.
It was perfectly plausible. Rodrian had the same trouble, after all.
After I'd washed and changed and grabbed a microwaved burrito (I had a mean craving for beef and beans) I went downstairs to the guest suite. The door was open so I knocked on the frame. "Toby, got a second?"
He'd been sitting in the kitchen table, where he'd been putting in new laces in his tan work boots. "You look tired."
I rolled my eyes. "Thanks."
"I didn't mean—"
"It's okay, bud. Just—never say that to Dally. It's pretty much the meanest thing you can say to a woman."
He hung his head a second in obligatory penance. "Okay, but sit down anyway."
I dragged a wooden chair from the running board. This suite was the oldest part of the house—it had started as a simple colonial cottage, a beloved home that Marek never wanted to relinquish. However, Marek was a living-large kind of man and eventually a huge estate grew up around it.
The estate was formally named Black Oak Stocks, largely in part of the trees that filled the woods on the sprawling property. Marek wasn't a materialistic man, though. He called it the cottage.
Marek had preserved these rooms in their own style, along with the furniture and the trappings of the era. It was a museum in its own right. I'm pretty sure the shocking union of a Demivamp and a Were wasn't something he'd foreseen frolicking in his carefully-preserved cottage. Oh, the scandal.
I took a deep breath, hoping I already knew what he'd say. "I'm really glad you guys are here. The house has been so empty."
"I thought Rodrian was here all the time. And Shiloh—where is she, anyway? I haven't heard a door slam since I got here."
I crossed my arms around my stomach. "They were, pretty much, but then Shiloh cusped and Brianda thought she'd benefit from…physical training."
"You mean, drinking blood."
I raised my hand between us. "Don't know, don't wanna."
"Right, so?"
I shrugged. "Shy drives now so she doesn't depend on me. Some days I'd wake up and she'd be gone, car still in the driveway."
Toby reached for the other boot and tugged a lace out of its plastic wrapper. "Dally said Shiloh's been different since the whole procedure thing."
"She is. I just don't know how different. It's like she woke up one day and kablam, she became Brianda Junior. I mostly see her when she stops in for new clothes. She packs a bag, dumps her laundry off for the staff—oh, by the way. There's new staff."
He made a teasing noise. "Look at you, Miss Sophie and her maids."
"Nuh-uh, not mine. I get along on my own, thank you. Well, I don't cut the grass or dust the den, but I cook my own food and take care of myself. It's not like I'm living like a princess."
"Well, you're gonna be queen. Might as well start living like one. Oh." He leaned forward, peering at my face. "I said the wrong thing again, didn't I?"
I laced my fingers and concentrated on them. "It's okay, Toby. I'm trying to keep a level head about the whole thing. But that's the reason I stopped down. I need to ask a favor."
"Anything for you, Red. Name it."
I smiled at the sound of his silly name for me. I was Little Red Riding Hood and he was the Big Bad Wolfboy. I liked the fairy tale part of it. And the ridiculosity. Toby wasn't Big Bad Anything. "If something happened to me…would you keep Fraidy?"
"Oh." His demeanor changed, like, just fell. All the goofiness just drained away. "Oh. I don't know, Sophie. I mean, I live with Dally now. You know how she feels about your cat. If I agreed without her knowing…"
I hadn't expected anything less than a huge YES! and maybe even some jumping around. I mean, who wouldn't be thrilled? Euphrates was quite possibly the coolest beast on four feet. And really, all I wanted was a little reassurance that at least one of us would be okay.
For seven years, it had been me and Euphrates, orphans against the world. Occasionally, it was a lonely world and sometimes it was a crazy dangerous world but it was always ours, together. I needed to know he'd be okay if I—
Swallowing hard and wanting to get out of the room before my eyes began to sting, I nodded. "Oh, yeah, of course. It's a big responsibility and I have no right to ask. Maybe you can talk to her."
"Sophie, you don't need to worry. He'll be okay. He'll get through this." Toby dropped the boot and knelt in front of me. "He's a tough old cat and he's a little worried that something is up but he knows that he's got people who love him very, very much."
Toby reached up and untangled my arms, seeking my hands and holding them tightly. "He is a most beloved creature and a member of this crazy family and he knows that he should remember that, even when it gets real hard. If our family situation changes…he knows he won't be forgotten. This family will adjust."
My vision blurred and I clamped down on my trembling lip.
"You know that, don't you, Red?" Toby released one of my hands to rub the side of my head. "You are loved and we will get through this."
I dropped my gaze to my lap for several long moments, just trying to chase down my breath. "I'm trying to remember it. It's just that…this thing is so big. I can't see around it."
He patted my leg and stood up. "It's just another thing, Sophie. You'll get through it."
"You've talked with Dierk's people, haven't you? What are they saying? I mean, every Were bite doesn't result in the Turn, does it?"
Toby retreated from me and busied himself with his bootlace again. "This one seems like a done deal. The Leni stuff…I don't understand it all the way because they talk funny and they leave a lot out but most of the others have already accepted that it's gonna happen."
I puffed out my cheeks with a hard exhale, surfing a sudden swell in my chest. Just when I thought the anxiety might pass, a new surge would roll me. "But some don't think so, right?"
He shook his head. "Nah, some just don't want it to, is all. Don't feel bad, Sophie, you know there's always going to be at least one jerk in the crowd."
"Yeah," I said with a snort. "Except in my case, the jerks try to kill me. What the hell?"
"You're just special, I guess." Toby shoved his feet into his boots and yanked the laces tight. "But don't worry. I think there's gonna be plenty of people around to protect you this time."
"Toby, one more question before you go. The Turning thing—is it going to hurt? I mean, I watched you change. It looked like it hurt. A lot."
"Yeah, about that." He peered into an antiquated mirror near the door, ruffling the front of his hair, smoothing back the sides. "I don't always shift like that. I was kind of…well, pissed off at the time and I wanted Rodrian to see something fierce. That's why it hurt so much. I was pushing out instead of pulling in and the energy was fighting me—you don't really follow me. Okay. But long story short, it's a little bit easier than that whole jump-out-of-my-skin thing."
"A little bit?"
He shrugged. "It's a big thing, Sophie, to change your body."
"You aren't making me feel better about it."
"I don't know how to. I want to, but you know I'm no good with words. Just—don't worry. It won't be anything like what happened to me that night when you guys had to watch me. The others said it's blessed or something. And, after the first time, your body doesn't forget what to do and it happens again on the next moon without thinking too hard about it. So, don't think about it."
He stepped near a china hutch and picked his wallet and the keys to Dahlia's car. "I have to go if I'm gonna pick her up on time. I promise we'll talk about Fraidy-Man and I will do everything in my power to charm her into submission. Stop worrying about it."
I walked out to the foyer with him, half-listening to his change of topic. Something about dinner and a game up in Philly and what all, I didn't know. All I could think about was the hum of power that had come into the house as we'd sat in the cottage suite, the hum that had drifted into the den and was now waiting for me. I felt it. That much was still me.
Toby waved goodbye and pulled the door shut behind him, leaving me in the foyer. I hesitated before turning to look toward the den. The doors were open. There was a fire going, even though the afternoon wasn't cold. I looked into that warm room, its burgundy carpets and dark oak and comfy couches and thought, how perfect.
It was easy to disregard the single memory of badness that had happened in that room, the day we lost Marek. That was the only bad thing. Lots of good things happened. A couple awkward things, too, but mostly good things. And just about all of them had something to do with Rodrian.
That last thought made my heart thump a bit. A throb of power from within that room responded. It was an invitation I could not ignore.
I processed into the room, careful steps. Only once I was all the way inside did I see him. Rodrian sat at the far end of the bar, carelessly thumbing through a screen on his phone. He didn't look up right away.
I took a long moment to look at him, to preserve the sight of him. He was in his work clothes, yet—dress pants, pressed shirt. No tie, no cufflinks (which, I think, were always my favorite part of his suited-up look), no jacket. Just dress casual. Sitting there, chin on his fist, he looked like an Armani ad with a Calvin Klein ad lying just beneath the surface. Oh, if only I were bold enough to snap a picture. But tonight wasn't the time.
"Hey," I murmured. My shields, bullet-proof and at the ready, kept me from discerning his disposition. I had to play it by human ear.
He picked up a bottle and finished the contents. Although the lighting was dim, I recognized the shape of the container. It was an emergency unit. Shiloh's treatment was over and done with for months, now, but for some reason he kept shelf blood around. I had assumed it made it possible to avoid asking me for mine.
He leaned over the bar and dropped it into the trash with a clatter. Very slowly, deliberately, he altered his seat until he was facing me, then raised his gaze to meet mine. His eyes were everyday-hazel, devoid of his inner light.
"You look better
." His voice was polite. Too polite.
I shrugged. "I guess I feel a little better. Not—not much. But I can walk."
I tried to follow it up with a little bit of a laugh and a Sophia push of Hey, I'm fine but I stumbled. I couldn't pretend. My edges crumbled.
He pushed off the stool and came over to me, his hands running up and down my arms as if to warm me. Truth was, I felt so cold inside. I desperately wanted his warmth and I wanted him to chase away the foreign threat within me.
"Oh, honey." He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and steered me toward the sofa. Sinking to the cushions, he tugged me down with him, cuddling me up to him like a beloved plush animal.
I didn't resist. I just wanted to feel him. I wanted him to want me near him. "You're here."
"Why wouldn't I be?" He stroked my hair as I rested against his chest.
His scent encircled me, Brut and cherries, the faint metallic tang of blood. Those were the flavors I used to define him, everything I knew about him. "After this morning, I wasn't sure you would be. Because you hate me now."
"I could never hate you. You're—" He paused, maybe looking for the right word. "I just couldn't."
"Why not? I hate me."
He sighed, a deep regretful sound. "You can't do this to yourself. It's pointless."
I sighed and fidgeted with the buttons running down his chest. "But I have to do it."
"Why?"
"I have to do something." I tugged myself out of his warm embrace. "I have to feel like I am doing something."
"Sometimes, you can't."
"Well, I don't accept that." Scooting down to the other end of the couch, I drew up my feet and hunched into a stubborn ball.
"I know. I want to just throttle you for it. Which reminds me…" He reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a business card holder. After pulling out a card, he slipped the case away again. "Here. This is the guy you want to talk to at the lab. He'll expect you."
