by Helen Lacey
“I didn’t mean to lead you on,” she said softly.
He shrugged loosely. “It doesn’t matter now. Let’s just keep ignoring one another. For the sake of harmony, it’s probably better that way.”
Then he released her, turned on his heel and walked off, leaving her standing in the center of the dance floor and realizing that he’d done exactly what she’d wanted to do to him.
* * *
Jonah wasn’t sure what it was about Connie Bedford that pushed his buttons so much.
But she did.
Big time.
And it wasn’t only about that night ten months earlier. Sure, she’d dented his ego. There was something about her that got under his skin. And no one, ever, did that. He’d spent his life keeping pretty much everyone—except his mother—at a figurative arm’s length. It made it easier to hold on to resentment, to hate his father and remain cautious about getting too close to his newfound half siblings. Now he had family everywhere he looked—a grandmother, an uncle, a cousin, nieces and nephews...the list appeared to keep on growing. And now that Kieran was married to Nicola, no doubt there would be more babies on the way in the future.
Having to fake a familial connection with so many people was exhausting. So he didn’t waste energy doing it. Which meant everyone thought he was arrogant and unlikable. And maybe he was. But he didn’t have anything to prove, and all he cared about was ensuring his mom was safe and happy. She was his family. Not these strangers who looked so much like him.
Because that’s what they were. Strangers. His life was filled with them. Each one trying to take a piece of him, trying to make him fit in. The truth was, fitting in with them didn’t interest him. He wasn’t and never would be an O’Sullivan. He didn’t need J.D.’s last name, his money or the legacy that came with both of those things. He only wanted his mother to be happy, and since she’d decided to move back to Cedar River, a small town in the shadow of the Black Hills, he found himself commuting from Portland more often than he liked. Something he’d do until he was sure his mother was settled and happy. He stayed at Kieran’s old apartment and minded his own business, unless he was forced to hang out with his half brothers.
He’d become used to them interfering over the past few months—particularly Liam and Kieran, since Sean lived in California and rarely made it back to Cedar River. The older O’Sullivan siblings seemed to have made inclusion part of their DNA. And it irritated the hell out of him. Jonah didn’t want to be a part of their family. He had enough going on working out a way to fit in with the Rickards.
And to top it off, there was Connie. Blond hair, gray eyes, curves in all the right places. Liam’s personal assistant, a family friend and so far under his skin he couldn’t bear to be in the same room as her. She had him under some kind of crazy, lustful spell, and he acted like a jerk every time they were together.
Of course, it was just sex.
He wanted to get her into bed.
End of story.
Their aborted make-out session had stupidly only amplified his desire for her. Of course, she had every right to change her mind, but he couldn’t help thinking that she’d become spooked in some way and that’s why she’d put the brakes on and then fled. He had no idea what he’d done to make her react that way because she’d left his room without an explanation. Now they couldn’t share a few words of conversation without it becoming a resentment-fueled disagreement. Not that he wanted to get cozy and friendly with Connie Bedford. He didn’t do that with anyone. But he had enough going on without the added aggravation of a certain blonde bombarding his thoughts every time he came to visit his mom. And it didn’t help that everyone named O’Sullivan seemed to think of her as some kind of angel incarnate. Connie did things. Connie fixed things. Connie had pretty much organized Kieran’s wedding single-handedly. Connie was the go-to girl. The person everyone leaned on to get things done. And she did it without complaint, so perhaps she was an angel. Because in his experience, no human being was that altruistic.
Maybe she had an endgame? Some kind of motive for being on call for the O’Sullivans 24/7. Not that it was any of his business. Connie Bedford could do what she liked, with whomever she liked, whenever she liked.
“Having a good time?”
Liam.
Jonah recognized his half brother’s voice immediately. Other than J.D., the man was his least favorite O’Sullivan. But Liam was the one who never let up—who acted like a big brother whenever he had the opportunity. And he monopolized most of Connie’s time and attention, since she’d been his personal assistant at the hotel for the past five years. Jonah wasn’t sure why it bugged him...but it did.
“Yeah, sure,” he replied and grabbed a wineglass from one of the passing waiters. “You know how much I love a good family gathering.”
Liam laughed. “God, you’re obnoxious.”
“One of my finer qualities.”
His brother shook his head. “Have you spoken to Dad this weekend?”
Jonah took a drink, ignored the awful sweetness of the wine and shrugged. “I’ve been busy.”
“You said you’d make an effort if we backed off and let you do this at your own pace,” Liam reminded him.
“I know what I said,” Jonah replied, spying Connie across the tent and hating that he was still thinking about her. “And I will.”
“It’s Thanksgiving in a couple of weeks,” Liam said. “It would be nice if you were there for him. Kayla’s folks and grandmother are coming to our place for dinner. So are my mother and Kieran and Nicola and the boys. And Liz’s girls will be there for some of the day.”
Liz, his half sister, had died a few years earlier. Jonah had heard the story many times. She’d left behind three young daughters and a rancher husband who had since remarried. The family was clearly still grieving, but given his own issues with the family, Jonah didn’t know how to feel about it.
“What do you expect me to say?” he asked his half brother.
Liam frowned. “All I’m saying is that I think Dad will be at loose ends.”
“I generally spend the holidays with my mom,” he said flatly. “I can’t see this year being any different.”
“We invited your mother,” Liam told him, so matter-of-fact it sounded like the most obvious thing in the world. “She declined, considering my mother would be there. So, I thought maybe Dad could—”
“I don’t want J.D. hanging around my mom,” Jonah said quickly, feeling rage rise through his blood. “Ever.”
Liam’s mouth twitched. “You might not have a say in the matter.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“It means,” his brother said and tapped him on the shoulder, “that as much as you want to, you don’t get to tell anyone how to live their life. Including and especially your parents. Now, be a big boy and go and talk to Dad.”
Dad...
Jonah hadn’t called J. D. O’Sullivan that since he was five years old.
And he never would again. He didn’t consider J.D. to be his father. He was the man who’d impregnated his mother when she was eighteen years old. End of story. There was no nice way around it. The fact that J.D. hadn’t technically abandoned his mom or him didn’t make one iota of difference. As far as Jonah was concerned, he didn’t have a father and was quite happy to keep it that way.
As if on cue, he spotted J.D. in the crowd, deep in discussion with people he knew were friends of the bride and groom. He also spotted Liam’s mother, Gwen O’Sullivan, a few feet away, clearly keeping a respectable distance between herself and her ex-husband. He admired her poise and elegance and the way she’d dropped J.D. like a hot coal once she’d discovered his lies and infidelity. Jonah had met her several times, and despite expecting her to treat him with disdain and resentment, Gwen was always polite and appeared to harbor no bad feelings toward him. He’d even attended her re
cent birthday celebration, albeit very briefly, as a gesture of respect.
Tired of the conversation with his half brother, Jonah waved a dismissive hand and headed inside the house. The O’Sullivan ranch was the largest around, and the house looked as though it could have been on the cover of a style magazine. The O’Sullivans were third-generation money and the wealthiest family in Cedar River. But money had never impressed Jonah, even though J.D. had showered him with extravagant gifts when he was younger. Bikes, electronic equipment, even a brand-new Jeep when he got his learner’s permit. None of it had made a lick of difference. What he’d wanted back then had nothing to do with the expensive gifts that felt like a payoff.
Family.
A mom and dad and maybe a couple of siblings. Instead, there was J.D.—turning up every few months, full of excuses and handouts and time frames. A couple of days here and there, the occasional birthday, graduation...whenever he could fit them in between his real family. With postscripts about his other children. Jonah had been raised on a steady diet of tales about his half siblings and Cedar River and life on the big O’Sullivan ranch. And through all those years, they knew nothing about him. He was a guilty secret. A side note to his father’s perfect life. Until Liam had eloped with Kayla Rickard and everything had been blown out of the water in spectacular fashion.
Now, he was a part of them, drawn into their lives without his consent and feeling resistance with every fiber he possessed. Tied by blood but always the outsider, destined to be the illegitimate and unwanted son of J. D. O’Sullivan.
He shook off his thoughts and headed down the hallway and into the front living room. He’d been inside the house a couple of times, and since Gwen had decided she wanted to get a place in town and Kieran and his new bride planned on moving in, he figured his invitations would soon become more frequent. Nicola had custody of her two orphaned nephews, and Jonah had to admit the ranch would be a great place for the kids to grow up.
Jonah came to a halt in the doorway, spotting Connie by the window. She was staring out, clearly looking for some time alone. He was about to turn and leave when she said his name and turned slightly.
“I didn’t mean to disturb you,” he said quickly. “I was looking for some—”
“Downtime?” she suggested, cutting him off. “Me, too. Don’t get me wrong, I love weddings, but once everything is done and the bride and groom are relaxed and happy, I always seem to need a little time-out.”
He took a couple of steps into the room. “How many of these things have you helped organize?”
Her mouth twisted in a smile. “A few.”
Jonah let out a breath and took another step. “Don’t you ever get tired of it?”
“Tired of what?”
“Doing things for everyone else.”
She turned fully to face him, and he was struck by how effortlessly beautiful she was. Even with her tightly coiffed hair, purple dress and perfect makeup...there was a naturalness about her that affected him on a kind of primal level. He tried to ignore it, tried to deny it—but there was no denying the truth. He was hot for Connie Bedford. Raging hot. And he didn’t know what the hell to do about it. He’d never been at the mercy of his libido before.
“I’ve always considered it a privilege to do things for others.”
He laughed humorlessly. “God, you’re naive.”
“Because I like to help people?”
“Because you let people walk all over you.”
She moved, taking a couple of long strides. “Like who?”
“Liam,” he said pointedly.
“He’s my employer,” she shot back.
“Didn’t you look after his kid last night?” Jonah reminded her. “Is babysitting in your job description, too?”
“They had trouble finding a replacement sitter on short notice and the whole family was at the rehearsal dinner.”
“I know,” he said and moved to stand behind the couch, watching her, fascinated as her cheeks scorched with color. “I was there.”
“So, you know the whole story.”
“I know my brother takes advantage of you. I know you pick up J.D.’s dry cleaning. I know you do errands for Gwen O’Sullivan.”
She moved closer, until there was only the sofa between them, her chest heaving. Jonah tried his best not to stare, but she was damned impossible to ignore. He’d had his fair share of relationships and lovers, but he couldn’t ever remember wanting a woman the way he wanted Connie.
“Obviously you’ve never done an unselfish thing in your life.”
“It’s not unselfish to refuse to become someone’s doormat,” he offered.
Her hands jerked to her hips in dramatic fashion. “I think that’s the most insulting thing anyone has ever said to me.”
“Then you’ve lived a sheltered life.”
“I’d rather that than be mean-spirited and unpleasant. I can’t believe you’re actually related to the O’Sullivans.”
Jonah rocked back a little on his heels. “You’re not the only one.”
“You’re not fit to wipe their boots.”
Irritation kerneled in his chest and Jonah was suddenly all out of patience. Her blind faith in the O’Sullivans was astounding. “No need to...not when you’re at their beck and call day and night.”
She glared at him. “I don’t know how I ever...ever...”
Her words trailed off. “How you what?” he shot back. “Ended up in my hotel room with your tongue in my mouth and—”
“You’re such a jerk,” she said, cutting him off. “How do you sleep at night?”
He raised a brow. “If you’d stayed in my bed that night, you would have found out.”
Chapter Two
Connie shook her head. “You’re such a conceited ass. Bailing was the smartest thing I’ve ever done.”
He scowled, clearly not liking the fact that she was laughing at him. “Speaking the truth doesn’t make me conceited, Con—” He stopped and she knew he fought hard to check himself. “I mean, Miss Bedford. Your dedication to the O’Sullivans might seem honorable, but it also makes me wonder why. Money doesn’t appear to be your motive. Or power, since you’ve worked for Liam for five years and the old man before that. I don’t know...maybe you’re infatuated with one of them.”
Connie took a moment to absorb his words. And then she laughed. “Really? That’s your theory on my loyalty?”
He shrugged, then tugged at his collar. “It makes sense. You and Liam spend a lot of time together,” he said quietly. “It explains your devotion and utter compliance to everything he says and does.”
If she didn’t know better, she could have sworn that he was actually jealous. But that made no sense. They were nothing to one another. “Beside the fact that he’s married and that Kayla and your brother are very happy together, Liam is my boss. And my friend. But since you probably don’t have any friends, I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”
Now he laughed, a soft, deeply resonant chuckle that affected her deep down. She hated that he could do that. In fact, she despised everything about him, deciding that sexual attraction definitely had nothing to do with actually liking someone.
“Have I pushed a button?”
“I wouldn’t let you close enough to push my buttons.”
“Now, we both know that’s not entirely true,” he said quietly, his dark hair shining beneath the light, his blue eyes glittering brilliantly.
“You’re insufferable,” she said in a huff. “If you must know, that night was completely out of character for me. I’d had a bad day and decided to have a drink after work. I didn’t expect to see you at the bar. And then one thing led to another and...well...you know the rest.”
“You mean the part where you sprinted to my room?”
Heat infused her cheeks. “I would hardly call it a sprint. Anyway
, you weren’t exactly difficult to convince.”
“I thought a beautiful woman wanted me to make love to her,” he said quietly, his voice as seductive as a caress. “I’m not made of stone, despite what you may think.”
All Connie could think was the fact that he’d just said she was beautiful. The words rattled around in her head with the deafening power of a freight train. She’d never considered herself beautiful. Well groomed, maybe, with nice hair and an average build...but knowing Jonah thought she was beautiful made her belly roll over and over.
“I don’t think you’re made of stone,” she said and shrugged. “It’s only that sometimes you can be so...so infuriating.”
“Part of my charm.”
“You’re not charming,” she assured him.
“Not like Liam, eh?”
She made an impatient sound. “Would you stop inferring that I have feelings for your brother? Because I don’t.”
“Prove it,” he challenged. “Criticize him.”
She scowled. “I’m not going to play stupid games to help inflate your ego.”
“My ego is rock solid,” he said. “It needs to be around you, Miss Bedford.”
Connie didn’t miss the insinuation—or his return to formality. “If it’s any consolation, it wouldn’t have mattered whose room I was in that night...the outcome would have been the same. I’m only thankful that it was someone as rational and considerate as you. I guess it could have ended very differently if I’d been with someone else.”
His gaze narrowed. “Is that a compliment?”
She shrugged. “An observation.”
“No means no,” he said quietly. “Always. There are no half measures when it comes to a person’s choice about who they sleep with.”
Connie’s suspicions were confirmed. Despite the rude way he’d dismissed her that night, he had integrity. No means no. Such a simple statement had more meaning to her than he could ever understand.
“I don’t sleep around. I don’t have one-night stands. I’m a boring, stay-at-home girl who likes to read romantic novels and curl up on the couch with my dogs.”
