My interpretation of her actions was confirmed when she showed up bearing a bundle of items meant to soothe me during my recovery. A berry wine meant to quiet the mind, a cream soap to soften the skin, a tea smelling of sandalwood to sooth the stomach—and chocolate for, well, chocolate.
All of these items were presented in beautiful jars and boxes. All of them cost more money than Risa should be spending. In my current state of exhaustion I was almost moved to tears that Risa would be so generous with me when she couldn’t afford it. It infuriated me that there was nothing I could do to ease Risa’s financial straits.
Well, nothing ethical, anyway.
After hearing about my poisoning and Ben’s possible involvement in it, Risa sent Taro away. “Business is done. I want to enjoy myself now.”
Taro scowled. It was cute.
“Stop hovering like a crow. I’ll see to anything she needs.”
“What is with everyone today?” he grumbled. He kissed me on the cheek before leaving.
Risa waited until she was sure Taro was gone before saying, “He’s been acting strange since you two got back.”
“I hadn’t noticed.” Of course I had, but I wasn’t going to talk about that to outsiders.
“That’s not surprising,” she smirked. “You don’t seem to notice a lot.”
I sighed. I was getting very tired of having my flaws thrust in my face. What was it about me that invited people to speak to me that way?
Risa sobered. “All right, fine. What I have to say now is important, and I want you to promise not to tell anyone else about it, all right? Not even Shintaro.”
“I can’t promise not to tell until I know what it is.” I tried to avoid making blind promises. That way led to idiocy and melodrama.
“Damn it, Dunleavy, this is serious. You don’t have any idea how visible you are. As a Shield, I mean. People watch you, they talk about you, and sometimes information gets to the wrong ears.”
I stared at her. People watched me? What the hell for? Didn’t they have things to do? “You’re not clarifying things.”
She rolled her eyes. “Fine. You were seen buying—or requisitioning, whatever you people call it—a book of spells in the market. And the person who saw you reported you to Headquarters.” What a dirty thing to do, watching and eavesdropping and tattling. “I said there was no way you’d have done anything like that, that you thought it was all bunk and you were above such lunacy, but I would talk to you about it to make sure.” She held up a hand when she saw me opening my mouth to speak. “I am sure, having been away so long and then so busy what with fewer Pairs in High Scape, you would not recognize a spell book for what it was had you inadvertently picked one up. Shields and Sources pick up so many things without thought.”
Hey, that made us sound like thieves.
“And then, when you actually did read it, you would probably think it was fiction. Badly written fiction. So you would throw it out. Or even burn it.” She put heavy emphasis on the word “burn.” “And you would never dream of picking up anything so trashy again.”
All right, all right, you don’t have to club me in the face with it. “I promise not to say anything. To anyone.”
She nodded. “Good. And it would be great if your Source didn’t go so far out of his way to start rumors about having an unnatural ability to heal.”
I rubbed my face with my left hand. So much for their promise to keep it quiet. There really was no point in doing anything for anyone anymore. “He can’t heal people. He told them that.”
“Too bad he can’t. There are too many idiots claiming the riverfront areas are cursed, and that’s why they’re getting sick.”
“You said you thought the water was making them sick.” I was so tempted to tell her what Taro and I thought we knew, but we had nothing to back it up. In all of our nights of surveillance of the hub, we hadn’t once seen a woman come to do anything to the drains with ashes.
“Aye, but no one can figure out how. We can’t really prove it. And now people are trying to move into the other areas. Only no one else will take them in. Because they’re sick. It’s getting nasty.”
Really, sometimes it felt like this city was really falling apart. Had it always been so chaotic, and that never made it into the textbooks? Or was I merely living in interesting times?
“You don’t want them all landing on your doorstep looking for a miracle.”
Too late. “No, I don’t.” I held the package of tea to my nose and breathed in the scent. It was calming.
“Do you understand what I’m telling you?” Risa prodded.
“Yes.” I understood that she suspected we’d been engaging in illegal activities, and she was warning me to stop it and get rid of the evidence. That had to be against the rules of being a Runner. “Thank you.”
Risa left shortly thereafter, once more warning me that Ben had not yet been apprehended. I promptly went up to my suite, lit my fireplace and threw all the books and pamphlets in. It irked me to do it. I should never have to destroy books just because I was afraid someone would learn I had them. But people were acting crazy. And anything I did, Taro would share the repercussions.
Besides, I’d already read all the books.
Taro wandered in while I was poking the burning books into ashes. “Am I allowed to be around you now?”
I slanted a look up at him. “I’ve often been the one sent out of the room.”
“Not that often. What are you doing?”
“Taking Risa’s advice.”
“She advised you to burn your possessions?”
I told him of the warnings Risa had given me.
He sighed as he sat beside me on the floor. “I’m sorry.”
“What for? You’ve done nothing wrong.”
“I shouldn’t have tried to heal those people. It brought too much attention to us.”
Taro, unfortunately, couldn’t help bringing attention on himself, the poor lad. “Aye, but what if it had worked? That would have been wonderful.”
He seemed to be squirming a little. “That wasn’t the real reason I tried.”
I waited.
“I just feel so bloody useless here,” he confessed heatedly. “No events all this time. There’s no point to me being here.”
“We’re all in the same position when it comes to that,” I reminded him. “All the Sources and Shields. That’s why they’ve been transferring Pairs to other sites.”
“Aye, but unlike me, channeling isn’t the only tool in your kit bag, is it?” he said bitterly. “That damned island proved that.”
Ah, that. Damned Flatwell, convincing Taro he was inferior. I wished we’d never gone. I wished he could forget about it. “I’m sorry you feel that way. I don’t feel that way about you. I doubt anyone who matters feels that way about you. But you feel that way, and I wish I had the words that would prove to you that you’re wrong.”
He smirked. “I think that’s the longest string of words you’ve given me in months.”
I slapped him up the back of the head. But gently.
And then his inner protections went up.
“No,” I said, knowing it was too late. “I’m not strong enough.”
“I can’t help it!”
He couldn’t help it? Of course he could help it. Nothing could force a trained Source to begin to channel.
But he was channeling, so I had to Shield. And the images and tastes and sounds of cliffs and sea tore through me. They flooded my mind and swirled behind my eyes, filling my throat and mouth until I felt I couldn’t breathe.
And I couldn’t do it. I just wasn’t strong enough. I could practically see my Shields shaking from the pounding of the forces. I was going to get us both killed. “I need a Shield!” I shouted as loudly as I could. “Help! Stone! Ladin! Benedict! Hammad! Help!” Please, please, let there be someone within earshot. Someone with the skill to Shield someone else’s Source. Please.
“No!” Taro roared. And there was a huge wrenc
hing sensation, painful in its violence. The rise of his protections scraped like a serrated blade across my mind.
What the hell was that? I looked at Taro to ask just that. He was pale and sweaty and shaking. “Are you all right? What happened?”
“I stopped channeling before the disaster was finished.”
That was supposed to be impossible. When had he started being able to do that?
I didn’t know how he could claim to feel useless when he was developing a new ability every time he turned around.
Then he fainted, and I had other things to worry about.
Chapter Twenty-eight
Several days later, Taro had gone in search of chocolate, having eaten all of mine. He was pale and complained of a piercing headache. He was also impatient and restless and seemed unable to remain in the residence. So he left. To find chocolate.
After several hours, he still hadn’t returned. And now I was the one who was impatient and restless.
He was late, but that meant nothing, I was sure. He had met up with some friends, that was all. He was having a few drinks at a tavern. He had been dancing attendance on me for a while, and then had been laid low with a headache that had taxed him ever since he collapsed from wrenching himself out of a channeling. Of course he needed some time away.
But he had left late in the morning, and now the sun was setting. I was starting to worry.
As I wouldn’t have, had we not been sleeping together. Did that mean I had been a heartless, thoughtless wench before, or that I was a nagging, paranoid wench now?
Really, it only made sense that he was lengthening the leash a little. I slept like the dead for long hours at a stretch. When I was awake, I was usually no good for anything more than dragging my sorry posterior from the bed to a chair in the kitchen to a settee in the parlor. I was pretty much confined to the residence.
Maybe that was why I was so restless about Taro. I wasn’t worried about him; I envied him. Maybe it was time I ventured out a little, put some muscles back on my legs.
Or maybe not. Just because he said he loved me didn’t mean he wanted to spend every waking moment with me. It would be so humiliating if I were to show up and all he felt was exasperation because I would never leave him alone. I would hate to turn into a clinging weed, wrapping around everything in his life.
This was why it was so bad to fall in love. It turned a person into an idiot.
I was in the kitchen brewing coffee—doing it myself as Ben had not yet returned, and no, that didn’t prove anything—when I felt Taro’s protections lowering. I raised my Shields, of course—I would never do otherwise—but I was furious. He was getting way too cocky with his off-duty channeling, and we’d be having a nice little argument about that when I saw him next.
I quickly realized, however, that Taro wasn’t channeling an event that was not in our jurisdiction, or attempting to soothe pain or heal an injury. He was creating an event. He only did that when something was wrong.
I didn’t know what to do. I had no idea what kind of difficulty Taro might be in. He might be merely trying to stop someone else from doing something he considered wrong, or he might be in danger. The mere possibility that he might be in jeopardy meant I had to try to find him.
Only there was no way I could channel and search for Taro simultaneously, not properly. I needed help. Risa would have been my first choice, but I didn’t know where to find her. I couldn’t go out and find her while channeling, either.
I would need to get help from someone in the house. I hated that idea. I would have to ask for a favor from one of my colleagues. Worse, I would have to tell someone how I knew Taro was in trouble. We didn’t want people to know he could create disasters. Telling another member of the Triple S would all too likely lead to questions from the Triple S council, something Taro was desperate to avoid.
But it couldn’t be avoided. I needed help. So whom should I ask?
The name that first leapt to mind surprised me. Moving as carefully as I could while Shielding, I left the parlor and checked the kitchen and the private dining room before heading up the stairs to LaMonte’s suite.
Taro was still channeling. What was going on with him? It was difficult, holding up the Shields so long while climbing up stairs.
I didn’t know what I was going to do if LaMonte wasn’t in. Panic, I supposed.
I pounded on LaMonte’s door. I was so relieved when it opened that I almost couldn’t breathe for a moment. I couldn’t see his expression all that well—I wasn’t really able to focus on that kind of detail—but he was probably annoyed at being interrupted. I didn’t care.
“Taro’s in trouble,” I blurted out.
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, where is he?”
“I don’t know.”
He probably still looked annoyed.
“Are you Shielding right now?”
“Aye.”
“Come in.” He took me by the elbow, and the next thing I knew, I was sitting on a settee.
LaMonte surprised me by kneeling before me as opposed to sitting beside me. “What’s happening?”
“Taro is in trouble. I need to find him.” Why was he making me repeat myself?
“Taro is channeling right now?”
“Aye.”
“You’re not on duty. Why is he channeling?”
“I don’t know. Can you find him?”
“How would I be able to find him?”
“You can feel where the event is.” He would have felt the event, like all the other Sources in High Scape, but would have ignored it as he wasn’t on duty. Apparently, only my Source felt the need to channel absolutely everything.
“I can’t determine its exact location.”
Oh, how disappointing. Now what was I going to do?
“Derek might be able to, depending on the nature of the event. He has a knack that way.”
Oh, thank gods. Where was Beatrice?
“But why would that information assist you?”
“Does it really matter?”
“If you’re going to ask me to do something unorthodox, yes, it does.”
I supposed that was fair. Annoying, but fair. “That’s where Taro will be.”
“And you know this how?”
“He’s creating the event. It means he’s in trouble.”
And that was when I learned that LaMonte was truly a beautiful person. He didn’t imply I was lying. He didn’t demand to know how Taro could possibly create an event. He merely said, “Wait here. I’ll find Derek. Oh.” He paused before leaving. “Never tell anyone else what you just told me.”
Later, I would need to think more carefully on his words.
Then I had to wait while LaMonte tracked down Beatrice, convinced him we weren’t crazy and brought him back. The whole time, Taro was channeling and I was Shielding. Taro was keeping all of the forces moving slowly, which meant he was causing tremors instead of a full-out earthquake. So we had some time. No one was killing him yet.
It was difficult to hold on so long. Luckily, I’d had some practice with that recently.
It was Beatrice who came back to me. “Chris is flagging down a carriage,” he told me. It was the first time in my memory that he didn’t sound at least slightly petulant. “We’re going to find Shintaro.”
Oh, thank gods. “You know where Taro is?”
“I can’t just pinpoint the location from here.”
Then what good was he?
“We’ll have to track him down. I can do that.”
I supposed it was better than nothing. It was certainly more that I could do. Would it be enough?
“Come with me. Let me guide you. I’ll see you get to Shintaro. You just concentrate on Shielding. Don’t worry about anything else.” He took my wrists and gently urged me to my feet.
It was sweet of him to suggest I just put myself in his hands that way. It wasn’t something I could do with anyone other than Taro. It
wasn’t as though I thought Beatrice would do me any harm. I just didn’t know him. Which was a sad thing to admit after living in the same residence so long.
LaMonte had a carriage waiting by the time Beatrice and I reached the front door of the residence. LaMonte climbed into the carriage with me and Beatrice joined the driver up top. The carriage jolted into movement, pressing me hard against the back of my seat, the hooves of the horses clattering loudly against the surface of the street.
I couldn’t recall traveling so quickly in a carriage before.
“Get out of the way!” I heard Beatrice bellow. “Move, move, move!”
It appeared Beatrice was taking this seriously. Who would have thought?
People out in the street shouted back. Some of the words were foul.
We took a sharp corner, and I was thrown against LaMonte. We seemed to take another quick corner, and I was forced back against the wall of the carriage. I clenched my fists in an effort to hold on to my Shields.
It was only a few moments later that I realized my left hand was actually digging my nails into LaMonte’s thigh. That was embarrassing.
I could swear the next corner the carriage took, a couple of wheels left the ground.
“Don’t kill us before we get there!” LaMonte shouted.
“Are we in a hurry or not?”
“All right, then, how about you try not to kill anyone else?”
Another sharp swerve had me tumbling to the floor.
“Don’t let go of Shintaro,” LaMonte ordered. “Maybe you should stay down there.”
That actually seemed like a good idea, what little thought I could spare to it. So I stayed on the dirty floor.
There were more curves and corners and people swearing at us. Then, finally, we began to slow down.
“We’re entering the riverfront district,” LaMonte commented shortly thereafter.
Huh. There was a reason that was significant. I couldn’t recall it right then.
The carriage slowed down. “Can you see him?” I asked LaMonte, meaning Taro.
“No. We’re not stopping. I believe we’re slowing down because Derek has narrowed the search to a particular area. He has to slow down to determine Shintaro’s exact location.”
Moira J. Moore - Heroes at Risk Page 28
