by B L Morticia
Santiago spoke to her in much more welcome voice than he did to me. We hadn’t seen one another since he’d moved. I’d expected a little more cheer in his tone.
Watching the two of them, I couldn’t help but smile. Santiago loved Macy. He’d be a wonderful father, and there was no hiding the longing in his eyes. What did I have to do to convince him he belonged in her life?
And mine.
“I brought Macy because I thought you’d like to see her. And clearly, you do. Exactly how is that ‘beneath me’?”
“You know exactly what I mean.” Santiago sat in the recliner and held Macy close to his chest. “We talked about visiting, but it isn’t right that you’d show up here without giving notice. It’s very rude. Having her here means we couldn’t throw you out.”
I shrugged. “I didn’t think you’d do that.”
“Myles don’t play coy with me. You knew I wouldn’t reject seeing this bundle of joy, regardless.”
“You care for me.”
Santiago shook his head. “Yes, that’s true, but only because we’re friends. I care about your welfare, and family, especially Macy’s, nothing more.”
“Oh, babe, it’s more than that.”
“Myles it doesn’t matter. I love Jonas. I’m marrying him in a few months.”
“As I told him, a lot could change by then.”
“Nothing’s changing, all right? When I left Chicago, we were done. Finished. We have nothing more to say or do with each other.”
“Um… excuse me. Why don’t I take her in the other room? Maybe let her play on the bed or something so you can talk?”
I looked around at the lady called Pamela and thought for a second. I barely knew her, but I needed to be alone with Santiago so we could chat.
“All right. If you don’t mind. Please be careful with her.”
“I will. I babysit all the time.” Pamela walked over to Santiago and gently took her from his hands.
I stood up, grabbing the bag and seat to carry into the next room.
“I’ll take that.” Santiago snatched both from me and nodded at Pamela to move ahead, then he followed. In about a minute, he came back out of the room, shutting the door.
Santiago stalked over, looking like a prized fighter, ready to claim his belt.
Menacing. He had to have gotten that from Jonas.
“You’ve gotta lot of fucking nerve coming down here. You’re such an asshole,” he growled at me through gritted teeth. He poked my chest.
“Perhaps, but I needed to convince you your rightful place is with me.”
“Myles, my rightful place is here with my fiancé.”
“Santiago, you love me. You want me back.”
“I wanted you before Jonas came into my life. You pushed me away.”
“With good reason.”
“Yes, but I also told you I’d wait for you and you urged me to move on. So I did, and I found the most wonderful man I could ever have.”
I looked around the mix-matched apartment that appeared too small for a man of Jonas’s stature and Santiago. Obviously, they cared little for décor. “Taking care of you? In this place? Santiago, you want a house.”
“We’re buying one after we get married. He moved in with me.”
“Ah, all right. So this is all your doing? Well, I certainly hope he’ll hire an interior decorator for the two of you. Oh, that’s right. He won’t have to because you’re coming to live with me.”
“The hell I will!” Santiago seethed and got in my face. His hazel eyes flashing with anger and that turned me on more than anything else.
“Oh, I love when you’re angry!” Although I wanted to grab him, I fought hard to keep my hands to myself. With him so close, I inhaled the smell of his cologne and his shampoo. It was heavenly and made my dick harden in my slacks.
“Myles, you need to leave. Now. As much as I want to play with Macy, I can’t have you here.”
“Santiago, please. I made a big mistake letting you go in the first place, but I wasn’t stable. You know the situation. Why won’t you acknowledge that?”
Santiago crossed his arms. “Again, you told me to move on. And I did. It’s too late to take any of that back. Please, gather up your things and go back to Chicago. I’ll try to visit Macy when I can, with my fiancé at my side, not before.”
Feeling the air knocked out of my sails, I looked at the horrible area rug and sighed. He was adamant about leaving this chapter closed and I swear I didn’t know how to handle it.
“Myles, I don’t want to call the cops on you, but I will. I have friends there so they’ll be here in minutes if you don’t get out of my apartment.”
I eyed him again and took a deep breath. “All right. I don’t want to cause any trouble. I mean, if you want to spend more time with her, I’ll go to the car.” I offered that as my last shred of hope that perhaps he’d play with her and want to be in her life.
Santiago cocked an eyebrow and drew up his lips. “No. Not today. I’d rather do it when I’m calmer. I want you to leave. You’ve upset my man and me with this pitiful stunt.”
“Please, Santiago. I need a minute myself before we take this long drive.” And I did because I was thrown off by how this all played out. I needed to regain my focus.
Santiago sighed and threw his head back. “All right. I’ll give you twenty minutes. Go sit in the car and we’ll bring her out soon.” He spun on his heel and walked into the room, closing the door behind him.
When I watched Santiago disappear, my heart dropped in my chest. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes because it seemed like he’d meant every word.
With a heavy heart, I turned and walked out of the building to my car parked on the side. I fiddled around in my pocket and pressed the fob to open the door, then slid into the driver’s seat. Leaning back in the leather chair, I allowed the few droplets to fall from my eyelids and cursed myself for telling Santiago to leave. I never should have, but long distance relationships don’t work. I didn’t want us to end up as another statistic in the failure column.
Despite all my hurt, I mentally reassured myself that I’d get through this. Eventually Santiago would come around and see things my way, but it would take longer than first thought.
Why wouldn’t he? The heat in his eyes told me the feelings were still there. I’d just have to be patient so he could grow tired of Jonas and get him out of his system once and for all.
* * * *
Santiago
I kept Macy for about thirty minutes until Pamela told me what time it was. I had to admit. It was great having her back in my arms, but her uncle had to go.
I wasn’t shocked he’d done this. Myles would use anything he could, including an innocent angel like Macy to get his way.
Pamela and I walked Macy out and put her in the car seat. I noticed Myles looked upset, but I couldn’t care less. He barged into my life, making me miss the antique show and drive the seventeen or so miles to return to Cobalt. This asshole had it coming, and it did me good to wipe that smug smile off his face.
“Goodbye, Myles!”
He only nodded and started the engine.
Watching him drive away, I sighed and eyed Pamela from the side. “I know what you’re gonna ask me.”
“Well?”
I shrugged and held myself tight. I wish Jonas was here, but then again, maybe it was a good idea he wasn’t so I could get my emotions in check.
“To answer your question, yes, I miss him. I still love him. Right now, I hate him for this shit he pulled. He pissed Jonas off.”
“And you?”
“Yep. Let’s go inside. I need a damn drink!”
I waved at Pamela to go in first and I followed her. Once I locked the door, I made a beeline for the kitchen. The smells of Myles’ cologne overtook the sweet Macy scents. And my damn dick was raging right now from that hug he gave me. If the baby and Pamela weren’t here I might’ve been tempted.
; No. That would only make things worse. We would never go down that road again.
Once I made it there, I grabbed the scotch from the cabinet along with two glasses. I turned to the fridge, got ice and the Coke, setting both on the counter.
“So, you wanted to see him? And, no liquor for me, I have to drive.”
I shrugged, then made my morning cocktail. It wasn’t even eleven, but oh well. I’d pretend I was in New Orleans during Mardi Gras.
“Sure I did, but he took all that joy away showing up unannounced!”
“Yeah, but you said, you weren’t surprised,” Pamela added.
“No…” I handed her a glass of Coke. “I thought he’d have more class. More sense than to drag Macy into it. Oh God, she looked so cute. Isn’t she the sweetest thing?”
“Yeah, she is. It was nice playing with her. Almost made me want one of my own… not!” Pamela smirked.
I finished preparing my drink, then tilted it towards my mouth. In one swallow, I’d drunk the whole thing and was about to make another one when Pamela put her hand on top of mine.
“Hey, why don’t we go to back to the show? You need a distraction after all this.”
I shook my head. “I dunno if I could even enjoy it after what happened. That ass ruined my day. My fiancé’s day. Jonas was so damn angry when he called me. He told me, if the baby wasn’t here, he would’ve decked him.”
“Like that solves anything.” Pamela took another sip, shaking her head.
“I know, I know, but it would’ve given him some relief. I told him I’d let him fuck me when he returned.”
Pamela put her hands over her ears. “Uh, la la la. Santiago, I don’t wanna hear about what you and your man do on your time!”
“Pssh. You like it.” I quickly made another one, then threw that one down faster than the first. “You’d probably like to watch us one day wouldn’t ya?”
“Er, no. If you’d allow Jonas to give me a strip show where he takes off his fireman’s gear, then yes, I’ll take that.”
“You sure you don’t like men?”
“Not sexually, but damn Jonas is hot as hell. And Myles is hot, too. He’s such an ass though.”
“Yeah, he is that. God, Pamela. I’d love to have both of them in my life, but neither of them would go for that. Could you imagine? All three of us raising little Macy?”
“Um, like Three Men and a Baby? That flick is older than both of us, but my freaking mother loves it.”
“Yeah, but they were straight,” I made another drink. I eased up on the scotch and poured more Coke in. “Or at least they appeared straight on film. Now, any movie like that might be taboo with homoerotic overtones.”
“Hmph. I think there were still some in that, but don’t tell my mom.” Pamela sighed, still nursing her drink. “Anyway, forget that scenario. It’s not happening. Jonas officially hates Myles and Myles, well… he probably feels the same about Jonas. Besides, you’re getting married. I’m ready to pick out my bridesmaid dress.”
I nodded at Pamela, listening to her words. Of course, she was right, but a small part of me wanted to prove her wrong. What if I could convince the two of them to be a family for us to raise Macy? We would really be hated then, but I’d love pissing those overzealous, bible thumping asshats off.
I wanted that fucked up postcard to be my reality, but how I would go about achieving it was the issue.
“Right. I’m ready for that too, but…”
Pamela appeared stunned. “But what? Oh God, Santiago, please don’t tell me you’re considering this. It won’t work. There are people in poly relationships, but you can’t expect your ex and current to get along. Even if Myles went for it, Jonas wouldn’t. If he did, he’d do it only for your benefit and nothing else!”
I dropped my head, knowing she had a point. The scenario was best relegated to my own fantasies I’d need to write in a book. Jonas was too stubborn to change his mind. And even if I convinced him, there would be too much tension between us which wouldn’t be good for any of us, and especially Macy.
“I know, but a fella can dream, right?”
“Sure. You can dream of being in that relationship while I dream of seeing Jonas naked.”
“Uh, you had your chance earlier.”
“He was in a towel.”
“And that’s as close as you’ll get.”
“Yep. That’s why I call it a dream.”
“Uh huh, I think you’re bisexual and don’t want to admit it.”
“Nope. Just because I like girls doesn’t mean I cannot appreciate a perfect male physique. C’mon Santiago, let’s go so I can get your mind off that man who left twenty minutes ago. Let’s go grab your antiques. I’ll even tell Jonas it was my idea if you bring like a thousand bucks of stuff home to further fill your living room.”
“You promise?” I looked at her with puppy dog eyes and finished my third cocktail.
“Yep and I’ll buy lunch.”
“Oh damn, I can’t refuse that.” I hopped off the stool, carrying the ice and pop back to the fridge. When I finished, I shifted back around to face her.
“Give me a chance to go brush my teeth and freshen up so I don’t smell like a whino.”
“You got ten minutes.” Pamela left her drink on the counter and kept walking out to the foyer.
I watched her leave then grabbed the rest, throwing it down my throat. Although it was only soda it still tasted good. Too bad I couldn’t carry the scotch along with me, but I needed to have some of my faculties to shop at the show. If I didn’t I might spend it on something too damn expensive, further pissing my man off. And I did not need that, especially after what had happened earlier.
Someday I’d see both Macy and Myles again, but on my terms. Knowing the feelings I had for Myles, Jonas would have to be there, so I wouldn’t do something I’d regret.
Chapter Twelve
Myles
“Oh damn, bossman. I’m so sorry. I have to say I told you it was a bad idea in the beginning.” Sarah patted my shoulder. We both sat on the sofa enjoying an early evening cocktail. Well, only me because Sarah refused to drink on duty.
Thank goodness the trip tired Macy out enough she hadn’t woken up from her nap yet. In my current state of mind, I wasn’t sure I could face her.
“You know what you need? A good fuck to make you forget about him. I’ll take care of Macy while you put on your hottest outfit and go out for the night.”
I swirled the last of my bourbon around in the glass. Though it was tempting to take out my frustration on some random man, I wasn’t in the mood.
“No. That’s the last thing I need. I want to sit here and relax with my own thoughts.”
“That could be dangerous. You might drum up scenarios that won’t work.”
“There’s got to be a way, Sarah. I swear to you, being around him again felt so good. If it weren’t for the baby, we probably would’ve been fucking. He’s never been able to resist me.”
“Uh, huh. Well, he did this time. Gosh, Myles, I told you, you need to start out with someone new. You did after Pierre died, what’s so different this time?”
I only stared straight ahead, not wanting to answer that. Truthfully, I didn’t know how to or maybe I did and didn’t want to accept I might’ve lost the only two men I’d ever loved.
“I…” Again, I could feel the tightness in my chest, cutting off my breath.
“With Pierre it was final. There wasn’t a chance for him to be with me again, but Santiago is still here.”
“And he has a man!”
“Yes, he does. Sarah, the man is a god. He’s like Thor without all the hair. I mean, he’s amazingly sculpted, perfect. Blue eyes like the sea, massive arms like guns−.”
“Sounds like a dream, but he belongs to Santiago,” Sarah answered.
I grimaced hearing those words, though they were true. Jonas was a lucky sonofabitch, but so was Santiago.
“Boss. You need to move on with your life. You have a beaut
iful little girl that anyone would want to help you raise. You’re smart, handsome, successful. What about that guy who seems so crazy about you? Karl−”
“No.” I got up from the sofa and walked over to my wet bar. I poured the bourbon in the tumbler with no chaser then threw it down my throat, wincing at the burn. “I don’t like him like that, especially after what happened last night.”
“Oh? What happened?”
I quickly recounted the events of Karl showing up at the networking night Garrett took me to. He used private information to get close to me which was a very serious offense. I took a seat in the recliner.
“Oh my God, Myles. You might need to report that guy. He sounds like a creep.”
“He is. That’s why I’ve been trying to distance myself from him.” I tapped my fingers on the arm of my Lazyboy and leaned back until the footrest popped up. “I swear. What could I have done in my past life to make all my significant relationships end up badly? So, I’m an ass, but is it necessary to make me suffer?”
“No. You’ve been a little unlucky, that’s all.”
Macy’s whimper came through loud and clear on the monitor and I eyed Sarah. “Please?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll spend some time with her, but I need to sober up a little more.”
Sarah bowed her head in my direction and left the room.
I laid my head on the cushions, thinking about those last few minutes I’d had with Santiago. Looking beautiful as always, dressed down in a white t-shirt and black jeans. He’d always been a simple man, not needing anything fancy. Then again, Santiago would look good in anything he wore.
Despite his attitude with me, I couldn’t help but desire him. He was so angry, stubborn, so damn fiery. Delicious. Obviously, Jonas had taught him to be more of a stand-up guy and God it looked good on him. Santiago was even more gorgeous with that scowl and attitude. It made me horny just thinking about it.
Santiago had to want what he could have with me more than his simple life. More than his gorgeous fireman boyfriend. The attraction between us had always been hot which was why I had a shred of hope.
