by B L Morticia
Jonas shook his head and sighed. “I’m not gonna say what’s on my mind right now.”
“I already know. Jonas, the setup that you and Santiago want is too complicated for me. I’m set in my ways, I’m grouchy. I can be hard to deal with. I have to keep that softness for Macy, so she won’t hate me when she gets older. I truly feel being with the two of you would be too much for my old feeble brain. The anxiety, the, who’s with who on each night would be exhausting.”
“Says the person who accuses me of only thinking this is about sex.” Jonas smirked.
“Regardless of what you say, it is. If it were only about Macy, we wouldn’t be in this bed together.”
Jonas looked up, then back at me. “I came to support you, Myles. Sure, we want you as part of our family, but I knew you’d need someone while you let your momma go. I’m telling you, man, I didn’t have that. I had no man by my side when I lost my mom. I didn’t want you to go through the same thing. I mean, don’t that count for something?”
“Sure. Like I said, you’ve earned the title of being a friend, but should we be in bed right now? You are Santiago’s man. I’m his ex.”
“We’re here because we want to be, Myles. You’re making this complicated and it doesn’t need to be.”
“It doesn’t, but it is. What you and Santiago want is a clusterfuck. Even if we said to hell with everyone else, we’re miles apart from one another. I have no desire to live in Cobalt and Santiago doesn’t want to live here. All of us have jobs, you have a career as a fireman, Santiago works at the library, and I run a company. Then there’s Macy. She needs stability in her life. What kind of situation are we thrusting this child into? We’re asking her to understand that her uncle wants to be in a triad relationship so they can fulfill their sexual desires all the time. Every moment not spent with Macy will be either working separately or fucking.”
“Yeah, so?”
“So, it will not work. If you haven’t already guessed, I’m a needy individual. Ask Santiago how much I like my man to be with me.”
“And you would have that, so I’m not getting what you’re saying.”
“I’m saying I’d want that closeness. When two of us are together that leaves one out.”
“Dude, I’m a fireman, there’s gonna be a lot of times I won’t be around.”
“And you’re okay with Santiago and I being together?”
“Yes. When I come home, I’ll snuggle up with the both of you.” Jonas grinned at me and winked.
I bit back a moan watching his lips curl into that grin. My cock was already semi hard, and we were only talking. “Jonas, be serious.”
“I am. Look Myles, you said for us not to talk about this, so I’m gonna let it drop. I’d rather spend the time acting like a lover as you said.” Jonas turned us both over until he was directly over me. His blue eyes met mine, and he took my bottom lip into his mouth.
“Mmph.” I wrapped both arms around his shoulders and curled my legs around his waist. When our cocks met under the covers, I gasped and covered his mouth with mine. I removed one hand from his back and grasped our dicks in the palm of my hand, rubbing them together. Although he was rock hard, I wasn’t. Surely with friction, my shaft would thicken in no time flat.
Jonas pulled away, eyeing me while he pushed his cock into my hand. “Tell me you want me, Myles. You want me to breach you for the first time.”
“Not a chance,” I said through hampered breaths. “I’m no bottom. Not now, never will be.”
“Your loss. Cause I’m really good at fucking,” Jonas said, kissing me with fervor.
I pulled off, feeling my rod harden from the feeling of his flesh mingling with mine. “Oh, I know you are. I’ll have to ask Santiago for the play-by-play.”
“Will you really?” Jonas leaned forehead against mine.
“Yeah, because even me, the stuffy old man loves a good sex story.” I countered, bringing his lips down to mine. I darted my tongue inside his mouth and fucked him with it at the same rate we thrust into one another. Again, my heart skipped a beat, and I closed my eyes, losing myself in the feeling of being with Jonas.
One with him.
So close, like nothing on the outside mattered.
And before I knew it, Jonas came within my hand, spurting his release on my stomach, chest, and thighs. I brought my hand up to his lips, and he sucked it off, eagerly, almost making me ready to come again.
Almost.
Despite being hard, I wasn’t ready, and that was all right. He made enough for both of us to enjoy and provide a worthy distraction for my brain and my achy heart that questioned my own fucking reasoning for refusing him and Santiago.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Santiago
“Old MacDonald had a farm, eeeieeeiohhh…” I sang to Macy while we played together on the floor. I had asked the library to take me off the schedule until further notice because I wasn’t sure when I’d be available. They were well staffed anyway and since the manager liked me, she understood and told me I could come back any time.
I didn’t want to go back at all. I’d enjoyed these four weeks plus being home, able to write stories, which had become more graphic as of late. I’d been writing some hardcore sex scenes and posting them on free sites as I wrote my novels. Many people said I needed to write books, and I informed them my first one was in the works.
And it was. I had answered a sub call from a high profile gay romance publisher with my idea for a high fantasy series I was working on. The first book was nearly finished and I would start book two at any moment.
“Hey there, little momma. Hey!” I toyed with Macy and bounced her on my lap. Instead of staying indoors today, Pamela was coming by so we can go to the flea market and then the park. I’d been taking Macy on lots of walks and only a few drives in the car when I went out for groceries or running other errands. The weather was too nice to stay indoors anyway and I believed it was good for her to see country beauty instead of the dirty town known as Chicago.
A knock sounded and then the bell. I figured that was probably Pamela, so I got up to answer the door. I carried Macy on my hip and walked through the small hallway.
“Who is it?”
“It’s me, Pamela. Ready to go?”
“Yep. Just about.” I opened the door wide and Pamela gave me a big hug.
“I really miss you at the library. Being surrounded by old biddies all the time is driving me nuts.”
I laughed. “Well, I’m enjoying being at home with Macy and writing. I’m not sure I want to go back.”
“Oh God, please don’t say that. Hey, little momma!” Pamela spoke to Macy, and she squealed, clapping her arms. She liked Pamela.
“Let me go wash my hands so I can hold her. You not being there means I’ve picked up extra shifts. That’s cool and all but I miss being able to come and play with Macy,” Pamela said as she walked towards the kitchen.
“I’m sorry. Without Jonas here, I’m not able to work. And then, even when he comes back today, he has three twenty-four-hour rotations to do starting Saturday.”
“Oh God. You two won’t have any time alone then.” Pamela walked back in while she dried her hands on a paper towel. “Dang, Santiago. I don’t understand why you allowed him to go be with Myles.” Pamela picked Macy up and held her.
I let Macy go and watched her settle in Pamela’s arms. I eased back onto the sofa and ran my hand through my hair. “Because Myles needed support.”
“Santiago, I care for you and Jonas. I mean, yeah, I’m sad as hell for Myles losing his mom, but Jonas is your man. You guys are in a relationship.”
“Yes, we are, but Jonas wanted to help him and I appreciate him doing what I couldn’t. Anyway, I’m about ready to go. The flea market has the best deals around one. I’m looking for another couch since I can’t sit on old books.” I patted my ptitiful old sofa.
“Aw. I love that sofa. It reminds me of something in an old sitcom my mom used to watch. Oh well, I suppos
e you can find something just as… well rustic,” she laughed.
“Hush up. I like old, classic things. What can I say? There was an antique show I wanted to check out in Munster, but I’m not sure I want to take Macy to an old dusty field house in Indiana.”
“Yeah, it might not be good for her.” She bounced Macy in her arms. “Santiago, I have to say, it’s nice seeing you taking care of Macy. You’re a natural.”
I smiled at that. “Thanks. I love kids. And I love this little lady. God.” I sat up straight, placing my elbows on my knees. “I don’t know what I’d do if she wasn’t here with me. I mean, I’ve gotten so used to caring for her, feeding her, changing diapers. When Myles is ready to come get her, I’m not sure how I’ll react.”
“Santiago, you can adopt.”
“Yes, but I don’t want another one. I want Macy. Sweet, perfect, and beautiful little Macy.” I grinned at her, feeling the tears well up in my eyes.
“Oh we all do.” She toyed with Macy’s hair which I’d put up in a cute bun atop her head. She was still growing like a weed, and so was her hair.
“Yeah, and I won’t have her if…”
“Dude, I’m sure you’ll be able to see her. You don’t think Myles would keep her away from you.”
“No, I’m sure he wouldn’t, but it wouldn’t be enough.” I sniffed and wiped the stray tear running down my cheek. “I want Macy to be with me. I’ve played with her, changed her. She’s played in her jungle gym, while I took the time to write a little. I’ve gotten work done after she’s asleep, but it seems I wouldn’t know what to do without her. A piece of me would be lost. We’ve become so close in these last few weeks and −”
Macy squealed again while we talked, making us both laugh.
“Anyway, I hope Myles will visit often.” I got up from the sofa and walked towards the bathroom to clean my face.
The best thing for me to do was spend time with Macy and enjoy her completely. We’d go to the flea market, enjoy the warm day, go out for something to eat, and play until bedtime like we’d been doing for the last few weeks. I’d cherish those moments no matter what and truthfully, when Jonas came home this evening, it would be even better.
* * * *
Jonas
I’d already bought my bus ticket home so despite my desire to stay with Myles the rest of the evening, I couldn’t change it. I missed Macy and Santiago, but a part of me wished to stay here and hold Myles’s hand as he called everyone to make arrangements. He had no one else, and it saddened me he’d have to go through this all alone.
After I put the rest of my clothes in my duffel bag, I zipped it up tight and hauled it over my shoulder. Myles and I dislodged ourselves from one another only three hours ago and he’d demanded we shower separately. I knew it was for the best, but it didn’t mean I wanted to follow the rule. A lot of emotions built inside of me for this man. Right now, my heart and mind didn’t know where to place them.
Sighing, I turned once more and looked around Myles’s bedroom. I loved the colors, the furnishings, and dammit, I was jealous as all hell about the space. Santiago’s and my bedroom was half the size of this and with Macy’s crib even smaller. What I would give to have a room as spacious as this.
With my belongings on my back, I walked out and trudged through the hallway.
“Myles?”
“Yes. I’m in the kitchen,” Myles called me.
I turned right and waltzed in. I barely knew what it looked like since we hadn’t spent much time there. Actually, not more than about thirty minutes. After we fucked the second time we came in here to grab a snack. And instead of eating, we wound up on the floor, butt naked in front of an open fridge, nibbling on whatever we could put our hands on and each other.
I stood by the counter, not bothering to move another step. If I did, I was sure I’d grab him and take his ass over it, no matter what he’d said about not bottoming.
“So, um… when are you thinking we should come back?”
Sitting at the table nearest the window, Myles didn’t bother to meet my gaze. He wore a pair of loose fitting gray jogging pants and a snug wife beater, showing off his nearly perfect pecs and abs. I’d seen and experienced his gorgeous body up close and in all honesty, I couldn’t get enough.
“I’ll inform you when it’s time, no worries there. Shouldn’t be that long. Maybe another week?”
“Okay.” I adjusted the bag on my shoulder. “I hate to leave you right now, but −”
“Duties and Santiago call, yes I’m aware. I appreciate you supporting me, Jonas. It means a lot, but… this was the first and last time we’ll be tangled up like this, unless you want to hear my proposition.”
“Which is?”
Myles finally looked up at me with that wicked smile I wanted to kiss off his face.
He shrugged and leaned back in the chair, folding his arms. “You and Santiago break up and allow him to come back to me. I love him, Jonas. Other than my business, he and Macy are all I have left.”
I closed my eyes, shaking my head. This man was a piece of work. “You have all of us, Myles. I already told you that. And how does Santiago coming back to you have anything to do with us fucking again?”
“Well, I’d let you be with us on the weekends of course. Remember, we discussed this at the hospital.”
“I wasn’t listening,” I said, looking away from Myles. “Look. That’s not gonna happen.”
“It could if you’ll consider the positives. Don’t get me wrong, I like you. A lot, but I can’t see this working between of us as things are constructed.”
“But they can if I give up the only man I’ve ever loved?”
Myles swiped that thick tongue across his lips and nodded. “I love him too, Jonas. And we could have him and each other. He’ll just live here with me and Macy. It’ll work that way because we won’t be up under each other all the time and…”
“And it won’t ruin your reputation,” I finished the sentence for him.
Myles inclined his head in agreement. “Yes, and −”
“You won’t have to move. Santiago only has to uproot his life and move here. Away from me, my family, and… Fuck, Myles. What we did means so little to you?”
“No, Jonas. I just can’t see all this working. I’m offering a better solution that’ll work best for all of us. That way, we’ll both have Santiago and Macy. You yourself said you’d be working all the time so what’s the big deal?”
I felt the anger rise inside my gut. I bit my lip and eyed him. “The difference is I’ll have to leave Cobalt whenever I want to see you, Macy, and Santiago. Explain how that is fucking fair?”
“You’re asking me to do the same thing, Jonas. Leave behind my company, my friends, my comfortable condo, to live in a small shack apartment with the two of you.”
“I never said we had to live there, Myles.”
“Oh, good well at least you acknowledge that, but, God, Jonas. I’m only telling you what I think would work. What you and Santiago want won’t work −,”
“Because it doesn’t suit Myles Greyson’s needs first and you have to have everything your way.” I scowled at him.
“Well, yeah, I mean, no, not really.” Myles chuckled nervously.
Knowing my temper was about to get the best of me, I sighed and shifted on my heel. If I stayed here any longer, I’d miss my bus.
“Goodbye, Myles.” I turned away from him.
“Jonas, wait.”
I heard the footsteps behind me and I kept walking to the door. I grabbed the knob and turned it. The minute I stepped into the hallway, Myles’s hand grasped my bicep.
Feeling the ache in my groin, I groaned under my breath and stopped moving. I shook my head and asked the Lord above to give me strength.
“Jonas. Just give it some thought, all right? For Santiago, for me, and for Macy. It’s the best thing for all of us.” Myles squeezed my arm again.
I didn’t turn around. Instead, I shrugged his hand off me and went d
own the long hallway to the elevator.
“Goodbye, Jonas, and thank you again. I couldn’t have made it through these few days without you.”
I said nothing in response. Instead, I pushed the elevator button, then glanced back at him still standing at the door. When the elevator sounded, I gave him a mock salute and stepped on, hating myself for even listening to him in the first place. Even more so for developing feelings for the man who didn’t hold me in high regard.
Despite all this, I saw light at the end of this tunnel. We’d be in for a long fight with Myles. At least I knew he cared for me enough to include me in his version of a ménage relationship.
The commitment that worked in his favor.
But not mine or Santiago’s.
* * * *
Myles
Watching Mr. Sandbauck get on the elevator was a treat within itself. His deliciously tight ass moved in those well-fitting jeans. The t-shirt clung like Saran Wrap to every bit of his chest and biceps. Jonas was a work of art. So beautiful, gorgeous, he’d temporarily become a close friend. However, I suspected by the look he gave me, we might not be close anymore, which suited me just fine. He only had to come around to my way of thinking and allow Santiago to come back. Anything else we wanted would follow suit.
Honestly, I longed for more between me and Jonas again, just not in this current situation. I’d been reckless, allowing him to come back to my condo with me and spend almost two days fucking, kissing, acting like lovers.
God, did I make a huge mistake, because I hadn’t been able to think of anything else all morning. I hated that he had to leave.
Hated that Santiago, and him were so far away. Though, realistically, they weren’t.
However, like he said, the idea they had didn’t suit me. It had to be to my advantage and Macy’s. Everything she had was here, not in Cobalt. I had no idea I was leaving her there that long, so of course, all her favorite things were here. We couldn’t move her away from all this.
We could because she’s only six months old.
