by B L Morticia
“Got it. C’mon we need to grab a taxi.”
Myles patted my shoulder and we left the backyard, shutting the gate behind us.
“Where do you think he’d go?”
“I… I haven’t the faintest idea. Maybe we can check his old neighborhood?”
“And where is that?”
“It’s further south. Just keep trying to call him and I’ll figure something out.”
“Right.” I did as Myles asked, continually ringing his phone.
“Babe, where are you?” I spoke to the voicemail, then pushed the red button to disconnect. My mind reeled with all the possibilities of where he could have gone.
Back to where he’d been raped?
I had no idea where that was, and Myles probably didn’t either. Regardless, we had to find him. I wouldn’t rest until he was safely back in my arms.
After we’d looked everywhere within about a ten-mile radius we’d found nothing. I’d continued blowing up his phone and no single answer from him made me even more worried. I wasn’t sure what made him take off like this, leaving me and Myles worried about his safety. The least he could’ve done was text me and say “I’m fine” just so I wouldn’t panic.
“You’re going to have to stop that,” Myles said to me.
“I can’t help it.” I stopped tapping my feet, ran my fingers through my hair, and exhaled noisily. “Myles, can we please go look for him again?”
“How? Jonas, I’m just as worried as you are, but we went back to his old neighborhood, downtown, anywhere we thought he could possibly be. The best thing to do is sit here and wait. I’ll try calling him again.”
Although he was right, I wanted to punch him for being too calm.
“Look, I get that it won’t be easy, but I can’t just sit idle. He could be anywhere.”
“Which is a good reason we should sit. C’mon. I’ll make you a drink or I got some beer if you’d like that instead.” Myles clasped my wrist.
I whipped around to stare at him. “Why the hell are you so calm about this?”
“Perhaps the wine calmed my nerves. Listen, I’m very worried. I want to tear up the city looking for him, but pacing or acting frantic won’t bring him back any sooner. Let’s keep calling and then we’ll call the police, okay? Now, would you like a drink?”
“No, I’m good, thanks.”
Myles grunted and left the room, heading for his kitchen. I cursed under my breath and picked up the phone again, dialing the numbers. After so much pressing, my fingertips were numb because of it.
“You’ve reached Santiago’s voicemail, leave a message.”
“Fuck!” I yelled and tossed my cell on the sofa next to me. At that moment, I was glad Macy was in the other room with Sarah and not here with us where I was quickly losing my mind with worry.
“Jonas, please. You need to stop that, okay? I’ll tell you what. I’ll call Garrett and he can drive us around again.”
“Yeah… that would be good,” I said.
Myles sat down next to me. “We’ll find him, okay? I have every bit of confidence he won’t do anything stupid.”
“I believe that too, but, Myles, did he ever tell you what happened to him the night he was attacked?”
Myles shook his head after he sipped his beer. “Only bits and pieces. He was too scared to talk about the whole thing.”
“Yeah?” I wondered should I share the other details that Myles might not know. Just as I was about to talk, my phone rung. I checked the screen, seeing Santiago’s number pop up.
“Thank God, this is him. Hello? Santi, where are you?”
A sigh, then clearing of the throat. “I’m fine. I just needed to go for a walk.”
Listening to him, I was relieved he sounded calm. I clenched the sofa under my hands, forcing myself to relax even though I wanted to demand to know why the fuck he left in such a rush. “Walking where? And why didn’t you say anything.”
“Santiago. Why didn’t you answer our calls? We’ve been worried sick about you,” Myles asked.
“I…” Santiago hesitated, then sighed aloud. “I had a vision and, well I thought I’d try facing my demons head on. It didn’t work, Jonas. I couldn’t do it!”
I shook my head in disbelief. I wanted to reach through the phone and shake him. “Where are you now? I’ll come get you?”
“No, no. You don’t have to. I’m on my way to the condo now. I’m in a cab so I should be there soon. I’m sorry I ran off like that, but− dammit, I’m such a wuss! I thought I could do this. I needed to just in case Myles wants to live in Chicago.” Santiago sounded as if he was crying.
“Shh…. Hush. We’ll talk when you get here, okay?”
“All right. No matter what, I love you.”
“I love you too. Okay. I’ll see in you a bit. Bye.”
The minute I stopped speaking, Santiago hung up. I placed the phone on the coffee table.
“Thank goodness he’s all right,” Myles said as he nursed his drink.
“Yeah. Well, since he’s coming back, I think I’ll have that drink now.” I quickly moved towards the kitchen and could feel Myles’s eyes on my back. Once I made it to the fridge, I grasped the handle and pulled until it opened. I grabbed a beer and twisted the cap, tilting it over my mouth. When the cool liquid coated my throat, I sighed in relief.
In his mental state, I wished I could be drunk along with Myles. I’d been worried the whole afternoon into the evening, wondering where the hell Santiago had gone, trouncing all over this big city alone.
Then, I wondered what made Santiago up and leave without speaking to anyone. It had to be something he spotted at the repast. Perhaps after he’d calmed down, we could all talk about it.
* * * *
Santiago
After Myles let me into his condo, Jonas damn near knocked me over when he hugged me.
“God, Santiago, don’t you ever—”
“I know.” I backed up and moved away, allowing Myles to close the door.
“You had us worried sick. Why did you leave like that?” Myles sounded like a teacher scolding a student.
“I… I wanted to try facing the fears I had, that’s all. I…” I stopped talking. “Myles, can I have a drink?”
“Absolutely. I need another one too. Jonas?”
“Yeah, man, thanks.”
Myles nodded and ambled into his kitchen.
Jonas took my hand and kissed it softly. “Santiago, please don’t do that again. I was so worried. We went looking for you…”
“Where?”
“Myles and I took a cab to your old neighborhood. He called it Yards, something.”
“Back of the yards,” I said, leading him over to Myles’s sofa. Hearing the name again, I swallowed hard, fighting the bile rising again. It was as if Jonas’s voice was being replaced with Karl’s.
“Back of the Yards,” Karl’s and Jonas’s voice mixed in my brain. I held my head and began sobbing, shuddering like a leaf.
“Baby. Look at me. It’s okay. Please…” Jonas gently pulled me into him and I held on as if he was a life raft.
“Jonas… I tried to for you, for Myles… us. I tried. I can’t do this. I just can’t,” I wept repeatedly.
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.” Myles voice came from the side. “Here ‘s your drink.”
Instantly, I let go of Jonas and took it with shaky hands. I downed it in one shot and dropped my head. “I went back there because I wanted to rid my mind of the demons. Just in case we got together, you know? All of us?”
Myles sighed aloud and placed his glass on the table. “Santiago, you don’t have to do anything regardless of what goes on between us. I know I asked you to come live here before, but after what has happened, I know that’s not possible.”
“It’s not, Myles. I can’t be here. If it weren’t for you and Macy I wouldn’t ever come back to this town,” I cried, wiping my face with my sleeve.
Jonas offered his shoulder a
nd I clutched him again, holding on tight. He knew when I was in a frantic state like this it was best not to grab me.
“Let me fetch you some tissue,” Myles said.
“No. I… I just need sleep. I think this one drink is what I needed to settle down. I want to be alone for a bit, okay? The therapist said it was good for me to try processing all my feelings and I want to do it alone for now.”
“You sure? I can sit there and talk with you. Listen to you rant. Whatever you need,” Jonas said to me.
“No, babe. I’ll be fine. Sit here and have drinks with Myles, all right?” I promptly got up and kissed him on the cheek, then did the same for Myles. “Good night.”
“Good night, babe,” Jonas said, sipping his beer.
“Night, Santiago.” Myles added, nodding at me.
After acknowledging them again, I quickly left the living room for the guest room at the end of the hall. I closed the door behind me and sank to the floor while I loosened my tie.
Despite wanting Jonas near, I needed to process what had happened today and put it into perspective. I’d tried to fight those demons, and lost, but at least I felt a little stronger after the attempt.
Thinking of the few moments I’d walked the streets on forty-seventh, I inhaled a shaky breath and stared at the wall in front of me.
I’d attempted it. That was all that mattered. And even though I failed, I could see what my therapist told me was definitely working. Focus on the positives and don’t try recovering too quickly. Bottom line, it might take a lifetime to bury those fears, but I wouldn’t rush the process because it would do more harm than good.
* * * *
Myles
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” Jonas finished his beer and placed the empty bottle on the table.
“Good. You can unclench now,” I said with a hint of humor in my voice.
Jonas loosened his necktie and pulled it off. He tossed it aside and unbuttoned the top button.
Surveying that gorgeous vision, I licked my lips and sipped my drink again. “He’s all right, Jonas. That’s all that matters. Why don’t we have another drink?”
“Haven’t you had enough?”
“After all that’s occurred today, no. Not nearly, and in all seriousness, I don’t think you have either.” I moved to the couch next to him and rubbed his back.
Jonas groaned under my touch and inhaled sharply. He turned, peering at me with those azure pools I wanted to gaze into for all time.
“I had two beers.”
“Mhmm. And, you could use something stronger.”
“Nah. I probably just need sleep.” Jonas got up and walked out the living room, towards the kitchen. I’d wondered why he would go there when the bedroom was in the other direction.
Watching Jonas walk away from me should’ve pissed me off, but instead it did exactly the opposite. I should’ve taken it as an insult to my ego that Jonas was denying me. However, I found it sexy, and it only gave more truth to what I’d thought.
Although I topped Jonas, fucking him royally for almost twenty out of the thirty hours we had together in my home, he’d ruled me. Jonas had me in his clutches and under his control. Why else would I even consider Santiago’s horrible idea?
Because my head wasn’t on straight. It was in a fucked up lustful fog, clouding my perceptions, not allowing me to think clearly. Other than my niece’s welfare, I cared for little else and with her in Sarah’s capable hands; it gave me the freedom to once again act like a prepubescent teen with his or her first crush.
It was maddening.
Downright sickening.
And yet, I couldn’t help myself. I wouldn’t because dammit, I was Myles Greyson and I wouldn’t allow this desire to beat me unless I could get what I wanted out of it first.
So, instead of sitting on the couch brooding, I hopped up and headed to the kitchen to see what Jonas was doing. When I spotted him, he was leaning against my counter, sipping on a beer and staring out the window to his left. From my vantage point, Jonas was sporting a massive hard on and my cock immediately took notice of that fact.
Wanting to get a closer look, I stepped over to him, eying his full muscular frame. I caught the small patch of hair peeking from his tight dress shirt.
Jonas’s slacks fit him like a glove, perfectly tailored to his ass and legs, just above his ankles. Seeing him dress formally was almost as much of a pleasure as seeing him naked.
“The bedroom is not in here.” I folded my arms.
Jonas nodded, not meeting my gaze. “Yeah, I took a detour.”
“Because drinks are more important right now?”
“No, because I thought I’d give Santiago the space he needed.” Jonas turned up the bottle until he’d drained its contents.
“You’re a good man. Being so patient with him. You seem to know him better than I do.”
Jonas shrugged. “I’m used to it I suppose. I love him so of course I’m going to do what I can to support him.”
“And will you do what you can to support me?”
After grabbing another beer, Jonas eyed me curiously. “That’s if you want me to.”
“I do want that.”
“You sure? Because the last time I was here, you wanted Santiago to move here without me.”
“I realize that can’t happen now. He can’t and won’t live here even if we did try this thing together.”
“Yep. So that means…”
“It means I will let go of my proposition and look for alternatives.”
Jonas didn’t respond to my comment. Instead, he continued drinking his beer.
Surveying Jonas, I swiped my tongue over my lips and moaned low under my breath. Looking at his throat move, Adam’s apple bobbing as he gulped his brew was highly erotic in its own way and I couldn’t help reacting.
I cleared my throat. “You know how to kill someone slowly don’t you?”
After downing the last of his beer, Jonas laughed. His sea blue eyes finally met mine. “Why, Mr. Greyson, I know not what you’re speaking of,” Jonas said in a country, southern belle drawl.
“Cute.” I pushed myself off my side of the counter and sauntered over to Jonas. Although I was slightly shorter, it didn’t matter. I grabbed the back of his head and pulled until our mouths were plastered together. Our tongues danced with one another as if they were an entity all their own.
Jonas yanked me in until our bodies crashed against one another. His hands fiddled with my sweatpants until he could get his fingers underneath the material and onto my skin.
Feeling heady, I gasped into his mouth and sucked on his tongue tasting the beer and a hint of spearmint gum. With the combination of his kisses and touches, sensations zipped from my lips, to my nipples and cock, making me harder. I groaned into his embrace and trapped him against the granite behind him. I rubbed my body against his, frantically craving a release.
“Fuck, Myles.” Jonas pressed his mouth against mine, then shoved me away just as I was on the way to climaxing.
“You’re stopping,” I said through hitched breaths, swallowing hard to regain my self-control.
“Yes. Why don’t we wait to be with Santiago? Then we could all be together. Like we should be,” Jonas’s breath was ragged, his lips swollen from our kiss. Even with our clothes still on, Jonas appeared to be well fucked.
If that was the case, surely I looked a sight. My jaws and my chest ached from breathing hard and crushing our lips together, but I didn’t want to let go. I eyed him and dove into him again, devouring his mouth as if nothing else mattered. I settled both my arms on his shoulders, toying with the small amount of hair between his neck and head.
“Myles, damn, ah fuck.” Jonas dislodged his mouth from mine, then trailed kisses from my lips, over the curve of my jawline to my ear.
I hissed in pleasure while still bracing myself for my orgasm on the horizon. Although he’d brought up the prospects of all of us being in bed for the first time, I didn’t want
to wait. My brain was in overdrive, only thinking of getting off with him as we’d done a little over a week ago.
“Myles, please…”
I said nothing, only cutting off his pleading with another kiss along with subsequent brushes of my dick against his slack clad thigh. I was there. I could sense it coming with my balls drawing up against my body and my ass clenching. Heat surrounded us and I gnashed my teeth, knowing he was there as was I. We’d have this moment no matter what. I was determined for it to happen.
“God, Jonas.” I kissed him once, then reached down between us, fiddling with his zipper. I pulled it, then caressed his bulge through his pants, before slipping my hand inside to grasp his shaft.
“Myles. Oh God.” Jonas moaned into my kisses, then yanked my pants down along with my underwear. With ease, he lifted me off my feet, cradling my buttocks in his hands.
While one arm remained around his neck, I grasped both of our cocks in my palm, jerking both in the same motion while I frantically locked lips with him.
“I’m gonna… oh shit, Myles.” Jonas kept his voice low, even though I was sure he wanted to scream, as did I. I moved into him, thrusting my dick along with his, rubbing the tips with my thumb and feeling the pre-come weep from the slits.
“Damn you, Jonas. Damn you for making me into a sex crazed idiot,” I whispered in between kisses, thrashing my tongue against his. Sweat beaded on my head and the back of my neck, on down to my lower torso. Only a matter of time before I’d explode in my hand and on him.
“Your fault. You wouldn’t stop,” Jonas said to me, still ravaging my mouth as if it was a meal he wished to devour.
I nodded in agreement. Feeling my climax reaching its highest peak, I pulled away and gnashed my teeth together, grunting, clenching while I spilled into my hand. I heaved air in and out, closing my eyes tight, watching the colors erupting behind my eyelids.
In only moments, Jonas did the same, rewarding me with his sweet release. I licked the sweat off his forehead and nose, then dragged my mouth back down to his, sharing the moisture with him. While we continued, I pulled my hand up and thrust my fingers into his mouth.
