by Reece Dinn
'You are. Your mother is wrong. I've always known it. You're good a lad. One day you'll be a good man too.'
Awon stopped laughing, the smile fading from his lips. 'What'd ma say?'
His father panicked. 'Doesn't matter.'
'Like fuck it doesn't. What'd she say?'
His father hesitated, fiddling with his fingers.
Awon frowned. 'Spit it out, fat man.'
'Once, when you were a boy, you brought a domgas in off the street. She told you to get rid of it. You told her you would. So you went out the back of the shop and got my cleaver, brought it, and the dogmas, back to her. Then you pinned the animal to the ground and hacked it to pieces, right in front of your mother, laughing while you did it. The dogmas screamed. Your mother screamed, pleading for you to stop, but you didn't listen, just kept hacking it to pieces until it was a bloody mess on the floor.'
'I remember that. It was doin' that that made me want to be a butcher like you. Was fun.' Awon smiled, proud of the memory.
'Your mother called you a monster. Couldn't look at you. Said we should give you to the Koku. That only they could save you. Cure you. I said you're my son. That I wasn't handing you over to anyone. The next day she was gone.'
Awon stayed quiet a moment, staring into his father's eyes.
'She's wrong, son,' his father continued. 'You have your flaws, but you are a good lad. You just need to learn to behave. It's an illness. But we can find the cure. I know it. Just don't die. Please.'
Awon leaned back in his chair, folding his arms. 'I think ma knows me better than you, fat man. Maybe I am a monster.'
'No, you're not.'
'Maybe. Reckon she's more right then you though. Don't care really. Rather be a monster than a soft cunt like you.'
'Son, please.'
'I ain't snitchin'. If they kill me fer it then maybe I deserve it. Monsters need killin', eh?' Awon smiled as wickedly as he could at his father.
His father reached out to touch his son's arm, but couldn't reach. 'You're not a monster. I know what you've done, you've done to help me, in your own stupid way. This is all just a big mistake. Please, don't die for it.'
'I ain't helpin' yer, fat man. Yer were jus' a good way fer me ter get in tight with Big Red. Yer useless ter me now.'
'Son. Don't say things you don't mean. I know what you were doing. I understand now. I don't know why you decided to do things this way, but you did them for the right reasons. For good reasons.'
Awon huffed, growing tired of his father's pleading. 'Maybe I jus' needed an excuse ter kill someone. Didn't kill the lad I wanted ter, but I got someone. Gonna kill more before I'm dead too.'
His father rubbed his eyes as another tear ran down his cheek.
'I'm going to speak with the Konar-chase here,' said his father. 'See if he'll let me pay your bail in instalments, if you have bail. I'm going to be working for Tomo a few streets over for a couple of days. Light work until I'm better, then I'll be working for him full time. I'll get you out of here. Just please, confess. Or lie. Say you had nothing to do with any of this.'
'Now yer jus' talkin' shit, fat man.' He leaned forward, menacingly. 'They ain't killin' me. I'll get outta here, but I'll 'ave ter kill some people ter do it, I reckon. It'll be too late after that. The “good boy” will be dead fer good. Got some scores ter settle'. A lot of scores if you include the bastard PLA.'
Awon's father clutched his son's hand. 'Awon. Son. Please. Stop it.'
Awon yanked his hand free, pushed his chair back and stood up. 'We're done in here,' he shouted.
His father rose. 'Don't do anything stupid, son. I'll get you out. I promise.'
'Look after yerself, fat man. This'll be the last time we talk. Ma was right. Forget 'bout me. One way or another yer son is dead. Go start a new life. Get a new family. Forget 'bout me. We're done.'
Tears streamed down his father's face. He tried to say something, but all that came out was a croak. The door opened and Fenon entered. He glanced at Awon, then at Awon's father.
'Come on, lad,' Fenon said, ushering Awon out of the room.
'Forget 'bout me,' Awon called to him as he stepped into the corridor.
Before his father could reply Fenon slammed the door shut.
Chapter Seventeen
Holi reached for her face. Kanisha trembled, dreading his cold, coarse fingertips touching her skin. There was dirt beneath his fingernails. A cut on the tip of his middle finger, a thin scab half sealing it. They smelt of smoke from the fire he'd just made. Nausea made her dizzy. She tried to force it down, but the nearer his fingers came the harder it was to maintain control. The trembling grew worse. Her hands shook in her lap. It took all her strength not to slap away Holi's oncoming hand.
She breathed in deep.
His fingertips brushed the side of her face.
She panicked, but forced herself not to scream.
His fingers pressed lightly into her cheek.
She screamed, lashing out in a wild panic as she dragged herself across the cave floor to escape.
Holi's watched her curiously with those grey eyes of his, his hand hanging in the air.
Kanisha attempted to calm herself, taking long, deep breaths. She pulled her legs into her chest and wrapped her arms tight around them.
Why? Why must they touch? Why touch at all? To express intimacy and comfort? Affection? It is preposterous. Emotion can be expressed with words, with action. She shivered at the thought of his fingers touching her again.
'You did not defecate this time,' said Holi, his voice calm and even, as always. 'I shall consider that progress.'
The dim twilight shone through the waterfall cascading down in front of the cave's mouth, the occasional drop splashing onto the rock floor. The cave was a small opening in the cliff face, dark and dank, but clean. Nothing lived inside, to Kanisha's relief. She just hoped nothing returned in the middle of the night.
'What is it that terrifies you about another person's touch?' asked Holi.
Kanisha shrugged, still hugging her legs.
Holi scratched his temple. 'Did something happen to you as a child? A man force himself upon you?'
'No.'
'Did your mother beat you?'
'Of course not.'
'Another child?'
She shook her head.
'Then what is it?'
'It is disgusting.'
'What disgusts you about it?'
'All of it.'
Holi folded his arms. 'Your mission shall involve touching people in some capacity on occasion. If you are to blend into your environment you shall have to overcome this disgust.'
'You have not previously stated that my mission involves touching others. I will not do it.' She buried her face into her knees.
'Your family's livelihood depends upon it, Kanisha,' said Holi.
'As I have said. You hurt them, you die.'
'It is not me who shall hurt them.'
She lifted her head from her knees. 'Be that as it may. If they are hurt, I shall kill you.'
He clicked his fingers and pointed to the spot before him. Reluctantly, she shuffled back to him. Taking another deep breath she crossed her legs and tried to relax.
'This time you are not to run away. If you do so I shall pursue and persist in touching you for a minute longer each time that you do run. Do you understand?'
Kanisha swallowed hard and gave a small nod. I cannot do this. Why must you make me do this?
'Shall we proceed?' Holi asked, his tone bored.
'No.' She took another deep breath.
Holi reached out with his hand. Kanisha didn't take her eyes off it.
His hand touched her face.
Her mouth filled with bile.
Koma and the Monster followed Lerama and the handmaidens trailing her as they ventured through the city. Guards surrounded them on all sides, clinking as they walked, the noise intolerable. The only thing that annoyed Koma more was Lerama's chattering handmaidens. Do they no
t annoy her?
The streets of the Upper Tier were full of people admiring the many lanterns hanging from every building in honour of the dead for the Festival of Dark. Several lanterns hung outside some buildings. Many people must have died inside them. The lanterns came in many different shapes, sizes, and colours. Some had small, crude portraits painted on them. Others had writing on them that Koma didn't understand, she assumed it was the Predemagdan written language. The Shadows should probably have taught me that. No doubt they were epitaphs to loved ones, and other such tedious things.
Lerama silently admired the lanterns as she waved to people she passed by. It'd surprised Koma that the Socrae-al hadn't joined them, not that it mattered. The Monster hadn't shut up about him since they'd left the palace, whispering quietly in her ear.
'Every night this moon I've had to eat with them. With him,' the Monster whispered. 'He speaks like he saved the world from some dire threat. He won a couple of skirmishes on the Olsap plateau when he was first made a Socrae-tu. Not even a major battle. He talks all the time about his youth in the army. His adventures and escapades from long ago. Do you know how old he actually is?'
Koma shook her head. But I'm sure you do.
'Forty seven,' the Monster continued when Koma didn't respond. 'He's ancient. My mother is thirty eight. That's a near ten year difference. If I were to court someone ten years my junior there'd be outrage.'
'It is different when you are their age, Sabu. They're both adults. You'd be courting a child. They call that paedophilia in my homeland. It is wrong.' Although knowing you backwards people it's probably acceptable to do here.
'What does it mean? Paedosomething. Whatever it is you said,' the Monster asked.
'A molester of children,' Koma replied, trying to hide the boredom from her voice.
'What a disgusting thing. Why would you have a word dedicated to child molestation?'
'To brand people with.'
'Where is your homeland again?'
Koma pointed to a large yellow lantern with a red face painted on the side of it. 'Who do you think that has been lit for?'
The Monster regarded the lantern. 'How should I know?' she snapped. 'I don't know who every person who lives in this city is.' She looked away, grumbling.
Good. That shut her up for a couple of minutes at least.
Lerama suddenly cried out. Her guards burst into action, rifles at the ready, aimed in all directions, scanning for threats.
'Get that off that wall this instance,' Lerama snapped, pointing angrily at the side of a building.
On the wall was the image of a man in armour with a large penis in coitus with a naked blonde woman on all fours. There was some writing alongside it, which although Koma couldn't read it she had an idea what was written. The Saban and the Socrae-al.
Lerama's handmaidens gasped. The Monster giggled, hiding her mouth behind her good hand. Koma did her best not to.
People nearby looked to Lerama with big smiles, some laughing. When Lerama's glare fell on them though they looked away.
'You wish us to remove it, Saban?' asked one of the Guards.
'Not you. Order whoever owns this building to remove it at once,' yelled Lerama, her face flushed.
'They're all over the city,' someone in the crowd shouted.
'Who said that?' hissed Lerama.
Her Guards marched into the crowd, trying to pinpoint the culprit. No one came forward.
Two Konar on burmaback rode over to Lerama. They spoke quietly for a moment then Lerama pointed again to the graffiti on the wall. The Konar nodded and rode to the building to investigate further.
'Guards, return. We're moving on,' ordered Lerama, regaining her composure. She folded her arms tightly, and when the Guards had reorganized themselves they moved on.
The Monster hurried after her mother. Koma increased her pace too.
'Who would do that?' the Monster asked her mother.
'I know exactly who's done this. And rest assured he will be dealt with,' Lerama snarled.
'Who is it?'
Shonmu. Obviously. Displaying another example of the pitfalls of democracy. Someone painted something like that about the Emperor whole villages would be razed to the ground. Entire bloodlines eradicated. And with good reason. How can a society allow its citizens to ridicule its leaders? If the heads of government aren't feared and respected then how can they possibly rule?
'It doesn't matter, Saima,' snapped Lerama. 'This doesn't concern you.'
'But you're my mother.'
'ENOUGH.'
Everyone around stopped, all eyes falling on to Lerama and her daughter.
Lerama turned to the nearest Guard. 'We are done her. We'll return to the palace at once. Our guests will be arriving soon. I wish to be ready.'
'Yes, Saban.' The Guard saluted and yelled an order to his men.
Lerama stormed past both the Monster and Koma, her eyes fixed on the ground.
I hope she has the conviction to actually punish Shonmu. This'll be a big blow for her if she doesn't. And will she deny her affair with the Socrae-al again? Koma rubbed her hands together gleefully. The savages' politics are more amusing than I first thought.
Everyone waited outside the palace gates as the large wooden effigy was rolled to the tier's edge for the whole city to see, pulled along by ten red robed Koku. Guards stood alert, scanning the darkness beyond the perimeter of lanterns for threats.
Koma huffed, wishing for it to be done already so she could go back inside. The evening air held a chill that she didn't care for.
The effigy rolled to a stop.
One of the red robed Koku, a scion of Rudai, approached Lerama with an unlit torch. The Koku glistened with sweat, his robes wet all over. With the rock in his other hand he hit the sieppi stone at the torch's end, once, twice, then it ignited in a blaze. Lerama took it and walked to the effigy.
'Tonight, we send this offering to Rudai, in honour of the late Saban Lomobu,' said the Koku-rai, appearing from amongst the crowd to stand before them. He too was dressed in red robes.
They certainly spend a lot of time honouring their dead. What's the point? They're up in the heavens now, serving the Ragi. Honouring them does nothing. Koma scratched her chin irritably. She longed for home tonight even more so than usual, her thoughts with her mother and sisters. They'd like this. A burning effigy. I remember when there'd been a forest fire the year before I left. Jayeh had jumped up and down with glee as the fire had spread, ignoring the fact that it was creeping closer and closer to our home. Her little face had been alive. I still wonder if she started it.
Lerama reached the effigy and placed the torch at its feet. The effigy instantly caught fire. Lerama backed away, returning to stand beside the Koku-rai. Flames quickly consumed it, the fire blazing high, smoke billowing up in a thick column over the city.
'Rudai has blessed our offering,' said the Koku-rai. 'It is a sign that our beloved Saban has returned to the world, and is being cared for by the gods.'
Or you covered the thing in oil so that it'd burn brightly and quickly. It's not like you used dragonfire. Koma folded her arms. Her stomach grumbled. She hadn't eaten anything since breakfast. Going to have to watch them gorge themselves for the next few hours while I starve. No doubt the only thing that will be leftover is cold soup. Maybe I can sneak away.
Everyone watched the effigy burn in silence.
The Monster whimpered beside her. Koma shot her a look, then, realising why she was crying, did her best to soften her expression to something resembling compassion. The Monster wiped her eyes with the back of her good hand.
'You okay, Sabu?' asked Koma as softly as she could.
'I miss him so much. Why did he have to die?' the Monster whined.
'People die. It's life. He's returned to the world now.' No. He'll be on the front lines of the Ragi's army in the Great War, being used as fodder so the real soldiers can break through. He's probably been obliterated already. Reduced to ether.
&nbs
p; The Monster wiped her nose with a handkerchief. 'But why did he have to die now. I still need him.'
'He taught you everything you need. You'll be a great Saban, just like him.' When you burn in the dragonfire.
'You think so?'
'I know so.'
'Is everything okay, Sabu?' asked the Qotan, appearing from behind the Monster. His old robe looked even tattier up close.
'Just thinking about my father, Qotan,' said the Monster.
The Qotan put an arm around her, giving her a squeeze. 'We're all mourning the loss of your father. He'll never be forgotten.'
Only he will. Soon you'll all be ash and dust. Koma took a step back to allow them a little privacy. It's disturbing how freely these savages talk around their servants. It's like they have no sense of deception at all. Good for me, bad for them.
After a short while Lerama invited everyone to return to the palace. The feast was ready to be served.
Koma breathed a sigh of relief.
Her mouth watered. Somehow this was even grander than Lomobu's funeral feast. Tray after tray of succulent meats and dishes covered the tables. The savages devoured them like animals plunging their heads into carcasses. I hope there's some of that risotto leftover. Looks delicious. She'd seen it served before but had never tried it. She'd thought about trying to coerce one of the young chefs into making it for her, but the thought of having to talk to them made her grimace. She rested her head against the wall and gazed up to the ceiling, trying not to think of her grumbling stomach.
Lerama's three handmaidens giggled together beside her. They're so tedious. Makes me want to rip my hair our and eat it. They giggled again. What is it they find so funny? Their own stupidity? Koma couldn't remember the last time she'd genuinely laughed.
The Monster picked at her plate of white meat and steaming greens, staring absently down at it. If she wastes another plate of food I'm going to stab her with a fork. Koma leaned around the side of the Monster's chair. 'Not hungry, Sabu? Your mother will be concerned if you don't eat.'
'I'm not hungry,' she said.
Then give it to me. 'Would you like me to bring you something else? Wine, perhaps?' She forced herself not to smirk.
