When he gripped my elbows, it was tighter than I expected.
“Tessa. You agreed not to see me? Is that why you never reached out to me?” His hands shot up and laced behind his head as he breathed.
My tears dried up instantly; he was going to leave again… I could feel it.
“Tessa! Do you know what you’ve done? I’d walk away from this fucking record label in a second if it means being with you. But…” his voice cracked. “This includes Dirk and Tyler. This isn’t just about me.”
His Adam’s apple jutted out and back in.
“I’m sorry!” I cried. “I was seventeen and…”
“Tessa? Are you OK?” A woman’s voice whispered from behind me. It was Hannah. Worry etched wrinkles over her face.
“I will be. What difference does it make to you?” I asked, as Bodhi’s eyes darted back and forth between us.
Her brown eyebrows pulled together. “You just seem upset, honey.”
Baffled over her concern, I offered her a smile and turned back to Bodhi. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say. This is like a really bad dream that I can’t wake up from.”
He raked his fingers through his hair. “I have to go. I have to speak with the guys. With our manager. I don’t know what…” His words trailed off.
“Don’t go…”
“I have to. I’ve got to figure this out. I won’t live like this…with him constantly threatening us.”
With his fingertips, he brushed lightly over my lips and then turned and strolled out, a man on a mission.
Chapter 36—Bodhi~ My Slick
Ever since driving away from Ashby Enterprises nine days ago, life had been a whirlwind of meetings, concerts, driving and more meetings. Tessa and I had only texted twice and it went something like this.
ME: Hey Slick, I will figure this out.
HER: Bodhi. Just don’t text. I won’t be the reason you and the guys
lose this.
So… I didn’t text back. It pissed me off that she had so little faith in me and our love. Of course I would figure this out. There was no way in hell she could possibly understand what I felt for her if she was willing to let this go. I had enough faith and love for the both of us.
Everything I needed was prepared and ready to go. This was the last of my meetings and it was completely personal. Everything I was about to do could alter things forever. When I rang the bell of the beautiful brownstone in Boston, my pulse pounded in my ears.
The door slowly opened, and there she stood—my beautiful girl, only 20 years older in life. An exact replica of Tessa. The waves of hair. The beautiful brown eyes staring at me—her secret clearly exposed. I knew it that day at Ashby Enterprises.
“Bodhi.” She breathed. “What are you doing here?”
Just the fact that she remembered my name spoke volumes.
I swallowed. “You’re her mother aren’t you?”
A cold breeze blew between us, but when her chin trembled and she opened the door for me to come in, it solidified it.
When I hit Tessa’s name on my phone and it started ringing, I knew this was probably class time, but I crossed my fingers that she would answer. She didn’t. So I called again.
“Bodhi. I’m in class,” she whispered.
“I need you to step out.”
She didn’t say anything more but didn’t hang up either, so I figured she was doing as I asked.
“What’s wrong?” Her voice was louder.
“What’s the possibility of you driving to Boston? I know it’s four hours but I’ll be waiting.”
I hung on the silence, brutally anticipating her answer. I knew she loved me enough to let me go so I could have my career, but I loved her enough to fight for both.
“Where do I meet you?”
A mile-wide smile spread across my face. “Ashby Enterprises.”
Met with another bout of silence…I chewed on the side of my lip.
“Bodhi…” she whispered. Hearing my name on her lips was something I would never tire of.
“Trust me, Slick.”
“I’ll see you in closer to five.”
“Thank you,” I whispered.
Hannah, who I knew now to be Tessa’s biological mother, had made sure that any scheduled meeting for Ethan Ashby was cancelled so he was completely freed up this afternoon. I texted her to let her know Tessa was with me and that we were on our way in. I glanced at her as we walked past and gave her a wink. She nodded nervously.
“Hi,” Tessa said softly, with a slight wave. How did Tessa not see the resemblance?
When I opened the door to her father’s office, he looked up from behind his desk with a pair of glasses sitting low on his nose. He took them off and tossed them onto some papers on his desk appearing almost amused.
“Well now. What do we have here?” He stood and strolled around the desk.
“Mr. Ashby. I am trying to do this as respectfully as possible. I’d prefer to do it with your blessing but if that doesn’t happen then we will do it without.”
His shit eating grin was so damn annoying that I wanted to fucking punch it off his face.
“Rockaway Records is a pretty big company. They have contracts with bands that make ours look like a joke. And fortunately ones that we’ve opened for and are willing to go out on a limb for us. This…” I held up the contract. “This is the O-Seed’s new contract signed and dated two days ago that has zero to do with you or Tessa. Frankly, they don’t give a shit if you give them money or not…the bands that we know…they care more about.”
Tessa’s grip on my hand tightened as she braced herself for his response. I wasn’t waiting.
“This is a copy of the illegal forged documents that I was served ordering me to stay away from Tessa. Papers that she never signed.” I tossed them on his desk.
“This is a copy of the fraudulent papers indicating that I was indicted and sentenced of a crime—possession of cocaine—that I didn’t commit or get convicted for.” These papers joined the growing pile.
“And last but not least. This,” I said, waving more papers. “This is a very real restraining order. Three to be exact. You are no longer allowed contact with Tessa, myself, or…”
I walked cautiously to the door and opened it. Thank God she was waiting…
“Or Hannah.”
Tessa’s eyes widened and the room fell deathly quiet. Carefully, I measured her response as I stood close to her.
“Hannah.” Ethan Ashby’s breathy voice held a warning.
“Tessa,” I interrupted. "I need to explain something to you and I can only hope that it will make you happy. But I’m not sure,” I said to try and ease her into the news I was about to break.
Mr. Ashby laced his fingers behind his head and turned toward the window, staring out the glass. His fucked up, warped life and illusion of control was coming to an end and he knew it. Control is an illusion mother fucker!
“I’m your mother,” Hannah murmured before I could tell Tessa. I winced before backing up—giving Hannah a visual of her daughter.
Tessa’s eyes narrowed, puzzled. “What?” she whispered.
Trying to support her, I rested my palm at the small of her back, not refuting the words.
“I was in love with your father, Tessa. And he married your…he married Elizabeth…and.”
“Hannah,” Mr. Ashby warned with a shake of his head.
All of our eyes darted to the man standing at the window. Fury laced over his brow, his eyes narrowed to angry slits. Taking a decorative rock in his hands, he forcefully slammed the stone onto a small table behind his desk splitting it. The loud crack of wood in the closed office made us all jolt. Instinctively, I yanked Tessa behind me.
“You’re losing control, Mr. Ashby. You know it and I know it. Your entire manipulative and poorly put together pathetic life is crumbling around you.” Tessa’s fingers weaved through mine reminding me why I was here. This was not my agenda…well, not entirely.
“Please,” I continued directing my words at him. “Please, find the courage to face what is important here.” I casted a glance toward Tessa, but his black eyes didn’t waiver.
“Tessa,” I said, anger growing inside me that he wouldn’t man the hell up. “Since he obviously isn’t going to tell you the truth, let me do the honors. It seems your father was actually a victim of circumstance too. When he was 18, his parents entered into an agreement with the affluent Harlow family—that your father would marry Elizabeth Harlow. She was 16 at the time. Under their arrangement, they could not marry until Elizabeth was 21. The marriage would give your father, and by extension your grandparents, a boost up the social ladder.”
“You’ve done a little research, Mr. Ellingston. I wonder where you got your information,” Ethan said, his violent stare meeting Hannah’s.
Tessa continued to throw glances at both her father and me trying to put this ridiculous puzzle together.
“Truth is, baby, your father is no different than us. Even though his future was all tied up in a neat little package, he fell in love with Hannah. Crazy in love. But his parents pressured him into going through with the marriage. Unlike you, he didn’t back out.”
“It was all about the money for him,” Hannah whispered with a tight jaw. “I had nothing to offer.”
Suddenly, his chair went flying across the room when he kicked it. Thank God not near any of us, but Tessa shot to her feet.
When his shoulders slumped, I stepped back. Defeat was plastered across his face. Twenty-one years of holding this secret had to have been a burden. The opportunity for him to release it stood wide open before him.
“Tessa.” He addressed her softer than I’d ever heard before. “Sit down please.”
Unsure, she sat on the edge of the hard leather chair, and I stayed beside her.
“Hannah and I loved each other very much. I married Elizabeth because…” he paused.
“She had a lot of money,” Hannah repeated.
Mr. Ashby stared at Hannah for a few moments with a sadness touching his features.
“It wasn’t all about the money. But yes, when you come from wealth, there are expectations that come with that. And with that expectation came responsibility. Elizabeth presented opportunity, and I chose that over love.” He released a long breath. “Then, Hannah got pregnant. With you. I would never have let her go through that alone.”
Tessa’s tear-filled eyes flitted to her mother. “You gave me to them?”
There were no accusations or even guilt in her words…simply a question.
“No, honey. Your father.” Hannah closed her eyes. “Yes, in a sense. I did. But,Tessa. I didn’t want to!” she cried.
Mr. Ashby dragged his hands down his face.
“Tessa. Your mother didn’t want you around and...”
“I wanted her!” Hannah interjected. “It was Elizabeth who didn’t want her!”
“Correct. Elizabeth. For the first five years, I shared you with Hannah. You lived with her. And she loved you so much. We both did.”
“What happened?” Tessa’s voice broke.
“Tessa. Elizabeth didn’t want children and…” Mr. Ashby explained.
“Especially not one that wasn’t hers!” Tessa shouted. “I knew all along. I knew that I was never a part of you two. And you,” she directed toward her father. “Just because I wasn’t Mom’s, or whoever she is, doesn’t mean you couldn’t have been nice to me! Loved me?”
Tessa shot upright and careened across the room. I hated to see her so upset, but maybe this would help her move forward. I needed her whole and healed.
“I had no one! You wouldn’t let me come home. Other girls, their parents came to see them and they went home on breaks. I was just there. I existed in my own little lonely world. Thank God for Aunt Di and Elle because they were the only family I ever had…until I met Bodhi. And even then, you couldn’t afford me the opportunity to be happy!”
Veins protruded over her temples and I crept closer to her.
“And Christopher? Did you want me to follow in the same footsteps as you and fall into a loveless marriage?”
“Tessa Faith, it was all I knew. After Hannah, after you went to Overton…I shut down. It became all about business. I didn’t know how to be a father. Elizabeth and I were miserable. So Christopher was…”
“What you thought was best for me? You were so happy with yourself after walking away from the woman you loved and your baby you thought that I should do the same thing?”
Mr. Ashby’s fist pounded on the desk, startling all of us.
“No! Christopher was my chance to make it up to you. He could have provided you with the life you deserve.”
The hair on my neck stood. I’d had enough. That dickweed wasn’t getting any credit in this shit.
“The life she deserved?” I yelled. “That was her choice. And she deserved to be loved. Not used as a business deal!” Blood swooshed in my ears I was so angry.
“I am loved,” she whispered as she touched my chin and drew my attention back to her. “I will always be loved, now.”
She wound her arms around my waist and shimmied up next to me. I took full advantage and held her calming myself.
Hannah’s soft voice broke the silence.
“Tessa. I’d like a chance to get to know you. To apologize. To make up for what you’ve been through. Though I know that will never be possible.”
Desperation clung to her words.
“Look, I vaguely remember you and I’m not trying to be mean. But I’m trying hard to process everything that has been said here. And I’m still trying to adjust to what I’ve learned. I’m not saying no,” Tessa explained. “This is all just so much and…”
Hannah nodded. “I know. I know. It’s OK. Please just consider what I’m saying.”
“Tessa.” Mr. Ashby’s voice interrupted. “I need you to know that I’ve taken care of Hannah. Through pictures, she was able to watch you grow.”
“Ash…don’t,” Hannah whispered.
“Your mother,” he sighed, his eyes burning into Hannah then flickering back to Tessa. “God she loved you so very much. Your first five years—she has it all captured on video, scrapbooks.”
“Why didn’t you just let her have me?” she asked her father.
He took off his suit jacket and tossed it on his desk.
“You tell her Ash. Tell her,” Hannah demanded.
“I never wanted anyone else to take Hannah from me,” he said flatly. “So I kept you as a bargaining chip.”
“Basically, I had no money to fight for you, and he had the world or so it seemed, on his side. So, I stayed, clinging to any hope that I might see you. The chances he dangled in front of me.”
“I was torn between two lives,” Ethan hissed.
“Poor you,” Hannah quipped with distaste dripping from her words.
Mr. Ashby’s eyes met hers. “When I married Elizabeth, I became horrible. A tyrant. My life wasn’t what I wanted it to be so I made everyone else’s miserable.”
Tessa’s focus turned to her mother.
Hannah cleared her throat and walked toward her. “I cannot imagine how you feel right now. The woman you thought to be your mother, is not. The things you are hearing are very difficult to process. But, you have a chance at real happiness. You have the love of a good man who is willing to sacrifice it all for you. For your love.”
Hannah squeezed my shoulder, and I gave her a tight-lipped smile.
“This,” she continued, pointing back and forth between herself and Mr. Ashby. “This will work itself out in time. We have the beauty of having time to talk. Never walk away from the one that you love. Ever.”
Tessa rose to her feet and turned to Hannah, who covered her eyes hiding her emotion.
“Please be patient with me while I sort through all of this,” Tessa whispered.
“Honey, I’ve waited 21 years for you, I’m not going anywhere now. I’ll be right here when you are ready.”
/>
Tessa threw a sad look over her shoulder toward her father, who stayed quiet.
She gave him nothing…nada…nil…zilch. Her eyes spoke volumes and her mother was right, we weren’t going to waste another minute. My arm snaked around her waist and we headed toward the door.
“Tessa,” her father pled.
After brushing a simple kiss over her forehead, I slowly turned to him.
“All things wrong can be made right. Make this right,” I said and walked out his door.
Before the door closed, I heard Ethan Ashby whisper, “Hannah.”
That man had walked away from the woman he loved 21 years ago and had regretted it every day since. There was no way in hell I was walking away from my girl…ever. We would get through this. She was mine. My Tessa. My Slick.
Epilogue—Tessa
“Daddy!” Madelyn squealed when her father pulled up in a new Jeep that he had insisted on buying for her.
I smiled as I saw him flip his hat backward before he lifted her off the ground. After 18 years of marriage and two kids, watching him flip the hat still made my abdomen clench.
“Seriously?” Turk asked with little brother attitude. “That totally blows that she gets a Jeep.”
I grabbed ahold of the bro tank he was wearing and yanked him toward me. “You are fourteen and I don’t want to hear you talk like that, understood?”
Turk, named after the boys from the O-Seed, was a more perfectly chiseled image of his father. He lowered his head but nodded.
“What’s going on?” Bodhi asked, now at my side, clearly seeing the altercation.
“Turk?” I questioned, forcing him to tell his father.
“I said it blows that she gets the Jeep and I don’t.”
Bodhi ruffled Turk’s blonde hair, tolerating his mouth more than I did. “Watch your mouth around your mother, and I bet you inherit it.” Bodhi winked.
I was around them more than he was. For the first two years of our marriage and the first five years of Madelyn’s life, we traveled with the O-Seed. For the past 10 years, we stayed in southern California while the kids went to school. Bodhi traveled as little as possible but still hit the road when they toured.
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