“Very nice to meet you, Jill,” he whispered back as he leaned forward slightly and said it into her ear.
As she felt his breath on her neck, her whole body tingled.
“Very nice…” he said again as he took a step back and turned toward the rest of the bikers.
Jill watched him and the way he swaggered, and she knew she was in trouble.
“What’s your name?” Star chirped in eagerly.
He stopped in his tracks and turned slowly around, spraying up a light mist of sand as he did.
“Me?” he said with a wry drawl. “I’m Ax baby, and I’m back in town to hack away all the shit we don’t need.”
He was mean and menacing and completely dangerous. And with a name like Ax, Jill could only imagine what he was capable of.
Ax… the name sent a shiver down her spine.
Ax…
If she let him, he was going to hurt her, she could tell. And he could do some serious damage.
Be smart Jill, she told herself as she climbed into the driver’s seat and started the engine. Don’t do anything stupid.
But she wasn’t fooling anyone. Jill knew all too well, these things were much easier said than done.
5.
“Oh my God!” Star flapped as they both slid into an empty booth at the back of the diner and slumped down opposite each other and against the windows. “I mean, did you see that guy? He was like some big, sexy, hairy beast… I love it. He’s too gorgeous for his own good.”
Jill ran her hands through her hair and tried not to sound too impressed.
“He was pretty good looking, I guess,” she shrugged. “But they all are, really, don’t you think?”
Star’s eyes narrowed and Jill shrugged again.
“Well, yeah, I mean, of course, they’re all good looking,” Star agreed. “But that guy, I don’t know… he seemed different, didn’t you think?” She looked off into space for a moment and bit her lip as she grinned. “Maybe it was the beard… Dreamy…”
Jill could see the sparkle in her eye, and it was making her uncomfortable. When Star got excited about something, it seemed to be her main mission to ensure the entire world knew about it. And Jill could tell she was about to go off on one of her rants.
“I mean, damn,” Star laughed as she pulled the menu close to her and flipped it open. “I wish every guy who came into the club looked like him.”
Jill felt a heat rise underneath the thin skin on her chest and creep up toward her neck. She reached up and scratched it instinctively and realized she was blushing.
Star was looking down at the menu and humming to herself before she licked her top teeth and whistled to the waitress.
“Morning girls,” Arlene said.
She was older and looked half asleep, as if she had been working all night just like they had, but was no longer sprightly enough to stand the pace. The circles underneath her eyes were heavy and dark, and her hair was wiry and unkempt.
“Morning Arlene,” Jill smiled sympathetically. “Rough night?”
“Every night in here is,” she yawned. “But you’ve just got to get yourself through it, right girls?”
Star looked at Jill and then they both looked up to the aging waitress and smiled gently.
“Anyways, what can I get you?” she asked as she pulled her pen out from behind her ear and positioned it over her notepad.
Jill hadn’t even looked at the menu, not that she didn’t know it by heart, she had been in there so many times. But suddenly, after being ravenous before leaving the club, she couldn’t think of anything worse than shoveling food into her mouth.
“I’ll just take a strong coffee,” she said as she stifled a yawn and rubbed her eyes.
“Boring,” Star said as she flipped the menu shut. “I’ll take eggs, bacon, toast, the works. And OJ.”
Arlene smiled and made her way back to the counter. She dragged her feet behind her and Jill couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. Working nights was a killer, and she certainly hoped she wouldn’t be doing it at her age. The thought had never really occurred to her before, but thinking about her future and her job suddenly felt very real. Because deep down, she knew she couldn’t do it forever.
“She’s so fucking miserable,” Star whispered when Arlene was out of sight. “I mean, why work somewhere like this if you hate it? You never saw Tammy or Jamie complaining.” She shook her head and pulled her cell phone from her bag and started to read through her messages. Jill found herself ignoring her friend and staring into space.
The name was still rattling around her mind.
Ax… Ax… Ax…
Sharp and strong. Full of danger. She knew what they were all about in this town of hers, but for some reason, he felt different. And she wondered where he had been, and why he had deserved such a welcoming back like that. She had never seen any of The Forsaken Riders hang around to give anyone like that a reception. If they had, maybe she had always been too busy to notice, but Ax had certainly caught her attention. Not that she would ever admit it.
Arlene sidled up next to them and plonked a steaming cup of black coffee down in front of Jill and she picked it up, blew away as much heat as she could and drank a huge, warming sip.
“Thank you,” she smiled, not wanting to appear rude.
Star took her orange juice without even looking up at Arlene and Jill instantly felt embarrassed. Was there really any need to be so cruel to people? At the end of the day, wasn’t everyone just trying to do their best?
“I wonder what his deal is…” Star mused as she twirled a pink bendy straw around in her drink. “Wonder where he’s been hiding.”
Jill shrugged her shoulders and looked down at her coffee.
“Well, you’ve suddenly become the worst company on the planet,” Star said with a huff and crossed her arms over her heaving chest. “I mean, one minute, we’re having a laugh and coming for breakfast, the next you’re moping around and aren’t hungry. What’s the matter?”
Jill looked into Star’s eyes and searched for the words, but nothing would form. Her mind was swimming with so many thoughts, but not one of them would pull together coherently and it was making her want to cry.
“Listen,” she croaked. “I’m sorry, I don’t know, I must just be tired.”
Star looked at her dumbfounded and then she leaned back and rolled her eyes.
“I’m gonna head home,” Jill said. “You don’t mind, do you?”
Star snorted with a laugh and shook her head.
“Hell no,” she said. “If this is how you’re going to be, I’d get a better conversation out of Arlene,” she whispered.
Jill smiled and tried not to laugh.
“Sorry,” she said as she reached out and gave Star’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “I guess I should have learned by now that I’m not good at staying the pace after dawn.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Star said as she pulled off her jacket and settled into the booth, awaiting her meal.
Jill got to her feet and leaned over to hug her. Even though she was tired and grouchy, she didn’t want to upset Star, they were pretty much best friends after all.
“Will you be okay getting home?” Jill asked as she slung her purse over her shoulder.
“Of course I will,” Star grinned. “I’m only around the corner. Don’t be worrying about me.”
“Well, text me when you get there,” Jill said sternly.
Even though they were full grown adults and were more than capable of taking care of themselves, the girls still looked out for each other like they were flesh and blood.
“It’s broad daylight, mom,” Star said. “What’s the worst you think that can happen?” she winked.
“I dread to think,” Jill said sarcastically and she blew Star a kiss as she turned to walk away.
When she slipped behind the wheel of her car and started the engine, her brain was buzzing with thoughts and she slammed her palm against her temple to try and subdue them. The
feeling that was washing over her wasn’t a new one, and it was for that reason she was so disturbed.
She drove the short distance home and pulled into the familiar safety of her neighborhood. As she stopped in her driveway and looked up at her house, it was the first time in weeks that she had wished it wasn’t empty inside. She had a yearning to be coming home to someone, and it hit her hard. She felt the tears welling up behind her eyes and she bit her bottom lip to stop it from quivering. She didn’t miss Jack. And she never wanted to see him again. But there was a big part of her that was still alive when it came to love, as much as she tried to kill it and keep it buried. She didn’t have a heart of stone, as much as she may try to turn it and keep herself safe from any further hurt.
“Fuck’s sake,” she whispered as she turned off the ignition and wiped her eyes. She sucked in a lungful of air and took a moment to just breathe and re-center herself. It had been a long night, and it had been a tough one to cope with. What with the new security skimming money and the crowd being heavy and overbearing, could anyone really blame her for feeling like she had been put through the ringer?
She climbed out of the car and slammed the door. Her neighborhood was coming alive and she was just winding down. She could hear the sounds of sprinklers turning on, the chirping of birds, dogs barking, and somewhere in the distance, children laughing and singing. There were families all around her and yet, she lived such a solitary life now that she had no one to share it with.
She stepped toward her front door and the spring she had managed to keep in her step since she had thrown Jack out was finally dulling. She felt her shoulders hunch over and tiredness was claiming her. When she pushed open her door and went inside, she didn’t even bother turning on a light or opening the curtains. She threw her purse on the floor, kicked off her stilettos and practically crawled up the stairs before flopping down on her bed and closing her eyes. She wanted to sleep and her body was weary. But she knew her mind was going to keep her awake for a long time. And it wasn’t just because she felt alone. It was because she couldn’t stop thinking about the one man she knew she shouldn’t be thinking about.
Ax.
She had only been in his presence for a moment, but he had left a lasting impression. Star was right when she had said he was different than the others. There was something more rugged and intense about him. Something raw and untamed.
Jill rolled over and buried her head in the pillow. She didn’t want to be dreaming of a man who committed crimes and hurt people for a living. Being in a lawless bike gang was only going to mean trouble, and the last thing Jill needed was to involve herself with that.
“Bad boys…” she moaned as she covered her face. “Where did all the good guys go?”
But she had already thought she had found a good guy and look how that had turned out. It was a no win situation.
She pulled the pillow away from her face and hugged it to her chest. She may not have been open to discovering the possibility of what it would be like to date a biker, but at least she could pretend she was holding someone close.
The warmth from her own body being absorbed into the pillow was comforting, and it wasn’t long before she was able to switch off her thoughts and drift off peacefully to sleep.
6.
When she woke up, it wasn’t long past noon, and even though she had slept well, she knew it obviously wasn’t going to be enough.
Downstairs in the kitchen, she tied her hair up and opened the freezer. In the top drawer, she had two teaspoons waiting to place over her baggy and tired eyes. The cold would always sting for a second or two, but once that was over, it was one of the most refreshing feelings in the world. And after a long night of dancing in Tanner’s, it was the perfect way to wake up.
She collected her purse from beside the front door and opened it to see her cell phone. She had forgotten to take it up with her and when she pressed it so it came to life, she noticed she had a text from Star.
Hey MOM!! I’m home okay. Breakfast was lonely, can’t believe you bailed! I’ve spoken with King and I’m not going to be in tonight. Catch you later in the week. Mwah x
Jill flopped down on the couch and sighed. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing for Star to have a night off. Sometimes, Jill had started to think the bikers all classed them as being joined at the hip, and it was rare for Jill to go into work and not have Star right there by her side. In fact, she couldn’t remember the last time she had done a shift by herself. It must have been way back before Jack.
The creep of his name working its way back into her conscious thought made her want to scream. But she took a deep breath and looked around at her new front room. It was the perfect living space, all calm and serene. She had thrown out all of her junk and minimalized it all, whilst finding and refurbing some interesting antique pieces of furniture. It really had been the perfect project for her in her time of need. And she wasn’t ready to stop there.
She looked at the clock on the wall and yawned. The sun was blaring through the crack in the curtains and yet, she still didn’t want to go and open them. It was just past 1 p.m. and she knew she couldn’t just hang around the house all day, but at the same time, that was all she felt up to doing. She opened her purse back up and rooted around, her make-up bag was so swollen it looked as if it were about to burst the zipper, and the big wad of cash she had rolled up was still lying there at the bottom amongst a scatter of loose change, hair grips and packets of gum. As she dug around some more, she realized, without even really thinking about it, that something was different. Something was missing. She stopped and opened the bag wide before she squinted, but the light was too dull for her to see anything properly. She reached up and pulled open the curtains, to let in the sun and she turned back to look into her purse, her heartrate accelerating ever so slightly.
“Oh no, no, no,” she said as she furiously dug around. “Come on… Not that, anything but that…”
She had balled up the cash and shoved it into her bag… But she hadn’t collected her wallet.
“I must have left it in the changing room,” she said aloud as she slapped her palm on her forehead.
She started to retrace her steps, trying to remember where she had last seen it.
“Surely, I must have had it in the diner,” she said aloud to herself again. But then she remembered she had only ordered a coffee and she had left without paying, she must have let Star pick up the bill.
She sighed a heavy sigh and closed her eyes again. She had gone from feeling empowered and ready to take on anything to feeling as if she just wanted to crawl under a rock and die, and all in less than twenty-four hours.
Jill got to her feet and walked slowly to the foot of the stairs.
“Well, it looks as if I’m heading back to work,” she said moodily. “So much for my free day of relaxation.”
She pulled up outside Tanner’s and found herself yawning before she had even turned off the ignition. She was back in work that evening and she easily could have waited to collect her wallet then, but there were so many people in and out of there, she didn’t want to leave it to chance. Anyone could swipe it and she would never see it again. It didn’t matter that she had plenty of cash hidden at home, it was the principle. After being mugged when she was in her late teens, Jill couldn’t think of anything worse than a stranger rooting through her private things. The wallet was hers. It was full of her bank cards, her driver’s license, a picture of her mom. The thought of someone taking all of that and having all of that information was frightening. And she wasn’t prepared to risk it.
Tanner’s was a completely different place during the day. What oozed a roguish and carnal charm gave way to something a lot more sinister. The trucker’s that stopped there during the daylight hours were the ones to be avoided. They were usually aggressive and harsh, and they didn’t want to drink or leave tips. They were disrespectful, and even though drink was rarely ever involved, it was always during the day when the majority of fig
hts broke out around the club. The men that found their way in during the day didn’t seem to understand that the girls were not their property, and they liked to push the boundaries wherever possible.
Jill stepped out of her car and looked up at the main doors. The music was low but she could still hear it from out in the parking lot and she could hear the dull sounds of whistling coming from inside. As she stood there, she started to feel nervous, but she couldn’t understand why. She had worked the day shift many times, and even though she much preferred it on a night, she knew there was nothing to be afraid of. She shook out her shoulders and stepped forward. As she climbed the steps to reach the front door of the club, she could make out the cheering of what sounded to be one of the regulars and she couldn’t help but roll her eyes.
“Sad life…” she whispered underneath her breath.
The light followed her in but it quickly disappeared as the door slammed behind her. The music was much louder in there, so much so that it felt unnatural, considering how quiet it was as she looked around. The colorful lights flashed on the stage and a new girl twirled around the pole, trying to look sexy, but really, she just looked bored. And Jill couldn’t blame her. The place was dead. And Jill knew there was nothing worse than working for a dull crowd. She raised her hand and waved to the girl even though she couldn’t remember her name. The turnover of girls at Tanner’s had sped up over the past few months, and many of them never gave their real names anyway. Her and Star were two of the originals, and longest serving. But sometimes, girls like the one on the stage would appear for a couple of weeks with names like Chi-Chi or Bambi and be gone before anyone even learned anything about them. Jill had often wondered what it must be like to live that kind of life. To move from one town to the next, clinging to whatever you could and then just as quickly starting all over again. She had decided it must be liberating but ultimately exhausting. She was thankful for her stable home, a job she was used to, and a group of people around her she could rely on.
AX (Forsaken Riders MC Romance Book 10) Page 4
