“I guess I don’t know what to say,” he said.
“Don’t say anything, because like I said, I know you’re going through a tough time right now. Just think about it, okay?”
“I will,” he said, wondering why he hadn’t just told her thanks but no thanks. He guessed, though, he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. As it was, she’d already been traumatized by her abusive husband, and Matthew didn’t want to add even the slightest disappointment to that.
“Okay, well, I won’t keep you,” she said. “I’m glad you’re doing great, and I’ll see you on Monday.”
“See you then, and thanks for calling.”
Matthew set his phone on his dresser and hoped this conversation of theirs wouldn’t make things awkward at work. He pushed the whole thing out of his mind, though, when his phone rang again. This time it was Stacey, and he could barely contain himself. Just seeing her number gave him a warm, peaceful feeling. As a matter of fact, whether he spoke to her on the phone or saw her in person, she brought him much hope and contentment. It was the reason he had to start his divorce proceedings as soon as possible. His mother wanted that, so did Alicia, and so did Jonathan, and now Matthew wanted it more than all of them. He needed to move on and plan for his future. More than anything, he wanted to start a new life with Stacey.
Chapter 36
After Lana gave him the okay, Dillon walked toward his dad’s office and eased open the door.
“Hey son,” Curtis said.
“Hey.”
“Have a seat. And again, I’m really sorry I couldn’t talk yesterday. My day was full.”
“No problem. I know you have a lot to do here.”
Dillon didn’t think anything should come before a man’s oldest son, but he faked like he understood it.
“So, I’m guessing you wanna talk about that big announcement you made at the cookout.”
“Sort of. I’m excited about it, and I can’t wait to get started.”
“Well, actually, it’s going take a little more than just getting started.”
“Meaning?”
“Well, for one thing you need to ask yourself a lot of questions, and then you need to answer them for me. This isn’t a formal requirement of any man who says he’s been called into the ministry, but they are questions I ask all new ministers who are planning to serve at Deliverance Outreach.”
Dillon didn’t like any of what his father was saying, but he went along with it. “What kind of questions?”
“For one, have you truly accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and personal Savior? Do you recognize and worship the Trinity as the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit? Do you fully understand what it means to be called by God to preach? Do you understand the responsibilities that come with it? When you say God called you, did He truly speak to your heart and mind or is this something you’ve chosen to do on your own?”
“I can answer yes to every question, and yes, He spoke to my heart and mind. I would never choose something like this just because.”
“That’s good to hear.”
Dillon didn’t know why his father felt the need to grill him this way, and he wished he’d move on to something else.
“What about your situation at home?” Curtis asked.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Melissa and the fact that you live together. Surely, you don’t plan to keep shacking up like that if you’ve been called into the ministry?”
His dad was going too far with all these questions and borderline demands. It was as if he wanted Dillon to be perfect.
“I hadn’t thought about that. I’ll figure out something, though.”
“You don’t plan to marry her?”
“Maybe. I just don’t know. It might be best if she just got her own place for a while. That way I can focus on what I need to do as a minister.”
Curtis looked at him strangely, and Dillon wasn’t happy about it.
“Look, son, I know these aren’t questions you want to answer, but as a man of God and because I’m your father, I can’t help but feel a certain level of responsibility toward making sure you understand what will be expected of you.”
“It’s not a problem,” he said, but what irritated him was the idea that his father wasn’t being very supportive of his call to the ministry.
“This is very serious, and the reason I know that is because of my own experience. I was called at a very young age, too, but I did things no minister should ever do. I did whatever I wanted, no matter how sinful, and I’ve reaped every bit of what I’ve sown. So much responsibility comes with being a minister, and even more so once you become a pastor. When that happens, you end up leading innocent people who are sometimes very hurt, very vulnerable human beings. So again, saying that you’ve been called is very serious, and I just want you to be sure that God really has spoken to you.”
His father sounded as though he was lecturing him instead of encouraging him, and Dillon was offended.
“Dad, I’m not sure what you want me to say. I’m not some child trying to play games with you. I’m not a dummy.”
“I know you’re not, and I’m not trying to discourage you. I don’t want to doubt you either, but I also need to be honest with you.”
“About what?”
“Well, for one, son, I rarely see you open a Bible. You don’t even carry one or have a Bible app on your smartphone. On Sunday mornings, when everyone is flipping through pages of scripture, all you do is sit there. You don’t even seem all that interested. And you almost never attend Bible study on Wednesday nights.”
“I read my Bible all the time at home,” he said. He knew that wasn’t true, but he was telling his father what he wanted to hear. “And as far as Bible study, Melissa and I have our own sessions. We do that at home, too.”
He was lying again, but he did what he had to do.
Still, Curtis didn’t seem to be buying it, and if anything he seemed less supportive of Dillon than he had been a few minutes ago.
“Maybe you should spend a few days praying about all this. Go into deep prayer, just to make sure this is really what God wants you to do.”
“So you think I’m lying?” Dillon said, frowning. “You think I made all this up?”
“That’s not what I’m saying. I just want you to spend some quality time with God, both down on your knees in prayer and also by reading the Word.”
“How long do I have to do this?”
“Until you hear confirmation.”
“And when I do—when I get confirmation again, that is, since I already have it—then what?”
“We’ll get you enrolled at a seminary. There are a lot of good ones out there, all over the country, so we’ll sit down together to choose one. We’ll figure out which one is best for you.”
Seminary? Good ones all over the country? This meeting wasn’t going nearly the way Dillon had planned for it to, because the last thing he wanted was to leave Mitchell. The whole point of putting on this call-to-ministry charade was so his father could assign him an office near his and so he could add him on as an assistant pastor. That way he could work side by side with his father and see him every day. Apparently, his father didn’t want that.
“This really is very serious, son. I’m telling you from experience.”
Dillon wondered how many more times he was going to say that.
“I really thought you’d be happy about my call from God,” he finally said.
“I just want you to be sure, and I’m here for you either way.”
Dillon stared at him with anger and disappointment.
“Trust me,” Curtis said. “You’ll be glad you took your time with this.”
Dillon heard everything his dad was saying, but he wasn’t happy in the least. Especially since he was pretty sure that if his father’s golden boy, Matthew, had announced that he’d been called to preach, his dad would have shouted to the heavens. The other thing that infuriated Dillon was the way his father sa
t there judging him. So what if he never read his Bible or saw a reason to attend Bible study? What did that have to do with anything? What mattered was that he was planning to start studying his Bible now.
Dillon listened as his dad went on and on with more boring, self-righteous suggestions, but mostly he couldn’t wait to get out of there—mostly he wanted to forget about this whole plot to become a minister altogether. The reason: it was time to concentrate on plan B—or even C if he had to. It was time to do whatever was necessary.
Chapter 37
What a morning. It was almost noon, and Dillon was sorry he’d ever gone to see his father. Their meeting had been a disaster, and Dillon was livid. Then, when he’d pulled into his driveway, he saw Roger trimming the edges of the grass and that irritated him, too. Yesterday, Roger had called to say that because of another dental appointment, he’d be coming on Wednesday again, but Dillon wasn’t in the mood for seeing anyone.
As Dillon drove into the garage, Roger grinned like he had perfect teeth, but Dillon hurried to close the garage door so he wouldn’t have to speak to him. He just couldn’t be bothered with any of Roger’s country bumpkin chatter today, and he wasn’t going to apologize for it either. His dad had certainly enraged him with all his doubts and questions. For months, Dillon had blamed Charlotte and his siblings for the distance that existed between him and his father, but now he blamed his father for it, too. Dillon loved Curtis and he was trying to do everything he could to win his approval, but he was slowly but surely losing his patience. He was tired of begging and pleading with his dad and then getting nowhere. It just didn’t make sense to him, and it wasn’t fair. Here his dad had humiliated Dillon’s mom many years ago, he’d disowned Dillon as soon as he was born, and now after all that, he still couldn’t do right by him?
It took everything in Dillon not to explode—it took everything in his whole being not to add his dad to the top of his revenge list.
Dillon threw his keys across the kitchen counter and went upstairs. He’d been hoping Melissa would pretend he wasn’t there, but no such luck.
“Hey baby,” she said, walking into the bedroom behind him. “Is everything okay?”
“Why wouldn’t it be? And instead of asking a bunch of dumb questions, where’s my information? What have you found out about that trick, Charlotte?”
“The investigator is still working on it, and he’s even had her followed a few times. But he’s found nothing.”
“Why not?”
“He just hasn’t.”
Dillon stepped closer to her and grabbed her by her arm. “This is all your fault. You can’t do anything right, can you? But I’ve got news for you. If you don’t get me what I need, then I want you out of here.”
“Baby, you’re hurting me. And what else can I do?”
“You do what I told you, Melissa!” he said, staring her down and pushing her away from him.
She tried to steady her balance. “But the investigator can’t find anything. He’s tried and tried, but everything he’s come up with is the stuff we already know about.”
“I hope he’s not expecting to be paid. And, anyway…why haven’t you contacted a different investigator? If this one can’t do his stupid job, why haven’t you hired another one?”
“I don’t know. Jasper Davis is one of the best, and I just don’t see where we’ll be able to find anyone better.”
Dillon tossed the lamp from the nightstand and brushed by Melissa so forcefully, she lost her balance again.
Still, she followed him downstairs. “Baby, what’s wrong? Why are you so upset?”
Dillon plopped down on one of the chairs in the family room. “Just leave me alone.”
“But baby, what is it? Tell me what to do, and I’ll do it.”
“I already did, but you couldn’t even handle that.”
“I’m so sorry. I really tried, and it’s not like the PI is gonna give up. Maybe he’ll come up with something soon.”
“You know what? I’m sick of you, my dad and everybody else I can think of right now, so just leave me alone. I already told you that.”
“Why don’t we go upstairs,” she said.
Dillon scrunched his forehead. “For what?”
“To make love. That always makes you feel better.”
“Well, not today. Today, I just wanna be left alone. This is my third time telling you that.”
“But—” she said before he cut her off.
Dillon squinted his eyes and spoke through gritted teeth. “I told you to leave me alone. Now, get your stupid behind out of here.”
Melissa backed away in tears and finally left.
When she did, Dillon grabbed his keys, went back out to his SUV, and called Racquel. All this morning, he’d tried to push her out of his mind, but here, hours later, he was still thinking about her. This was totally new territory for him since he’d never needed to be with any woman, but he knew why he felt the way he did. Racquel made him feel good, and he wanted more of her. Not tomorrow, not next week, or next month. He wanted her today, and he would have her.
Matthew had told himself he wouldn’t see Stacey right away again today, but here they were, sitting next to each other at Jonathan’s.
“I’m really confused,” he said. “I mean, so much is happening so fast. Here I am about to go through a divorce, but I’m also in love with you…and the guilt is killing me, Stacey.”
“I get that, but it’s not like we can help the way we feel, Matt. We didn’t purposely go looking for this. We saw each other at a bowling alley, but we didn’t plan it.”
“Still, what we’re doing is wrong.”
“I know that, too.”
“I just wish my divorce was already final.”
“So do I. I know that probably sounds terrible, but that’s just the way I feel. I’ll wait for you as long as I have to, though.”
Matthew pulled her into his arms so that her back rested against his chest. “Hopefully, it won’t take long at all.”
“Even if it does, I’m not going anywhere.”
“You say that now, but what about when it’s time for you to go back to school?”
“I’ll still be waiting.”
“I could kick myself for breaking up with you in high school. Just because you wouldn’t have sex with me.”
“You were young and dumb back then, so I forgive you,” she said, laughing.
Matthew chuckled, too. “I guess I was.”
“But now you’re much older,” she said sitting up and turning toward him. “And I’m in love with you.”
Matthew wished she wouldn’t look at him this way. What he’d hoped was that she would simply be content lying in his arms and watching television. But now they stared at each other like animals, and Matthew grabbed both sides of her face and kissed her.
A whole minute passed, but then Stacey pulled away. “Make love to me again.”
Matthew gazed into her eyes, admiring how beautiful she was and wishing he could deny her. But he couldn’t, because the truth of the matter was, he wanted her, too. She was almost like a drug that he didn’t want to wean himself from, and that scared him. It alarmed him because the love he’d had for his own wife had never been this intense. It hadn’t as much as come close, and the chemistry he’d shared with Racquel couldn’t compare either.
Nonetheless, he still knew that what he was doing was wrong and that he was committing another terrible sin. But he couldn’t stop himself. Likely because he didn’t actually want to.
Chapter 38
This is the day the Lord hath made, so let us rejoice and be glad in it,” Curtis said, standing behind the podium in the pulpit.
It was Sunday morning, and as Dillon sat listening to his dad preparing to give his weekly sermon, he glanced down the pew at his wicked stepmother. He just knew there had to be at least something—anything would do—that he could learn about Charlotte the Harlot, and he was sorry that this worthless investigator Melissa had hired ha
dn’t come through for him. Actually, he still blamed Melissa for every bit of this because had she made this Charlotte thing her top priority, Dillon would now have all the damaging information he needed, and Charlotte wouldn’t be sitting a few feet away from him, all decked out in some overpriced outfit. He was sure her suit and shoes had set his father back close to a thousand dollars or more.
Melissa had been trying his patience for a while, but as of last Wednesday, he’d become flat-out sick of her. He’d even gone these last few days without saying more than five words to her, and he’d also made her stay home this morning. Then, there was the fact that he’d spent the last five days straight with Racquel. Dillon hadn’t wanted much to do with Melissa for months and months, but now that he’d found a real woman who willingly gave him what he wanted without being asked, Melissa was the least of his worries. And to think Racquel was only twenty, and nine years his junior, yet she could run circles around Melissa. He wasn’t sure where she’d learned all her tricks, but he loved those tricks just the same. He was actually a bit surprised at how experienced she was, given her age, and also because she’d gotten married so young. But Dillon had learned a long time ago that some seemingly nice, quiet women were, well…well, they were just born with a little freak in them. Church girls, well-educated girls, rich girls, it didn’t matter. It was simply a fact, and Dillon loved it.
Dillon looked up at his father and then glanced down the pew again, this time paying attention to Matthew, MJ, Curtina, Alicia, and Phillip. They were all such a joke, and Dillon wished they would somehow disappear. He wished none of them had been born, period.
“Today,” Curtis said, turning pages in his Bible, “I want to talk about the prodigal son, so if you would, please turn with me to the Book of Luke, chapter fifteen, verse eleven. I know I’ve preached from this particular chapter more than once, but because my son Matthew and my little grandson are back home with us, I believe this is the reason God has laid it on my heart to share this message again.”
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