by Shari Low
‘He sounds like a funny guy who loves you,’ Max said.
‘There’s more,’ she replied, handing over the next two notes.
Tess, no pressure. I know this must be coming over as crazy. I’ll totally understand if you don’t show up and I promise we’ll always be mates even if you don’t come. I’m hoping you’ve discovered that you miss me. If you do, then please… Meet me in Monaco. In the square at noon. Cx
Missing you. No one to share my donuts with. Meet me in Monaco. I’ll bring the ones with sprinkles. Cxx
‘And then finally today, this one came.’
One more day. Tomorrow. Monaco. In the square at noon. Please come. Cxx
‘Wow,’ was all Max could muster. ‘What are you going to do?’
‘I don’t know. I honestly don’t. Please don’t say anything about this, Max,’ she pleaded.
‘I won’t, I promise.’ He got up and rescued another beer from the fridge, topping up her wine glass in the process. ‘Do you love him? Cameron, I mean.’
‘Yes!’ she blurted and then immediately clarified. ‘I mean, I love him as a friend and we make each other so happy. Life’s easy with Cameron. It’s fun. Unpredictable. And we laugh all the time. But I’ve never thought of him as more than a friend, so do I love him? In that way?’ she pondered the answer to her own question. ‘I really don’t know.’
There was a long, loaded pause, before Tess shook her head.
‘You must think I’m a complete nightmare. I promise there’s usually no drama in my life. I don’t have men queuing at the door. Until a couple of weeks ago, I thought my future was all mapped out.’
‘Life has a way of booting you in the arse the minute you think you’ve got it sussed,’ Max said solemnly.
‘Were those words of wisdom, Master Yoda?’
‘Indeed,’ he laughed, before a moment of contemplation descended. ‘Do you want my advice or am I here just to listen?’
‘Advice,’ she said firmly. ‘Definitely advice.’
‘I think you need to sort things out with Drew before you even let Cameron into the picture.’
She let that one sit for a minute as she thought about it. He was right. She knew that. It was impossible to contemplate any kind of relationship with anyone else until she knew what was happening in her marriage.
‘How’d you get so smart about these things?’
He did a mock bow. Tess thought he was just going to laugh it off. In the week they’d spent together, he’d never gone into any detail about what happened in his marriage.
‘My wife left me. Met someone else. Said I worked too-long hours and I wasn’t ‘invested’ in our marriage. Sound familiar?’ He said it without a trace of bitterness, just sad acceptance. ‘That’s why Dad hates her – because he saw me at my worst, when she’d just gone and I was devastated. The irony is she left me for my business partner and he always worked even longer hours than me. Not anymore.’
Tess pulled a cushion from the sofa into her chest and leaned her chin on it as she listened.
‘I asked her to come back time after time, said I’d change, get it right, make her a priority, but she refused.
‘And how are you now?’
Max nodded. ‘I’m doing OK. I can talk about it without anaesthetic. I actually think she did the right thing. We’d been together since we were in uni and I think if she hadn’t left we’d have lived together forever in a kind of bland union that had settled into a rut about sixty years before its time.’
‘What’s her name?’ Tess had no idea why that was important, but she wanted to know this woman, understand her, and a name would be a start.
‘Belinda. Although according to Dad, that gets shortened to “cow”.’
It was Tess’s turn to top up the drinks this time, and she added in a couple of packets of crisps to the proceedings. She emptied them into a bowl, then moved over on to Max’s sofa so that they could share them.
‘Do you still want her back?’ she asked, crunching a salt and vinegar Hula Hoop.
‘No. But I just wish that she had given us a chance to resolve things before she moved on. Just a chance. I thought we deserved that.’
‘You did.’ It struck her. He did. And Drew deserved that chance, too. Except… The heat of Max’s breath, only a few inches away from her face was having a strange effect on her. She must be drunk. Or giddy due to inhaling salt and vinegar fumes.
Suddenly, and totally unexpectedly, she had to fight the urge to kiss him. Blinking away the notion, she moved back to the other couch. What the hell was wrong with her? Were two complicated relationships not enough to be going on with? Please tell me he didn’t notice. She searched his face for signs of discomfort, but there were none – just a chilled-out expression of care and contentment. She threw up a thanks to the Gods of Oh-Crap-I-Nearly-Kissed-Someone-And-It-Would-Have-Been-Totally-Inappropriate.
‘So what are you going to do tomorrow?’ he asked.
Three Hula Hoops came between the question and the answer.
‘I don’t know. I honestly don’t know.’
19.
Meet Me In Monaco
Sarah
Sarah pulled open the curtains and threw open the balcony doors, letting the warm morning air cut through the cool of the air-conditioning. She’d have burst into a chorus of ‘The Sun Has Got His Hat On’, if it weren’t for the fact that she didn’t want to risk waking the twins next door. On the bed, Eliza groaned and pulled a pillow over her head. Sarah immediately removed it and sang, ‘Good morning darling,’ in her highest, cheeriest voice. Eliza groaned again.
‘You’re going to make the most of this one, aren’t you?’ Drew mused, laughing. He’d slept on their sofa so he could help if Eliza was ill during the night. Thankfully, she hadn’t been.
‘Oh, yes. After the fright that I got last night, this girl will pay. Revenge will be merciless. It’s the only way to ensure that she doesn’t do it again.’ The fact that she was giggling as she said it diluted the severity of her words down from ominous to teasing. ‘Eli-za. Eliza darling,’ she chirped. Loudly.
This time her daughter managed to get one eye open and recover some of her powers of speech. ‘Don’t. Feel. Well.’
‘Yes, dear. I can understand that. I’m not a medical professional, but my official diagnosis is that this condition you are experiencing is a result of… what’s the medical term, Drew? Oh yes, coming home pissed.’
The chilling revelation dawned on Eliza and she attempted to sit bolt upright, only to fall back down again. In the midst of the failed act, she absorbed the fact that Drew was there. ‘Dad?’
‘Yes, your father is here because you went missing last night. We had to call in the Italian police, and the coastguard only called off their search half an hour ago.’ Behind her, she heard Drew swallow a chuckle.
‘Honestly?’ Eliza’s voice was thick with fear.
‘No. But you’re in so much trouble you’re going to wish that there was police protection involved.’
‘I’m so sorry, Mum,’ Eliza mumbled. ‘And you too, Dad. Man, it’s like, so weird seeing you both in the same room.’
‘I’ll leave you with that sunny thought while you go shower and brush your teeth. Twice,’ Sarah remarked lightly. ‘Right now, I’m going up to watch this ship sail into Monte Carlo. When I come back, we’re going to discuss every form of punishment known to man, and then your dad and I will discuss which one we will use. Personally, I’m leaning towards putting a video of you throwing up during the night on to Facebook.’
‘You didn’t record that!’ Eliza gasped.
‘Shall we save that one for her wedding reception instead? What do you think, Drew?’
He could no longer even pretend not to be finding this hilarious. ‘I think I’m glad I’m not on your bad side. Hang on and I’ll come upstairs with you. In fact, why not come and watch the docking from our suite? We’re right at the front so we’ve got a great view.’
Despite the fact th
at she’d much rather stick to her morning routine of watching the ship sail into port while sipping her morning coffee on deck fifteen, it was difficult to say no without hurting his feelings.
‘Eliza, you and I are going to have a chat later on… I’ll wait until after your mother has tortured you for a while longer.’
Eliza managed another long, pained grunt as her parents left, causing them to grin all the way to deck ten, where they picked up a pot of coffee before heading on up to Drew’s suite on deck twelve. The lovely Colita, Brazil was still at the desk. Did she never go home?
‘Ah, good morning,’ she greeted them. ‘Did you find your daughter?’
‘We did, thank you, Colita,’ Drew answered, then held open the door to their corridor.
When they reached the room, the first thing Sarah noticed was the empty glasses, beer bottles and crisp bowls. There was obviously a party here last night and for a moment she was sad she missed it.
The only light in the room came from a gap in the curtains, but it was enough to see that up on the mezzanine there was a large bump in the bed. Tess was still sleeping.
Sarah did a quick calculation. They hadn’t got back to the cabin until well after 2 a.m., so if Tess had then had a bit of a party, she’d probably only been in bed for not much more than a couple of hours.
‘Shall I go? I don’t want to wake her. I can just take this upstairs,’ she whispered, motioning to the coffee pot she was holding.
Drew shook his head. ‘No, it’s fine. Tess could sleep through an earthquake. We’ll just go out on the balcony.’
Silently, he grabbed a couple of mugs from the table, then they slipped out into the sunlight, closing the door over behind them.
It was only when they were sitting watching the stunning panorama of Monte Carlo getting closer and closer, that Sarah remembered…
‘Drew! Happy Birthday! I’m so sorry – with all the drama I completely forgot it was today.’
‘Thank you. And don’t worry – I’d be quite happy not to be reminded that I’m now fifty.’
‘You’re right. It’s so old. Practically Jurassic. I’m absolutely sure you’ll have arthritis and hair poking out of your ears by dinnertime.’
It was good to hear him laughing. Sarah hadn’t spent much time with him on this trip, but when she saw him he always seemed to have the weight of the world on his shoulders.
‘I miss this, Sarah.’
‘What? Monte Carlo?’
‘No – me and you, just talking. I miss you.’
Dumbstruck, she turned to face him. ‘What? Drew we’ve been divorced for fifteen years. What is there to miss? Is this because you’ve turned fifty? Are you having a mid-life crisis and losing the plot?’
Humour was her only defence against a conversation that was making her just a tad uncomfortable.
‘No. Over the last while I just realized that I made a mistake. All of it was a huge mistake. I should never have had the affair with Mona…’
‘I’ll give you that one – she’s a torn-faced boot.’
It took a minute for him to recover from that. ‘You’re right. But she’s a good person underneath all that hard stuff.’
‘Drew, don’t talk nonsense. It would be quicker to dig to the earth’s core than to mine for Mona’s hidden niceness.’
‘True. But the fact remains, I shouldn’t have gone there.’
This time there was no humour in her answer. ‘No, you shouldn’t. You broke up our family.’
‘It was a mistake.’
‘Yes.’
They were now about a hundred yards out from one of the most romantic cities in the world, yet Sarah was feeling anything but loving. Why open up old wounds? Why remind her of what she lost?
‘I think that’s why I married Tess.’
‘What?’ Sarah asked, astounded.
‘It’s taken me a while to realize it, but I think it was because she reminded me of you. You’re alike in so many ways. I think I was trying to recreate what we had when we were twenty-five.’
‘Did it work?’ she asked doubtfully.
‘No, because I’m fifty. I’m past that. I love Tess, but there’s no denying that the age difference is a problem that becomes more prevalent every year. She’s still wants to experience life – I just want to slow down a bit and savour it. In truth, I can see now that’s why it was so important to me that you were here. I knew we’d appreciate this in the same way.’
Her chin would have hit the floor, if it wasn’t engaged by the need to respond to what he’d just said. ‘You’re an idiot,’ she said, calmly. ‘You are so lucky to have her, Drew – she’s special. She really is.’
‘I know, but…’
Sarah’s anger was rising now. ‘Don’t give me “but”!’
He matched her emotion, his normal cool, calm demeanour shed, a passionate argument in its place. ‘Tell me you don’t think it too! Tell me you never wonder whether we should have stayed together and tell me you don’t think that if we were both single we could make a real go of it. We would be good together again, Sarah. I saw how you were last night – you wanted me there. If I let Tess go, then we could be happy.’
Sarah jumped up, sending her chair reeling backwards. ‘No, we couldn’t! Jesus, you are such a self-centred prick, Drew. That poor girl… Argh, I want to bloody slap you. We. Could. Not. Be. Happy. Together. Yes, I was glad you were there last night because for once, ONCE, you were actively present when something was happening with the kids and it was good to have a bit of support. Believe me, it was a refreshing change. But do you know why we would never work? Because for the last fifteen years I’ve slowed down, savoured motherhood, let life go by me, but now? I’m ready to get out there and enjoy myself. In fact, if Tess has the good sense to send you packing I might see if she wants to bloody come with me. It’s about time she started to live a bit instead of spending her whole life waiting for you!’
With the filthiest look she could muster, she turned, slid the door open and stormed back inside. At once, she realized that the room had changed, so she popped her head back out onto the balcony.
‘Oh, and Romeo, your wife is no longer lying in bed. In fact, she’s no longer here. So you’d better start praying she never heard any of your little speech there, otherwise you’ll be needing a subscription to Match.com for your birthday. Arse.’
With that, Sarah walked out of Drew Gold’s life. And it felt great.
Tess
The security guard at the top of the gangplank tried not to stare at the fact she was wearing pyjamas and her hair looked like an explosion in a straw bale. Tess didn’t care. She really didn’t care. Bastard. Drew, not the security guard, who was – she was sure – very lovely.
The moral of the morning was definitely ‘Do not discuss your relationship when the door to where your wife is sleeping is very slightly ajar’. God, had this morning really happened? She’d heard Drew and Sarah come in, and stumbled out of bed to go say hello. She got to the doors just as he was getting to the good bit. So she was just a substitute for Sarah. Standing behind the curtain, she’d heard every word and it hurt like hell. Sod him. Sod Drew sodding Gold. She’d listened right up to where Sarah told him he was a prick and she wanted to slap him. That’s the kind of attitude Tess needed. It was time for her to get a bit of fight about her and start sticking up for herself.
Everything made so much sense now. The disconnect in their relationship. The way he was never around. The fact that he didn’t want children with her. He didn’t want to spend the rest of his life with her – he was trying to convince himself as much as her that if they stayed together they’d have a great future. They’d both been kidding themselves on. It was all fake. All of it.
She showed her passport at the checkpoint and headed down the gangplank, then followed the crowd around the port on the Quai Antoine, veered right on to the Route de la Piscine, then immediately turned left, and ran up the pale stone steps. A sign at the top told her she was now on th
e Boulevard Albert 1er and she stopped to look around. It was exactly as she’d expected, only much, much busier. The road in front of her was already packed with gridlocked traffic, there were police everywhere, checking cars and trucks, but the views… It was spectacular. Up on the hills on the left-hand side she could see the cream walls of the castle. To her right, high-rise buildings, most of them white, sitting side by side like a Lego village, rising up towards the hills that circled them like a protective cloak.
It was beautiful. Since she was a little girl, she’d imagined coming here. She just never anticipated that she’d be wearing pyjamas and white Converse trainers with no socks. They were the first things that came to hand when she’d dashed from the suite.
What a fool she’d been. No more. She pulled the map that had been left in their cabin last night from her bag, checked it, then walked briskly, following the promenade around towards the most built-up area. On her left were offices, shops, hotels – on her right, the sparkling blue waters of the seas, hundreds of gleaming white boats of all sizes in the Marina, and behind them the Vistatoria, sitting proudly in her dock.
The holdall on her shoulder dug into her skin, so when she saw an awning with the words ‘Pizza, Pasta, Coffee’ on it, she crossed the road and ducked inside. It was half-empty. An elderly man approached her with a smile.
‘Mademoiselle?’
‘Un café, s’il vous plaît,’ she said, thrilled her high school French had left its mark.
While he went off to get it, she nipped in to the ladies and pulled everything out of her bag. She’d just snatched the first things that came to her in the wardrobe, so she could only hope there were the makings of a decent outfit. She surveyed the choices: one pink mini dress, one blue nightdress and a white jersey hoodie. Oh well, it was worth a try, but the pyjamas would have to stay on. At least it was sunny and adding the hoodie made it look more ‘casual lounge wear’ than ‘off for a good eight hours’ kip’.
Rummaging in the bottom of the bag she did, however, find a hairbrush and her make-up bag. She soaked her hair in the sink, then dried it into some kind of semblance of a style with the hand-dryer, then used some tinted moisturiser and Vaseline to tone down the stress-induced blotchy face.
