by Shari Low
‘I knew. But I had to try. I think I’ve always known. If we were going to be together then it would have worked out before now. You would have woken up one morning, realized you couldn’t live without me, dumped the tosser and come running after my body.’
The fact that he was still being funny made her love him even more.
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t be.’
‘Please don’t cut me out of your life, Cameron. I know it’s selfish, but I don’t ever want you to say goodbye.’
‘I never could.’
There was a long pause as they stared at each other, sad smiles on both their faces.
‘So what happens now?’ Tess whispered.
‘I go home. You leave Drew. You come to work. We pretend nothing has happened. I tell you stories about my Brazilian girlfriend. You tell me she’s not good enough for me because I’m a one hundred per cent love god.’
She was laughing now, laughing so hard that the tears were back. ‘Indeed you are. I thought you’d split with her anyway?’
‘I did, but she wants me back.’
‘Understandable.’
‘I think so.’
Nothing would ever compare to the connection that she had with this man. If she felt a different kind of love for him then life would be perfect. But she’d rather risk losing him than pretend that they had something that wasn’t there, because she knew exactly how much that hurt.
Cameron stretched as he got to his feet. ‘I’m going to go now, before I do something very unmanly like cry and clutch on to your ankle, begging you to change your mind.’
‘OK.’ Tess didn’t want him to go, but she understood. She stood up and pulled him in close to her. ‘Cameron, I love you,’ she whispered.
He leaned down and kissed her. ‘I know you do.’
And then he was gone.
Sarah
Sarah spent the morning walking around the principality, marvelling at the grand houses, enjoying the serenity of the parks and gardens, and thinking about Tess. In the Cathedral of Saint Nicholas, she paused at the tombs of Princess Grace and her husband, Prince Rainier, then lit a candle, finding comfort in the silence and peace of the church. Then she thought about Tess again.
On she went, wandering up side streets, her gaze never still, always moving from one stunning spectacle to another, torn between treasuring every moment of this and worrying about Tess.
Soon she’d seen all the highlights mentioned in the guidebook she’d picked up at the excursion desk before leaving the ship.
This, however, she’d saved until last.
La Place du Casino. Casino Square. The sight of it filled her with such excitement that for a moment she was sad that she had no one there to share it with. However, giddy wonder soon pushed any sadness to one side. She strolled down past the shops and cafes on one side of the square, cut across in front of the steps up to the legendary casino, then completed the U-shape by staring in the windows of the fabled Hôtel de Paris as she walked past its majestic entrance. For a moment she toyed with the idea of going in, but of course she didn’t. It was far too grand, too intimidating. Even in her navy Monsoon maxi dress (the most expensive of her Patsy-personal-shopper purchases), with layers of silver chains around her neck, she would feel out of place. Maybe next time. Perhaps one day she would come back here with the next love of her life and they’d drink champagne in the bar and revel in the electric atmosphere of it all.
Moving slowly through the throngs of people crowding the pavements, Sarah walked up the incline, past Cartier and Celine, then crossed to the breathtaking gardens in the middle of the road.
That was where she encountered an image that must surely be a figment of her imagination.
‘Tess? Tess, are you OK?’ Sarah moved quickly over to the younger woman, who was sitting on the steps beside the fountain, in her pyjamas, staring at the water, locked in some kind of trance.
Sarah’s arm stretching around her shoulder snapped her out of it and she turned to meet her eyes.
‘Tess?’ Sarah repeated, searching her friend’s face for a hint of what she was feeling. ‘I’m so sorry about this morning. I promise you I had no idea. I really didn’t. If I’d known, I would have…’
‘Sarah, I know that you didn’t. I don’t blame you for any of this.’
Sarah relaxed properly for the first time all day, every muscle in her body heavy with relief. That candle in the cathedral had somehow worked.
‘I was so worried about you. The best thing that has come out of this holiday is getting to know you and I couldn’t stand the thought that you might believe I’d done anything to hurt you.’
Tess flopped her head down on to Sarah’s shoulder. ‘I didn’t, I promise. I heard him, though, Sarah. I heard what he said.’
‘He’s an arse,’ Sarah replied.
‘My friend Cameron just said the same thing.’
Sarah glanced around. Surely she didn’t mean he was here? The phone. Must be the phone. ‘You called him?’
‘No, he just left.’
Oh, bugger, the poor girl was imagining things.
Tess pulled her head up, looked at her and smiled sadly. ‘I’m not imagining things, I promise. He just left.’
Nothing to lose, she pulled the notes out of her bag and handed them over to Sarah, then told her the whole story.
‘So what did you say?’ Sarah could barely breathe as she waited for the answer.
‘I said “no”. I couldn’t lie to him.’
‘Do you want to work things out with Drew?’
Tess’s shoulders slumped as she whispered, ‘No.’
Sarah squeezed her a little tighter. ‘Tess, Drew doesn’t know what he’s lost. He’s a fool. A total fool.’
‘I prefer “arse”,’ Tess added, with the closest thing to levity that she’d managed since she watched Cameron walk away.
‘Yes, it does have a ring of authenticity to it,’ Sarah agreed. ‘So no Drew and no Cameron. You know my spare room is always free and there’s a very nice single man who calls regularly on behalf of the local senior citizen charity.’
‘Generous – but I think I’ll pass.’
Every time Tess spoke or smiled, it reinforced to Sarah just what a mixed-up idiot her ex-husband had turned out to be.
‘What about you? How did things turn out with Tim McGraw?’
Sarah sighed. ‘I was about to do filthy things to him when I discovered he wore Speedos. It was a passion killer.’
The two of them were giggling now, so loudly that people were beginning to stare.
‘Tess, can I ask you something?’
‘I’ve never had sex with a man in Speedos. Was that the question?’
‘No. Have you ever been in the Hôtel de Paris?’
‘Sadly not.’
‘Do you want to go?’ Sarah’s face was alive with excitement. It was a great idea. The best. Bloody brilliant.
‘When?’
‘Now?’
‘No!’
Sarah groaned, ‘Why not? I’m dying to go in and after the week we’ve both had we really should damn them all. Let’s drink champagne in the Hôtel de Paris. Incidentally, if you feel a vibration that’s my MasterCard cacking itself.’
‘Sarah, I’m wearing pyjamas.’
‘I know. I didn’t like to say. Let’s go buy something for you to wear.’
‘All the shops are shut.’
Sarah just kept batting back every objection. ‘But there’s bound to be one in the hotel that’s open. Those places never shut.’
Tess’s mouth was opening and closing like a puffer fish, unable to come up with a worthwhile argument.
Sarah took that as permission to proceed, pulled her pal to her feet and they walked briskly down to the hotel, fortunately managing to duck in the door when the security guards were busy giving directions to a large group of golf-trouser-wearing Americans.
Inside, Sarah threw back her shoulders, adopted an air of confident entitlement, an
d strutted over to the concierge to ask directions to the shops.
They were in luck.
The instructions took them across the opulent lobby, under the most spectacular chandelier Sarah had ever seen. Her heart soared. This was such a great idea.
Barely ten minutes later, Tess was wearing a fine silk cream jersey T-shirt, black crepe trousers and simple black wedges. She was also refusing to let Sarah pay, insisting that she use her own credit card.
The shop assistant, a Slavic blonde with cheekbones that could balance spoons, rang up the purchases on what looked like a control centre for NASA.
‘That will be…’
‘Don’t tell me!’ Tess begged. ‘Just put it on this card and leave me in denial. Sarah, have I just spent the cost of a car on an outfit?’
Sarah leaned over and checked the display on the till. ‘Half a car. Maybe a small starter model. You’re right, it’s best that you don’t know.’
‘OK, where to now? I can’t believe we’re here. This is so irresponsible, yet it feels so absolutely right. Let’s go.’
They followed directions to the American Bar and as they walked in the first thing they noticed was the grandeur of the room. The second thing they noticed was the piano player, filling the room with smoky, intoxicating jazz. The third?
‘Sarah, do you see what I see?’ Tess gasped.
Sarah nodded. Oh dear God, why? Why? What had she ever done to deserve this? A huge big fat seminal moment in her life and she could almost hear the Dyson sucking the joy out of it.
‘Well, well, well – ladies! Isn’t this a small world? Come! Pull up a chair!’
Sarah was absolutely crushed. ‘Is she really here or am I just locked in some freakish nightmare?’ she hissed.
‘Nope, she’s here,’ Tess replied. ‘And by the looks of it, she’s been here for a long, long time.’
Mona
‘It’s Sarah! And Tess! Sarah and Tess! Hellooooooooo. Come sit down. Sit! Two of my least favourite people. Is Piers with you? That would make it truly the most shit party ever.” Somewhere inside, pickled by alcohol, Mona had decided there was no point fighting it any more. Better to just embrace life’s crapness and roll with it.
She thought about standing up to greet them, but wasn’t entirely confident in her balance skills. Perhaps that last glass of Cristal had been a mistake. In fact, perhaps that last bottle of Cristal had been one too many.
‘Sit! Sit!’ she repeated, then was overcome by a fit of the giggles when she realized she sounded like a demented dog trainer barking out instructions. She’d be going for ‘heel’ and ‘roll-over’ next. Great commands when dealing with bitches.
The lovely waiter, Jean Paul, materialized as if out of thin air. Mona ordered another bottle of champagne and two more glasses. The two new arrivals didn’t seem overly thrilled, but then they were hardly in their natural habitat. That would be… dunno… Travel Inn? Holiday Inn Express? IKEA? She had no idea where that last thought came from or why it was so funny, but it just was.
Her attention was suddenly taken by the images on the screen in the corner. A prince, dressed in his white ceremonial uniform, and his beautiful bride, standing in front of the priest, preparing to commit to spending the rest of their lives together.
‘Don’t do it, love!’ Mona blurted, louder than she meant to, earning her furious stares from everyone within earshot.
She saw a look pass between Tess and Sarah. Those two were as thick as thieves these days. Thick. As. Thieves. Not far off the mark, really. Hadn’t Tess stolen Drew from her? And now Sarah was stealing Piers. The bitches had so much in common.
‘Mona, are you OK?’ Sarah asked.
‘Oh, yes, act all concerned, when we all know that you can’t stand me. Well, go ahead and enjoy it, because you’re going to love what happens over the next couple of weeks.’
‘Why? What’s going to happen?’ Sarah asked.
Oh shit, had she said that last bit out loud? Oops.
Mona ignored the question, deciding it was time for some other home truths. What did she have to lose? She had nothing left. ‘I don’t know what he sees in you,’ she slurred, looking at Tess. ‘I mean, you’re very nice. Very, very nice. And young. And pretty. But what do you have in common? Nothing. Sweet bugger all.’ She finished her point with what she thought was a very elegant sweep of her glass. Her sleeve was now soaking.
She expected Tess’s bottom bloody lip to start quivering like it usually did, but no, the other woman sat up a little straighter and stared right at her.
‘Do you want to do this now Mona? Do you really want to?’
There was no mistaking the edge of challenge in Tess’s voice. Well, who knew she had it in her?
‘If you want Drew you can have him. I don’t. Our marriage is over.’
‘What? But he said…’
‘It doesn’t matter what he said. He doesn’t want me. In fact, it’s actually Sarah he wants.’ Another look passed between them. ‘But Sarah doesn’t want him. And I don’t blame her. So there we go. Feel free to give it your best shot.’
Mona was utterly gobsmacked and struggled until the words finally came. ‘Sarah, have you got, like, paranormal knickers or something?’
This time it was Sarah who almost choked on her bubbles.
Mona wasn’t done. ‘I mean, Drew wants you, and apparently my husband is leaving me for you, too.’
Tess had to thump Sarah’s back after that one.
Emergency intervention over, Tess was looking at Sarah expectantly now, too. ‘Piers?’
Sarah shook her head wearily. ‘That day in Sorrento. When Piers and I went ashore. He told me had feelings for me.’
‘Wey-hey!’ Mona cheered, knocking back another glug of champers.
‘Oh my God, he didn’t!’ Tess gasped. ‘I wondered what had happened when you two seemed weird with each other. What did you say?’
‘I told him I wasn’t interested.’
‘Wey-hey!’ Mona repeated, with another champagne chaser, then focussed on Sarah again. ‘Sarah, you can have him. We’re over. I appreciate that you knocked him back out of some moral… moral…’ She got stuck on that. ‘Some moral… thingy, but honestly don’t hold back on my account. Poetic justice, eh? I took your husband and now my husband wants you. We’re like a frigging soap opera.’
Sarah didn’t reply, just waited as Jean Paul intervened to top up their glasses. He diplomatically skipped Mona’s, but she just did it herself as soon as he was gone.
‘I’m sorry I did that to you, Sarah, but I loved him. All’s fair in love, eh?’
Sarah wasn’t buying it. ‘No,’ she replied quietly. ‘It’s not.’
‘Did I tell you he knocked me back, Tess?’ Mona was getting confused now. Note to self. Do not drink any more. ‘After everything, he knocked me back.’
‘Yes, you told me,’ Tess replied wearily. ‘But what do you mean, “everything”?’
Bugger it, what did it matter if they knew?
‘I wasn’t even invited on this trip at first. Just you two. The two peas in a badly dressed pod.’
That required a short giggle before moving on. ‘So I practically begged him. Told him Piers would love it. That Max had always wanted to cruise the Med. Then used Max as leverage to make Piers come. See! It takes skill to manipulate every side. But I thought that once we were here, I’d get him.’
Tess sat forward in her chair. ‘Mona, if you wanted him so badly, why did you split up in the first place?’
‘Ah, the big question!’
Sarah interjected. ‘You don’t know this?’ she asked Tess. ‘She slept with someone else. A football player, wasn’t it?’
Mona nodded. ‘Bit of a misjudgement. Thought Drew was losing a bit of interest and a tug of jealousy might nudge him back on course. I can still hear the sound of the backfire.’ Ah, she might be pissed but she still had a way with words, she decided. Maybe she could be a poet after her life was destroyed next weekend. A poet. Mona the
poet. ‘Anyway, I know you both hate me.’
It still hurt just a twinge when neither of them objected. She handled it by sailing into fully-fledged martyr mode.
‘You’ll totally enjoy next weekend, then. I’m ruined. Done. Going to be a laughing stock. So stick that in your… your… wellies and smoke it.’
‘What are you talking about?’ Tess asked, and Mona could see that she was clearly faking concern.
‘Story coming out in the news about me shagging a young hot stud. All true. Dick the size of a small sausage, though. Don’t think that will be in the story, will it? A kiss and tell. On me. I’m fucked. In all ways.’
Shit, those bloody tears were coming again. Sleep. Maybe she just needed to close her eyes. She felt herself swaying over to one side, then stopping as one of them caught her. She wasn’t sure which one. They were both kind of blending into each other now.
‘Want to go home. Just want to go home.’
She felt one of them on each side of her now. ‘Come on, Mona,’ she heard. The voice sounded nice. Kind. ‘Let’s get you to bed.’
21.
Barcelona
Sarah
‘I thought I’d find you up here. Creature of habit.’
Sarah smiled, recognizing that Piers was using his ebullient banter to disguise the fact that he was nervous. He was right, though. She hadn’t wanted to miss seeing the voyage end as they sailed into Barcelona.
‘I just wanted to say thanks again for getting Mona home last night. She wasn’t in the best of shape. Smelled like she’d spent the day lying on a pub floor.’
‘Our surroundings were a bit more glamorous than that,’ Sarah replied. ‘In fact, I think you’ll discover that when you get your next credit card bill.’
‘I already checked it online. Just as well we’re divorcing – I’d end up bankrupt if she goes on the drink.’
Sarah took another sip of her coffee, not sure what to say. She’d thought a lot about this. In fact, for third night in a row she’d had a restless, fitful sleep.
‘Mona told me it was over. I’m sorry.’
Piers shrugged. ‘Me too. But it’s for the best. We’re just weren’t right for each other. Never were. She’s looking for something that I don’t know exists.’
