“You always have left me alone, Aiken. You’ve never made any trouble for me, and you never bothered me.”
He grumbled under his breath in a painful effort to get the words out. “It’s hard, you know. It’s hard living under the same roof with you and holding you at a distance. It will be easier when you go back to town.”
“It’ll be easier for you, maybe. It won’t be easier for me.”
His head whipped around. “Why? You won’t have to worry about me anymore.”
Her voice rose in spite of her best efforts to keep it under control. “I never worried about you, Aiken, and I don’t want to leave. Leaving your house is going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. You told me you loved me, and I love you, too. You’re the one who says we can’t be together. I never had anything to do with keeping us apart. I want to see you and talk to you, even if there’s nothing happening between us. I want to be around you, and I want to be around your family and around Bruins’ Peak. I don’t want to be anywhere else.”
He stared at her in the light of the dashboard. His voice cracked. “You know I feel the same way, but it has to be this way. I just thought it would be easier if I stayed away from you.”
“Don’t think that. If you see me in town, don’t think you have to keep away. I want to talk to you and to know how you and your family are doing. I don’t want to hold you at a distance or become strangers with you.”
His chin sank onto his chest. Why did this have to be so all-fired hard? Why couldn’t he love someone of his own kind? Why did she have to be so infuriatingly nice? He couldn’t push her away, no matter how much he wanted to. “All right; I won’t.”
She watched him brood for a while. She put out her hand and touched his arm. Every touch of her hand made his hair stand on end, but he didn’t pull away. He couldn’t move toward her and he couldn’t move away from her. He was trapped, pinned like a bug to a board. “Are you all right?”
He closed his eyes and turned his head away, but still he sat with his hands crushing the steering wheel. “Whatever happens, whatever I do, I love you, Harmony. Don’t ever doubt that. If I keep my distance, it’s only to protect you – and myself. I never wanted to do anything to hurt you. I swear it. If I can’t talk to you in town, I still love you. God, you don’t know how much I love you! You’ll never know how much this is killing me. I can’t do this.” His hand flew to cover his eyes.
She slid across the seat and grabbed his shoulder. “Let me help you, Aiken. Let me know what is wrong. I can’t watch you like this without trying to help you.”
He groaned under his hand. “God, I only wish you could help me. I wish like anything I could turn to you for help. I would give anything to take you in my arms and beg you to help me and never let me go. Every hour of every day is a torture because I can’t do that.”
She moved right up close to him and put one arm around his shoulders. “I’m here. I’m here. Whatever it is, we’ll deal with it. Just don’t turn away from me.”
He clamped his eyes shut. He let himself to lean against her, even when he couldn’t turn his head or open his eyes to look at her. “All right; all right.”
“I can’t stand seeing you like this. I care about you too much.”
They sat in the dark for a while, just leaning on each other. Aiken’s heart churned in agony, but he couldn’t move his arms to embrace her. An insurmountable barrier kept them apart.
“You better go.”
She squeezed his shoulders and kissed the side of his head before she popped the door open and slid out of the truck. She slammed it closed and ran up the steps to the Kerrs’ front door.
He watched through the windshield until she vanished inside the house. The truck’s headlights beamed on that door, but he didn’t drive away. This was it. This was the living end of Aiken Dunlap, Esquire.
Bruins mate for life, and Harmony McGillis was his life’s mate. He couldn’t be with her, so that was the end of his life. After she went back to town, he would find a way to kill himself. That was the only way to end this misery.
He sifted through the possible methods he could use: hanging – no; blowing his brains out with a shotgun – too messy, besides, he might miss and make himself into a permanent vegetable; slitting his wrists – too unreliable, and that method was for teenage girls starved for attention; starvation – he permitted a wry smile. That would break his mother’s heart.
He kicked the truck into reverse and hummed back down the road to his own Homestead, but the thought of suicide gave him some modicum of relief. He wouldn’t have to face the rest of his life alone, without the one woman who could make it bearable – literally.
Chapter 13
Harmony blinked back tears while she waited for the Kerrs to answer their front door, but she wouldn’t let herself break down over Aiken Dunlap. He was the one who said they couldn’t be together, so he could suffer the pain of rejecting her.
She had the rest of her life to find a man who didn’t play these stupid mind games. All this malarkey about wanting her and not being able to have her was just his manipulative way of telling her he didn’t want her the way she wanted him. He wanted to let her down easy so she wouldn’t have to face the fact that he never wanted her in the first place.
She knew enough from her disastrous experiences with men to know the signs. Her inner girlfriend patted her on the shoulder and said, “He’s just not that into you, honey. Have a drink and forget him.” Yeah. Forget him. That’ll be easy. She had a thousand more important things to do and think about than a man who wasn’t that into her.
Laird opened the door with his wet hair combed back from his face and a turquoise bollo tie around his neck. A bright smile broke across his face when he saw Harmony. He stood back, and light and warmth streamed through the door to welcome her into the house. That welcoming glow blasted Aiken Dunlap right out of her mind. He didn’t take that sense of perfect belonging with him when he withdrew out of her life. She still belonged here, now more than ever.
Laird shut the door behind her. Harmony looked around. “Where is everybody?”
“Celia is visiting her family over at Dodd Homestead, and the kids are all at their own houses. It’s just you and me.”
Harmony froze. “Celia won’t like that. She might get ideas.”
“Celia knows all about it. I had a long talk with her before I invited you over. I wouldn’t go behind Celia’s back, and I can assure you I don’t have any designs on you. I just wanted to see you again so we can talk in peace and quiet.” He waved toward the dinner table laid out with place settings for two. Steaming dishes piled high with food covered the table, and an uncorked bottle of wine sat to one side along with two crystal glasses.
Harmony didn’t move toward the table. “Maybe you should tell me now what it is you want to talk to me about.”
He moved toward the table. “Come and sit down and have something to eat first. We have plenty of time to talk about that later.”
“I don’t think so. If I’m going to sit down and have dinner with you alone in your house when your wife and family are away, I think I better know what this is all about. After you tell me, I’ll decide if I’m ready to have dinner with a strange man.”
He burst out laughing. “All right; I can see you aren’t going to budge until you get your way. I had hoped to save the heavy stuff for after we have a chance to break the ice, but if that’s the way you want it, I’ll show you now.”
He walked into his living room and sat down in the same leather chair. He picked up a battered black photo album from the side table and opened it on the coffee table. “You better come here so you can see. You won’t see it from over there.”
He turned the pages of the album without looking up. Harmony hesitated. What was he up to? Her curiosity got the better of her, and she went around to the couch where she sat the first time they talked.
He moved the album around in front of her. “You’re probably wondering wh
y I took such an interest in you. Take a look. This is an old picture of my younger sister Scotia.”
Harmony couldn’t take her eyes off the young woman in the picture. It wasn’t faded enough to stop her from seeing the resemblance. She could have been looking in the mirror, or at a picture of herself doctored to make it look old. Only Scotia’s hair style made it obvious the picture was old.
“You see? You look exactly like her. When I first walked into the room and saw you, I thought for just a second you were her. Then I remembered everything, and I thought I would die all over again. My sister Scotia killed herself a long time ago. She disappeared from our Homestead, and her body was never found.”
“How do you know she killed herself? How do you know she didn’t just run away?”
He withdrew a folded yellow piece of paper from the album. “This is the note she left just before she left home to go do it. She tells exactly what she was going to do.”
“Does she say why she killed herself?”
“She doesn’t say. She just said she couldn’t live with the pain and couldn’t face another day. When I found out about it, I left a good job at the Dodds to come back here and help my family. We all suffered from her loss, but we got through it in the end.”
“I don’t understand how I could look so much like your sister. I don’t know anything about her.”
“You told me you have no family in Iron Bark.”
“Not in Iron Bark or anywhere else in the world. My mother was my only relative and she died giving birth to me.”
“What was her name?”
“Her name was Penelope. Penelope McGillis. That’s about all I know about her.”
“When did she die?”
“She died the day I was born, and my birthday is August 25, 1993.”
He studied the letter. “Scotia dated this letter February 5, 1993, more than six months before. There couldn’t be any connection between them.”
Harmony and Laird studied the pictures and the letter, but neither of them said anything more. After a while, Laird slapped his hands down on his thighs. “So there you have it. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. You remind me of my sister. Now do you want to have dinner with me?”
Harmony grinned. “Sure.”
They sat down at the table, and Laird poured glasses of wine for them both. He lifted his glass to Harmony. “To you.”
She returned the toast. “To you.”
They drank their wine, and Laird served the food. Harmony observed him with new eyes. “So what did you tell Celia about meeting with me?”
“I told her the truth. I said you looked exactly like Scotia, and I wanted to know more about you to find out if you had any connection with her.”
“What connection could I have?”
“I don’t know. None of it makes any sense, that’s why I wanted to talk to you. Our people never leave Bruins’ Mountain. We marry within our own circle and keep everything and everybody close to home. If you were any relation of ours, we would know about it. That’s why you interested me so much.”
“Can you explain to me why your people keep so much to yourselves? Why are the young people forbidden to marry outsiders?”
He twirled his fork in his spaghetti and aimed it at her. “Is this going into your official report?”
“No. I’m done with official reports – at least I’m done with official reports on the Kerr family. I just wondered because Aiken told me…”
“Aiken? Aiken Dunlap? Is that what this is all about?”
Harmony pushed her chicken back and forth on the plate and murmured, “Never mind.”
He leaned back in his chair. “I see how it is. You got your heart set on Aiken Dunlap, and you want to know why you two can’t get together. Is that it?”
She shrugged and replied, “Maybe.”
“I wish I could explain it to you. I wish I could tell you why there’s no chance you could be related to my sister Scotia – no way on God’s green Earth. You’re a real nice girl, and I believe you mean all of us here on Bruins’ Mountain well, but I can’t tell you. Maybe someday you’ll understand. I can only hope you and Aiken put each other out of your minds as quickly as possible. That’s the kindest thing for everybody.”
“That’s what Aiken keeps saying.”
“He’s a smart kid. I guess he’s not really a kid anymore. He’s in line to take over his father’s business along with Boyd, and he’ll be looking for a mate one of these days. It will be a lot better for him if he takes a mate from one of our tribes. It would ruin him to fall for an outsider.”
“That’s what he keeps saying, but I can’t understand why. No one will explain it to me.”
Laird shoveled another dollop of mashed sweet potatoes onto her plate. “I’m sorry, but I won’t explain it to you, either. Now eat up. You need to strengthen yourself.”
“I swear, I think everyone on this mountain is trying to fatten me up for Christmas.”
“You’re skin and bones. I can believe you don’t have a mother.”
“Don’t joke about that.”
His smile evaporated. “I would never joke about that. I’m sorry to bring up a sore subject.”
“You told me all about your sister. Now I have a question for you.”
“Shoot.”
“Can you think of any reason why an outsider would feel especially drawn to this place and its people?”
“This place? What do you mean?”
Harmony swept her hand over the room. “All of it. This house: this land; the Peak; the Dunlaps; all of it; I never experienced anything like it. I feel like I belong here, like I don’t belong anywhere else. I felt it the first time I walked into this room. I can’t understand it. I feel connected to everyone and everything about the place. I even.....”
He waited for her to finish. “You even what?”
“You’re gonna laugh. It’s too crazy.”
“All right; don’t tell me then.”
“Oh, shut up! You know I’m gonna tell you. I was walking in the woods. I found out later it was in Dunlap territory, but I didn’t know that at the time. I was looking around at the beauty of the forest, and I felt this surge of glorious belonging. The sunlight and the smells and everything made me feel like I was in heaven or something, and then this bear came out of the forest and walked right up to me. It let me touch it, and the light was glowing all around it like some kind of messenger from God. It sounds crazy, doesn’t it?”
“Not crazy.”
“When I told Aiken about it, he said he experienced something similar in the woods; that he feels connected to the Peak the same way. I don’t understand it.”
He watched her face and waited for her to finish.
“So?” Harmony finished.
“So what?”
“Can you think of any reason why that should happen? Why would I feel like I belong here when everyone keeps telling me I’m an outsider?”
“It’s not because of your connection with Aiken, is it? Are you sure it’s not wishful thinking?”
“Maybe you’re right. No, it can’t be. I felt that way here, at your house, even before I knew anything about Aiken.”
“No, I can’t explain it, since you ask. Most people from Iron Bark think Bruins’ Peak is creepy and dangerous.”
“Well, I’m not most people from Iron Bark.”
Chapter 14
The first light of dawn was breaking over the trees when Laird Kerr dropped Harmony off outside the Dunlaps’ front lawn. They’d stayed up all night, talking, laughing, drinking, eating, and swapping stories. Harmony threw the car door open. “Thanks for dinner.”
Laird’s laughter shook the car windows. “Come on back any time.”
“You better check with Celia first.”
“I will. See you around. Have a good trip home.”
Home? She wasn’t going home. Harmony waved to him and turned toward the house before she noticed she wasn’t the only person awake at this ho
ur. The whole Dunlap family stood on the front porch, all except Aiken and Boyd, who talked to two other people at the foot of the front steps.
She didn’t want to interrupt family business, but the palpable tension nagged at her and drove her forward. She started walking faster when she recognized one of the people. It was Bain Campbell. The other man was Roger McPherson, the County Sheriff.
From the front gate, she heard McPherson talking. “No one is accusing anybody of anything. We’re just here to follow up.”
Aiken’s voice rumbled across the lawn. “If you want to follow something up, you can ask that twit right there what happened to her.” He poked a finger at Bain.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Bain muttered.
“Sure you do,” Aiken returned. “You were the last person to see her before she disappeared. What happened to her?”
McPherson held up his hands. “Okay, okay. You have to admit it’s pretty strange her disappearing on your land. She came up here for a day visit and hasn’t come back to town for a week. We had to come up and find out what happened to her.”
“She came up here with Bain Campbell, or didn’t he bother to tell you that?”
Harmony jerked the gate open and strode up to the steps. “What’s going on?”
Sheriff McPherson gave himself whiplash spinning around to stare at her. Bain Campbell turned white as a sheet and glanced toward the trees to make sure he had a clear escape route.
Aiken waved toward the two men. “Would you please explain to these two illustrious gentlemen of the law that you weren’t kidnapped and held hostage in our woodshed for the last week?”
“What’s going on, Sheriff? You can see I’m not a prisoner here.”
Sheriff McPherson turned bright red and rubbed the back of his neck. “Yes, ma’am; I can see that well enough. It’s just that Bain Campbell here told me…”
“I don’t have to tell you how reliable Bain Campbell’s word is against anyone or anything that ever happens on Bruins’ Peak.”
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