by An Na
A saleswoman in her fake lab coat came over. “May I help you ladies?”
“We’re just looking,” Gina said and grabbed Joyce’s hand again, pulling her down the aisle. The photographs of flawless models’ faces peered down at them as they walked from counter to counter. Their brightly colored eyelids beckoned to Joyce. She stood before them mesmerized.
Like most Asian girls, Joyce knew about the san-gah-pu-rhee or double eyelid fold surgery, but Joyce didn’t actually know anyone who had gone through with it except for Gomo, and that didn’t really count. Once a few years back, when Joyce and her family had visited Korea, her cousin had showed her some magazines and said she dreamed about getting the surgery that many girls in Korea got as birthday or graduation presents. Joyce recalled being slightly curious, but waved it off as just another crazy Korean fad.
Joyce studied the poster-sized close-up of the model’s face. The layers of color on her eyelids fanned out like the feathers of a peacock. Now that Joyce’s attention had been drawn to this detail, she couldn’t stop staring at the fold or lack of a fold in all the women she knew and met.
Gina had nice almond-shaped eyes, normal by Korean standards, but she did not have the double eyelids that Western women took for granted. Joyce’s mother had narrow creases above her eyes, and when Joyce asked about them, wondering if she had already gone through with the surgery before leaving Korea, Uhmma explained that years of applying makeup and older thin skin had naturally caused her folds to appear. Helen didn’t have to worry about getting a fold like Joyce. Her eyes were so large, even without the creases, that people sometimes thought that she was Hapa or half Asian and half Caucasian, just like John Ford Kang. Joyce turned and found a mirror. Her eyes had never seemed narrow before, but as she stared at herself surrounded by the faces of countless models, the hurtful term slant-eyes popped into her head. Her gaze shifted back and forth from the shape of the models’ eyes to her eyes. Joyce raised her fingertips to the outer edges of her eyelids. Why hadn’t she noticed how thin and small they were? No wonder John mistook me for Lynn, Joyce thought.
Joyce widened her eyes, raising her eyebrows as far as they would go, and turned to Gina.
“How do I look?”
Gina glanced up from studying some facial cleansers.
“Like a scared dweeb. And your eyes aren’t going to look like that after the surgery.”
Joyce frowned and relaxed her eyebrows.
Gina moved on to some blushes arranged like a palette of watercolor paints. Joyce followed behind.
“You know, it’s major surgery,” Joyce said. “Remember last month when that woman collapsed after she got lipo? I mean, I could die.”
Gina gave her a sideways glare.
“I don’t know if I can go through with it, but Uhmma will kill me if I offend Gomo. And if a lot of Asian girls get this surgery, then how come we don’t know anyone who did it? Maybe they had it done but didn’t tell anyone. I don’t want people always staring at my face and wondering what’s real and what’s not. What if they point and whisper behind my back? And it’s gotta hurt afterwards. You know how much I hate pain. I even have to put Band-Aids on paper cuts. What if I can’t see for a while? How am I going to get around? What if—”
Gina suddenly reached out and grabbed Joyce by the shoulders, giving her a good shake. “Joyce. Stop it. What are you complaining about? Damn. So many girls would be dying to be in your shoes. Your Gomo is going to PAY for you to get the fold. Come on!”
Joyce stepped back. “Would you do it?”
Gina threw up her hands. “Of course. In a heartbeat. It’s free!”
Joyce pushed her hair behind her ears and turned to face her image in the mirror. “Do you think it’ll make me look okay? I won’t look weird and fake?”
Gina came up behind her. “You’ll look like yourself only better. More alert,” Gina said and widened her eyes slightly.
“I still don’t know,” Joyce said.
“What is so different about getting your eyes done compared to the time your Gomo paid to get your teeth fixed? I would kill to have a rich aunt fix my flaws.”
Joyce ran her tongue over her perfectly aligned teeth. “I guess, but the eye-fold thing seems more extreme.”
Gina made a choking noise and went back to studying the blushes. She lifted up the display box and pulled out a cotton ball.
“How did you know that was there?” Joyce wondered.
Gina blotted the cotton ball to the shell pink blush and gingerly swept it across her cheekbone. “I work here, Joyce.”
Gina finally picked out two tubes of gloss and a small container of loose powder. After buying them for her, Joyce called it even.
“You owe me, now,” Joyce said.
Gina smiled. “That’s the way it should be. Feels good to have the natural order of our friendship restored. I was starting to get that high and mighty feeling.”
Gina took Joyce’s hand and pulled her forward. “Come on.”
“Where are we going now?” Joyce asked.
“To get your eyes done!”
The two girls hid behind a particularly large display of potpourri, candles and paisley makeup bags. Gina picked up a bottle of perfume from the counter and sprayed some on her wrist before slowly turning around.
“There she is,” Gina said, bringing her wrist up to her nose and quickly pointing in the direction of a pretty Asian woman arranging some brochures on a counter.
“She had the surgery done?”
“I don’t know,” Gina said, her eyes fixed on the woman. “But she sells the best makeup for Asian women and their eyes.”
“Huh?” Joyce said.
“Trust me.”
“Gina. Wait!” Joyce stumbled out from behind the display, trailing after her determined friend.
Gina plopped herself on one of the white terry-cloth-covered stools and motioned Joyce over to do the same. Joyce was too embarrassed to sit, so she stood next to the stool.
“Aren’t these for people who pay?” Joyce whispered.
“Stop being such a worrywart,” Gina scolded.
The Asian saleslady glanced in their direction and finished arranging her brochures before gliding over to them. Joyce noticed that even her walk resembled something she had seen on television. The perfect swivel in the hips, hands gracefully swinging along. Joyce made a note to herself to practice walking that way at home.
“Do you have a question, girls?”
Gina answered with a haughty voice. “My friend is looking for some eye makeup for her sister’s wedding.”
“Oh.” The saleswoman seemed surprised that they had a legitimate reason for being there. “When is the date?”
Gina breezed through the answer. “It’s next week. We don’t have a lot of time because Joyce still has to go in for her final dress fitting, but I told her that you do the best Asian eyes in the business.”
The saleslady issued a charmed laugh. Gina joined in while grabbing Joyce by the back of her shirt. “She’s the maid of honor,” Gina said and forced Joyce to sit on the terry-cloth stool.
Joyce gulped. She hated when Gina did this. How many times had she gotten dragged into one of Gina’s schemes only to have the whole thing backfire? Please, please don’t ask me any questions, Joyce thought.
The saleslady carefully studied Joyce’s face, lightly touching Joyce’s chin when she wanted Joyce to turn her head to the left or right. She smiled at Joyce.
“Why don’t I do your entire face and that way we can really make your eyes shine. My name’s Arlene, by the way, if you have any questions.”
Gina nudged Joyce.
“I’m Joyce.”
Arlene smiled. “Well, Joyce, let’s get started with a concealer for the blemishes and then a light foundation.”
A sleepy feeling of well-being settled over Joyce as Arlene lightly powdered her face with a large fluffy brush. It was like the feeling she got while getting her hair washed before a haircut. It was nice
having someone take care of you.
Joyce could feel Arlene’s breath on her forehead as she lightly dabbed a bit more foundation around the scab at her temple.
“You really shouldn’t pick,” Arlene admonished.
“You sound like my mom,” Joyce muttered, her eyes still closed.
“Sometimes mothers do know best. There, you can open your eyes.”
Joyce slowly opened her eyes and stared into the mirror that Arlene was holding up.
“See how smooth your skin looks?” Arlene said. “Now, when we do your eyes, they are just going to pop right out from that flawless palette.”
Joyce scanned the counter for Gina. “Where did my friend go?”
Arlene was rifling through her makeup drawer. “Oh, I think I saw her head over to the escalators.”
Joyce clenched her jaw. She couldn’t believe Gina had left her alone.
Arlene turned back to Joyce, wielding a black pencil. “Let’s get started on your eyes.”
Carefully, with quick, sure strokes, Arlene lined Joyce’s eyes with smoky black. “You don’t have a strong crease in your eyelids, so I’m going to keep the line fairly thin so that we can still get some color on your upper lids.”
“What do you mean?” Joyce whispered.
Arlene stood back to survey her work before nodding. She pointed up to her own eyes. “See this?” She blinked in slow motion. The same twin crescent moons that Gomo had shown her last night appeared and disappeared each time Arlene blinked.
“Some lucky few are born with the folds, but many Asian women have to surgically create them.”
“Oh.” Joyce noticed that Arlene didn’t say whether hers were natural or not.
Arlene came back with a small compact and showed her the colors of the eye shadow. “What colors did your sister pick for your bridesmaid gown?”
“Huh?” Joyce said.
Arlene smiled patiently. “The color theme. I thought maybe I could complement it with your eye shadow color.”
Joyce still had no idea what Arlene was talking about, but she picked two colors anyway. “Uhm, I think purple and green.”
Arlene looked surprised. “That’s kind of different.” She studied the eye shadow palette in her hands and pursed her lips. “Maybe this velvet brown might work.”
Joyce closed her eyes as she saw Arlene reaching forward with her small angled brush.
“Did your sister hire a wedding consultant?”
“Yeah,” Joyce said quickly.
Arlene spoke more to herself. “I wonder who she went with, because the colors are so unusual.” Arlene pulled back. “She didn’t go with someone from the Valley, did she?”
Joyce tried to look as horrified as Arlene. “Oh, no.”
“I suppose purple and green could look really sophisticated, depending on the shade.”
“Yeah,” Joyce quickly agreed and started to sneeze again.
Arlene handed her a tissue.
“I’m going to start with the darker colors near your eyes and lighten as we get closer to your eyebrows. Most Asians can’t wear more than two or three shades because of the size of their fold.” Arlene stood back to check her work and then brought the brush for a final dusting on Joyce’s lids. Joyce wanted to ask Arlene about the surgery. Maybe she knew people who had come to her afterwards for some makeup tips. Maybe Arlene had undergone plastic surgery. Joyce crossed her legs, uncrossed them, and crossed them again. There was only one way to find out, and her makeup session was almost over.
“Now for your lip color,” Arlene said and reached back for a small rectangular tray that held an assortment of lipstick shades. “I would suggest going with something a little bolder than what you are probably used to. See this color?” Arlene pointed it out.
“Can I ask you a question, Arlene?” Joyce interrupted.
Arlene looked up.
Joyce stared at Arlene’s perfectly creased lids. “Have you ever had plastic surgery?”
A tiny line appeared between Arlene’s eyebrows. “Did someone put you up to this?” she asked.
“No!” Joyce frantically shook her head. “Oh, no. No, not at all.”
Arlene stepped back and evaluated Joyce, but this time, she seemed to be looking at Joyce’s eyes as opposed to her entire face. Arlene’s eyes narrowed. “Did you hear something about me?”
Joyce could feel her face flaming up under all the makeup. Joyce’s hands began to flutter. “No, I didn’t even know you worked here until my friend Gina brought me over to your counter. I was just curious.”
“Well, maybe you should learn to mind your own business.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry. It’s just that. Oh, man.” Joyce’s face itched like crazy, but she knew she couldn’t damage all the work that Arlene had just done. Joyce reached up and scratched the top of her head. “I don’t know what I’m doing here. Well, I do know, but it’s kind of weird. It’s like this. My aunt offered to give me that eyelid surgery. You know, to get the folds put in.”
Arlene raised one eyebrow.
“Really,” Joyce continued. “And I’m not sure if I should get them, but my friend Gina thought that if I got a makeover I might see how good I could look. That, and I owed her money for a yearbook and I had to pay her back and she wanted—”
Arlene lightly touched Joyce’s shoulders. “Joyce, you are babbling. Plastic surgery isn’t something you should jump into because you’re getting it as a gift.” Arlene stepped closer to Joyce and nodded in time to her lecture. “Accidents can happen. Painful, unforeseeable events that can change your whole life and the way you feel. Even the best doctors can’t always anticipate the way your skin will react or heal after the surgery.”
Joyce gulped. “Oh.”
Arlene stepped back. “Now, if you go with this color for your lips, your eyes will look even more luminous.” Without even waiting for an answer, Arlene lightly applied the lipstick to Joyce’s lips and then layered it with some gloss. “There,” Arlene said and swiveled Joyce around.
Joyce stared at herself in the large display mirror. It was her and not her. She could feel the layers of makeup like a film of plastic over her skin. Her lips were plump and shiny red as a new car. The smooth plateau of her cheeks, dewy and flawless, glowed with a pearlescent sheen. And her eyes! Joyce leaned in closer. Her eyes were lightly outlined in black with gradations of smoky browns on her upper lids. Joyce’s eyes definitely looked bigger. They smoldered with an intensity that Joyce couldn’t believe was coming from her. She scowled and found her image mimicking her.
“I can’t believe that’s me!” Joyce said.
Arlene crossed her arms. “All this without one cut or stitch. And there’s no recovery time.”
“Yeah,” Joyce said and shifted her weight on the stool, painfully aware of sitting still for all that time.
Arlene began arranging the products she had used on the counter. “Now, for the wedding, you’ll want to make sure to layer a little more gloss on your lips, especially if you are going to be taking pictures right after the ceremony.”
“Uhm, Arlene,” Joyce said, hopping off the stool.
Arlene turned around. She saw Joyce standing awkwardly by the stool.
“About my sister’s wedding.”
Arlene leaned her weight back and rested her elbows on the counter. “There isn’t a wedding.”
Joyce nodded.
“I thought purple and green sounded pretty suspicious, but then those are the kinds of colors people are picking these days. Always trying to be different and original. I thought I was getting old for a second.”
“Oh, no,” Joyce said. “You don’t look old at all.”
Arlene’s lips twitched. “Thanks, honey.”
Joyce slowly backed away. “I love what you did to my face. And if I had money I would buy all of it. Really, I would. But I just paid back my friend Gina, the one who was here a minute ago. I just wanted to see what my eyes could look like.”
Arlene wave
d her away. “Just be careful and make sure to research your doctor. Get references and check them out.”
Joyce nodded.
“Remember, there’s always makeup!”
Joyce waved and headed over to the escalators. She was going to kill Gina. Right after Gina had finished admiring Joyce’s amazing makeover.
NINE
all the way home, Joyce had to fight the inclination to touch her face. Gina, even while driving her mother’s car, could see Joyce’s hand go up and she would reach out and swat Joyce’s fingers away.
“Joyce, you’ll ruin it.”
“But it itches!” Joyce scratched her neck, which was as close to the real itch as she could get.
“You look fabulous. At least five years older. Don’t you want people to see?” Gina asked.
“I feel like I’m drowning.” Joyce checked her fingernails. “Gross, look at all that makeup.” She held out her hand for Gina to see the foundation caked under her nails.
Gina continued staring forward. She said three words. “John Ford Kang.”
Joyce stopped studying her nails and slouched back into her seat.
At a red light, Gina shifted around and faced Joyce. “Do you want him to mistake you for Lynn again next year?”
“No.”
“Then stop acting like a child.”
Joyce tried not to pout. “I’m just not used to wearing this much foundation.”
Gina rolled her eyes and sped up as the light turned green. Gina dropped Joyce off in front of her apartment complex.
“Promise you won’t wash it off and you’ll go to work with it on?” Gina asked.
Joyce groaned. “No way.”
“Come on, Joyce. You said it yourself, you have to get used to wearing the makeup. Everyone is going to say how great you look.”
“You think so?”
“Yes!”
Joyce sighed deeply to let Gina know how much it hurt. “Fine.”
Gina clapped. “Good. I’ll come by the restaurant later tonight.”
“Where are you going now?” Joyce asked.
“I have to go by the Korean market and then I’m just gonna take more SAT practice tests until I have to pick up my mom.”
