Heartstopper

by Lauren Landish

"Mr. Rawlings, please don't make a scene. Abby was trying to introduce you to him," Shawnie said, trying to be helpful. “If you'd only sit down and let her explain . . .”

  He fixed Shawnie with a glare that could have melted through steel. I'd seen my friend stand up to harassing professors, ignorant frat boys, and even groups of people before, but under his eyes, she withered. She sat back down, her eyes barely still able to make contact with Daddy. "I have approved my daughter's friendship with you previously because she always described you as having a good head on your shoulders. Apparently, she was as mistaken in that as she was in talking to that bastard. Do not speak to me, and do not speak to my daughter ever again. Is that understood?"

  Shawnie's a smart girl, and knew that trying to argue the point with him at that time would be futile. Instead, she was concerned with me, so she pulled her eyes away to look at me. "Are you going to be okay?"

  "She'll be fine," Daddy said, his iron-hard grip on my arm pulling me toward the exit. There were a few of the customers who looked at me with concern, but no one wanted to get in our business. Not with the look in Daddy’s eyes.

  Outside, he let me go and pointed at his car, silent and resolute. He said nothing to me the whole time, the frame shaking as he slammed the door when he got in the car. He jammed the keys in the ignition, twisting them savagely until the starter whined and ground with the still-running engine, then stomping down on the accelerator so that his Escalade squealed rubber going out of the parking lot.

  The whole time driving home, he was dead silent, the only sound in the car being the sound of his breath puffing in and out of his nose. I sat in the passenger seat, trying to figure out what to say, and couldn't. I was miserable, and there was nothing I could do about it. Ironically, the one thought going through my mind was what I'd have to do to get my car back, as it was parked in The Nook's lot. I wondered how long it would take for them to call a tow truck for it. I sighed and leaned my forehead against my window, wanting to cry but not allowing myself the bitter comfort of tears. I was stronger than that.

  When we arrived home, Daddy parked the car and sat there, trying to calm himself. "Abigail, I know that going to college, you get exposed to ideas that I may not agree with. And I accepted that. I'm not so backward and set in my ways that I’m afraid of your exposure to these ideas. I thought I'd raised you correctly, and that you would be able to discern the truth from the bullshit.”

  "But what I saw breaks my heart. It wasn't that you were talking to a traitor. Talking is one thing. But I saw the way you were holding his hand, and the way you were looking at him. You want to break my heart? You want to spit on everyone and everything I find important? Because that's what you did. A fucking traitor, Abby? What the hell’s gotten into you?"

  I couldn't help it. Long repressed tears spilled down my cheeks as I looked at the anguished face of my father. "Daddy, I'm sorry."

  He shook his head and took out his keys. "Most days, that'd have been enough, Abby. But this . . . go to your room. Tomorrow, I'll take you to school for your tests. And I'll pick you up."

  "Daddy, I’m grown. I can go to school on my own," I protested, and he looked back at me. “Besides, my car is parked at The Nook.”

  "Until I know I can trust you again, I don't think so. Now head to your room. You have tests tomorrow. I'll call the restaurant and make sure that your car is taken care of."

  I followed his instructions, closing the door to my room behind me. Falling onto my bed, I let the rest of my tears out into my pillow. I wasn't sure if they were tears of rage, tears of sadness, tears of frustration, or what they were. I just knew they had to get out. I think it was mostly of anger, anger that I was being treated like a child. Either way, the tears were poisoning my body, my heart pounding in my chest and my eyes swelling to the point I could barely see, and I had to get them out.

  I was just starting to gain control of myself when there was a knock on my bedroom door and Brittany came in. "Patrick has asked me to tell you that you’re to have dinner in your room tonight, and that if you need anything, I’ll be the person you should speak to," she said quietly, in a tone totally unlike her. It wasn't cold and it wasn't distant, like I'd expected. Instead, she sounded hollow. "He also asked me to collect your cellphone. He'd have me collect your laptop as well, except he thinks that you might need it for your studying."

  "Brittany . . .” I said, then sighed and dropped my head. Reaching over, I grabbed my backpack and pulled out my smartphone, holding it out to her. "It isn't right."

  For the first time I could think of, I saw frustration in Brittany's face while she took the phone from me and held it while she crossed her arms. I'd seen her piqued plenty of times, usually due to something I did, but I'd never seen this level of pure frustration before. She looked up to the ceiling and took a deep breath, then spoke. "You know, both of you are wrong in this instance. Maybe it’s not my place to say it—but it's true."

  "What do you mean?" I asked, shocked. I'd rarely heard Brittany talk in this way before, and I had certainly never heard her say something negative about Daddy. If she had ever criticized him, she must have done it just between the two of them.

  "I mean, Abby, that Patrick is wrong in the way that he’s handling this, while you were wrong to have met with that man in the first place. What do you even know about him?"

  "A lot," I said, the fire building in my temper. I may not have inherited Daddy's size or physical strength, but I did inherit his stubbornness, even as much as I tried to control it. Sometimes that comes out as anger, whether I want it to or not. "He's not as bad as Daddy thinks he is. He's actually a good man, Brittany."

  "That doesn't really matter now, does it?" Brittany asked. "You lied, Abby. Maybe not explicitly, but you lied by omission. Patrick and I both thought that your stress over the past month has been because of your upcoming finals and graduation. Now we find out that it was over some . . . some boy!"

  "He's not a boy,” I said simply. “If you saw him, you’d never say that again."

  "You think that makes it sound any better?" Brittany asked. She held up her hand, silencing me. "Whatever the case may be, I suspect this has roots going all the way back to that morning you came home after staying out all night. I'm not going to give voice to my suspicions as to what happened that night, although I'm sure Patrick is thinking about the same thing."

  I couldn't say anything but just dropped my head, unable to answer. Brittany sighed, then bonked her head against my door, a sound so natural and unlike her that I couldn't help it, smiling for an instant before disappearing into my other feelings. "That doesn't mean that Patrick has been blameless in his actions either, Abby. There was no reason for him to blow up at you like that, especially not in a public place. God knows what is going to happen to his account that he stormed out of."

  I raised my head, surprised. "What are you talking about?"

  Brittany huffed through her lips, pondering me for a second before answering. "Lake Automotive is looking at expanding, adding a heavy equipment dealership to their lineup. Patrick was meeting with Hank Lake to discuss the possibility of Rawlings Construction building it for them. As Hank is also a rather working-class man, they decided that a casual meeting over beers and some burgers was better than business suits and lawyers, at least at first."

  It answered a question I'd had, and I let my breath escape in a whoosh. "So Daddy wasn't spying on me or following me."

  Brittany chuckled darkly and shook her head. "No, he wasn't. You got caught by pure bad luck, Abby. Basically, at least according to what Patrick said to me, he looked around stretching, only to see you, your friend, and that man talking. He said something, and Hank looked up and remarked that it was . . . what's his name again?"

  "Dane Bell," I answered hollowly.

  Brittany clicked her fingers, nodding. "That's right. Dane Bell. In any case, you know your father. He never forgets something like that, and when he made the connection, he lost his temper."

&
nbsp; "So what now?" I asked. "Brittany, I know you don't want to hear this, but I like Dane. A lot—”

  “Just stop there,” Brittany snapped, cutting me off. I closed my mouth, and she shook her head. “Just stop, please. I know what you want to say, and I'm not going to argue with you. If you're trying to get me to lessen your father's punishment on you, it won't work. But I do want peace in this house, and I do want us all to be a family. This past month, at least until tonight, has been some of the best for me and you, and I'd hope we could continue that. So don't throw a monkey wrench into that just yet. I’ll talk with Patrick, see if he's willing to calm down. I do guarantee you that you will be taking that European History final tomorrow with him sitting in the parking lot—if not in the hallway outside the lecture hall. I guess the housing development in Douglas County will have to get along with just the foreman tomorrow."

  Lessen my punishment? What am I, thirteen? Daddy’s overprotectiveness was never really a problem until now. Things are starting to go a little too far. I’m a grown woman, and at some point, it has to stop.

  “Then I guess I should get to studying," I said, sitting up. There was nothing more to say, and I just wanted to be left alone. "Thank you, Brittany."

  She smiled, and I was struck at how pretty her smile was. I saw it so rarely, and it actually suited her. I wondered if she shared that smile with Daddy, and I hoped she did. “Don’t stay up too late. Make sure you’re well-rested for your test.”

  Brittany left, and I got out of my bed, going over to my little study desk and opening my laptop. She was right. I did have a test, and while I was still emotionally shattered, maybe I could get something else into my mind before trying to go to sleep. I fired up my Mac and went to my professor's course homepage, where the study notes were sitting organized and waiting for us.

  I was just reviewing the ways the battle of Agincourt had changed warfare, and to a lesser degree, British culture, when I got a beep on my messenger program. I’d forgotten that I had it set to auto start whenever I booted up, and I wondered who it was. I was encouraged when I saw it was Shawnie.

  Hey, Shawnie.

  Hey, Abby. I tried calling your phone, but you never picked up. I was worried.

  My friend's concern touched me, and I couldn't help but smile. Daddy confiscated my phone as if I’m still a teenager. I'm still not okay, but I'm doing better than when I left The Nook. U?

  I had to wait a minute while Shawnie typed out her reply, during which I pulled up the Wikipedia on the Battle of Agincourt. If I was going to cram as much as I could last minute, going through the textbook just wasn’t going to work. Besides, I only needed a B on the test.

  Finally, Shawnie's reply popped up. I got home okay. Wish I'd have been able to bum a ride like I'd planned, but the bus was cheap. I was thinking about calling the cops though. He was so mad . . .

  It wasn't that bad, Shawnie. And before you start, I know I'm 22, I'm an adult, yada yada yada. I threw in a couple of emojis, a shrugging one and a sheepish grin, then hit enter.

  Okay, but it's true. Actually, I had another question for you.

  Go ahead, I wrote. I'm just perusing Agincourt.

  Good, I hear it's always on the test. Anyway, I'll be blunt. What were you about to say before your dad yelled out? I hope you weren’t going to say that you love him.

  It was my turn to sit back, thinking. Finally, I decided it was too late in Shawnie's and my relationship to lie. I don’t know.

  Ok. Well, if you need my help, you got it.

  Good ol' Shawnie. I couldn’t have asked for a better friend. Thanks. But for now, the main thing I need is to study. See you tomorrow morning.

  Good night, Abby.

  It took nearly a week, but eventually Daddy started to calm down and relax. I think part of it was when I showed him the results of my History final, an A minus that ensured that I would get on the Dean's List for my last semester as an undergrad. I got my phone back and was even allowed to attend my last few days by myself, without Daddy or Brittany taking me to campus like some sort of junior high school kid.

  During that time, I texted Dane three times, the first to say that I was sorry about what happened, the second as a reply to his asking how I was doing, and the third just to see how he was doing. I didn't want my bad luck to rub off on him. I wanted to text more, but more than that, I wanted to hear his voice again. I just couldn't take the risk though, as desperate as I was. I wasn't sure I could control myself if I did.

  The fact was, other than when I was studying or in the tests themselves, I was constantly thinking about Dane. I’d just finished my last final, the defense of my capstone project with the head of the biology department when my phone rang and I saw that it was an unknown number. A wild idea flashed through my mind, and I answered the phone, hoping that it was Dane calling from a new phone or something. "Hello?"

  "Hi, Abby, it's Chris Lake," Chris said, disappointing me, but at the same time setting loose a wild idea in my mind. "How're you doing?"

  Chris sounded like he hadn't heard about my little incident at The Nook, so I assumed that Dane hadn't told him, nor had his uncle. If they hadn't, I figured there was no reason for me to either. "I'm doing okay, Chris. Just finished my last final. How about you?"

  I could hear him chuckle, but again, there was that sense of something different that I'd felt when I saw him smile the time I'd given him my phone number. It was like I was listening to a stranger, and not the guy I'd dated five years earlier. Most disturbing, though, was that whoever Chris had become, he wasn't exactly someone I was interested in. "I'm doing well. I just closed a pretty big investment property deal and was looking to celebrate. I was thinking of getting together with some people, and wondered if you'd like to come with me. Nothing major, it's not a date or anything, but just a bit of a party out at the site of the deal."

  "Oh? What sort of site?" I asked, curious if nothing else. It wasn't that I didn't like Chris. I just wasn't interested in him. Besides, while it’d require my lying to Daddy, seeing Dane would be worth it.

  "I just closed the deal on a housing development on Blalock Reservoir," Chris said. "It's a little south of Atlanta, near Jonesboro. Do you know it?"

  "I've been down there a few times," I said honestly. It had been years, but Daddy had taken me down there to do some fishing, just for fun. "It's a nice little area. I think the last time I was down there, we went to Lake Spivey. That's nearby, right?"

  "Right. Well, we just signed a deal with the Clayton County Water Authority that's going to allow us to put in a whole development down there. The land actually already has a lake house. That's where the party's going to be."

  My idea started to sound more and more plausible, and I couldn't help it. I smiled. "Sounds like fun. When's the party going to be?"

  My smile must have come through in my voice, because Chris sounded a lot more excited than he had at the beginning of the call. "Saturday at noon. What do you say?"

  Wild hope flared in my chest, and I answered quickly. "I'll see what I can do. Can you text me directions? Daddy's been a bit protective, and he's not going to like a man coming around the house and calling on me right now."

  "That sounds like the Patrick I remember. Okay, I'll send them to you. And bring your swimsuit if you’d like. I think someone's going to bring their boat, and there might be some tubing at least."

  “I might do that. See you later, Chris."

  "See you later, Abby. Bye."

  I headed toward my car when I heard Shawnie call my name. I turned around, waving. "Hey, Shawnie! What're you doing here? I thought your last class was yesterday."

  My friend came closer, shaking her head, the long ringlet curls of her hair bouncing with every motion. "You're right, but did you really think I was going to let you defend your capstone without me at least checking on you? Besides, in the last week I've barely seen you. At least, not without a parental shadow. How're you doing?"

  I took out my car keys and unlocked th
e door. "Tell you what: we can talk while I give you a ride back to your place or something. I owe you that much after The Nook.”

  "I'll always take a free ride," Shawnie said, going around and climbing into the passenger seat. She hissed when her mostly-bare legs hit the dark leather seats of the Camaro that I'd gotten as a high school graduation present, and I noticed she was wearing kinda short shorts. She pulled her knees up and rubbed the backs of her legs. "I keep forgetting about these damn seats.”

  "Don't worry, my A/C is super blasting," I replied, turning on the engine and cranking the cold air. Within seconds, we could already feel a difference, and I put my car into reverse and backed out of my parking spot. "Hey, I just had a call and a crazy idea, and I was wondering if I could run it past you."

  "Go ahead, I love crazy ideas. The Wright Brothers were batshit insane for their day," Shawnie said, slowly lowering her legs to the leather with a contented sigh. "After all, so were a lot of the most famous aeronautical engineers."

  I was stunned for a second, not sure what the hell to say to that, when I just waved it off. “Well, I just got a call from Chris Lake. You remember the name, right?"

  Shawnie nodded as I turned right and headed north toward her apartment. "Yeah, your ex-boyfriend who also knows Dane, and you ran into a little while back. By the way, you're beginning to sound like a soap opera with this love life of yours. What's up with him?"

  "Well, he invited me to a lake party this Saturday, and I was kind of thinking of doing a little rope-a-dope. Shawnie, I've really got to see Dane, but with Daddy all up in my business, I need some help."

  Shawnie grinned and tapped a quick beat on the dashboard of my car in front of her. "I like it. What's your idea?”

  When Daddy got home from the office that night, he found me relaxing in the TV room, stretched out on the couch. He gave me a smile, something that I hadn't realized I missed until we went days without his being anything but angry at me. "Well now, Abby girl, how did it go?"

  "I'll find out in two days. But I think it went really well. If it did as well as I think, I'll be sure to get into the GT Master's program. Also, I had an interesting phone call."