She froze at that, then pulled back a little from me. She looked at my face and said, “Show me your teeth.”
I gave her my best disarming smile, which admittedly looks like I’m going to murder someone, especially when I make it a point to show off my not-exceptionally-pointy incisors. “Satisfied?”
“Not even close, but I guess you’re not a vampire. You wanna get off me so we can talk about this, or you just gonna dry-hump me in the middle of the garage?”
I let her go but drew my Glock and aimed it at her leg. “You touch those fucking sticks again and I’m going to shoot you in the kneecap. I am not in the mood to fight you any more tonight, so I’m just going to end this shit right here and now. You understand?”
“I got you,” she said. I watched as she reached up and with a quick jerk to the right and gout of bright red blood she set her nose back in place. “Fuck! That really hurts.” She glared at me.
I didn’t bother with sympathy because I typically don’t have any. “It’s not nice to kick people in the balls. Bad things happen to people who aren’t nice, like broken noses.”
“Sorry about that. I thought you were a vampire.”
“Yeah, about that,” I started.
She held up a hand. “Not here. Or at least not yet. We need to deal with these bodies before the police get here. Then we need to be someplace else, fast. I don’t know why nobody’s called it in, with all the noise we were making, but I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Can you get the vampire up here? If we put both bodies in the trunk of her car, then it’ll be easier to get rid of everything.”
She started to stand up and I grabbed her arm. “Hold up there, speedy. First off, a Prius does not have a two-corpse trunk. They don’t even make cars anymore with two-body trunks. We’d need to steal an SUV at least. But it’s not a thing. The cops aren’t coming. They’ve got the elevators and the automobile entrances blocked off, and men on all the stairwells waiting for me to give them the all clear. So we don’t have to worry about the authorities showing up because I am the authorities.” And boy, did that ever feel weird to say out loud.
She looked at me with a raised eyebrow and I sighed. “I’m going to reach into my back pocket. Don’t try anything stupid or I will shoot you, okay?”
She glared at me, a sullen scowl that made her look even younger. “Okay.”
I pulled out my wallet and flipped it open to the badge and photo ID Smith insisted I carry. It listed me as a Special Consultant, Department of Homeland Security. It also listed my name as Quince Goddamn Harper because that’s what I told the woman at the ID office when she asked me for the fourth time. My photo was accurate, but unflattering, as I was giving the finger to the camera and rolling my eyes when it was taken. Smith kept pestering me to get a new one, but I was putting it off until the mostly deaf and completely illiterate woman responsible for typing my name incorrectly three times in a row retired.
“This looks like you printed it at home on your inkjet,” she said, tossing the leather bi-fold back to me.
I snatched it out of the air and tucked it back in my pocket. “That right there should be proof enough that it’s real. If I were going to try and fake a government document, I’d likely do a better job than they could manage.”
“Good point. Now what? We leave her here and do what with the vampire?”
“There’s nothing else to be done with the vampire, he’s forever-dead.”
“So what, we just leave?” She asked.
“No, now we go find a place with really, really cold beer and you answer a few questions for me, starting with who you are.”
“I’m all for a beer, but you might need something stronger when I tell you the truth about myself. It’s a little hard to believe, even for somebody who hunts vampires.”
“Why not try me, then we’ll head to this little joint called Valhalla. It’s just a couple blocks from here and they have fish and chips that are almost good enough to deserve the name.”
“Sold,” she said, holding out a hand. I shook it and she looked me straight in the eye as she continued. “My name is Gabriella Van Helsing, and I’m the great-granddaughter of the man who killed Dracula.”
Well, fuck. I heard echo through my thoughts as this news registered with Flynn.
My thoughts exactly, I thought, then went rapidly in search of that beer.
Chapter 6
I walked a couple of steps behind Gabby, as she told me to call her, and pulled out my phone. I sent a quick text to Ren saying nothing more than “911 - Van Helsing in CLT. 911!” Then I sped up to catch the trim woman, noting briefly how nice the view was from the back. For a cold-blooded killer sworn to destroy part of my family, she had a really fantastic ass.
“So you’re a descendant of the Van Helsing from the movie, huh?” It was all I could do to not append “that fat shite” in front of “Van Helsing.” That’s the only way I’ve ever heard the name, after all.
“Yeah, he was my great-grandfather. I never knew him—he died long before I was born.” I knew that was true, since she didn’t look to be any older than her early thirties, and besides, I’d been in the room with her grandparents when old Abraham died in 1906. Old Abraham had always been kind to me, with his thick beard and funny accent, even if he did always ask me questions about Uncle Luke. Mother and Father made me promise to never tell Abraham about Uncle Luke, so it was in complete ignorance of his old nemesis standing right outside the window in the snow that Abraham Van Helsing, legendary vampire hunter, passed in the wee hours of the morning. He was surrounded by his son and daughter-in-law, my parents, the other survivors of the hunt on Dracula, and me.
I watched raptly as the old man’s breathing became labored, then rattled to a stop sometime in the darkest hours of the night. I watched Abraham, I watched my parents for clues on how to act, I watched his family, and every once in a while I went to the window and stared out at Uncle Luke.
Luke stood on a small hill almost a hundred yards away from the window, unmoving. It’s in the stillness when vampires look least human and more like the dead things they really are. Luke stood for hours, never moving so much as an eyelid as his old adversary railed against the dying of the light. I looked out the window one last time after they pulled the sheet up over the old man’s face, and Luke raised his hand, as if in tribute, then disappeared. I didn’t see him for months after Van Helsing’s death, and when he returned, there was a new shadow in his eyes, a new tone of melancholy in his voice.
“Hey, you okay?” Gabby’s voice snapped me back to the present. “Is this the place?” she asked, gesturing to a heavy wooden door with antique hardware. The wooden sign above the heavy door read, “Valhalla.”
“Yeah, this is it,” I said, pulling the door open for her. We entered a low-ceilinged pub with dark wood and about a dozen beer taps. The place was almost full, but the noise level was surprisingly low. We took a booth in the back, and I ordered a double shot of Johnny Walker Black and a beer back.
“Jesus, Harper, go easy on that stuff. I don’t want to have to pour you into a cab,” Gabby said.
“I’ve got a quick metabolism,” I said. Our drinks showed up almost immediately, and I slammed my scotch and motioned the waitress to bring me another. I knocked back half my beer in one long pull and waved a few fingers at the vampire huntress. “Okay, tell me a story, Miss Van Helsing, if that’s even your real name.” I knew it was her real name long before she pulled out her own wallet and slapped her ID down on the table. There was no mistaking her grandmother’s eyes, and her great-grandfather’s cheekbones, and the fire in her eyes that was all hunter. She was going to be a serious problem.
“This might sound a little far-fetched, but you handled yourself back there like somebody who’s seen a thing or two outside the ordinary, so maybe you’ll be able to handle it.” I managed not to snort my beer at the understatement, which I considered an enormous accomplishment, especially with Flynn laughing her ass off inside my
head.
You’re so fucked, Harker. It’s like she’s you, only with boobs!
I hadn’t noticed her boobs until that point, so I took a moment to rectify that oversight. Not bad. Pert, like her ass, and her smile, which fell off her face as she caught me staring at her chest.
“My eyes are up here, asshole.”
“That’s not what I’m looking at, love. I mean, they’re nice and all, but they’re not exactly what’s holding my attention right now. That amulet, where did you get it?” She pulled a gold chain and the rest of the piece of jewelry came into view.
“My father gave it to me when it became obvious I wasn’t going to follow his footsteps and stay the hell away from the family business. It belonged to—”
“Van Helsing,” I said, the words soft. I remembered it dangling from the old man’s hands as he spun it in front of the firelight to entertain a chubby-cheeked little boy. I could almost hear his accented voice talking to my mother. Now, Mina, I know he seems like just an ordinary little boy, but ve must take every precaution to make sure he grows up and remains ordinary. Mein Gott, child, just think what changes that monster may have wrought upon you and Jonathan in your time under his thrall!
It wasn’t until much later that I realized he was using the amulet to see if I felt its power, to see if I was attracted to magical things. I wasn’t, not then. It wasn’t until much later, long after old Abraham was dead and buried, that my talents manifested.
“Yes, how did you know?” Gabby asked, her face suddenly a mask. I could feel the tension rolling off her in waves. Every nerve tight as a bowstring, she was ready to bolt at a moment’s notice.
“I…I saw it in a book, I think. A photograph, or maybe an illustration. It’s how he warded himself from Dracula’s mental powers, right?” I put on a face of an enthusiastic fan, burying the level of my interest.
“Yes, exactly!” she said, clapping her hands a little. “It allows the wearer to resist magical spells and abilities. I’m not sure why it worked on your knockout dust, though. It shouldn’t have any effect on biological or chemical agents.”
“Maybe it’s because I bought it at a Chinese herb shop. The lady at the counter insisted it was ground up unicorn horn and was good for helping others sleep, or for keeping part of me awake, if you know what I mean.”
“Oh great, so I got knocked out by a dose of Viagra? Brilliant.” Yeah, but that was a lot easier than telling her she got knocked out by a spell cast by the nephew of the man her entire family was dedicated to destroying.
“So what brings you to Charlotte?” I asked. “I’m guessing it’s not a gig at one of the banks, like most people.”
“I’m hunting a master vampire. I picked up his trail outside Boston, and I’ve been chasing him down the east coast for the past nine months. He never stays more than a couple of weeks in any city, and he’s usually fastidious about his kills. This is the first time he’s used lackeys and the first time he’s turned anyone. I don’t know what caused the change in MO.”
“Power,” I said simply.
“Excuse me?” Van Helsing asked.
“He’s been building a power base. He started in Boston because that’s where the seat of vampire government in the US is. Or was. My guess would be that he killed all the members of the council and just installed vamps loyal to him in their seats. Or he just killed people until they all started agreeing with him.”
“You talk like you know this guy.” She looked at me over her beer, some local brew called a Jam Session. I hate cute beer names, but it’s a decent brew.
“I know vampires. Consensus-building isn’t exactly on their resumes.”
“And how do you come to know so much about vampires, Mr. Harper?” She was still using the misspelling typed on my badge, and as long as it kept her a couple steps away from Uncle Luke, I was happy to keep her a little confused as to my real identity.
“I don’t know if you noticed the small print on my badge or not, but I’m a part of Homeland Security’s Paranormal Division. We’re kinda like The X-Files, but without the skeptics. I hunt down things that go bump in the night, and I make them stop bumping. Vampires are one of the most common supernatural creatures, and unlike witches and most weres, they don’t just want to be left alone to dance naked under a full moon. They eat people to stay alive, and that’s also how they make more vampires, so I have a professional interest in vampires.”
“But what’s your story, Harper? Nobody graduates from college and wants to be a vampire hunter. It’s personal. It’s always personal. My family has been in this business for over a hundred years, why are you doing it?”
“A vampire attacked my mother. My father rescued her, with some help, but he lost a good friend and got a little chewed in the process. So I grew up knowing that there were bad things out there and that sometimes good people have to stand up against them.” More half-truths. If I get much better at this, I might rethink my personal ban on marriage.
“So now what, Mr. Secret Agent Man?” Gabby asked.
“Now I think the best solution is for you to let us handle this. We’ve got plenty of resources and plenty of experience. We can take care of one vampire, even if he is powerful.”
“But it’s not just one vampire,” she protested. “You saw that tonight. This guy’s got minions, and that means he’s organized and might be making a move on the local vamp boss. Do you have any idea who that is?”
“We do. We’ve actually got a relationship with him and have used him as a resource from time to time.”
“God, the government really will get in bed with anybody. But I guess the devil you know, and all that. But if you think I’m leaving just because you pat me on the head and send me on my merry way, you’ve got another think coming. I’ve been chasing this bastard for months now, and the only way I’m leaving Charlotte is with his heart in a box. Figuratively speaking, of course. I don’t actually carry vampire hearts around in a box. Oh, hi!” She turned to the waitress, who was standing by my elbow looking both shocked and a little queasy at the talk of vampire hearts.
“Do…you two know what you’d like to eat?” the poor pale woman asked.
“I’ll do the fish and chips, please,” I said.
“I can do the same. You have malt vinegar?” Gabby asked. The waitress pointed to a bottle on the table and turned to beat a hasty retreat.
“You guys order enough for three?” asked Detective Flynn as she passed the waitress en route to our table. “Detective Rebecca Flynn, Charlotte-Mecklenburg PD.” She held out a hand to Gabby, who took it. Gabby looked back and forth between the two of us, eyebrows crawling to the ceiling.
“I’m on temporary assignment to Homeland Security as Q’s partner,” Flynn explained. She turned to me. “Cleanup is done with the garage, and Smith wants to debrief you back at HQ as soon as you’re done with your date night. His words, not mine.”
“Oh good lord, Becks, it’s not a date! She’s cute enough, but for Christ’s sake, I’m old enough to be her father!” And that was just how I looked. I was really old enough to be her great-grandfather. “But I’d better go ahead and boogie. You can fill Miss Van Helsing here on everything we do at Homeland Security, and she can give you all the information she had on the new fang-boy in town. I’ll go make nice with the boss, and y’all have a nice kibbutz.”
I left the two women waiting on their fish and chips, something I truly regretted missing out on, and hauled ass back to my car, parked on the curb out front of The Green garage. I hopped into the Honda and smoked the tires pulling out into traffic. I had to get to Uncle Luke and find a way to get him out of town. There was a new Van Helsing in town, and the last thing in the world I needed was a rematch of Stoker’s novel in the streets of Charlotte.
Chapter 7
“I’m not leaving” was Luke’s response to the news of Gabriella Van Helsing’s appearance. “I won’t let that fat shite’s granddaughter run me out of the city I love, especially when that ungrateful
bastard Augustus is in town.”
“I’m not saying she should run you out of town, Uncle Luke. I’m just saying that this would be a great time for that New York vacation you’ve been talking about for the past decade or so. You haven’t even seen Times Square since it went all Disney! You’d barely recognize the place. And Broadway! You love the theatre.”
“Oh yes, Quincy, I’ll jet off to New York and watch some has-been television ‘actor’ in a stage version of a mediocre movie because that’s what passes for original art these days. No, these fools think they can just waltz in here and take over my city? Well, they’ve got another think coming!”
“I think only one of them wants to take over the city. I think the other wants to kill the one who wants to take over the city. And every vampire, like, ever. So, by extension…you,” I said. “Ren, would you help me out here?”
“I’m sorry, Master Quincy, I must agree with the Count’s assessment of these circumstances. The only acceptable response to a threat from an outside force is to destroy the threat. Abandoning our city and our responsibilities to it simply is not an option.”
“What responsibilities?” I asked. “You drink people, and every once in a while you bail my ass out of jail or something else stupid that I’ve done. And I have the whole federal government to do that now! So I’m good. And we can find people for you to drink in Atlanta, or Nashville—”
“I hate country music,” Luke cut in.
“Then Memphis! Whatever. Please, Uncle Luke, just take a couple weeks and vanish while I deal with Gus and little miss Helsing. I’ll get everything straightened out and you can come home, I promise.” I reached into my pocket and grabbed my vibrating phone. The screen read “Flynn,” so I swiped my finger across it.
“You’ve been talking to me inside my head all night and now you decide to call? What’s up?”
“The whole head-to-head thing was giving me a headache. Where are you?”
Hell on Heels - A Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter Novella Page 4
