by Marian Tee
He caught the pillow handily with one hand and without looking up from my history book. "Pillow fights are not included in my hour."
"Pillow fights are not included in my hour," I mimicked and threw another.
He caught it again and placed the pillow on the foot of the bed, but this time he looked up. "I missed you, you know."
I froze.
No, he didn’t say that, he couldn’t have said that. Luka never said anything he didn’t mean so why would he say that?
When I still didn’t answer, he continued quietly, “I always did, and I always thought about you.”
I bit my lip hard. What was the point of all this? Had he forgotten what he had done?
“You might have thought I was completely gone, but I…wasn’t. I was always in the background---”
“Stop lying to me---”
Luka’s voice became thin and hard. “I was there on your eighteenth birthday, watching outside, seeing how you almost let another guy fucking taste you---”
“NO.” The thought of Luka seeing me at my weakest was impossible to bear. I tried to scramble away, but Luka easily hauled me back and I landed on his lap like a spitting cat, trying to claw out of his arms.
“That was my fault,” Luka said quietly even as I didn’t stop struggling in his arms.
My control broke. “Damn you.”
“I’m already damned,” Luka whispered. “For almost three years---”
I covered his mouth, not wanting to hear it. I didn’t think I’d ever be ready to hear it. He wasn’t supposed to apologize. I hadn’t risked everything to take vengeance on him just to let one measly ‘sorry’ wipe away all the pain I had suffered in the past years.
He had to pay.
I had to make him pay.
Because if I didn’t, I didn’t know what else was there to do in my life.
Luka pulled my hand away when I stared sightlessly at him, not daring to blink because I didn’t want to waste even another drop of my tears for him. Luka didn’t deserve any of my tears. I knew that now.
Pain threaded his voice as he said, “I’ve always wanted to apologize…what happened during your come-out ball---”
I pulled away from him, scrambling off his lap so I could sit at the foot of the bed, my back to him, legs dangling at the side. “We won’t ever talk about that,” I said thinly. We mustn’t. It still hurt and it always will.
Luka's eyes turned bleak. “So be it.”
Over the crazy drumming beat of my heart, I asked hoarsely, “Will you be back for good this time?” And would saying yes change my plans?
“No.”
Moot point, Caylie. When would I ever learn?
“But I’ll stay for as long as you need me. I promise.”
I didn’t stir at his answer, and I knew he didn’t expect me to. His answer tore me apart because it was something I had still wanted to hear, but it was also something I knew couldn’t be true.
Never wear your heart on your sleeve. It was yet another motto our race cherished, and those words ensured my shredded heart remained a secret inside me.
So be it as well, I thought numbly. This time it would be different. This time I wouldn’t be the one in tears when it was time for him to go.
Chapter Three
Caylie
30 Months Ago
The bullying started not less than 24 hours. First there were the tweets, more obscene than grotesque. Then there were the posts on Facebook and everywhere else where other kids in school could know how Caylie had lost it in last night’s Brethren ball.
She was such a dog lover she liked her anal doggie style, like a true bitch in heat.
She acted high and mighty with Caros, but her secret fantasy was to have all her holes fucked by humans.
When Caylie escaped to the ladies’ room the next day in school, needing to take a breather from all the nasty stares and mocking words, someone had already beat her to it.
Where’s your little mongrel shit now?
Caylie pulled out several sheets of tissue from the dispenser, wetted it, and wiped the mirror clean furiously. They were wrong. They were all wrong. Luka had a reason for doing what he did last night. He would come back. He would come back.
But he didn’t.
Present Time
I was still in a daze when I got to school the next day. Last night had been everything I had hoped for and feared. Luka Georgiades had been even more quietly charming than I remembered him to be, patient and sweet in the most subtle ways. But he had also been different, smoldering in a way that he never did before, his gaze blazing barely-concealed desire that had me sucking my breath every so often.
I knew he wanted me. He always had since the time we first kissed, but now it seemed as if he wanted me not just because my body was his secret obsession. There was something else – something I couldn’t quite put my finger to.
Without planning to, I dug my phone out, scrolling down scores of messages that flooded my inbox just so I could read his text this morning.
Good morning, mi vavli. Heading to the Brethren now. Don’t be late for school.
It took everything not to have my fingers curl hard around my phone and crush it into pieces. I wasn’t as strong as most Caros but in the mood I was in, I had a feeling I could battle even one of the Morteia if I wanted to. Or at least I had a feeling I could, if I ever did meet one of the Morteia, an elite band of warrior nobles chosen by fate to train as our race’s deadliest weapons.
“Caylie!” Sabina and Ever were suddenly there, one on each side, pulling me forward while giving me expectant and anxious looks.
“What happened?” Ever demanded.
“Everything is according to plan,” I answered briefly.
“He’s in love with you already?” Sabina tried to make light of the situation, no doubt after seeing the strain in my eyes.
I shook my head. Luka’s piercing amethyst eyes flashed in my mind, and I remembered the way he had stared at me, his lean hard body unbelievably tense under his immaculate-looking suit, his gaze drawn to my breasts.
Memory still lingering in my mind – and a few other parts of my body that I didn’t want to react to the memory but did, I said slowly, “Let’s just say he can’t want anyone else as much as he wants me.”
My friends didn’t speak, and an awkward silence was born.
I stiffened. “What is it? Don’t hide it from me. Just---” I stopped speaking when Ever handed me her phone, its screen revealing the web page of a popular Caro tabloid you could only access with a secret password.
Luka Georgiades Seen Last Night with Youngest Sister of Heir Apparent Domenico Moretti!
A furious hiss of betrayal escaped me, just in time for Ms. Chambers, our literature professor, to catch sight of my fangs slipping out. “Caylie Sonora!” she snapped, coming to a dead stop in front of me.
Immediately, my fangs retracted but I was still trembling.
Here was yet another sign that Luka was different, that I was right not to trust him, that I deserved to get back at him.
I forced a smile of apology on my lips, mumbling, “I’m sorry, Ms. Chambers. It won’t happen again.”
“Detention for you today, Ms. Sonora,” she said before stalking off.
“What’s wrong, Caylie?” Sabina asked the moment we took our seats in class, with me in the middle.
A part of me wanted to tell them the truth, but a part of me hated how it would make me appear pathetic again.
“Luka…” I took a deep breath.
Ever gazed at me expectantly.
Pride won over honesty. “He totally wants me still. That one in the tabloid is spy stuff, for the Brethren. Last night, I knew what I had seen. He missed me, he really did. He was near crying when he said, ‘Caylie, I miss you, I want you back in my life.’ He says he’s not going anywhere.” There was no guilt in my conscience as I exaggerated things. It was a…little flaw I had, the one that Luka used to berate me all the time for. I liked…em
bellishing things.
Ever was frowning though. “He really said that?”
I tossed my hair. “Of course!” Oh God of Caros, save me. Don’t let them catch me lying. This was another…little habit of mine. I liked to pray to the God of Caros because I had a feeling he had a greater tendency to cheat. The God of Humans may be a lot more powerful, but he was a little too saintly for our tastes.
Ever’s frown deepened. “But Caylie, don’t you think that’s well…weird?”
It was my turn to frown. “Weird in what way?”
“Well, doesn’t that make it sound like you two were in love instead of just friends who had a falling-out?”
I stared at her in utter bewilderment before bursting into incredulous laughter. “Of course not! I mean, honestly, Ever – that’s just not possible. It’s all about friendship with benefits. I like kissing him, but it doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten he’s an asshole. And he may like---”
Thinking about what Luka liked was not a good idea as it sent a flurry of sizzling hot memories to torture me.
Luka staring at my breasts, his eyes intense, wanting to suck me long and hard---
I willed myself not to flush red at the images that burned through my mind.
“He might be half-Caro, but it’s just a technicality. He’s more Caro than anyone else and he would never be stupid enough to fall in love.” I lifted my shoulders in a dismissive shrug. “How could he be after what he did to me?”
Neither of my friends seemed convinced. Finally, Ever said with a sigh, “Just be careful, Cay.”
“It’s exactly as I said so,” I told her firmly. We all turned away from each other, having heard our professor enter the room. My mind however was still on Ever’s absurd thought.
Luka in love with me?
The words worked like a password, unlocking a memory from my mind. Suddenly, all I could think about was how Luka had stared at me last night, and how my body had responded to that look---
He couldn’t. It just didn’t make any kind of sense.
~~~
It wasn’t my imagination or ego talking when I say that more people were looking at me the next day in school. News traveled extremely fast in our society, and by now everyone knew that Luka Georgiades was my rehabilitator. None of them probably forgot that Luka and I had history, too – the bad kind.
Lunch break had just started when Sabina stopped dead in her tracks as we reached the foot of the stairs. “Damn. I feel my stomach grumbling. I didn’t have my intake yet.”
That meant she hadn’t drunk blood for the day. At our age, we needed to drink over a glass each day, and blood intakes were something only permitted in Brethren-regulated sites outside our homes. In our school, that would be the clinic.
“See you at the caf,” Ever said, and we waved at her goodbye before heading to the cafeteria, which was more like a hotel lobby with uniformed waiters walking around constantly, ready to be at the beck and call of students.
Incandescent lamps hung from the ceiling while classical music played in the background. The air-conditioning ensured that the humidity outside didn’t get to us, and all the windows were heavily tinted and covered with dual-layered blinds to prevent even the smallest ray of sunlight from sneaking inside.
Ever pointed to one of the vacant plush couches. “Let’s wait for Sab there.” We were barely seated when someone called out my name, the familiar voice almost making me wince.
I tried to pretend I didn’t hear anything, but it was futile.
“Caylie, didn’t you hear me?”
My smile was ready when I turned around to look at Jeffrey Kirk, a good-looking blond of medium height. His father held an important position in the Brethren, and he liked to use it as an excuse for throwing his weight around whenever he could get away with it.
“Sorry, Jeff. I’m just worrying about this paper I have to pass tomorrow. I really need to work on it.” Please, please, please take the hint.
He didn’t. “That’s okay, beautiful.” Jeffrey took a seat next to me on the couch, forcing Ever to move to the side. Behind him, Ever rolled her eyes at me.
I wanted to roll my eyes back. No one could ever accuse Jeff of being subtle.
Scooting to the side to place more distance between me and Jeff’s frequently roaming hands, I managed a smile for Jeff, prompted by the politeness ingrained in me by years of strict etiquette training under Luka.
The smile was a mistake. It made Jeffrey move even closer, forcing me back until there wasn’t any other place to move. He said huskily, “There’s a party tonight at David’s. Are you going?”
I shook my head and said with a regretful note, “Sorry, Jeff, I have that paper I’m working on, remember? I’ve got to study.”
His eyes boggled.
Should I feel amused or offended?
“You? Study?” He burst into laughter. “Come on!”
Mmm…offended, I think. I gave him a stony stare. “Is there anything funny?”
Jeff’s smile faded. “Hey, chill. But…” His forehead creased. “You’re really going to study tonight?”
I nodded. “Yup.”
“Let me study with you then,” he suddenly said.
“Uh, y-you can’t,” I stammered, taken aback by his unexpected answer.
“I think it’s going to be fun,” Jeff continued, face breaking into a grin again. “We can study together then afterwards…” He shrugged and gave me a flirtatious smile.
Maybe it was just Jeff, but I had a feeling it was me. Something was wrong with me. Jeff was hot in anyone’s standards, but somehow that smile – the lust in it – just left me cold, revolted even. I looked away, not wanting him to see the dislike in my eyes. “I’m sorry. It just isn’t possible. I’m grounded.”
His fingers curled around my wrist.
I tried not to shiver in disgust. One thought flashed in my mind.
Only Luka could touch me like this.
I stiffened.
How could I feel like that when Luka obviously didn’t have any problems letting other women paw his body?
When Jeff pulled me close, bitter anger at Luka’s continued deception made me swallow my revulsion as he turned me around to face him. “Come on, beautiful. What do you say?” His lips came closer.
I forced myself to stay still even as my mind recoiled and my heart threatened to explode at the thought of letting another man kiss me.
“You’re in my seat.” Someone pulled Jeff away just before his lips smashed against mine. As he turned away with a mutter of irritation, I almost collapsed against the couch in relief, feeling like I had just been saved from disaster.
Sabina was glaring at Jeff. Unlike Ever or me, she had no problems at all being rude.
Jeff’s face immediately smoothed. “It’s all yours now, darling.” He really was a shameless flirt.
Sabina didn’t return his smile, but Jeff didn’t seem bothered. He winked at me. “See you in my dreams.”
I was doing my best not to smile at my friends’ wide-eyed stares as Jeff walked away.
“See you in my dreams?” Sabina finally sputtered. “Seriously? That line…seriously?”
“That’s so…I don’t know…1990’s?” Ever giggled.
The rest of the day passed quickly. I couldn’t even remember much of it. All my thoughts were centered on one thing – on one person.
Luka, Luka, Luka.
Oh, God, this obsession had to stop.
“Bye, Caylie! See you tomorrow!” My friends waved at me one last time before getting in Sabina’s car. They were off God knew where while I had to head back home for rehabilitation. As I turned around, I heard Jeff calling my name again. My first instinct was to pretend that I hadn’t heard him, but that would be the second time I’d be doing that for the day. It would be unbelievably rude, unheard of for a Caro.
Still undecided, I heard my name being called again---but it wasn’t the same voice.
My head jerked up.
Luka?
My eyes widened. It was him!
Luka stood next to a top-of-the-line Lexus, wearing his usual suit and tie getup. It was so unfair that he had to look so unbelievably gorgeous and mature in it when he was only a year older. The longer I stared at him, the more I…craved.
Even after everything, he was still the most beautiful thing alive in my eyes. Just seeing him, feeling his presence – it made my heart ache and my tears feel itchy. It made a part of me wish we could rewind the time even though it could never be.
I took my time walking toward him because it let me enjoy the view even longer. Oh God of Caros, but was it really fair to our race to bless someone with such looks and intensely raw sexuality?
Even this far, my entire body was already tingling for his touch, practically humming and throbbing for it. The power he kept tightly leashed was impossible to ignore, and it had every girl or woman within a five-meter radius looking up and swallowing, wondering why they were suddenly becoming wet between their legs.
When I stopped just a few inches before him, I was ready.
“Hello, Luka.” I gazed at him under my lashes, not doing anything to hide the desire in my eyes.
Luka lifted a brow.
A smile tugged at the corners of my lips. Some things never changed. The faintly inquisitive look on Luka’s face was a bittersweet sight. I remembered being the recipient of it so many times in the past. It was his way of politely expressing his surprise when he caught me trying to sneak outside our home by dressing up as a chamber maid when I was grounded. It was the same look he gave me when he also caught me playing hooky as I tried to scale the twenty-foot walls of my school during lunch break.
Right now, it was his way of silently asking why I was so brazenly ogling him when I never used to do so. Pulling him down by tugging his tie, I whispered to his ear, “This is a lovely surprise.” I made sure my breath tickled his ear.
I felt the slightest shudder go through his powerfully hard body, and even as it made me feel triumphant, it also made me want him more.
