by Dave Renol
“I think they’re fine, and if you rub it down more, you might make a hole. You might want to dirty it up a mite, though.”
He jumped, as if startled. “I didn’t say that out loud… did she just read my mind?”
“Of course you said…” I began, and then stopped as I figured out what just happened. “Holy cow, you really didn’t say that out loud, did you?”
“No I didn’t,” he said, still looking like he got slapped upside the head. “You figured out how your telepathy works the other way now,” he thought to me.
“How many days did we spend trying to figure that thing out without any luck?” I said in disgust. “Now it just happens when we ain’t even trying.”
“Don’t speak out loud, just use your mind. If it was a fluke then you might lose it if you don’t get it down pat.”
“What should I say?” I sent back.
“It doesn’t matter; we just need to keep talking like this for a while until we’re sure we won’t forget how to do it.”
“This is kinda neat,” I sent.
I was feeling excited about finally learning a skill that, last week, I couldn’t figure out for the life of me.
“I think calling it ‘kinda neat’ is a huge understatement. This is the coolest thing I’ve ever seen, although I gotta admit that once again, you scared the crap out of me. If you keep scaring me with your new powers, you’ll have to get me some fresh underwear the next time we go on a mission.”
“I could do that,” I sent, after a moment of thinking on it. “In fact, if we could casually find out what the others need we could maybe do a little shopping list for them and slip it into the donations pile at the shelter.”
“That would be cool, but with your powers growing this fast, I think you’re aiming too low. Why not just rob a bank and pass out the cash to all our friends?”
“No way,” I shouted out loud, in disgust at the idea. “I don’t mind helping us or our friends with some basic stuff that makes our lives a little better, but I ain’t gonna go robbing no bank, you twit!”
“Ok, ok,” he said, raising his hands. “It was just an idea to help save some time.”
“It was a damn fool idea, and besides… what would Sam do if we gave him a pile of cash?”
“He would go looking for drugs. Yeah, ok… it was a bad idea.”
“Let’s just let it go for now until we can come up with a good solid plan to help them with. Let’s take care of ‘old-ing’ the shoes we nicked for ‘em and we can maybe figure out what else they need while we slip them the goods.”
“That sounds fine,” I agreed. “Most of them will be at the soup kitchen tonight, so we can give ‘em all a look over and figure out what else they might need.”
“Sweet, we can be like Robin Hood stealing from the rich and giving to the poor.”
“I know that one, he was pretty cool,” I said, with new excitement in my voice.
“X-Men or the Fantastic Four are way cooler, but Robin Hood might be a better match for us, since you’re the only one that can actually do anything. Do you think we should recruit some of our friends to fill out the Merry Band?”
“It was a real stretch when I first showed you what I could do. I’ll need to think real hard on who else I can trust before I bring anyone else in.”
“I can think of a few people we could bring in safely.”
“If you tell anyone about this I’ll kick you in the nuts so hard it’ll cause an echo in your empty noggin!”
“Easy,” he said, reflexively folding his hands over his groin. “I already told ya I would keep it a secret and I always keep my promises.”
“Ok, forget it. Let’s get the rest of these shoes done up fast so we can get them handed out tonight. We need to move on it or we’ll miss dinner at the kitchen.”
“Then stop talking and start scuffing,” I said. “The sooner we get rid of this stuff, the better off I’ll feel.”
***
“What the heck does this mean?” I asked, fuming.
“Just what it says, dear,” Gladys replied, waving at the sign that caused my outburst. “Old Tom declined to renew our lease on the building, so we’re forced to shut it down next month.”
This was a disaster. Too many of us relied on the shelter here to be able to easily relocate. If everyone had to move to the bigger city, then that place would be overloaded, not to mention the danger of homeless people in a strange territory.
The big city was ten times more dangerous, especially for people like Sue and me. There were recruiters for the nasty business there, and them recruiters didn’t exactly ask nicely for you to join them. The big city was nothing but big trouble.
“He can’t do that,” I wailed. “That place has got like a million people and none of us can handle that!”
“It’s only eighty or ninety thousand, and y’all will do just fine there. Just remember that more people will mean more donations, and frankly, the donations around here have been pretty slim lately.”
“If there was more donations here, you think it might help convince that old skinflint to change his mind?”
“It’s possible, but I wouldn’t hold my breath. He’s a fine old gentleman, so don’t you be calling him a skinflint, young lady. Once he gets himself started down a path, it’s hard to steer him down a new one, so it would take something real big to make him change his mind.”
“Thanks for the tip,” I said, as we headed inside to the chow line. Even after dinner I was still fuming at what that old bastard was about to do to me and my friends. Rich people had no idea what their greed did to the little guys, and it really pissed me off.
As soon as I started thinking about ‘rich people’, Joey’s earlier comment about Robin Hood popped into my head. In a roundabout way, he might’ve had a really good idea. If my new plan worked, I might be able to get a bit of revenge on old Skinflint Murphy while saving the shelter at the same time.
“Joey,” I sent to him. “Who were you thinking of when you made your Robin Hood suggestion earlier?”
He seemed startled at the sudden speech in his head, but recovered fast and thought the reply back to me rather than blurting it out loud. “I was thinking Billy and Dumb Charlie are both pretty good about keeping secrets. Are you thinking about going ahead with it?”
“Gladys said that if the donations were better, then this place might not have to close down. I’ve got an idea that might help save this place, but we’ll need a couple more people to make it work.”
“Cool,” he thought. “Let’s catch them before they leave. I’ll grab Billy if you wanna go ask DC.”
“Sounds good,” I sent back, getting up to catch Charlie who was already heading for the door. “Tell Billy it’s important and we’ll bring them both back to your flop before we spring the super powers on them. It might take all night to convince them we can do this, but as of right now, Operation Robin Hood is in effect.”
I was full to the brim with new purpose and I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. This was gonna be fun.
Chapter 7
Sheriff Baker: Strange Things Afoot
“I’m telling ya, this has got to stop now!” Tom Murphy said, his voice rising with every word.
“So much for a nice quiet lunch with Maria,” I thought.
“Look, Tom, I know you’re upset, but what do you expect me to do about it? My boys have been pulling double shifts all week to make sure there’s been a good presence on the street, but even in a small town like this we can’t be everywhere at once.”
“What I expect is for you to do your damn job!”
“Well,” I drawled. “Maybe you shouldn’t have voted down my request for a budget increase last council meeting.”
“Don’t you get me started on that topic; we’ve beaten it to death already. All I’m concerned with is this string of thefts that seem to be targeting me specifically. I’ll admit that any one theft on its own is small potatoes, but when you add them all together it’s
really starting to add up fast.”
“What do you mean by that?” Maria asked, pulling out her tablet to take some notes. “How many thefts have there been lately?”
“Too damn many, I’m telling’ ya. Barely a night goes by that they don’t hit one of my places.”
“What kind of stuff are they taking?”
“Well, that’s the part that has me puzzled,” he admitted, calming down slightly in his confusion. “They don’t seem to be taking any of the high dollar items when they break in.”
“Give me some examples.”
“The first things my security guys thought that went missing were some shoes. It was seven pairs of them, to be exact. This was followed by seven pairs of pants, seven shirts, and seven jackets. Also included were even amounts of stuff like toiletries, underwear and socks, so it seems pretty obvious there are seven of these bastards in on it.”
“That’s a definite pattern, but why would they break into a store and steal nickel and dime items?”
“It gets both worse and stranger. Shoplifting of small foodstuff items at the superette is up thirty percent this month, and for the first time ever, I’m seeing missing stock for larger items such as frozen chickens and the like.”
“Frozen chickens?” I asked. “Gladys at the soup kitchen was as happy as a lark yesterday when someone gave an anonymous donation of a whole pile of frozen chickens.”
“Those bastards,” he sputtered. “Not only are they stealing from me, but they don’t even have the decency to steal for a good reason. It’s like they’re at it just to piss me off.”
“Helping the homeless seems like a good reason to me,” I mumbled.
“You said they haven’t taken any really high dollar items,” Maria said, typing furiously on her little screen. “Does that mean they’re ignoring things like alcohol and tobacco when they rob your store?”
“My beer inventory came up short by two six packs last week, but that’s actually lower than normal. I think old Eddy’s filching that and someday I’m gonna catch him at it and give him a right good whooping.”
“If you catch Eddy stealing beer, you give me a call,” I said, laughing at the thought of Tom trying to give Eddy a licking. “If you actually hit him, then not only could he press charges for assault, he would probably turn around and kick your ass.”
“I wasn’t planning on doing it myself,” he mumbled, his face turning red in embarrassment.
“It really does sound weird,” Maria said, finally coming up for air from her tablet. “This isn’t really my reporting area, but maybe I could put a rough piece together and give it to the Mountaineer for next week’s edition.”
“There’s one more thing, weirder than all of the rest combined. Someone broke into my sports bar last night and took a whole pile of stuff!”
“You never reported that,” I said, indignant.
“That’s why I was out looking for you, you damn fool.”
“Easy, Tom,” I said. I was starting to get a little pissed off at his attitude. “Cut out the insults and cut to the chase; what did they steal from the bar?”
“Well, in keeping with their insulting pattern of thefts, they totally ignored all of the booze on the shelf behind the bar. Instead, they hit the kitchen and as near as Jimmy could tell, they made off with about two dozen burgers, a case of chicken wings, and two big bags of frozen French fries.”
“That’s a little odd. Why would they take bulky items like that?” I asked.
“I haven’t told ya the odd part yet,” he said, sounding a little hesitant. “The really weird thing is not only did they steal the food, they took the time to cook the damn stuff first!”
I had seen and heard a lot of strange stuff in my twenty years in law enforcement, but I had to admit this took the cake. “They actually cooked the food before they stole it? Are you kidding me? What happened to your security system?”
“Don’t ask me, I’ve been trying to figure out the same thing myself. None of the door alarms were tripped, and they somehow got a grocery bag over each video camera without being seen themselves.”
“I believe I would like to see those surveillance tapes myself,” I slowly said, trying to think of a way it could’ve been done.
“They’re all yours,” He said in disgust. “I’ve had my guys all over those tapes and they couldn’t find shit. Let me call up Jimmy. I’ll have him drop the tapes off at your office so you can try and find something that makes sense.”
As he turned away to make his call, Maria leaned close to me and whispered “They couldn’t find shit because they can’t find their asses without using both hands and a road map.”
I turned my startled laugh into a fake cough and grabbed my napkin to quickly smother it as Tom gave me a dirty look. “Bad girl,” I said under my breath, once Tom turned back to his phone call.
“Ok, it’s all set now. Jimmy will be dropping them off at your office in about an hour. He’s gonna grab the tapes from everywhere that’s been hit so far.”
“We’ll start going through them tonight, then.”
“Excellent,” he said, beckoning our waitress over. “Kim, lunch is on the house for these two today.”
“That’s not necessary,” I said. “You don’t have to bribe or reward me when it comes to my job.”
“You’ve made that clear in the past; however, it seems your lunch has gone cold while I’ve been pissing in your ear, so we’ll call it no-charge today. Feel free to come back tomorrow and pay full price for lunch if you want.”
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Maria whispered, once we were alone again.
“I’m thinking that something strange is afoot, and when it comes to strange there’s only one place we need to look.”
“I was thinking the same thing. Did you want to look at the surveillance tapes first, or should we just go pay Mark and Linda a visit?”
***
“Their house looks pretty good, all things considered,” I said as we pulled into the driveway.
“Yeah, it took quite a while to get the rebuilding started, but it sure didn’t take long once they got going.”
“The yard still looks like the south end of a north bound horse, but I can see they’re working on it,” I said, pointing to where Mark was cutting up a tree with a chainsaw.
“Look who’s helping him. It’s that crazy Canuck.”
“I didn’t know he was back in town. Heck, I didn’t think they would even let him back in the country after the way he pissed off Major Hatter… I wonder if he has anything to do with the weird pilfering.”
“I doubt it,” Maria said with a chuckle. “Tom did say that no beer was taken during the robberies.”
“Point taken,” I said, getting a chuckle out of it myself. “Still, he’s one of those guys who’s always poking his nose into everything, so it’s possible he might know something that can help us.”
“He likes to come across as kind of goofy, but most of it is an act. I spent some time with him last summer and know for a fact he’s one sharp customer.”
“I’m not sure I trust him, but I hear he’s a millionaire now so I don’t think he’d risk jail time for petty theft. Let’s see if they can help,” I said, stepping out of the car and leading the way toward them.
“Howdy, sheriff, Maria,” Mark called out with a wave.
“How’s it going, eh?” Carl added.
“Better for me than some others,” he replied. “I need to ask y’all for a little help with a situation I have going on in town.”
“What kind of situation?” Mark asked, shutting off his chainsaw and sitting on the recently cut stump.
“There’s been a string of petty thefts in town lately, and it hasn’t been your run of the mill type B&E’s. The people doing it are seemingly violating the laws of physics during the thefts, and are either grandmaster burglars, or they have some sort of unexplained abilities.”
Looking startled, Mark quickly replied. “You’re looking i
n the wrong place, sheriff. None of us has any reason to commit a petty crime, and if we did have the inclination to do some thievery, I can guarantee you it wouldn’t be small time stuff.”
“I’m not accusing you,” I said with a chuckle. I picked a good size log from what he had cut and made a seat for myself before continuing. “To cut to the chase, I think that these thefts are not committed by you, but by someone like you.”
“I see,” he said.
“In other words, what I’m looking to find out is who else has those weird powers?”
“Nobody that I know of,” he admitted. “You know about Sara, but she’s no longer around. It’s possible someone else managed to acquire the power, but I can guarantee you none of us know who it could be.”
“I figured as much, but I had to ask. I also figure that y’all owe me a little favor for keeping silent on the subject, and might be inclined to help me out with my problem since this is your area of expertise.”
“Now it becomes clear. You want us to do your dirty work for you.”
“Only in this instance,” I said, raising a hand to forestall more objections. “It seems clear that this isn’t your run of the mill thief, and to be honest, the thefts aren’t that big. It’s the ‘weird’ aspect that places it in your backyard.”
“Ok, I see where you’re coming from, but what makes you so sure it’s someone like us?”
“I’ll show you the highlight reel later, but for now you just need to trust me. Some weird shit is afoot and I need your help.”
“Ok, ok… we do owe you one, so once Linda gets home we can all sit down and discuss things. I’m not sure if we can solve your problem for you, but we’ll do all we can. I must warn you that we’ve got our own time sensitive issues to deal with, and that’ll take priority for us no matter what kind of pressure you put on us.”
I was suddenly burning with curiosity and could see Maria about to go into full bore interrogation mode herself. “Is this something that concerns me or the community at large?” I asked, before Maria could get her claws into it.
