by Tia Lewis
I grinned as I thought about Hannah and how she had slept in my bed the other night. It had been the best fucking sleep for both of us. The scene in the shower the next morning had been hot as well. "Yeah, that's her."
"Wow," Gina said, a peculiar expression on her face. "I don't think you ever looked like that about me. She's a very lucky girl to have you like that."
I knew I hadn't. While Gina had been a major part of my life, Hannah was worming her way into my heart, taking root there. I didn't want her to let go. "I'm the lucky one."
"Well, at least I know what my chances are," Gina replied with a shrug as she reached on the side of the bench and brought out a bottle, two shot glasses joining it. It was my favorite whiskey, the one that had been my friend for quite a while until I had gotten smart and sobered up. Immediately I held up my hand as she cracked open the bottle. "No thanks."
"Aw come on," she said as she poured to glasses full. "It's just a shot, for old times' sake. One shot isn't going to send you spiraling backward."
I stared at the small glass, my knee throbbing something painful. It would be easy to take the shot and numb this pain, but I would be starting all over again, falling off the wagon. I wasn't going to go there. Not with her, not ever. "Go on, but I'm good."
Gina laughed, her finger rubbing the rim of the glass. "You've really changed, haven't you, Tony? It's good that you have. I can't say that I am not surprised. After all, you ran to your own beat. I truly hope she's good to you, Tony. I hope she's everything I couldn't be."
"Aw, Gina," I said, hearing the hurt in her voice. "You and I, we were good together for a while. Don't think we weren't. I-I had some strong feelings for you back in the day."
She laughed, her voice harsh to my ears. "Back in the day. That's all we will ever be, isn't it?"
I nodded, my throat working. Gina was my past, but Hannah was my future. When I saw tears in her eyes, I sighed and picked up the glass. I could take one sip for old time's sake. She picked up her glass and clinked them together, leaning over to press her lips to mine before I knew what she was doing. Immediately I pushed her back, dragging the back of my hand over my lips in disgust. Gina reached for me, her fingers grabbing me by the shoulders and pressing a kiss on my neck. "I need you, Tony," she breathed, her fingers clawing at my skin. I finally got her away from me, standing abruptly and nearly falling the floor as my knee buckled under me. The glass clattered to the floor, the smell of whiskey filling the air as I stared at my ex. "What the hell, Gina?"
The front door clinked closed, and I looked over to see Hannah standing there, a bag from the deli around the corner in her hands. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt," she said tightly, dropping the bag on the counter before walking back out. The look on her face caused my heart to grow cold as the door shut hard behind her. Fuck. Of all the things that could happen. I gave Gina a dark look as I set off after Hannah. "Get the hell out," I said walking toward the door, my heart racing in my chest. Pushing the door open, I stepped outside, the cold air hitting the sweat on my body as I spied Hannah walking back to the bakery. Ignoring the pain in my knee, I hurried to catch her, placing my hand on her shoulder and turning her around. "Hannah, fuck, it wasn't what you thought."
Her eyes were glimmering with tears as she looked at me and I felt like she had just sucker punched me in the chest. No, I would have rather her do that than feel the pain in my chest right now. It wasn't just that I saw tears, I saw devastation in her eyes, and I had caused it. She shrugged off my touch, crossing her arms over her chest with no warmth in her expression. I didn't like her like this. "It wasn't? I believe it was pretty clear to me what was going on there."
"Not it wasn't," I ground out, pissed at myself for allowing Gina to get under my skin like that. I should have seen that coming a mile away. "I wasn't drinking dammit."
"You think that's why I am like this?" she countered, surprise filling her eyes. "I could care less if you were drinking or not Anthony. You're old enough to have a drink when you want." She gave out a harsh laugh, and I winced, knowing I had screwed this up badly. "You were kissing a woman you told me didn't matter to you. Her fucking red lipstick is all over your lips, Anthony. Tell me that you weren't doing it, and by god, I will knock you flat on your ass where you stand."
I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, feeling slightly ill. She looked pissed, but what bothered me was the hurt in her eyes. I had hurt her. It was the last fucking thing I ever wanted to do. "Hannah, please," I tried. "Just let me explain."
She held up her hand, a broken laugh escaping her lips and I felt the entire world fall away. "Listen, this was fun, and all but clearly neither one of us was ready for this to be serious. Thanks for the fun times, Anthony. Good luck with your fight. Don't ever think about stepping foot in my bakery again, alright? Let's not make this out to be more than it really is."
I stood there in the cold as she turned away, watching as she walked into the bakery and disappeared from my sight. Dammit to hell. This was more than what she could imagine for me. It wasn't some fly by night relationship we were exploring, this was, hell, this was forever. Fury built up inside as I stalked back to the gym, knowing I had to give her some time. I couldn't lose her, not now. The match might be big, but Hannah was bigger in terms of my future. After her stay the other night, I had already contemplated asking her to move in. I wanted her around constantly, not just when we could get together. I wanted her to be there at night, to lay in my bed and talk about whatever we felt was an important topic that night. I wanted to see her use my kitchen and whip up her delicacies, a smile on her face as she did so. Hell, I wanted Hannah in my life, period. Now I had gone and fucked up.
Throwing open the door, I was glad to see Gina had taken my advice and gotten the hell out. Good. I don't know what I would have done if she was still here. She had just potentially ruined my future. The bottle was still there, the shot glasses still on the bench where she had left them and I picked one of them up, throwing it back without another thought. The liquid burned a path down to my gut, the fire like an old comforting friend. I had potentially lost the one woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with over something that I should have seen coming a mile away. Gina hated to fucking lose and by all accounts, she had just won the fucking lottery. "Dammit," I said, grabbing the bottle and taking a swig, wanting the pain in my chest to disappear. My knee was no longer the problem. It was my damn heart that had just been ripped out of my chest.
"Fuck, Tony. Open your eyes."
I winced as I opened my eyes to Benji's ugly mug, the anger on his face making it even uglier. My head was pounding like a son of a bitch, my neck hurting from the odd angle I was laying. It was then I realized I was laying on the couch in the office upstairs and not in my bed. "What the hell?"
"What the hell?" Benji asked, laughing harshly. "Are you really asking me that? What the hell are you doing here and what are you doing drinking again?"
I sat up, the room tilting slightly as I did so, the nausea rolling up in my throat before I forced it back down.
Benji crouched down to my level, concern on his face. "What the hell happened, Tony?"
I groaned and wiped a hand over my face. I might have drunk myself into passing out, but I wasn't going to forget the hurt in Hannah's eyes anytime soon. I had to think of a way to get her to listen to me and soon. "Gina came by."
"Damn," Benji swore, holding up the now empty bottle like a noose tightening around my neck. "Please tell me you didn't fuck her."
"What? No," I said darkly, eyeing the bottle. Had I really drank the entire thing? "Hannah came and caught Gina trying to kiss me. I tried to explain, but she wouldn't listen." My entire chest felt like someone had punched it repeatedly, hurting way worse than my knee did presently. "I fucking screwed up Benji. I've lost Hannah, and I don't know how to fix this. I love her."
Benji stood and shook his head, sympathy on his face. "Yeah you did. I told you to watch out for Gina, but she was always your weak s
pot."
I nodded, the nausea returning with the simple task. I should have known Gina wasn't playing the other night. She hated to be a loser and now because of her, I had lost Hannah and had a fucking hangover. Losing Hannah hurt a hell of a lot worse at the moment. I felt like a part of me was missing, worried that I might not ever see her smiling face again or hold her against me at night. I was worried that I had broken her heart and no amount of begging was going to help that heal. "What am I going to do?"
"First," Benji said, throwing the bottle in the trash. "You are going to go take a long, cold shower and change your clothes. Then you are going to buy the biggest damn bunch of flowers and take them over to the bakery, Tony. Flowers always do the trick."
I shook my head. "You didn't see the look in her eyes, Benji. I think her ex cheated on her. Flowers isn't going to fix this."
"Then I suggest you find something that will," he stated, walking to the door. "We all like Hannah, and when word gets out, Jose won't be the only one you have to worry about. The other guys are going to kick your ass and then you are going to have to stand by and watch us all try to win her over. Hannah is one in a million my friend and you better get her back, or someone else will take your spot."
I watched him leave, thinking I needed someone to do that now. I had really screwed up on this one. I couldn't lose Hannah.
Chapter Twenty
Hannah
"See? Wasn't it nice to celebrate after all that hard work?"
I stared at my drink, not feeling particularly like celebrating at all. Sure we had completed the job and even earned a bonus for all of our hard work, but even the thought of our success bringing on more lucrative orders couldn't raise my spirits. I felt like I had lost my best friend. It had been days since I had seen Anthony, since I had caught him kissing his ex and nearly drinking, though I couldn't smell it on him when he had tried to explain himself. I was hurt, all of those feelings of finding out that James had cheated on me coming back full force, reminding me how I couldn't trust any man. Regardless of who initiated it, the trust had been broken, and I didn't know if I wanted to go down that path again. But the ache in my chest hadn't lessened since that night, and I could clearly confirm that I had been in love with Anthony. The thought was sobering. "Yeah, it's great."
Lillian laughed. "Okay that was so convincing I nearly fell out of my chair."
I looked up at her, giving her a real smile. "I'm sorry. I am horrible company aren't I?"
She held up her fingers. "Just a little bit, but I can't do anything about a broken heart, but tell you to drink more. At least it will numb the pain."
It would but only for a little while. Tomorrow I would wake up and the pain would be there. I wasn't just going to brush Anthony off and move on. This one was going to take some time to get over.
"Hey, Hannah. Lillian."
We both looked up to see Benji standing at our table, a fresh bruise around his eye. "What happened?" I asked, pointing to his eye.
He blushed, looking unbelievably cute in the process. "Oh, I got clocked during a round. It happens. Can I sit for a moment?"
"Um, sure," I said, gesturing to the empty chair. "Have a seat."
"I'm going to get some more drinks," Lillian announced, giving Benji a wink. "What can I get you, handsome?"
"A beer," he said. "Thanks."
She nodded toward me and walked through the crowd, leaving me alone with him. I cleared my throat, leaning forward. "So, what does Anthony want me to know?"
Benji chuckled. "Darling if Anthony even knew I was here, he would kill me. He didn't send me; I promise you though we all want to send him somewhere very dark and hot at the moment."
I looked at him, a flush creeping up on my cheeks. "I'm sorry. I know you are close and just assumed he would send reinforcements." Actually, I was a little hurt that he hadn't tried to contact me at all. Had I read him all wrong? Did he not care?
"Don't be," he grinned. "I like you Hannah, and if I knew there was even one iota of getting you to like me as much as you like Tony, I would take a chance."
"Um, thanks," I said, embarrassed now. "Why are you here?"
He crossed his arms over his chest, a dark expression coming over his face. "I wanted to tell you a story about Tony, if you're up to it."
Just thinking about him made my chest hurt and I hoped that Lillian came back with those drinks soon. Maybe I would drink him away tonight. "Sure, fire away."
"It's about his injury," Benji said softly. "I was there the night he was hurt. I've never seen such a broken man before in my life, but when they took him back to the locker room, I could see the desperation in his eyes. He knew his career was all but over. Do you know Gina never came back there, not once? He asked about her on the way to the hospital, but I think he knew."
I felt the tears spring to my eyes as I thought how alone and scared he must have been without someone there to comfort him. "What happened?"
"It was a lucky kick," Benji supplied tiredly. "Could happen to any of us. Tony was at the top of his career, one more fight and he would be fighting for the undisputed championship. The kid he was fighting wasn't even in his league, but Tony wanted to give him a shot, saying everyone had to start somewhere. Larry even tried to talk him out of it, but he was dead set on giving this kid a chance."
I couldn't help but smile, thinking how different Anthony must have been back then. The man I had fallen in love withheld a touch of bitterness in him, presumably for his short career.
"He was a mess after surgery," Benji continued, rubbing the back of his neck. "Alcohol was his only vice, unfortunately. He worked hard to get out of that hole."
"Why are you telling me this?" I asked softly, trying to stave my heart against the tenderness I was feeling for Anthony.
Benji leaned in, his eyes searching mine. "Because I believe he loves you, Hannah."
My breath caught in my throat. Anthony loved me? No, that wasn't possible.
"What the fuck is going on here?"
Startled, I looked up to see the man in question breathing over us, his face red with anger. Despite my anger toward him, he was devastatingly handsome, his hair still wet from the gym shower. He had lost a little weight since I had seen him last, the shadows under his eyes telling me he wasn't sleeping. He needed his sleep for his fight. "Tony," Benji started, an easy smile on his face. "I was just talking to Hannah here."
"Were you fucking hitting on her?"
"What?" Benji asked, standing. "Nah, man you got it all wrong."
I watched as Anthony charged Benji with a growl, pushing him against the wall hard. A scream went up in the small bar, and I realized it was from me, jumping off of the stool as Benji hit Anthony hard in the jaw, sending him stumbling back. "Stop it!" I shouted at them both as Anthony shook off the punch and hit Benji in the stomach with his shoulder. Someone pushed past me, and I stepped back as a few guys tore them apart, Benji's face red with anger as he pushed against the guy that was attempting to hold him back. "What is your problem man? I would never do something like that!"
Anthony shook off the guy that was attempting to hold him back, grabbing my arm. "Come on," he said angrily, attempting to pull me toward the door. "We are leaving."
I shook off his grip, my hands on my hips as I stared at him. There was a cut on his head, and his jaw was starting to bruise. I wanted to hit him again. "I'm not going anywhere with you."
His eyes flashed angrily. "We need to talk."
I stepped out of his reach. "You need to get a grip and get a clue. I am finished with you, Anthony."
He opened his mouth, but I stepped around him, pushing him hard and not looking back as the tears started to form in my eyes. How could I have ever seen something in him?
Lillian caught up with me around the corner, my body heaving with sobs as she gathered me into her arms, hugging me tight. "Aw, Hannah, I am so sorry."
"I can't do this," I sobbed, clutching her tightly. "I love him, but I can't deal with that."
"Shh, it's going to be okay," she said, rubbing my back lightly. I squeezed my eyes shut, willing it all to go away, that Benji had never walked in and asked for that damn cake to begin with. It had set off a chain of action that none of us could ever have anticipated.
Chapter Twenty-One
Anthony
"You're a fucking idiot."
I groaned and put my pillow over my head, blocking out the angry words that Benji was spouting and just wished I would die. I felt like it, my head pounding incessantly and my stomach rolling with every movement. "Go away."
"The hell I will," he said ripping the pillow away from me so I could see his angry face. "You're lucky I don't beat your ass right here and now."
I took one look at his face and couldn't help but chuckle in response. "What the hell happened to you?" His jaw was now two different colors, his nose swollen and his eyes black. "You look like you lost a fight."
He combed through his hair with his fingers as he collapsed in the chair next to my bed, his expression stormy. "You don't remember do you?"
I was immediately on high alert, spying the numerous empty bottles on my nightstand. Shit. What had I done?
"Don't worry, if you don't remember, someone put it on the internet this morning," Benji said, throwing me his phone. "Congratulations. You are all over the news this morning."
I hit play and winced as I realized I had done that to Benji, my heart stuttering in my chest as I realized Hannah had also been there, witnessing the entire thing. The look on her face made me sick to my stomach, and I barely found the trash can before the contents of my stomach came out.
Benji waited until I was finished before retrieving his phone, crossing his arms over his chest. "You know, they are talking about calling off the fight. Larry is so pissed at you, he can barely get his words out."
I sat up on the bed, wiping a hand over my face as I tried to think of how I could be so fucking stupid. Not only had I succeed in driving Hannah further away, but my match was now in jeopardy. "Why are you even here talking to me?"
