by Tia Lewis
He cleared his throat, rubbing his palms on his jeans. "How do you feel?"
"Well I won't be whipping up frosting anytime soon," I said, holding up my wrapped wrist. "But I feel pretty good considering. The doctor said I could leave in the morning."
"Good, good," he answered, looking everywhere but at me.
I knew I was a sight, the bruises more prominent than ever today, but a small piece of me wanted to see his eyes, see those stormy depths. "How's training going?" I asked, picking at the covers. "The fight is soon right?"
He finally turned his gaze to mine, and I was taken aback by the wealth of emotions that were in his depths. "Hannah, I am so fucking sorry about this," he said. "I should have protected you more."
I gave a little laugh. "You and Lillian are both attempting to make this your fault. It's not. I dated James, I shrugged off his actions. It was my fault, but I promise you, I won't allow it to happen again." I had learned my lesson the hard way.
He reached over and stroked my cheek with the back of his finger. "Still. I don't like seeing you like this."
I reached up with my good hand and took his hand in mine, rubbing my thumb over the back of his scarred knuckles, hardened from his years of fighting. "I know you didn't do anything with your ex, Anthony."
He slid his hand from mine and stood abruptly, a stony expression on his face. "I, that was all my fault, Hannah. I should have never allowed her to get fucking close to me and I was a dumbass for falling off the wagon. I'm not that decent guy you paint me to be. I am a fighter with flaws that are too many to name, and you could do a hell of a lot better than me."
My mouth dropped open as he walked out of the room, wondering what the heck had just happened. I was in the midst of apologizing to him, yet he blew me off like he had already made up his mind about our relationship. Had he just broken up with me? "Well," I muttered, laying back on the pillow, my emotions barely in check. He wasn't going to get rid of me that easily. I loved him and would be damned if I didn't at least get the chance to tell him.
A Week Later…
"Are you really just going to stare at those passes?"
I looked up and gave Lillian a tired smile, throwing the passes on the desk. "I was kind of hoping they would catch fire with my special superpower."
She laughed and put the cookies in the oven, setting the timer so they wouldn't burn. It had been a week since I had been released from the hospital, everything cleared up except my wrist, which was in a cast and would be out of commission for a month at least. I could do some things with my other hand, but I left most of the baking to Lillian. She didn't know it, but I was going to ask her to go into a partnership with me and become a co-owner as soon as I could get the paperwork done. She had more than proved to be a good friend, and I wanted to reward her. "So what do you think I should do?"
Lillian leaned against the wall and crossed her arms over her chest. "Well, I know you love him, and he would want you there tonight, broken wrist and all."
I sighed. Tonight was the big match, the match that would define Anthony's comeback. I hadn't seen nor heard from him since the day he had walked out of my hospital room, pretty much telling me he wasn't good enough to be with me, and I had been too chicken to approach him at the gym, wanting to wait until my bruises had all but disappeared and I was feeling more like myself. Actually, it was all a lie that I fed myself for the last week. I was kind of hoping he would come to his senses and walk through that bakery door, professing his love like some romantic comedy with a happy ending.
But the only fighter that had come through that door was Benji, carrying the two passes on lanyards earlier today. "Tony would want you to have these," he had said, handing them to me. "His pride won't carry his ass over here to give them to you himself, and I apologize for that. He's being stubborn, thinking he's not good enough. Trust me, he is."
"I know," I had said, taking the passes. Anthony was more than good enough for me. I loved him, flaws and all and if I wanted a future with him, I was going to have to tell him. He wasn't coming like some knight in shining armor.
"I'm scared Lil," I finally said, grabbing the passes once more. "What if he doesn't want to be with me?" Could I stand the rejection? What if he won this match tonight and wanted to continue his fighting career? Could I stand by and watch him do that?
"Hey that's part of life," Lillian said, a soft smile on his face. "It's time to put the fears aside Hannah and move on. Anthony loves you, even if he is too stubborn to tell you. Are you willing to let him go?"
"No," I said, pushing off the chair, the passes in my good hand. "I need for you to drive me there."
Lillian grabbed her keys. "One step ahead of you. Come on, let's go get your boy."
The drive to the convention center didn't take long, Lillian letting me out at the door so I could get in before the match started. The place was packed, the hype of the match clearly everything Anthony would have hoped for it to be. I slid the pass over my head as I walked through the line, finding the way to the locker room with relative ease. The rooms were clearly marked, and I finally found Anthony's, reaching to open the door when it swung open, and an older man stepped out, his eyes widening when he saw me, shutting the door hard. "What are you doing here? You shouldn't be back here right now."
"I need to see Anthony," I started. "I'm Hannah."
The older man crossed his arms over his chest and eyed me, clear distrust on his face. "I know who you are. Hell, he can't stop talking about you when he's not training."
My heart warmed at the thought. "Then you have to let me see him." I needed to tell him how I felt in case something bad happened in that cage. I wanted him to know that I loved him going into his match and would support him no matter what happened tonight.
He shook his head. "See, you are part of the problem. The damn boy can't think straight these days. I see it in his moves. He's going to get his ass kicked tonight, and the last thing I need is you clouding his mind any more than you already have."
I crossed my own arms over my chest, giving him a look. "Are you serious? He's not going to get his ass kicked tonight. He knows what he is doing, and I have every faith in him that he's going to come out a winner."
"Damn women," he muttered, throwing up his hands. "Why should I let you in there, huh? Are you gonna yell at him for leaving you?"
"No," I swallowed. "I am going to tell him that I love him very much and I am so proud of him no matter the outcome tonight, which is what you should be telling him as well. It takes a lot of guts to do what he is doing."
His eyes widened and he lost some of his anger in his face. "You love Tony?"
"Very much," I replied, giving him a confident smile. "Can I see him now, please?"
He looked at me carefully, a slight grin sliding over his lips as he stuck out his hand. "Well now, I guess you can. Larry's the name. I love that boy like he was my own, so don't break his heart and we will get along just fine."
"Hannah," I repeated, shaking his hand. "And you don't have to worry about that."
He nodded and pushed the door open. "You got five minutes. Make it count."
"Thank you," I said, entering the locker room. Anthony's back was to me, headphones on his ears as he sat on the wooden bench, the tension in his shoulders evident. I imagined he felt like the world was on his shoulders and my heart went out to him, wanting to comfort him. If he lost tonight, I didn't know what he was going to do. It was clear he enjoyed fighting, but could he be happy with just me? Could I fill that void for him?
Careful not to disturb him, I walked around the bench and knelt down in front of him, laying my hand on his knee. His eyes opened and surprise flared in their depths, removing his headphones with his glove-covered hand. "Hannah."
Chapter Twenty-Four
Anthony
She was here. Hannah was kneeling in front of me and I still couldn't believe it. Damn she was beautiful, her eyes searching mine, the bruises nearly gone from her delicate skin, thoug
h the shadows under her eyes still had me concerned. "What are you doing here?" I asked, my voice coming out harsh.
She held up her VIP pass, one that I had given Benji in a fit of desperation, telling him to give it to her before I changed my mind. Part of me was glad that she had come, my nerves on edge about the fight I was about to have that would define my future career. But part of me didn't want her here in case something went wrong, in case I couldn't win. I didn't want her to be disappointed in me. "I figured I would put this thing to good use," she was saying, dropping the pass. "How are you holding up?"
I rolled my shoulders, my knee jumping under her touch. How did I feel? Slightly ill and like I had taken a shot of adrenaline, my stomach in knots. "Like shit."
"I'm sorry," she said, her fingers caressing my knee. Hell. One simple touch and I had a raging boner in the tightest damn shorts known to man. Not exactly the best time to have a hard on. "What can I do to help?"
I stood, mainly because I had to adjust myself and will down the hard-on at the same time, shaking out my arms to keep them loose. I was torn between telling her to leave and begging her to stay, not sure which one was good for the moment. The last week without her had been hell on earth, knowing she was next door at the bakery but my pride unwilling to budge, telling myself over and over again I was not good enough to have her in my life. I hadn't even been able to protect her, falling back on my old vices when she needed me the most. What if something worse had happened, like she had wound up dead? What if I had been drunk off my ass that night and unable to be there for her at the hospital? I couldn't deal with the fact of Hannah getting hurt again. I had ghosts that would not let me go and I was a danger to her. "Why are you here?" I asked softly, walking around the locker room. "Why did you come tonight, Hannah?" I couldn't look at her, not when I wanted to wrap her up in my arms and never let go.
"To tell you, to say, I love you, Anthony."
Her words were like a shot to the gut. Had I heard her right? She loved me? She should hate me, never want to see me again. I had embarrassed her, given her multiple reasons to write me off in the last month we had been together. My good times had been overshadowed by the bad ones, and I wasn't proud of the things I had done as of late. "You can't love me," I forced out, my chest aching with each word.
She laughed, and I felt her hand on my shoulder, forcing me to turn around to face her. "So now you are going to tell me how I should feel about you? First, you tell me I don't deserve you, which, by the way, should be my call and not yours, then you tell me I can't love you? I beg to differ."
I searched her eyes, seeing a bit of anger but mostly tenderness in them and felt my resolve start to weaken. "I'm not good for you."
She reached up and cupped my cheek with her hand, the softness of her palm on my skin sending my nerves scattering. "Anthony, whatever would make you believe that? So you have some skeletons in your closet. We all do. They only make me love you more."
I closed my eyes, thinking of all things she could tell me tonight, I hadn't anticipated this. Hannah loved me. This had to be a fucking dream. My heart racing in my chest, I opened my eyes to the woman who had turned my life upside down and was giving me her heart, if I chose to take it. "Can I ask you one question?"
She looked startled. "Um, sure."
I sucked in a breath. "If I lose tonight. If I get my ass kicked or walk out of there with some horrendous injury, will you still feel the same?" I needed to know. I had done this once before and got burned. I couldn't take another.
She smiled, a tender smile that took my breath away. "Of course. This fighting thing, it's not what I love about you, Anthony. I love the man that is standing before me, who has taught me that there is hope for the future. I love you."
I reached for her and pulled her against me, holding her tightly in my arms as a wealth of emotion built up inside. "I don't deserve you."
"No, you don't," she laughed, hugging me back. "But I don't deserve you either so we are even."
I laughed and pressed a kiss into her hair, feeling some of the worry and stress ease in my chest. "I love you, too."
She pulled back, tears in her eyes. "W-what?"
I gave her a tender smile, wiping the escaping tear away with my thumb. "Did you really think I was going to let you be the only one to say it?"
"I just, I didn't know," she answered.
"I fucking love you," I said again, my voice full of emotion. "There's not a minute that goes by that I don't think about you, Hannah. I can't even begin to tell you how much you mean to me."
She gave me a watery smile, and I kissed her forehead, knowing that if I kissed her lips, I would be late to the match. With great reluctance, I released her, giving her hand a squeeze. "We will finish this later."
"Yes," she breathed. "After you kick this guy's ass. I am proud of you Anthony, no matter what happens."
I gave her a wink as Larry came through the door. "It's time."
The entrance music was blaring on the speakers, the crowd at a fevered pitch as I entered, but I barely heard it. My mind was swirling with every move I had to remember about Jose, remember to protect my knee and not let him take me down. But that wasn't all I was thinking about. I was already planning the after party, pity or celebration, with Hannah, the woman who for some reason had chosen to love me. Me. It was still fucking unbelievable.
Larry tapped me on the shoulder, and I began to walk toward the cage, punching and showing off for the crowd, which was what was expected of me to do. The cage loomed before me, and for a moment, it stole my breath away, the feeling of uncertainty never really going away no matter how many times I had made this same trek. The difference this time was that I found myself no longer caring about what the outcome was going to be tonight. Up until this moment I had wanted to win, needed to win to prove a point. But now, I only had to prove myself to the woman that was sitting in the front row, her heart in her eyes.
She gave me a tiny nod as I passed her and for a moment I contemplated kissing the hell out of her in front of everyone, deciding at the last moment not to do so. She was all I wanted, all I needed. The guys were right. We had moved on from this era of our lives, enjoying the limelight, but it was time to turn it over to the younger generation, help build their skills to become the best damn fighters they could be. My injury hadn't defined me and this match wouldn't either.
But I still had to fight. This revelation wasn't going to stop me from at least completing this match tonight. I was going to give it my all, and once the lights were down and the people all gone home for the night, I was going to curl up in my bed with Hannah and plan our future together.
"Ladies and Gentlemen!" the announcer said as I stepped into the cage. "Tonight's main event features two of the best fighters in the lightweight division! In this corner, wearing blue shorts and carrying a record of eight knockouts and two losses, Jose Fernado!"
I looked at Jose through hooded eyes, seeing that he was in pretty decent shape tonight. The kid was going places.
"And in this corner, with a lifetime record twenty submissions, a former lightweight champion and number one contender in the world, and the longest running record of consecutive wins in one season, wearing the red trunks, Anthony, Rampage, Jones!"
I threw a few punches for good measure, feeling the worry and excitement come to a head as I realized that all of the hard training was now going to come to fruition. I was going to see if I could still hang with the best in the world.
I walked to the center of the cage and listened to the referee as he went over the rules, touching gloves with Jose before walking back to my corner, where Larry and Benji were on the platform. "You can do this Rampage," Larry said as he inserted my mouthpiece for me. "Remember his stance. That's his weakness. If you can capitalize on it, you are going to kick his ass tonight."
"Keep yourself low, but not too low," Benji added, rubbing my shoulders. "And no matter what, there's a big ass party back at the gym when you're done here, so don't
take too long."
I gave him a wink and turned around, slamming my gloves together. I was ready for this. I had trained for this.
The bell rang, and I started dancing around, tapping gloves with Jose as we felt each other out. He was fast, and I knew that if he got around my legs and took me down, I was going to struggle. His first kick connected with my upper thigh, but I was able to brace for it and catch him upside the head with my left hook, scooting away before he could do any more damage. He advanced and went for a right hook, my leg coming up to catch the hole he had left by throwing the punch, my calf colliding with the side of his face. I felt the impact vibrate all the way up my leg, my knee quivering in response as I landed on it. The bell sounded, and I stepped back, my body jacked at what I had accomplished in just five minutes. Jose was bleeding from his cheek where I had landed my first punch, and I only felt the one kick to my thigh. All in all, it was a good first round.
"Good job, good job," Larry said, squirting water into my mouth so I could rinse it out. "You did well."
I didn't say anything, just spitting out the water and waiting for them to call the next round. I felt fucking fantastic.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Hannah
After round one, I thought that Anthony was going to breeze through this match without a scratch on him. Then round two happened. I held my breath and squeezed the heck out of Lillian's hand as he took a punch to the face, splitting open his cheek before the other guy got a lucky shot with his leg, nearly knocking Anthony off of his feet. When the bell finally sounded signaling the end of round two, Anthony was a bloody mess, and I was ready to throw in the towel.
"I can't take this," I groaned, falling back into my seat. Lillian extricated her hand from mine and joined me in her seat. "Well you know the longest fight lasted ninety minutes."
