I dropped my hand and carried on speaking.
“But I hope it is not gauche, or offensive, for me to speak of it, fair Farah. I only do so to say I understand it, of a sort, for I do know my father would think the same, as would my king. This being that anything my father did was some extension of me, when it is not. He is his own being with his own thoughts and actions. But they do not reflect who I am and shouldn’t for they are not my own.”
She studied me at great length.
Then her beautiful face grew soft.
“True speaks highly of you. In the times you and I have shared together, I knew he spoke as he is. True. But it seems he was very true.” She bent and pressed her cheek tightly to mine. “Goodnight, sorellina.”
I felt warm in my insides for sorellina meant little sister and she had not yet called me that.
I liked it better than piccolina (little one), though that was also nice.
And obviously I liked it scads better than little monkey.
She pulled away.
“And all will be well with Elpis,” she assured. “She is a good woman who is kind of heart and very generous. But she loves her son and is protective of him. More, she grieves her husband, a man she adored, and my mother and I being here I fear has opened a wound that perhaps she has learned to live with, but we remind her that it will never truly heal. It will take time, but you will win her, I’m sure.”
I did not share her optimism.
Though now I was also concerned that Elpis would never allow these two ladies back into her heart, somewhere they wished dearly to be, and they were kind souls, so it would prove true that Elpis was generous if they could all become again what they once were.
Or a version of it.
I still smiled.
She smiled back and moved away.
“Silence, my dear, are you going up with me?” Mother called as I tore my gaze from Farah linking her arms with her mother and moving them both to the wide staircase.
“I’ll be up in just a moment,” I said to my mother.
Her brows knitted. “What will you do down here?”
“I haven’t really had a full wander of the palace yet. I’m restless. Tomorrow is a busy day. I think I’ll take this opportunity to have a look at the home that will soon be mine and perhaps a wander will fatigue me.”
That was when my mother’s face softened, she approached and touched her lips to my cheekbone.
“That will be fine, daughter,” she whispered against my skin and then pulled away and looked into my eyes. “Enjoy your wander, but don’t make it long. Tomorrow is busy, my dearest, and you need your sleep. I’ll see you at breakfast.”
I nodded.
She took hold of my upper arm and gave it an affectionate squeeze before she drifted away.
I watched until I could see her no more on the wide staircase carpeted in patterned rugs with fringe at the sides, and I kept my gaze there long after she’d disappeared.
After that, I wandered.
But when I did, I took nothing in.
My mind was too full.
I was trying not to think of my future husband wearing only those pants.
I could not, however, keep my thoughts from what it was seeming my life might be.
My husband had many men, and he spent much time speaking to them or behind closed doors with them.
Or behind them with King Gallienus. Or Prince Cassius. Or King Gallienus and Prince Cassius. Or King Wilmer and True. And now King Aramus.
Etcetera.
I had been told of all this. Or I had been told he was with his mother, or out in his city, doing king things that were not explained, or with his staff (and mother), overseeing the events and ceremonies that were to come.
Not with me.
True’s attention was pulled by King Mars, King Wilmer, my father, Cassius, True’s lieutenants that made up part our guard (etcetera).
But I saw him on occasion having a quiet moment with Farah, getting to know her, and I was heartened that they seemed to be growing an affinity.
I feared his heart was still with Elena, but Farah was lovely, and even if Elena was fierce of spirit and beautiful to behold, I did not doubt Farah would soon earn True’s regard.
The same did not seem to be something my intended wished to earn from me.
These were my thoughts as I stared through the flawless scrollwork of the screen over a window in one of the less formal rooms to the east side of the palace.
What was beyond that screen were the formal palace gardens with their tiled paths, lush greenery, mosaic pools and flowing fountains.
In the time I’d been there, I had wandered them a bit.
And I decided, tomorrow, while everyone was preparing for the parade and the reception after, I’d wander them more.
Perhaps take a book. I hadn’t had any time to read since we left Wodell.
I sighed, deciding my life would not be much different here than it was at Bower Manor, though my accommodation more opulent and with many more people about. Then, of course, there would be the fascinating city to discover. And the lovely palace gardens.
But in the end, without my mother there after she left, and Farah and Sofia being with True, I knew it would be far more lonely.
I whirled on this unhappy thought, made to stride, and slammed into a wall, nose first.
I drew back, my hand going to my nose as a blossom of pain bloomed behind my eyes, and with it surprise since no wall had been there before.
Quickly, the pain dissipated.
And when it did, I felt a hand flat on the small of my back, something hard pressed to my thighs and belly, and my eyes, that were right then encountering nothing but a large span of smooth brown skin, went up.
To see the black eyes of my intended scowling down at me angrily.
“First,” he growled and his other hand (the one not at my back holding me to him) came to my wrist, his fingers winding around to pull it away. “We see to that nose.”
And this he did.
He let my wrist go only to grasp my chin with the side of a finger under it and his thumb to the point whereupon he lifted my head, bent his deep, and studied that protuberance on my face.
Well, one could say this was humiliating.
And with that skin I saw, it was clear he was again wearing only those pants.
And I didn’t know what to think about that, except it didn’t bear contemplating.
Therefore, I didn’t contemplate it.
He kept his fingers at my chin when he straightened and carried on scowling down at me.
“You are fine,” he declared.
“Erm,” I mumbled.
“You’re also avoiding me,” he declared irritably.
But…
I was not.
“Well, um…” I murmured.
“I do not like this.”
He didn’t like it?
I didn’t see him striding our way as we stood in the vestibule, gathering together prior to leaving for dinner, doing thus to share he’d be joining us in the city that eve.
“Your Grace, I’m not exactly…I mean, you’ve been rather—”
“I’m not your Grace,” he interrupted me. “I will be your husband. You will feel me between your legs. In your mouth. You will sleep under me.”
I felt my eyes get wide.
In my…
Mouth?
My reaction made his eyes get angrier.
“You do not think to give this to me?” he asked.
“Well…I…in my…” I stammered and blurted, “What’s my mouth have to do with anything?”
He blinked very slowly.
Then he relaxed, much more slowly, and took his fingers from my chin to drop that hand so he could wrap them around the side of my waist.
But as he did this, something fired in his eyes that did something discomfiting to my insides (specifically, regions south).
“My name is Mars,” he stated in a much less irate tone.
“I know.”
“You call me Mars,” he ordered.
“All right,” I said hesitantly.
“You also will not ever again run from me.”
Oh balls.
I didn’t hide that I was rushing.
“Well, you were then like you are now. Where you’re not, really…erm, dressed,” I explained.
“I know the Dellish, for whatever fool reason, men and women, feel it necessary to cover every inch of skin. The Firenz do not. And thus, this is the attire I wear at home when I’m at my ease.”
This could be that in much of Wodell, for many months of the year, it got quite cold, and in Firenze, this did not happen.
I did not remind the dark king of that.
“All right,” I said again.
“You will need to get used to it,” he declared.
I did not think that likely.
“All right,” I repeated.
“My land is not your land. You will need to get used to that as well,” he went on being overbearing.
“I know this,” I shared.
“And do it quickly,” he decreed.
I pressed my lips together so I didn’t say anything foolish.
“Tomorrow night, you ride at my side, and during the parade, you sit at it so my people can gaze on their future queen.”
One moment…
Was he…
Mad?
I felt the length of my frame tightening.
“I cannot do this,” I breathed.
His heavy brows shot together. “Why?”
“I…but…there will be thousands of people there.”
“I know this.”
“And you’ll be the center of attention. Even, probably, for many when the Nadirii are drilling.”
“I know this too. It is the way. I am their king.”
“And if I’m to sit beside you as your future queen,” I carried on, “they’ll be looking at me.”
“I know this as well.”
“But, I don’t…” I shook my head, making an effort to pull myself together. “I’m not like that, my king, erm, Mars,” I corrected when he looked to be getting irate again. “I dislike attention.”
“In but a few days, you’re to be made my queen.”
“I know,” I said softly.
“You cannot not have attention.”
Oh by the gods, I hadn’t thought of this.
And thinking on it now, I thought it was dire!
“You will need to get used to this too, little monkey,” he proclaimed.
My attention was instantly pulled from my newest plight, to his words.
“If it pleases you, my king,” I said in a snappish manner that was not a’tall like me, “do not call me ‘little monkey.’”
“It does not please me,” he retorted instantly. “For you are my little monkey.”
“I am not,” I kept snapping.
“You are,” he returned.
“Am not!”
Faith, my voice was rising.
He gave me a gentle shake and a less gentle squeeze, reminding me I was pressed to him (not to mention, he was a king so perhaps I shouldn’t raise my voice at him) and that odd feeling hit my belly (and parts south).
“You are, piccolina, for you are adorable, as a monkey is adorable. So adorable, anyone who sees it forgets just how very clever it is.”
My eyes got wide again as I stared up at him.
“You think I’m clever?” I whispered.
“You don’t hold great affection for your father,” he stated.
I lifted my chin. “My father is a good man.”
He shook his head. “I admire your loyalty. It heartens me. But you do not truly believe this. You believe he is sly and grasping and is not a man who would thrust his body in front of an arrow to take that wound so his daughter would not. He would thrust his daughter in front of the arrow so he would not endure that wound.”
My eyes slid away.
“And you are right,” he declared.
I looked back to him and was again whispering when I said, “Please do not speak of my father that way.”
He dipped his face toward mine and my breath stuck in my throat.
My, but he was even more handsome that close.
And more daunting.
But what he said next was surprising.
And, it must be admitted, warming.
Not the first part.
The last.
“I will make him rich, my little monkey. Beyond his imaginings. And I will do this so he will leave his daughter to my protection and leave our daughters to my protection. For, Silence, make no mistake, I would thrust my body in front of an arrow to suffer that wound for my child.”
I stared into his eyes, unblinking.
But my heart was racing.
“And I will not have him interfering with you or using you for his own ends. I will make this clear to him. If he again comes to my realm to sit at my table, he will do it as your father and nothing else. Not a man who uses you as an instrument to further his own ends.”
I didn’t know how much time he’d spent with Father, I had not thought it was a lot.
But he sure had him pegged.
“My mother is lovely,” I said softly.
“She is a woman torn between two forces. And she veers the wrong way.”
I pressed my lips together again.
“Though, she will be welcome at my table at all times, piccolina,” he assured quietly.
That was nice.
I did not share I felt that.
I just nodded.
His gaze held mine before it fell to my lips and his mood shifted so abruptly, and strongly, that it felt the air in the entire room shifted with it.
“It is but mine to teach you how you will use that mouth,” he murmured like he was talking to himself, though his words (and the tone in which he stated them) made some things I didn’t understand happen inside me.
And those things made other things happen to me.
Primarily, my frame relaxing in his hold, into his body, doing this languorously.
And it didn’t seem I had the will to stop it.
“Mars,” I whispered.
His eyes lifted to mine.
“You ride at my side, Silence, and you sit at it tomorrow eve.”
It would appear I didn’t have any choice in that.
Therefore, I nodded again.
“And you do not run from me, my bride, not ever again.”
And no choice in that, either.
I nodded yet again.
Caught in the trance of his mood, I gave a small jump when his big hand swathed my jaw and I froze when the pad of his thumb swept my lower lip as his eyes watched.
All right.
That did something to my insides too.
They felt…
Melty.
“But mine,” he said softly, as if mesmerized by his own movement—or my lips. “Only mine.”
I then swayed when he let me go abruptly and stepped away.
“To your bed, Silence,” he ordered. “Tomorrow is an important day and I’ll not have you drooping during the Nadirii’s performance, for if tales are true of Queen Ophelia, it is sure to be something.”
And with that, he pivoted and prowled from the room, the panels of his chocolate-brown silk pants flapping against his long legs.
I stood where he left me, breathing deeply, and thinking I’d gone mad.
For it was dawning on me I didn’t mind being a little monkey.
Farah Magos
Landing, Third Floor, Catrame Palace, Fire City
FIRENZE
We sat in the window seat of the back, center window on the uppermost floor.
All around us was dark.
We gazed at the moonlit gardens.
We were both twisted to the windows.
His thigh was up in the seat, as was mine.
Our knees almost brushed.
But t
hey didn’t.
Though I wished they would.
In the past days, he only touched me when he was being gallant.
Although this was often, as he was gallant in all things, I found I wished for other touches too.
These, I did not get.
“Would you like me to have a word with Mars?” he asked.
I studied the features of True Axelsson’s handsome face, patterned silver in moonlight through scrollwork.
I had told him of Queen Elpis’s remoteness.
And he would do that.
Talk to Mars.
For me.
For my mother.
Because I had learned very quickly that he was that man and he wanted nothing to weigh on me.
As he would want nothing to weigh on anyone who had even a modicum of his affection.
Oh, would that this man could truly be mine.
Elena of the Nadirii must be quite something.
“After Silence marries Mars, we’re away to Wodell, True,” I replied. “Mama is coming with us and staying with us. It matters not if Queen Elpis accepts us again. She will not be coming, and we’ll be living on Dellish land, somewhere it is not likely she’ll travel.”
He turned to face me. “Her daughter-in-law will be Dellish.”
“Yes, and if Mars takes his bride to visit her home, Elpis will not ride with them.”
“Because of you?”
I reached out and briefly touched his knee before I said gently, “Because Firenze does not hold much interest in Wodell.”
“Of course,” he murmured, and I could see his lips quirking in the moonlight.
“I don’t want to offend you,” I told him earnestly.
He looked back out the window. “My father is of my grandfather. And my grandfather is of his. And so on, Farah. They have two things they are very good at doing. Selecting ill-chosen counsellors who advise them in all things and do it very poorly. And then they take this counsel and carry it out fully.”
He turned his attention again to me, reached out and took my hand, but it wasn’t briefly.
He held it.
He was good at that too.
“In other words, I’m not offended, sweets.”
He’d begun calling me that yesterday.
I had marked the first time he gave that to me.
I did it not only because it was dear, but because I hoped he thought it to be true of me.
The Beginning of Everything Page 13
