by Liz Schulte
“That’s wonderful. Who’s the friend?”
“Femi. She’s a—”
“Bounty hunter.” She was known for being wild and impetuous, but she was exceptional at what she did. It made perfect sense that Olivia would find her of all people. Trouble was attracted to Olivia like no one else. “I know her by reputation.”
Olivia refolded her arms in front of her chest.
“What?” I asked.
“Just what have you heard?”
“She is a good bounty hunter. She can be difficult and doesn’t like taking orders, but she gets the job done.”
“And you don’t have a problem with her being a Sekhmet?”
“Why would I?”
“She said most guardians don’t like her kind.”
I shrugged. I normally liked to avoid Abyss politics. “They are an honorable race with their own ideas and opinions. I do not have a problem with them.”
Olivia smiled. “Good.”
“Where did you ladies go yesterday?”
“Oh, too many places to keep track of,” Olivia said, her cheeks coloring. Her eyes flickered back to the street. “It’s starting to pick up down there.”
I looked through the pink light of the setting sun. She was right. Jinn were swarming the warehouse. It was looking more and more doubtful that anyone was coming tonight. No guardian would walk into a warehouse filled with jinn. But we needed to stay in case I was wrong.
“You don’t think he is coming do you?”
“No.”
“There’s a jinni night club not too far from here. I could go ask some questions.”
“No.”
“Quintus.”
I cut her off. “Did you not hear the part about jinn killing guardians? I'm not sending you in to die and if that pisses you off, then you will just have to be mad at me.”
“They won't recognize me. I can fully repress my nature.”
“We don't know that. We only think it. You can't go in on a theory.”
“I know it,” she said quietly.
“How could you possibly?”
“Femi and I went there last night. I didn't realize what it was until we were inside. A jinni danced with me and never knew what I was.”
I didn't know if I was angry or relieved. “You’ve been giving me trouble about keeping secrets from you, while you’ve been keeping them from me?”
Olivia's jaw clenched. “First off, this wasn’t a secret. It just happened and I’m telling you about it. Second, my secrets have nothing to do with you. Your secrets, however, are in regard to me.”
Well, she wasn't incorrect, but I was still irritated. She went to a jinn club. “Were you looking for Holden?”
She raised her chin. “No. Femi took me there.” She spoke her words carefully, as if weighing each of them.
“You could have left.”
“I could have, but I can't keep running away. I have to figure out a way to live with my past. It isn't your concern.”
“I am concerned for you.”
She shut her eyes and turned her face from me. “Don't think this is something more than what it is, Quintus. I said I'll give us a chance, but everything has to be taken slow. I need space.”
“And if he comes back?”
“We can't be together. I know that.”
“But do you want to be?” I didn't know why I kept asking questions that I didn't want to know the answers to, but they kept coming out of my mouth.
Olivia sighed and didn't respond. That was answer enough.
Twenty Six
Quintus kept me on that stupid roof top until well after midnight, before he finally gave up on anyone showing. We went back to our respective apartments, and I was relieved to be alone. The more I thought about dating Quintus, the more it seemed like a bad idea. He was nice, but we worked so closely together, it could only lead to trouble. Plus, no matter how much I wanted things to be different, they weren't. I didn't have possession of my heart. Even the shattered bits belonged to one man. I was brushing my teeth when I heard Holden say my name.
How did he always know when my defenses were down? I quickly shut him off and climbed into bed. My eyes were shut, and I prepared myself to drift into my horrible nightmare, when something else happened altogether. I felt Holden cover me like silk. He was thinking about our last night together. My heart swelled. I remembered his touch, his strength, and all of the beautiful reassurances he gave to me as I fell asleep in his arms. We were the only two people who mattered in the all of the world at that moment. We were one, soul mates.
I accepted his gift and gave my own in return, not letting my brain remind me that nothing came of any of those bitter sweet words. They were empty promises from a hollow man. I didn't know what his angle was, but I wanted what he gave me. It was better than smelling his shirt. I felt him all around me, saturating my senses. For just a moment or two, I could pretend everything wasn’t different—that we still had a future.
“I'm sorry,” he said. The sound of his voice brought tears to my eyes.
“Wait,” I nearly begged, but it was too late. He broke the connection. “Damn you, Holden.” I once again cried myself to sleep, though no dreams of my death haunted me.
Morning came too quickly. I was late meeting Quintus on the roof. He wore an annoyed, tired expression when I appeared, but didn’t say anything.
“Did you stay all night?” I asked, seeing he was still wearing the same clothes.
“I told you—we only have one shot at this.”
“Then why did you send me home? I would’ve stayed.”
“You looked exhausted. Still do.”
“Hmmm. I’m going to try to take that in a nice way.”
“You know what I mean.” His forehead creased and the corners of his mouth turned down.
My conscience finally got the better of me, and I let him off the hook. “Look, why don’t you go home, sleep for a couple hours, then get some coffee and come back. I can take this watch. It’s stupid for us to do this together when nothing’s happening.”
“I’m not leaving you,” he said as if that were end of that, but I wasn’t ready to back down.
“Quintus, don’t be dumb. No one knows we’re up here. If anyone finds me, I’ll transport back to my apartment. Honestly, what could happen to me here? They can’t even sneak up on me. I’ll be perfectly safe, and I don’t need you to help me note the one or two jinn I might see this morning. You know as well as I do that jinn hate sunlight.”
“Holden didn’t seem to have a problem with it.”
I sighed at the sound of his name. “Holden seems to be the exception to most things.”
Quintus looked at me levelly, his eyes narrowing. “Don’t believe that, Firefly, not for a moment. Holden is every bit as, if not more, dangerous than the rest of them.”
I held off all the defensive comments I wanted to make. Holden might be dangerous to Quintus, but after last night, I was certain he wasn’t dangerous to me. No matter how it had ended, the emotions he’d sent during the night were real, and he still held on to them. Everything between us wasn’t a lie, but I couldn’t let myself think about that. “That isn’t the point. The point is, yes, he went in the sun, but that isn’t their general practice and you know it. Now stop being a pain in the ass and get out of here, so I don’t feel like I have to hang out with you all night. I do have a life you know.”
“You have plans?” Quintus seemed amazed by this revelation.
“Femi and I are going out.”
Quintus started to say something a few times, but stopped himself each time. He sighed and rubbed his head. “You’re right. I need sleep. If anything happens, transport to my apartment rather than yours.”
“Fine.” I didn’t care. I just wanted him to leave. I wanted to think about last night and figure out what, if anything, changed the way I felt.
Quintus squeezed my shoulder and thankfully vanished into a ball of brilliance. I looked out over the quiet morning and the sleepi
ng warehouses. I wanted to talk to Holden. My brain nervously fidgeted and sputtered at the notion. My heart beat wildly in anticipation. I couldn’t talk to him until I knew what I wanted, how to handle things with him. I couldn’t—or rather, I wouldn’t—follow him anywhere. Not anymore. My life had changed, as I was sure his had. We couldn’t fit into each other’s lives anymore. Even if he really loved me then, did it matter now? It didn’t change any of the things he had done. Love or not, his actions spoke the loudest. Holden didn’t choose me. Talking to him would be pointless.
I looked back over the ledge, disappointed but resolved. Things had to remain as they were. I had a job to do that mostly entailed undoing the things he did. We were destined to be at odds. Our one chance had slipped through the cracks. I would keep our happy memories locked safely within me, knowing I could never add to them. I was grateful Holden reminded me that we had them. I even felt fairly confident that if I saw him, I could keep it together. I wouldn’t smother him in kisses or beat him to a pulp. I’d remain calm and indifferent.
The morning was slow and tedious, even worse than I predicted. No jinn showed up at all. I briefly considered going down to the warehouse and taking my own look around while no one was there, but I knew if anything went wrong Quintus would murder me. So I stuck to my post. However, sitting around and waiting wasn’t natural for me. I felt like we should be doing something. People were missing. They were hurt. Why were we lurking in the shadows waiting for something to happen? Perhaps Femi and I would have to make another excursion to Xavier tonight. If I want jinni intelligence, what better place was there to find it than among them? Of course Quintus couldn’t know. He would refuse and ruin everything. If he insisted on protecting me, then he was forcing me to keep my plans from him. I had to take care of myself eventually; now was as good a time to start as any.
I pulled out my phone and texted Femi.
-Xavier tonight?
-Prolly a bad idea
-Need to go there. Tell you more later.
-K but UR crazy. See u l8r
I was tucking my phone into my pocket when Quintus appeared, looking much more rested. I smiled. “Did you sleep well?”
“I did. How have things been here?”
“Boring. Absolutely no one has been by yet.”
He nodded, hunkering down next to me. “Sorry I was being difficult earlier. You were right. I needed rest.”
“No need to apologize. You’ve suffered through many of my fits of rage. We’re good.”
Quintus face creased with those dimples you could lose yourself in and brushed a piece of hair from my face. “But I want you to feel like you can talk to me, that I won’t judge you or hold anything you say against you.”
“Guardians aren’t any different than people. You can say you won’t do those things, but it’s our nature to—and that’s okay. I know you’re only trying to steer me towards what you think is best, but you have to understand I’m going to do what I think is best.”
I had only met one person in my life who listened without judgment and never once threw anything I told him back at me. I thought it was because he was unique, but in reality there was probably nothing I could ever tell him that would have been as bad as what he was hiding from me.
“Just so long as you understand that I do what I do because I want you to be safe and happy.”
“Absolutely.” I smiled back at him, and he leaned forwards as if to kiss me. I panicked and tried to move away, but my back was against the low brick wall. My ungraceful failed attempt at moving did not go unnoticed. Quintus chuckled softly and kissed my check, which was already starting to burn with embarrassment.
I started to try to explain, but he held up his hand to stop me. “You don’t have to say anything, Firefly. You're not ready yet. I understand.”
If I was being honest, I would tell him that in all likelihood I would never be ready to move on with him or anyone else, but I wasn't honest—with him or with myself. I wasn't giving up on moving on yet. I would find a way. If Holden could do it, so could I.
We spent the rest of the afternoon watching the empty warehouse remain empty. As the sun began to set, Quintus broke our silence.
"You should go. It's been dead all day."
"It could pick up tonight, and I'm not meeting Femi for a couple hours. I can hang around." I suddenly felt guilty about leaving and withholding my plans.
"Seriously, go. I can handle it here."
"Well, don't do anything brave unless you tell me about it first," I said with a smile. I gave him a little wave, then appeared back in my apartment.
Having a bit of time on my hands, I changed and went for a run to clear my mind for later. I needed to be sharp and focused. I knew where I was going this time, so I’d be ready for them. They didn’t know I was anything other than a human, so I couldn’t let on that I thought any different of them.
I paid attention to store windows as I ran past them, watching for the most tempting dress I could find. Not necessarily revealing, just something that would draw a jinni's eye. I wished I knew what had attracted Holden to me. Why had I of all people drawn his eye? Then the jinni the other night. . . . Why me? Maybe it didn't matter what I wore. Maybe it was just me. The expression "like a moth to flame" came to mind. What was more tempting to evil than innocence?
I found the perfect dress before I made it back to my apartment. Excited, I went home and immediately created it before the image faded from my mind. It was a stark white linen sundress that hit me just above the knee with an embroidered hem and a princess neckline. I showered and dried my hair, letting it fall in natural glossy waves around my shoulders. My skin looked sun-kissed and dewy from the combination of sitting on the rooftop all day and my run this evening. I applied a little pink lip gloss and some mascara as my finishing touches. I looked like a virgin sacrifice.
Femi arrived at my apartment right on time, a large Chicago pizza in hand. She looked me up and down. "Tonight's not about fun, is it?" she asked.
"What? You don't like my dress?"
"You look like a preacher's daughter at the gates of hell."
I smiled and plopped a piece of pizza on my plate. "I think the jinn will appreciate it."
"You'll have to beat them off with a stick."
"That's what I'm hoping."
"Look, Olivia, you seem fun, and I don't have many non-hunter friends, but I don't want to look for trouble on my nights off—"
I interrupted before she talked herself into leaving. "We're not looking for trouble." I needed Femi on board with my plan, or I’d be in over my head. "We're looking for information."
"Same thing," Femi grumbled, but let me continue.
"This is all top secret, and I’m not supposed to tell anyone about the mission, but I need you to back me up tonight. Jinn are allegedly killing guardians. At least four have disappeared and our elders believe there’s a traitor among us. We got a tip about where the jinn would be meeting this traitor, but not when.”
She pursed her lips but didn’t comment.
“Quintus and I have staked out the location the last two days, but nothing’s happened. I don't want to sit and wait while who knows how many other guardians are being killed. I want to do something more proactive.”
Femi tilted her head to one side then the other. "Why would the jinn break the treaty? It doesn't make sense, unless they’re making some big move or power play. They have nothing to gain.” She traced her thumb across her lower lip, seemingly lost in thought. “I'll help you, but just so it’s understood, I’m not taking your side. I’m helping you because if the jinn do have something up their sleeve, it could affect the entire Abyss. It’s better to know about something like this before it hits."
I clasped my hands in front of me, excited that my plan was going to work. "I don't care why you help, just so long as you do!"
"Just out of curiosity, why do you want my help and not another guardian’s? Don't you people like to keep your business internal?"<
br />
"I don't really know any other guardians, and I can't trust they aren't the traitor. Also, no other guardians can look as human as me."
"You think I look human?" she asked doubtfully.
"I think you’re not a recognized enemy of the jinn, and you look tough. You made that jinni the other night stop in his tracks. You’ll make them think twice about messing with me, which is just what I need while I’m playing the wide-eyed human."
"Well hell, this might be fun. You should have told me you wanted me to look like a badass tonight. I would’ve worn my shit-kicker boots."
I laughed. "Femi, you so don't need the boots." She was wearing tight black leather pants and a top that was closer to a bikini top than a shirt. It wrapped around her in a twisted design showing off the tight, corded muscles of her flat bronze stomach and the tattoo of a tiger rising up from her lower back.
Femi grinned and took a large bite of pizza. She reached down to her ankle and produced a small, shiny silver knife with a wavy blade. "Find somewhere to keep this, in case I get occupied. It won't kill a jinni, but if you aim for their throat, it will slow them down enough to get away."
My mind flashed back to the hotel room, and the jinni who attacked me before I died. I should have had this then. Had it not been for Holden—
"Hey, you okay?"
"Yeah. Sorry. Memories."
"You'll be fine. If your jinni shows up, point him out, and I'll take care of him."
I shook my head. "Stay away from him. He's dangerous."
"So am I," Femi said dryly.
"You don't know Holden."
Femi's hand froze half way to her mouth. She looked over at me, her pupils shifting and contracting vertically. "Did you say Holden?"
Argh—I couldn’t believe I’d blurted it out like that. "Yes, that’s his name. Holden Smith."
"You dated Holden Smith." She looked at me with a new appreciation. "The freaking North American commander?"
"What? No, that's not him. Holden, well, I don't really know what he did because he kept it from me, but he couldn't have been commanding anyone. He only ever spoke to me. Holden was more solitary."
