“Sulking.”
She walked to the couch and sat down next to him. “You’re okay too.”
“I love her. I can’t let her out of my heart, and I need to.”
She knew he was crying, but she stayed close without touching him. “Do you think it would help if you told her how you feel?”
“No. We made our decision. She married him. The kids seem fine. I have to let it go.”
“It’s been two years. How are you going to let it go?”
“I don’t know. It’s killing me,” he said. His voice sounded wet, and after a while he sniffed hard.
Regan kissed her brother on the head and walked up the stairs. It seemed like they both hurt when it came to love. She wondered how long her new affair would last. Perhaps she should look for a new job just in case the one with Zachary Benson should come to a crashing, lying, cheating, hateful end.
It wasn’t very positive of her. How was it going to work if she was so pessimistic?
Regan undressed and slipped on her nightgown. She brushed her hair before climbing into bed. As she rested her head against the pillow, she sighed. She still couldn’t help but wonder what she was doing. Her stomach was twitching with nerves, and she pressed her hand over it to soothe it. Then, absentmindedly, she traced her fingertips over the scar that would always remind her she was making another big mistake.
Chapter seven
Regan hadn’t been this nervous about going to work since her first day at Benson, Benson, and Hart. Now that she and Zach were an item outside the office, her nerves were making her sick to her stomach. She’d tossed and turned all night long and fought with makeup to conceal the black circles under her eyes. Now it was time to face the decision she’d made and walk into that building sure that what she was doing was the right thing. Even if she wasn’t sure it was.
She hurried to the office, stored her things under her desk, and then went right into Zach’s office, but it was empty. She walked back to her desk only to find an enormous stack of contracts and plans on it. The note on top said Please see to this ASAP.
Well, damn it! Once again, the man she worked for had pushed her away. Yet that’s what they had agreed on, at her insistence. No special treatment—and there was none. So why did it feel so much like he was rejecting her?
Regan sat right down at her desk and started sifting through the piles. As the office began to fill, people stopped by her desk to say hello or to drop off messages for Zach and reports that were due on other builds. Audrey—not Zach—had called her at least four times, and so had Simone Pierpont. Daily conversations with Audrey she could handle. Simone Pierpont—that was another story.
It was ten o’clock before Zach called. “Hello, darling.”
“Don’t.” She kept her voice hushed as the anxiety over his absence weighed her belly. “Not only are we between eight and five, but where are you?” Her voice trembled with the surge of anger that’d hit her the moment she heard his voice. “This isn’t what I had in mind by us keeping it professional. I thought you’d at least have the courtesy to come into the office.”
“Regan, calm down,” he said. “I’m in L.A.”
“L.A.? What are you doing there? I’ve only been gone from you a few hours.”
“I know. When I got home, I had seven messages from the investor, so I went into the office and there were four more. This deal is too big for the firm to lose. I got on the next plane out here. I’ve had to buy new clothes and shoes.” He laughed. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to bother you in the middle of the night.”
She blew out a breath and calmed. “I’m sorry.”
“No need. Did you get the pile I left you on your desk?”
“Yes. I’m almost to the bottom of it.”
“Well you’ll be happier when you get to the bottom.” His voice smiled even through the phone. “I’ll call you if I get the chance. I’m hoping to get out of here by tomorrow. This guy is an… never mind. Oh, and we need to make plans to be at the ground breaking in Dallas. It’s only a week away.”
“I have your itinerary already scheduled and your ticket—”
“Regan.” Her pulse quickened when he said her name. “I want you there. Get on that flight.”
“Are you sure that…”
“Regan, don’t worry about it.” His voice was tense and sharp, not in anger but with the sense of sensual urgency. “And I know you booked a room with a king bed. You wouldn’t have done any less. Don’t you dare go booking yourself a separate room.”
The tantalizing sound of his voice made her breath catch in her chest. The very image of sharing a room—a bed—with him had her body heat rising. She put her hand to her chest and sucked in a breath to calm her racing thoughts.
“I miss you,” he said right before he hung up.
Regan disconnected her headset and let her nerves calm. Then she began to sort through the pile of papers, wondering what was at the end. There she found a drawing of a rose just like the one Zach had tucked into her hair. He’d signed it, Love, Zach. She smiled as she slipped it into her purse. How quickly things could change. She missed him desperately. They’d moved beyond a casual relationship, and it was time she was intimate with someone. It had been almost two years.
Everything about Zach indicated she could trust him. She knew that instinctively. But it was so difficult to know whether she could trust her instincts.
Then she thought of Carlos. He mourned his failed marriage, and Regan wallowed in the pain of a mistake. They both needed to move on and stop living in the past. Zach was not Alexander Hamilton. She was going to take her first step. She was going to go to Dallas with Zachary Benson. She was going to hold hands with him in public and kiss him senseless. She was going to share his bed, and for the time being, his life. Yes, that’s what she was going to do.
Zach’s trip to L.A. had extended three more days and had drained every ounce of energy from him. He flew from there to Kansas City, where weather caused extensive delays. The overcast skies had dampened his mood, and the only person who could have lifted it was a state away. Certainly he’d much rather spend his time with her wrapped in his arms than linger here dealing with the rain and an angry construction foreman.
“Rearrange my itinerary,” he called to tell Regan. “I’ll have to meet you in Dallas.”
She sighed, and he felt her disappointment. “Zach, maybe this isn’t the right trip for me to go on.”
“Don’t be silly. I want you there more than ever. I miss you. I miss you so much I’m sick over it.” He lay in the hotel bed with the late shows on and her voice in his ear, his body aching because she was so far away.
“Okay, then. I’ll meet you there. You promise to be there, right?”
He didn’t like the tension in her voice. “I’ll be there.” He let out a breath. “Do you realize I only got in a few minutes of good kisses last weekend? Not a very good start for a new relationship. I’d like to have had a few more hours of it by now.”
“Well then, I’ll make it worth your wait.” There was a playfulness in her voice now, and he was more comfortable with that. He was also in agony that he couldn’t just touch her, kiss her, or make love to her whenever he wanted to—like right now.
“Get some rest. I’ll call you in the morning with details. I was hoping to get John out to L.A. to work on that project, but if Kansas City falls much further behind, I’ll have to ship him out here.”
“He’ll do you well no matter where you put him.”
“I know. Good night, Regan.” He hung up the phone and folded his arms under his head. A few more days and he’d have her in his arms and in his bed. He couldn’t help but wonder how she’d react to that. There was still something she hid from him; her whole family had kept a guarded eye on him. Someone had hurt her badly, and they were all sure he’d do the same, including Regan.
He had no intentions of hurting her. For the first time in his life he knew he loved someone, and it was killing him not to b
e with her. He couldn’t tell her over the phone. He wasn’t even sure he could tell her in person yet, but the love was there. It was real. And it wasn’t going to fade, ever.
Zach picked up the remote to the TV and changed the channel. He’d never lost a bid on a build, and he’d never lost a battle in business. He certainly wasn’t going to lose the woman he loved over some other man’s mistakes. Regan Keller was his, forever.
Regan heard Carlos tapping his foot on the wood floor of the entryway, then he pounded his hand against the wall. The sound resonated up to her bedroom and made her jump.
“If you want a ride you’d better hurry!” he called up to her. “Just because you’re off to sleep with the boss doesn’t mean he’ll tolerate me being late!”
“That’s not funny.” She walked out of her bedroom with her suitcase.
“You look lovely, now let’s go.” He hurried up the stairs and took the case from her.
Regan looked down at the outfit she’d put on. “I don’t know if I like this suit. Maybe I…”
Carlos turned and gave her an icy stare. “If you change one more time, I’m leaving your ass here. Now c’mon!” He strode out the door and to the car with her suitcase as she tried to lock the door and hurry down the stairs in her high heels.
They got into the car, and as he drove, she rummaged through her bag and did a verbal last-minute check of her carry-on bag for the tickets, contracts, reservations, and everything else she would need to do business in Dallas.
“You’re making me nervous,” Carlos said, “and all I have to do is push you out of the car.”
“I just want it all to be perfect. He doesn’t need anything to go wrong just because I’m by his side and not at the desk in his office.”
“What is it with women? You worry too much.”
When they reached the terminal, he pulled to the curb. He gathered her bags and set them on the sidewalk.
“Now, call if you need anything. Say no if you have to.” He gave her a supportive glance. “And damn it, Regan, let go a little and have some fun. The man is crazy about you, and you’re crazy about him.”
“I’m scared to death.” Her heart was racing and her hands shook. It would only take a word and Carlos would take her back home. But she wanted to do this.
“I know. You’ll be fine.” He kissed her on the cheek. “See you in a few days.”
When Regan’s plane landed in Dallas, she was giddy with anticipation and drenched in anxiety. It had been a week since she’d seen Zach, touched him, or kissed him. Within hours, he'd wrap her in his arms and make love to her.
She let out a steady breath as the plane taxied to the gate. So much for promises made to myself. She’d fallen head over heels in love with her boss. Again.
Regan followed the signs toward the baggage claim area, and there he was. Her suitcase already rested at his feet, a bouquet of daisies filled one hand, and a hot dog filled the other.
She kissed him first. “What is this?”
“Reminiscent of our first date.” He smiled and handed her the hot dog, and she took a bite. He gently took the rest of the hot dog, which was nothing to write home about, and dropped it into a trash can. “Okay, joke aside, let’s get some real food. I’m starving.”
He handed her the daisies, wrapped one arm around her as they walked away from the carousel, and pulled her luggage out to the limo that waited for them.
“This isn’t the car I booked.”
The driver opened the door for them. She climbed into the car, and Zach followed before the driver shut the door and put her luggage in the trunk.
She laughed as it pulled from the curb and Zach wrapped his arms around her and covered her mouth with his.
“I’ve been known to do a few things on my own.” Their tongues met and their breath quickened as he leaned her back on the seat.
“I thought we’d wait to get to the hotel.” Panic rose in her, fighting past the pleasure she felt as his lips slid over her throat and his hands explored her rib cage under her shirt.
“Appetizer.” He smiled as he caught her lip in his teeth, and she gasped.
When the car slowed, they gathered themselves back up. Regan did her best to straighten the blouse she wore and rake her fingers through her tousled hair.
He skimmed her cheek with his finger. “You’re beautiful.”
“Nothing like a teenage romp in the back of the limo on date night.”
“This was a romp? It’s been a while since you’ve had one, then.” His smile was seductive, and his laugh was damn sexy, even if he was laughing at her.
The door opened and the driver helped her out. She stood outside of a restaurant whose windows and doors were etched in gold trim and reflected the midday sun. Patrons in business suits walked in and out, busy on cell phones or talking to one another.
“We’re meeting clients. So, I promise to keep my hands and manners in check.” He touched her arm and pulled her closer to whisper in her ear. “But before the night is over, you’re mine.”
The sudden twinge in her chest made her want to run. Was it a promise or a threat? She told herself she had to stop worrying. He wasn’t going to hurt her.
There were four others at the table waiting for them. Regan hoped to God she looked okay and their little romp in the backseat hadn’t stolen all her professionalism.
“Zachary, how nice of you to join us.” The first man stood. He was tall, gangly, and as old as her father. He shook Zach’s hand and then hers before introducing the others at the table.
Regan sat next to Rebecca, the older gentleman’s assistant and only other woman at the table. Rebecca graciously made conversation while the men bantered about business.
“So you’re Zach’s new assistant?” she asked.
“Yes, I’ve been with him a little over a month.”
The woman nodded. “Mary Ellen had her baby, then?”
“Yes, that was on my first day. Her water broke right in the office.” She reached for a breadstick from the basket on the table. “She had a little girl. Cute as a button.”
With meals ordered, business went on around them. Regan caught a few names she recognized, and they filled her in on the plans for the ground breaking. All the while, Rebecca watched her with a thoughtful eye.
When the meal had ended, Regan excused herself to the ladies’ room. When she walked out to the sinks, Rebecca was there.
“They are such bores. I tell you, if I wasn’t getting paid to pay attention, I think I’d die of boredom,” she said as she fixed her lipstick.
Regan only smiled, but Rebecca still watched her in the mirror. “I just can’t get over the feeling I’ve met you,” she said.
“I don’t think so. This is the first trip I’ve made with Mr. Benson.” She was careful to keep her professionalism by not calling him Zach.
Rebecca tilted her head, and her brows drew closer together. “Where did you work before?”
“I was in Hawaii before. I didn’t make it away from the islands for a few years. I’m sure I resemble someone.”
“Perhaps.” She continued to stare.
When they returned, Regan was relieved to find the men standing at the table shaking hands ready to leave the restaurant. They said their goodbyes and walked outside.
The car waited for them. Zach let Regan in and then followed. She kept her eyes focused out the window. She didn’t want to look at him, afraid that he’d see she was hiding something. She’d never thought anyone would remember her, but they did. Rebecca was proof that her past was still here.
Zach touched her arm gently. “Everything okay?”
“Yes, just fine.” But it wasn’t fine. She’d recognized Rebecca as well, though she wouldn’t have been able to call her by name. They had met. It seemed like a lifetime ago. Regan had been prominently displayed on the arm of Alexander Hamilton. It had been one of the very few times he’d taken her into public with him when she was pregnant. She let out a jagged breath, hoping Zach was
n’t watching as he took a call on his cell phone. Seeing the woman at lunch had made her worry that she would eventually run into others who knew her, and she didn’t want to risk that. As far as she knew, Alexander Hamilton lived his happy life with his wife in a plush villa in Italy, and he thought Regan was dead.
She’d assumed their paths wouldn’t cross again—until today. Now she was scared for her life again. And not only for herself, but for Zach too.
She was bigger than her past was, she reminded herself with a deep breath. Her fresh start of a new life had happened the morning her car wouldn’t start and she fell into Zachary Benson’s lap. She wasn’t going to let that go.
Zach had upgraded his room to a suite to impress her. During the ride to the hotel, she hadn’t smiled once and had barely said a word, but when she saw the suite, a cool smile formed on her lips.
“Zach, this is beautiful.” She spun around in the entry.
“I’ll fix you a drink.” He walked to the stocked bar and poured her a glass of wine and himself a whiskey and Coke.
She was staring out over Dallas when he handed her drink to her. She’d tilted her head when he moved behind her, exposing her neck. It was long, slender, and his need to kiss it grew irresistible. His lips skimmed her skin and her pulse quickened under his lips. Regan turned into him, and he slid his free hand around her waist to the small of her back, pulling her closer to him. She felt small in his arms, fragile, and feminine. He took their drinks and set them aside then gathered her back into his arms.
He pulled her blouse from the waist of her skirt. She shuddered. “Zach…”
He didn’t like the fear that clouded her eyes when he touched her. Her body tensed again, and he drew back. “I won’t hurt you.”
“I know, but I’m afraid.”
“Of what?”
“Of you rejecting me later.” Her words were sharp, and they stabbed at him. The pain in them made him bitter toward every man who came before him. But he wanted to be the last, and in order for that to happen, he had to find a way to break through that wall she kept between them.
The Executive's Decision Page 12
