by Laura Iding
She looked so stricken his heart went out to her. “And then what happened?”
Her voice had dropped down so low he was forced to lean forward to hear her. “On the way home, a truck came out of nowhere. I was so busy arguing with Andrew I didn’t see the truck until it was too late. He ran a red light, striking the passenger side of our car.”
She looked as if she was about to burst into tears. “It’s okay, Hailey,” he said, reaching across the table to take her hand. He wished they were at home so he could hold her in his arms. “I’m here for you.”
“I don’t think you understand. Andrew died because of me.” Hailey raised her anguished gaze up to his. “Don’t you see? If I hadn’t argued with him, if I hadn’t made such a big deal out of it, he’d be alive right now.”
“No, you don’t know that,” he argued, tightening his grip on her hand when she tried to pull away. “Hailey, listen to me. So you argued. So what? The guy ran a red light! How is that in any way your fault?”
“I didn’t see him. I wasn’t paying close enough attention to my surroundings,” she said.
“And you think if Andrew had been driving, the outcome would have been any better? That’s crazy. For sure he wouldn’t have been able to pay close attention to his surroundings, not after all those drinks. No, I think if Andrew had been driving, both of you would have probably died.”
She was quiet for a long moment. “I’ve replayed those seconds before the crash over and over in my head. I just can’t help thinking I should have seen that red truck sooner.”
“And if you had?” he pressed. “Was there really a way to avoid the guy running a red light? Seriously, Hailey, where could you have gone? You had the right of way, didn’t you?”
She shrugged helplessly.
He couldn’t stand to see her hurting like this. Why had he brought up the painful past? But then a horrible thought occurred to him. “You did have the right of way, correct? I mean, you didn’t get a ticket or anything, did you?” he asked cautiously.
“No.” Hailey let out a deep heavy sigh. “He got the ticket, not me. But just a few weeks later I heard about another woman who was having an argument in the car and caused a serious accident. She got cited for reckless homicide. Ever since then I’ve wondered if I got off too easy.”
Hailey couldn’t believe she’d told Simon her deepest secret, but now that it was out in the open, she couldn’t deny feeling relieved.
“Trust me, Hailey, a guy running a red light trumps an argument in the car every time.” Simon stroked his thumb over the back of her hand, the caress sending tingles of awareness up her arm. “I heard about that case where the woman was cited for reckless homicide for not paying attention to the road because it made national news, but that was a completely different situation. Don’t you see? It wasn’t your inattentiveness that caused the accident, the way it did with that woman. The guy who ran the red light broke the law and caused the accident.”
She licked her suddenly dry lips. What he was saying did make sense. But she’d lived with the guilt for so long she was afraid to believe. “I wish I could believe that for sure, Simon. Every time I think of that night, I think of how I might have punched the gas pedal, shooting forward enough to avoid the crash if I hadn’t been so busy arguing with Andrew about his drinking.”
“Don’t torture yourself like this,” he pleaded. “I’m sorry you had to go through that but you can’t feel guilty for the rest of your life. I’ve felt guilty over things I’ve done in the past, too, but sometimes I think bad things happen for a reason. Because they teach us a lesson. Or because they somehow make us stronger.”
He wasn’t telling her anything she hadn’t already told herself. Because there were times that she wondered how Andrew would have turned out if he had survived. Would he have continued to drink? Become an alcoholic? Or would he have turned his life around? Could she have helped him?
It was the not knowing that hurt the worst.
But one thing she did know for sure. In her heart, she knew that she and Andrew hadn’t been destined to stay together.
“I guess you’re right,” she agreed slowly. For the first time she considered how the accident might have made her stronger. For one thing, she’d learned how to overcome adversity in a big way.
Was it possible Simon was right? That things happened for a reason?
It occurred to her suddenly that if she hadn’t been riding her bike in the thunderstorm because of her fear of driving, she and Simon might not be sitting across from each other right now.
Fate? Maybe.
The waiter interrupted them, asking if they’d decided on what they wanted to order. She was very glad when Simon turned down the happy-hour cocktail two-for-one specials to order the tomato and mozzarella appetizer instead. He also told the waiter to keep their water glasses full.
“Thank you, Simon,” she said, after the waiter left.
“For what?” he asked, reaching for her hand again.
“Not drinking,” she clarified. “I know I’m probably overreacting, but after everything that happened with Andrew, I can’t help how I feel.”
“Hailey, you are far more important to me than a measly drink,” he said in a low, husky tone. “Of course I’m going to honor your wishes. Why wouldn’t I?”
She had to blink to keep sudden tears from welling up in her eyes. She remembered, with sudden clarity, how she’d pleaded with Andrew to stop after the third martini, especially because his voice had become more boisterous and his gait unsteady, indicating he’d had enough. But he’d brushed aside her concerns as if they’d been unimportant.
She shouldn’t doubt her decision not to let Andrew drive. But maybe she should have called for a taxi. Although there was no way of knowing if the taxi would have been hit by the red truck instead.
“Hailey, don’t. Please.” She glanced at him in surprise. And the expression in his gaze confirmed he knew exactly what was going through her mind. “Don’t keep playing the what-if game. It’s a game that’s impossible to win.”
She couldn’t help but smile. “You sound like you’re speaking from experience.”
He nodded, his expression grimly serious. The shadows in his gaze surprised her. “I am. I’ve played that game too many times to count. And I lost every time.”
Because of the fight with his girlfriend that had cost him his career? “Simon, you’re not responsible for what’s-her-name’s actions. Really, what could you have done differently?”
There was a long pause. “Erica,” he said finally. “Her name was Erica. And I know I’m not responsible for her actions, but I am responsible for my own.”
Before she could ask him what he meant by that, the waiter brought their appetizer. From there, the conversation turned to food and the choices of possible entrées.
They each decided to try something different and to split the meals to share. Hailey was glad when Simon kept the mood of the evening light.
She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had fun spending time with a man. How long since she’d been out on a date? Not since those early months with Andrew.
And she wasn’t going to think of her former fiancé now.
For once she was going to be selfish and only think about herself. And Simon.
She was going to learn from her past mistakes and move forward with her life.
“Are you all finished?” he asked, when she set her fork down and pushed her plate away with a sigh.
“Yes, the food was delicious but, honestly, I can’t eat another bite.”
His plate was, of course, completely empty. “Neither can I. Although I can’t decide which meal I liked more. Your swordfish or my veal.”
She laughed. “They were both fabulous. And it looks like your mother taught you to always clean up your plate,” she teased.
“She did.” Simon handed over her crutches when she stood. “My parents chose to retire in Arizona, which is great for them, but unfortunately I don’t se
e them as often as I should.”
Secretly pleased he was opening up about his family, she responded in kind. “I don’t see my parents much either, but for different reasons. My parents split up when I was young, and I bounced back and forth between households until I was sixteen, when I finally put my foot down and insisted on staying with my mother. It was awkward, especially after they both remarried.”
She tensed a bit when Simon rested his hand in the small of her back. The way he was always touching her caught her off guard. Andrew hadn’t been one to display overt gestures of affection. She couldn’t deny how she loved the way Simon touched her, with the barest hint of possessiveness.
“That must have been difficult for you,” Simon murmured as they headed out of the restaurant and back out to his car. “Did both of your parents have more children?”
“Yes,” she admitted. “I have three half-brothers and two half-sisters, but they’re all much younger than I am.”
“I bet that didn’t help in making you feel welcome,” he said astutely.
She wrinkled her nose. “Yeah, pretty much. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t as if I didn’t have a good childhood, because I did. Yet once I moved out to attend college, I knew I’d never go back.” Which was why she was teetering on the brink of debt now. Between the car accident and moving to Cedar Bluff to start over, she’d used up the majority of her savings.
Simon drove to her apartment, pulling into the parking lot and then glancing over at her, his expression uncertain. “I had a great time, Hailey, and I have to confess, I’m not ready for the evening to end.”
She caught her breath at his frank admission. “I’m not ready for the evening to end, either. Do you want to come up for a bit?”
He stared at her for a long moment. “Yes. And I don’t want you to be offended, but I have an overnight kit in the trunk.”
Her jaw dropped open in surprise. An overnight kit? So he’d planned to spend the night with her again? She wasn’t sure if she should be flattered or upset. So much for thinking that they should slow things down a bit. “I honestly don’t know what to say,” she admitted.
“Don’t be mad,” he said, opening the driver’s-side door. “I wasn’t taking anything for granted, Hailey. I only threw some things together because I was hoping and praying you’d invite me up.”
She climbed out of the car and reached into the backseat for her crutches. “And if I hadn’t?”
He paused and shrugged. “I would have understood. It’s your decision, Hailey. I can’t say I wouldn’t be disappointed, but if you’ve changed your mind about this—about us—then I’ll leave you alone.”
The ball was in her court and for the life of her she couldn’t remember why she’d thought it would be best to slow things down. Maybe keeping her relationship with Simon on a professional level at the hospital was more difficult than she’d imagined but wasn’t being with him worth the effort?
Did she really want him to leave?
“Please don’t go,” she said, reaching out to him. He came closer and folded her into a warm embrace.
“Are you sure?” he murmured, trailing a string of hot kisses down the side of her neck. “If you need more time, I’ll understand.”
More time? Wasn’t it a bit late for that? They’d already made love once and she desperately wanted to be with him again. Had she ever felt this insatiable need with Andrew? If she had, she didn’t remember it.
Enough of punishing herself for the past. She wanted this. She wanted him.
“I’m sure. Come inside with me, Simon.” She flashed him a cheeky grin. “And don’t forget your overnight bag.”
He held her purse for her as Hailey opened her apartment door and flipped on the lights. Simon followed right behind her, carrying his small duffel bag.
For a moment there he’d prayed he hadn’t been over-confident in telling her about the overnight kit he’d packed. Thank heavens Hailey hadn’t taken offense.
“I’ll, uh, just be a few minutes,” she said, heading down the hall toward the bathroom. “Make yourself at home.”
He took her at her word, heading into her bedroom, tossing his bag onto the closest chair and setting her purse on the bedside table. In his duffel he had a change of boxers, his shaving gear and, of course, condoms.
Hailey had told him she was on the Pill, but he wasn’t about to take anything for granted. Considering he didn’t have to work until second shift the next day, he figured—or at least hoped—they could take their time and really enjoy themselves.
When Hailey emerged ten minutes later, dressed in a filmy nightgown that was so sheer it gave him an enticing view of her breasts, he nearly swallowed his tongue.
How had he gotten so lucky? Hailey was beautiful, sweet, sexy, smart and funny.
The whole package. Everything he’d always wanted in a woman. And more. For the first time in years he realized he could trust his gut instincts about her.
She wasn’t Erica. Not by a long shot.
“You’re so beautiful,” he said as he crossed over to meet her. He tossed the crutches aside and gathered her into his arms. Lifting her up, he carried her to bed.
“So are you,” she murmured, kissing his neck in a way that made him groan. She tugged at his shirt. “But I think you’re overdressed.”
“I think so too.” He set her down and then quickly stripped off his clothes. As he joined her in bed, her cell phone rang.
“Ignore it,” he whispered, suckling a rosy-tipped breast.
She gasped and arched beneath his kiss. “Okay.”
He lifted up the sheer fabric, desperate to see all of her. Every glorious inch. And when her cell phone started ringing again, he swore under his breath and levered up to grab her purse with the phone inside and hand it to her. “Shut it off,” he said huskily.
She chuckled and dug the cell phone out. She glanced at the screen. “That’s odd,” she murmured.
“What?” he could barely hide his impatience. He didn’t care who was calling, he wanted to make love to Hailey. Now. Without any more interruptions.
“Both calls are from an unknown number,” she said as she shut off the cell phone.
He froze, a chill running down the length of his spine. He swiftly took the phone from her hand, turned it back on and stared down at the screen.
The familiar words screamed at him.
Unknown number? Just like the non-stop hang-ups at both his home phone and his cell phone?
Dread twisted in his gut like a snake. This couldn’t be a coincidence. All the calls had to be from the same person.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
“SIMON?” Hailey put a hand on his arm. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
He pulled his gaze up from the phone to look at her. What should he tell her? He couldn’t be certain who the unknown caller was. Maybe the same telemarketers that hounded him were bothering everyone that owned a cell phone.
But even as the thought formed, he knew he was lying to himself. There was no way the caller was a random telemarketer.
Two years. He’d been in Cedar Bluff for two years. Surely Erica had moved on by now. No woman in her right mind would keep trying to track someone down for two years.
But then again he couldn’t say Erica had ever been in her right mind. She was far from emotionally stable.
His fault. This was all his fault.
“Simon?” Hailey said again. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
He slowly shook his head, knowing he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t explain and he definitely couldn’t stay to make love with Hailey.
“I’m sorry.” Regretfully, he pulled the sheet up to cover her bare breasts, before rolling off the bed and reaching for his discarded boxers. “I can’t.”
“What? You’re leaving? Now?” Her incredulous tone made him wince and he felt a hundred times worse than she could ever know.
He was screwing this up badly, and he knew it. But he needed to know if he was just being paranoid
or if it was even remotely possible that Erica was the one calling him.
Calling Hailey.
The hairs on the back of his neck lifted and the sick feeling in his gut twisted to the point that he almost doubled over in agony. How could Erica even know about Hailey? Even if she’d found his address and his phone number, he’d never once taken Hailey to his place.
Was Erica following him again? The way she had back in Chicago? And if so, why suddenly start calling Hailey?
Was she going to start stalking Hailey the way she’d continually come after him? And ruin her career as well?
The very thought made him want to slam his fist through the wall. None of this was Hailey’s fault. None of it! Dammit, hadn’t he suffered enough? What more did Erica want from him?
Whatever it was, maybe he deserved it, he thought with a tired sigh. But Hailey sure as hell didn’t.
He glanced at Hailey, knowing he’d do anything to protect her. Because this was his mess to clean up, not hers. He needed to put an end to Erica’s out-of-control behavior once and for all.
“I’m sorry,” he said again, as he finished pulling on his clothes. “But I can’t do this.”
She wasn’t about to let him off the hook so easily. “What can’t you do? This? Us? Our relationship? Talk to me, Simon. You’re not making any sense. I’m sure whatever the problem is, we can work it out. Together.”
He reached for his duffel, steeling himself against the need to tell her everything. He shouldn’t have let things go this far. Not until he’d dealt with Erica. Dragging Hailey into the mix wasn’t fair.
How had he even thought he could have a future without settling the past, once and for all?
