by Chloe Hawk
I took a few deep breaths, waiting until my breathing had slowed to normal before returning to the bedroom. I went to grab my pajamas from where they were laying in a pile on the floor, but Cole propped himself up on one arm.
“No,” he said. “I want you naked.”
I shook my head. “I’m not sleeping naked.” I reached down and picked up the tank top, but Cole reached out and grasped my arm.
“My rules, remember?”
I hesitated for a moment, then dropped the garment onto the floor. I climbed into bed, making sure to stay on my side. The last thing I wanted was for Cole to feel like I expected him to stay here with me, or that I felt like he owed me anything.
Cole slid the blankets off my body, letting his gaze move over my naked body.
His hand reached out and slid over my breast, then down the side of my stomach and the curve of my hip.
Then suddenly, he was on top of me again, his hands pinning my wrists to the bed. I felt him growing hard against my bare pussy, and I immediately got wet again.
“Do you know how bad I want to fuck you, Avery?” he growled. “Do you know how hard it is having you here, walking around in those tight little outfits, looking so god damn sexy? All I can think about is getting into your tight little pussy, how you would feel spreading out around my cock.”
He was holding my wrists hard, and his fingers pinched my skin. “Please,” I said, wiggling a little bit. “Please, Cole, you’re hurting me.”
It was like a switch flipped.
He dropped my hands like I was on fire and moved away from me, sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed.
He sat there for a second, then dropped his head into his hands.
I reached out and touched his back. “Cole?”
He stood up and grabbed his clothes, started putting them on.
“Cole?” I said. “I’m sorry, I just… is everything okay?”
“No, everything’s not okay,” he said. “I hurt you.”
“No, it was just… you were just holding me a little too tight, that’s all. It felt good. I wanted you to keep going.” My voice was soft, and I could hear the desperation in my tone. I hated that I wanted him so bad, hated that he had this power over me.
He was pulling his shirt on angrily, pushing his arms through the holes. He stood up and started walking toward the door, and I felt tears starting in my eyes.
He was just leaving me here, in this bed, naked, after he’d taken what he wanted.
“Good,” I called after him. “Good, Cole, just leave. That’s what you do best anyway.”
He came storming back into the room, eyes blazing. “What did you say?”
“I said you’re good at leaving. So go ahead and do it.” I pulled the covers back up over my body. I wanted to get dressed, but I wasn’t going to get up and grab my clothes – it would have given him a full view of me, and there was no way I was going to allow that. He’d seen the last of me naked.
“Stop saying that, Avery,” he warned. “Stop saying I left you.”
“I’ll say whatever I damn well please. You left, and that’s it.” I made sure to keep my tone neutral, the way I’d done every time someone brought up his name, like he meant nothing to me, like I didn’t care he’d left. After a while, I’d started believing it myself. But ever since I’d seen him, it was like the curtain was being lifted and revealing the truth, little by little. And the truth was, I did care. Cole had hurt me more than anyone, ever.
My stepfather was a viper – but I’d never trusted him. Cole had been different. Cole was never supposed to have hurt me. So when he did, the pain had been almost unbearable. Which is why I’d done my best to bury it deep inside.
“Stop fucking saying that,” Cole demanded. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Avery.”
“I’ll stop saying it when you explain. Oh, that’s right, you can’t.” I didn’t care if I sounded like a brat. I was pissed.
“You want to know why I left, Avery? You really want to know?”
“Yes!”
He walked all the way into the room and stopped at the food of the bed. His eyes locked onto mine, the soft light of the city shining through the windows behind him, illuminating his face and making him look even more gorgeous than he already was. He was so beautiful, so perfect that I almost couldn’t take looking at him.
Tears burned in my eyes again, and I tried my best to blink them away. I wanted to turn back time, turn it back to when we were lying in my bed, the two of us, our arms around each other, our lips pressed together.
“I saw you,” Cole said softly.
“What?”
He sat down on the end of the bed, shook his head and placed his hands together, his elbows resting on his knees. “That night, the night I left. You were… you were coming out of the bathroom after your shower. You were wearing my grey Giants t-shirt and you…you were so beautiful, Avery. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I waited for you to come downstairs, but when you didn’t, I went up to find you.”
I stayed silent, my pulse racing, waiting for him to go on.
“When I got back upstairs, my dad was there. He was standing outside your door. And I knew, I just knew he was there to do something to you, Avery. I grabbed him, pulled him down the stairs and dragged him into the backyard.”
“No.” I shook my head, remembering. “No, that night, the night you left…no one was home. You were out with Jessica McNeal and Gordon and my mom were out drinking.”
“That’s true,” Cole said. “But we all got home around the same time, probably around the time you were finishing up your shower. I almost beat the shit out of him that night, Avery. I punched him three times, and I couldn’t stop. He told me to leave, that if I left, he wouldn’t touch you. He promised me, and I believed him.”
“So you left because you thought it was going to protect me?”
“I wanted to take you with me, I wanted to take you away with me. But then I realized the worst part of the whole thing.”
“What?” I asked softly.
“I was just like him.” He turned and looked at me, and I could see the pain in his eyes, burning deep and bright. “I wanted you, Avery. I wanted to touch you and kiss you. I wanted to be with you.”
I reached out and touched his arm. “I wanted to be with you, too, Cole.”
He pulled away. “No.” He stood up. “It’s wrong.”
“Why? Because I’m your stepsister?”
“Yes. And because I can’t… I’m not good for you, Avery. I want things, sexual things, that you couldn’t understand.”
“Like what?”
“Control.”
I frowned. “Yeah,” I said. “I know. But I…” I looked up at him, standing there, so tall and strong, the room bathed in moonlight around in him. My heart was beating so fast I was afraid he as going to hear it. “I want you to control me. I want you to tell me what to do, I want…” I swallowed, the words catching in my throat. “I want you to teach me how.”
He didn’t say anything, the seconds ticking by as the silence stretched between us. It felt like we were hovering on the edge of some invisible cliff, waiting to see which way we were going to get pushed. I wanted whatever he was about to say to send us over the cliff, to drop us into freefall without any net except each other.
“No,” he said finally.
“No?” I repeated incredulously.
“No, Avery. I can’t, it’s not…” He shook his head. “It’s not right.”
“I’m not a little girl anymore, Cole,” I said. “I can make my own decisions.”
“No, you can’t.”
“What?”
“You don’t know what you want, Avery. You’re fucked up just like I am.”
I recoiled. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about the fact that you like when I tell you what to do, that you like it when I’m rough with you, when I talk dirty to you and grab you hard.”
“Yeah, because I’m fucked up, Avery. I have a need to control. And I’m not going to take advantage of your weakness.”
“You’re not taking advantage of me. I told you, I want you to. I like it.”
“Stop saying that!” he said. His hands balled into fists, and he slid over on the bed until he was next to me. He put his hand on the back of my neck and pulled me toward him until our foreheads were pushed together. “Stop saying that,” he whispered.
“But it’s true.”
“Do you know how hard it is for me resist you when you say things like that?” he demanded. “Do you know how hard it is for me to keep my hands off you?” He reached up and pulled the sheet that was covering my body down, leaving me exposed.
And then he was on top of me again, his mouth on mine, his hands roaming over me, his fingers exploring as our tongues touched.
He pulled away from me for a moment, then pulled his shirt off and dropped it to the floor. I caught my breath at the sight of his body, so built and strong and perfect.
He stood up and looked down at me.
“Get off the bed,” he said.
I got off the bed and walked over to him, loving the way he was looking at me, loving the lust that burned in his eyes as he took in my naked body.
“Get on your knees,” he demanded, and I slid to the floor, the rough fabric of the carpet burning my knees. Cole reached down and grabbed my chin, tipping it up so that I was looking right in his eyes. His thumb moved over my bottom lip.
“Please, Cole,” I said, wanting so badly to please him. “Please, I’ll do whatever you want.”
He kept his eyes on mine, the look on his face letting me know he was weighing his options, deciding just what to do with me.
“Take my dick out,” he said. His voice was husky, all traces of emotion gone, replaced with nothing but desire.
I grabbed the waistband of his sweatpants, pulling them down over his muscular thighs. His cock was already hard, and I reached out and grabbed it, my palm wrapping around his shaft. I loved the feel of him in my hand, loved that he was so big and hard.
But Cole took a step back, moving out of my reach.
“Did I say you could touch it?”
“No.”
“Put your hands behind your back.”
I did as I was told and put my hands behind my back, waiting for further instruction.
“Open your mouth.”
I opened my mouth and Cole grabbed his hard cock and slid it over my tongue. I wrapped my lips around him, but he was so big I was afraid I wasn’t going to be able to take it. He put his hand on the back of my head, giving me no choice, and I began sucking him, feeling him grow rock hard in my mouth.
He reached down and played with my tits, his hands moving over my nipples. “Fuck, Avery,” he said. “Suck my dick, baby, your mouth feels so good.”
I sucked him, harder and harder, bobbing up and down, letting him use me for his pleasure.
“Use your hands now. Stroke me while I fuck your mouth.”
I began to stroke him, up and down, faster and faster. I loved the way he tasted.
“I’m going to come in your mouth, baby, don’t stop.”
A second later, I felt him go off in my mouth, felt him shoot his load down my throat. I sucked it all down, every last drop.
He picked me up and carried me to the bed, threw me down and spread my legs. He didn’t say another word, just went to town on my pussy, eating me out until I was moaning and writhing on the bed. I was close to coming just from sucking him off, and his mouth on me sent me back over the edge. A second later, my orgasm ripped through me, the most intense one I’d ever had, even more intense than the one he’d just given me.
When he was done, he closed his eyes, like he couldn’t believe what had just happened.
He stood up and began to get dressed.
His body language was closed off, and I scrambled to get under the covers, feeling exposed and vulnerable.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. “Was it… I mean, was it okay?”
“It was fine, Avery,” he said. But his voice was cold.
“Okay,” I said. Disappointment washed over me again.
He was halfway out the door when he turned around. “Are you okay?” he asked softly. “Do you need anything?”
Yes, for you to hold me the way you did last night, for you to look at me the way you were looking at me a few minutes ago, for you to love me.
“No,” I said. “I’m good.”
“Good night, Avery.”
“Good night, Cole.”
A second later, he was gone.
And this time, he didn’t come back.
***
My alarm went off the next morning at six, but I’d been awake all night, tossing and turning. And when I dragged myself into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror, my lack of sleep showed. My eyes were bloodshot, with dark circles underneath them. My hair was a rat’s nest, tangled in clumps around my head, and my cheeks were flushed and blotchy.
I stepped into the shower and shampooed and conditioned my hair, then went to work with the hair dryer, hoping to make some inroads. Concealer and foundation helped a bit, along with the white-and-black checked wrap dress and black Ralph Lauren pumps I found in the closet. The dress was made of a stretchy material, and it fit me perfectly, unlike the other things that had seemed too small.
I pulled my hair back into an impression of the bun I’d seen Kalia wearing last night, hoping I looked professional. I’d never had a job like this before, the kind of job you needed to dress up for, the kind of job where people might be judging you on how you looked.
When I got to the kitchen, I expected to find Cole there, eating breakfast or going over emails. But the apartment was empty.
There was a note on the shiny silver espresso machine.
Went in early. Please be at the office by 8. ~Cole
I pulled off the post-it and stared at it. Cole’s messy handwriting was familiar, and it made my heart clench. Other than that, though, there was no indication of what we’d done last night, no indication that we were anything other than boss and employee.
I brewed myself an espresso and poured it into a travel mug I found under the counter. It was a little early for me to leave for Cole’s office, but I didn’t want to be late. So I took the elevator downstairs and headed outside.
The street was filled with people, all of them rushing off to their jobs or classes or appointments. I fell into step with them, finding a certain comfort and happiness in the fact that I was a part of it.
When I was a few blocks from Cole’s office, I realized I was going to be really early. I didn’t want to be late, but I didn’t want to be too early, either. So I ducked into a coffee shop, deciding to buy myself a muffin to celebrate my first day of work.
It was silly, I knew. It wasn’t like I’d interviewed for this job, wasn’t like I’d been waiting my whole life for it. I was working for my stepbrother, hadn’t had to do anything to get the job, hadn’t earned it. But I still wanted to do a good job, still wanted to prove to Cole and myself that I could do well.
I might have gotten the job for no reason other than my connection, but it was still an assistant job to the CEO of one of the biggest company’s in New York. If I played my cards right, I could use it to gain experience, maybe even leverage it into another job somewhere else. This could be my chance to make something of myself, to get out of New Jersey, to not have to depend on anyone but myself.
I ordered my muffin and sat down at a table in the corner, paging through an issue of the New York Times someone had left behind. I sipped my espresso and ate my muffin, being careful not to get crumbs on my dress.
I was so keyed up and excited about my first day of work, and about seeing Cole again after what had happened last night, that it took me a second to realize that a man sitting in a booth across the café wa
s staring at me.
When I caught his eye, he looked quickly down at his phone. He was wearing beat-up khaki pants and a navy blue hooded sweatshirt, his face weathered from sun. He was about mid-thirties, and something about the way he was sitting – hunched over, his legs spread apart – seemed out of place.
We were in a very expensive part of the city, and most of the people here were dressed in business attire, on their way to work. This man seemed like he didn’t belong, and I didn’t like the way he was staring at me.
Relax, Avery, I told myself. You’re being paranoid.
This whole thing with Gordon was making me jumpy. There was no reason to think the man in the coffee shop was looking at me, or following me. He was probably just one of those creepy men you always heard about that hung out in the city.
Except… I glanced at him quickly out of the corner of my eye. He had a mustache, and even though he was wearing a Yankees baseball hat, I could see a tiny shock of black hair peeking out from underneath.
Black hair and a mustache.
Wasn’t that what Graham the doorman had said about the man who’d shown up at Cole’s building, demanding to be let into Cole’s apartment? Could it really be a coincidence that a man fitting that same description was here, now, giving me a weird feeling? I wondered if he’d followed me here, if he’d been watching Cole’s apartment building, waiting for me.
You’re being crazy, Avery.
Still.
I finished my muffin and left the coffee shop.
Once I was out on the street, I started to feel better. There were tons of people out here – surely if that man really was following me, he wouldn’t try anything with so many people around.
But as much as I told myself I was being crazy, I couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was watching me. I turned and looked behind me, just to make myself feel better.
But the man from the coffee shop was following me. He was weaving in and out of the crowd, trying to keep up with me. I quickened my pace, but he quickened his. I crossed to the other side of the street, and so did he.
I wasn’t sure what to do. My heart pounded in my chest, my fight or flight response in full effect. Everything inside of myself was telling me to run. But if I ran, I was afraid he’d realize I knew he was following me. And that might spur him to do something, witnesses or not.
