by Clare Lydon
Tanya’s fingers skated across Sophie’s silky thighs, warm and inviting.
Sophie shuddered.
Tanya leaned over and pressed a kiss to Sophie’s lips, at the same time running a finger through her slick juices.
Sophie bucked her hips and crushed her lips to Tanya, groaning into her mouth, breathing heavily. She thrust against Tanya’s fingers, and Tanya slipped first one, then two into her, and Sophie stilled as she did, before sitting up, her face contorted, fixing Tanya with her gorgeous green stare.
“Please fuck me,” she said as she rocked her hips, mouth open, blonde hair ruffled, just like when Tanya first met her. But they’d come such a long way since then, since that fateful meeting. And now, their future was in Tanya’s hands. Or rather, Tanya’s hand was in her future.
Sophie slung an arm around Tanya’s neck, wrapping her legs around her hips as she threw back her head once more.
Tanya didn’t need another invitation, curling another finger into Sophie, her heart rising and falling with every thrust of her hand, with every kiss to her lips.
And as she made love to her, everything else fell away; everything but Sophie. How she felt, how she tasted and how much she meant to Tanya. She loved this woman with everything she was, and that thought made Tanya open her eyes. When she did, Sophie was picture perfect, eyes closed, features blissed out, sinking into the moment.
Tanya could feel Sophie pulsing against her, she knew she was close. Tanya was close, too, and Sophie hadn’t even touched her. She didn’t like to think what would happen when she did.
When Tanya hit Sophie’s sweet spot again and again, she stilled, every muscle tensed, and then she came in a rush of sounds, her fingers raking her shoulders, Sophie clinging on as she rode out wave after wave of orgasm.
Bliss slid down Tanya as she watched Sophie come: she didn’t think she’d ever felt so in tune with a lover, so right. She knew then she never planned to let Sophie go: this was for real, finally.
As Sophie got back on an even keel, she wrapped both arms around her, slumping on her shoulder. Her breath was hot in Tanya’s ear, Sophie’s smile denting her skin.
“You think the neighbours saw any of that?” Sophie asked, pulling her head up, her blue eyes flecked with lust.
“I guess we’ll find out at the next block meeting,” Tanya replied, pulling back and kissing her lips.
“Shall we give them a little more to talk about?” Sophie asked, reaching down and undoing Tanya’s belt. She watched as Tanya stepped out of her jeans, and when she put her hand between Tanya’s legs, Tanya’s eyes grew darker.
“Yes please,” Tanya replied, pushing Sophie back on the table, before climbing up onto her knees and moving on top of her.
As Tanya parted her legs, Sophie slipped her fingers into her wetness, groaning as she did. “Fuck, you’re so wet,” she said.
All rational thought flew from Tanya as she ground down onto Sophie’s hand, throwing her head back at the same time. “It’s what you do to me,” she replied, on her knees, ignoring the pain, as Sophie fucked her.
It didn’t take long for her to come: she was too hyped from what had gone before. And when she did, she cried out, wondering if it was possible to feel any better than this, any more in love with the woman beneath her? She didn’t think so.
When she was done, Tanya fell onto Sophie, their naked bodies melded as one. She kissed Sophie’s neck, then cracked open an eyelid as their faces met.
“You want to go somewhere a bit more comfortable and private to carry this on?” Sophie asked, her fingers still inside Tanya.
“Does it mean you taking your fingers away?” Tanya asked, her insides still pulsing, a buzzing in her brain.
“Just for a few seconds,” Sophie laughed.
“No more than 30 and you’ve got a deal.”
Chapter Forty-Eight
Sophie woke up the next morning tired, but oh-so satisfied. She and Tanya had been up half the night showing the other what they’d been missing all week, and she was hoping for more of the same today. She yawned and rolled over… and Tanya wasn’t there.
Oh no, please — had she freaked out again? If she had, Sophie wasn’t sure she could take it.
Fear pooled in her stomach, and she put both hands to her head, frustration rising in her. She was in love with this woman, yet she was so stubborn. How was she going to change it?
Hang on, she was in love with her?
The bedroom door edged open, stopping Sophie’s thoughts in their tracks. In walked Tanya, carrying a tray laden with coffee and croissants. Her long limbs were encased in tiny white shorts and a red T-shirt, her chestnut hair still stuck to the side of her face.
She looked gorgeous as always, and Sophie had never been more pleased to see her, relief flooding her body.
“Morning!” Tanya said, all white teeth and chirp, putting the tray in the middle of the bed and sitting down. “You’re awake — you were dead to the world when I got up ten minutes ago.”
Sophie shook her head, all manner of emotions still ping-ponging inside it. “And you weren’t here when I woke up. I was just sitting here wondering what to do to talk you round. Thank god you walked in when you did. You didn’t freak out, did you?”
Tanya laughed, leaning over to kiss her.
When their lips connected, Sophie calmed down a little, revelling in how right it felt.
After a few seconds, Tanya pulled back, her smile broad. “You have some freckles on your nose. I only just noticed.”
“You didn’t answer the question,” Sophie growled.
Tanya kissed her again. “When I woke up this morning, the only thing I thought was how beautiful you are and how lucky I am. That’s it, nothing else.”
“You sure?”
Tanya nodded, reaching out to push a bit of Sophie’s hair behind her ear. “I’m sure. And you are beautiful.”
Sophie blushed, happiness filling her to the brim. “I am not, you’re insane.”
“If that makes me insane, then I plead guilty.” Tanya cast her gaze down to the tray, and Sophie followed her gaze. “Also, I forgot to give you something last night.” She pointed to a white envelope, on the tray beside the raspberry jam.
Sophie raised an eyebrow. “I wouldn’t say that.”
Tanya grinned. “This is something a little different that I hope you’ll like. Something I got as a way to show you how I feel.”
Sophie sat up in the bed, her back leaning against Tanya’s old-fashioned iron headboard, her brow furrowed. “This sounds serious. You haven’t named a star after me, have you?”
Tanya laughed. “I haven’t. Should I have?”
“No, those schemes are a licence to print money.” She paused. “Have you adopted a polar bear in my name?”
Tanya handed Sophie the envelope. “I’ve got a list of things I need to do now, haven’t I?”
“What is it?” Sophie asked, turning the envelope over in her hands.
“Open it and find out.”
Sophie flicked her gaze up to Tanya, then reached over to get her glasses. She was pleased to feel Tanya’s hand on her bum as she did so, so she stopped to kiss her lips as she got comfortable again.
She held the envelope in her hands, then ripped the top, pulling out what looked like some tickets. And when she focused properly, she saw they were two tickets to tonight’s performance of Mamma Mia.
Sophie’s breathing stalled as all the old feelings came flooding back to her of that fateful day. Her dad’s incomprehension; her brother’s defiance; her confusion and misery. All of them trying to work out how and if they could get her mum back. But the plain answer was they couldn’t. She knew now it wasn’t her fault.
Now Tanya was telling her it was time to let go and move on. It was time to put the past to bed and grasp her future — a future that definitely involved this delicious woman crouched on the bed beside her, a worried look on her face.
Nobody had ever done anything like this for her
before. Tanya had stepped into a breach Sophie didn’t even realise was there, and she’d never felt more loved and cared for in her entire life.
“I can’t believe you bought these,” Sophie said. She put a hand to her face, swallowing down in an attempt to stop her emotions spilling out of her. She knew it wasn’t going to work even before she felt the wetness sliding down her cheeks.
“Don’t cry,” Tanya said. “I didn’t buy them to make you sad!” She put a hand on Sophie’s arm as her warm, generous gaze swept over her. “I bought them to make you happy, so you can move on. It’s all part of the stupid, messy love contract.”
“There’s a contract?” Sophie said, wiping her eyes and sniffing.
“That’s my next envelope,” Tanya said with a grin, grabbing a tissue and handing it to Sophie.
Sophie blew her nose and wiped her eyes before replying. “I’m not sad, I’m happy,” she said. “I always wanted to see this show.”
“I hope so, because we’re going tonight. So if you were lying, let me know and I’ll rush out and buy you a star.”
Sophie shook her head, still staring at the tickets and gulping down her emotions. “This is one of the most special things anyone has ever done for me, and that’s the honest truth,” she said. “It’s so thoughtful.” She put a hand out and touched the side of Tanya’s face, and Tanya leaned into her touch.
“You’re worth it,” Tanya said.
“You’re so corny sometimes.” But right at that moment, Sophie loved corny. She could have drowned in a vat of it.
“You bring it out in me,” Tanya replied, smiling.
Sophie looked Tanya in the eye, before leaning forward and kissing her. And when she did, she remembered what she’d just realised, because it was lighting up her very core. Something she had to share with Tanya right this moment.
She pulled back from the kiss, smiling as Tanya’s eyes followed her lips, both of them breathless. “Remember what I said last night? That I’d never been in love?”
Tanya nodded, still seemingly transfixed by their kiss.
“It’s not quite true. I’d never been in love until I met you.” Sophie paused, steadying her nerve before she said the words. She was a tightrope walker going out onto the centre of the rope for the first time, arms out either side of her, no safety net.
“You’re my first love, Tanya,” she said, drawing Tanya’s hand to her lips. “I’m in love with you.” And as soon she said the words, Sophie knew that even if she did fall, Tanya was her safety net — she didn’t need anything else.
Tanya’s pupils grew darker, and a shy smiled crept onto her face. “You’re in love with me?” she said, her words studded with disbelief.
Sophie nodded, her heart pulsing as it never had before. That’s because she’d never had Tanya-flavoured love pumping through her veins — but she did now, and it tasted divine.
“That’s good, because I’m in love with you, too,” Tanya replied, kissing Sophie’s hand.
Sophie released a breath she felt like she’d been holding for days. “Oh, thank god for that. I don’t know what I’d have done if you hadn’t said it back.”
“You doubted I loved you?” Tanya said, kissing Sophie’s lips.
Sophie gave a groan as Tanya’s tongue skated along her bottom lip. When they came up for air, it took a moment for her to pick up her train of thought. “I don’t doubt it now,” Sophie replied.
And just at that moment, Delilah woke up in her basket at the end of the bed, her tiny feet padding onto the laminate floor. She barked, letting the pair know she wanted to get up on the bed.
Tanya grinned. “Great timing, Delilah,” she said, reaching down and putting her on her lap. “We were just sharing a moment, but you had to get in on the act, didn’t you?” She kissed the top of Delilah’s head, before looking back at Sophie.
“I love your dog, too, by the way,” Sophie added, leaning over and stroking Delilah’s head.
“That’s good, because we come as a package.”
“It’s a package I love,” Sophie replied. Then she picked up the tickets again. “As for these — you really don’t know what they mean.” Sophie didn’t know if Tanya appreciated the magnitude of her gesture, but Sophie did, 100 per cent.
“I do,” Tanya replied. “They mean we’re going to a show tonight.”
Chapter Forty-Nine
Sophie kicked a stone on the pavement and squinted up into the azure blue sky. Today, London resembled the Mediterranean, but they weren’t going to be around to see it. Rather, they were going to be in a car driving up to visit Tanya’s gran’s grave. After all the stories she’d heard, she was sad she’d only get to meet Tanya’s favourite relative in death, not life.
She heard the clank of their flat block’s main doors, and looked up to see Tanya chattering to Delilah as she walked her out, bag slung over her shoulder, her hair fluttering in the breeze.
Sophie’s heart pulsed: she was still stopped daily by Tanya’s beauty, inside and out.
When Tanya caught her gaze, she gave her a broad smile. “Don’t judge me for talking to my dog,” she said, giving Sophie a kiss as they drew level.
“You’re talking to the woman who gets paid to talk to dogs, so no judgement here,” Sophie replied. “It’s your constant singing of Tom Jones to her I object to.”
Tanya smiled, looking down at Delilah. “You love it, though, don’t you, Delilah?”
Delilah ignored her completely.
“She’s so rude — you should have your manners talk with my dog,” Tanya said, a grin on her face.
Sophie raised an eyebrow at her. “I’ll wait till her owner’s fully trained first. Dogs take on the traits of their owners, surely you know that by now?” She poked Tanya in the ribs when she said it.
“Ha ha,” Tanya replied. “The words to that song are brutal, though — I never realised,” she added, opening the car door and putting Delilah inside. “Did you know Delilah is about a man killing his wife?”
Tanya made a show of opening the passenger door to Sophie, bowing as she did. “Your carriage, my lady.”
“I did know that,” Sophie said, rolling her eyes at Tanya. “You’re so polite, anyone ever tell you that?” she said, giving her girlfriend a grin.
Tanya shrugged. “Manners are very important,” she said, swooping in for a kiss as Sophie got in the car, before giving her a wink.
“My dad used to play Delilah when we were little. I tried to sing it at a talent show in primary school once, but it was deemed unsuitable.”
“I’m not surprised,” Tanya replied, slamming her car door and settling herself in her seat.
“Remember when we did this drive only a short while ago?” Sophie cast her mind back, glancing at Tanya.
“I do,” Tanya said, checking her mirror, then indicating to pull out onto the busy main road. “And I remember thinking then I was mad to take you anywhere near my home town, because nothing good ever came from visiting there. But it turned out I was wrong. My gran’s from there and she was brilliant; Alan’s from there and who doesn’t love Alan?”
“Impossible not to,” Sophie replied, putting on her seat belt belatedly. She was fond of Alan, and his spare bed would always hold a special place in her heart. “You’re from there, too, and I happen to think you’re pretty cool.”
“You do?” Tanya said, smiling at Sophie.
“I do,” she replied. “Especially because you let me have control of the music while you drive.”
“So long as there’s no R&B.”
“Thank you, Coldplay lover,” Sophie replied. She switched on the radio and Abba’s Waterloo was playing — but Sophie had no reaction other than to tap her foot.
Tanya glanced over, shooting out a hand to Sophie’s arm. “Are we changing the station or are you cured of your Abba aversion? Did the show the other night work?”
Sophie smiled as she recalled the musical — it’d been bittersweet to finally see it, but she was so glad she had,
especially with Tanya by her side. Because after her mother, Tanya was quickly becoming one of the most important women in her life.
“It sorta worked,” Sophie said. “I think I’ll still always duck Mamma Mia, but we can leave this on. If for no other reason than I know how happy Abba makes you.” She smiled as Tanya sang along. “By the way, did you check the roads before we set out?”
“I did and they look miraculously clear. So let’s not jinx it by talking about it too much, okay?”
Sophie nodded. “Goddit,” she said. “What shall we talk about instead?”
“Anything but my mother,” Tanya replied.
Sophie threw her hands up in the air. “There go all my conversational gambits.”
***
The drive hadn’t been too traffic-laden and the sky was almost the same colour as it had been in London, if you ignored the clouds — which Tanya was trying to do.
They arrived at the cemetery 20 minutes ahead of schedule, but Alan was already there, standing looking at his phone. Now Tanya knew he was gay, everything about him screamed gay — his stance, his jacket, his hair — whereas previously, he’d just been Alan.
She smiled as she realised how silly her thoughts were: he was still just Alan, but she was thrilled he was gay. It made everything they’d shared in life that little bit more special, even though she still wished she’d caught on earlier.
As they approached him, Tanya’s hand firmly clasped with Sophie’s, Alan looked up and a bright white smile lit up his face.
“My favourite Londoners,” he said, holding out his arms as Tanya walked into them: Alan was like a soft armrest for the soul. He then moved onto Sophie, before stooping to make a fuss of now cone-free Delilah, who jumped into his arms.
“Ready to see where Celia’s lying, shouting at all the dead people around her?” Alan asked, motioning across the cemetery to a plot Tanya had last left open, with mounds of cold, brown earth piled up around it. She gulped, then nodded, feeling Sophie reach for her hand again.
