by BJ Harvey
This is not something I’d ask on a whim. I close the remaining distance between us. Cupping his face to ensure I have his undivided attention, I say, “I want this. I want you here. I like having you here. I like waking up to you. I like coming home with you. I like you.” His expression shifts from wary to warm, his eyes crinkling at the sides as his face gentles. “And besides, I own my place. Why help pay someone else’s mortgage when you can help pay mine?” I add with a wry smile, one that he mimics soon after.
I pull him in and kiss him, seizing the opportunity to deepen the kiss when his lips part, and throwing my arms around his neck to hold him to me as he takes control. His arm hooks around my waist before he pushes forward, puts a knee to the bed, and eases me back onto the mattress.
“I take it . . . that’s a . . . yes?” I pant between kisses.
“Fuck yeah it is. And now I have to get my pre-workout completed in an entirely different way.”
“You can use me to warm up any day. In fact, I vote . . . you start . . . every day . . . like this . . .” His hips grind against me, his fingers linking with mine and pinning my hands above my head as he devours my mouth like a man consumed.
“Every day . . . every way . . .”
Making lemonade. Best impromptu decision ever.
***
An hour and post one warm-up sex session later, Bruno and I are walking into the Daily Burn gym, the one known around town for being the place to go if you’re serious about what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. That means that Bruno doesn’t come here to exercise; he comes here to work out.
And if I was looking forward to it before, now I can’t wait.
I’m almost giddy and must not do a good job of hiding it because Bruno gives my hand a squeeze and grins down at me.
“It’s lucky you gave it to me already this morning otherwise I might not be able to control myself around you once you get started,” I whisper. He laughs and shakes his head at me, turning to the receptionist and paying for a guest pass for me.
Swiping his membership card, he walks through the doors and shoots an amused glance over his shoulder. “Keep it up and we’ll be having an entirely different kind of workout, and I don’t care who knows about it.”
I swear I have a mini orgasm just from the heated look he’s giving me. “Stop it,” I breathe, trying to get my body under control.
Letting go of my hand, he grabs the towel draped over his shoulder, and leads me towards the gym equipment. “Behave, Gabs. We’re here to build up a sweat.”
One hard and fast kiss and a gentle tap on my spandex-covered ass later, I’m watching his ass while he walks over towards the weights. I step onto the treadmill and turn it on, starting on a slow jog and finding myself with a perfect view of Bruno lying on his back on a weight bench, his muscular legs spread wide, his bulging arms reaching up to grab hold of a barbell and slowly lowering it to his chest.
We go on like this for half an hour. Me increasing the pace until I’m hitting my stride, two miles in, my full attention focused on my man moving from machine to machine, working his legs, his arms, before dropping to the mats in front of wall-to-wall mirrors and starting a set of push-ups. I lose count at fifty.
“Hey, is this one taken?” a voice asks from beside me.
I turn my head, not slowing for a second to see a guy not a day over twenty stepping onto the machine beside me. His puffed out chest and tight tank top tell me all I need to know about the type of guy he is—a wannabe college jock. He thinks his shit doesn’t stink and has decided to make a play for the ‘fresh meat’ at the gym, that being me.
I bite my lip, shaking my head and try not to laugh at him. I wave my hand out, giving him the go-ahead, and return my attention to the much more enjoyable scene in front of me. A sweat-covered Bruno in workout shorts and a loose sleeveless T-shirt, with taut calves, and biceps bulging with every dip and lift. Is this what heaven is like? Who needs a spank bank when I’ve got my own personal show right in front of me?
My eyes glaze over, my body humming in anticipation of our planned post-workout activities, my mind running over all the ways we can incorporate push-ups.
He looks up, his eyes flicking to the grunting guy beside me before burning into mine in the mirror. He grins wickedly as he lowers himself down and back up again, not breaking our gaze once and giving me mini orgasm number two for the day.
“I want you,” I mouth, and I swear he growls.
Pleased with myself for getting him as amped up as I am, I look around the room and see a group of guys gathered at the front desk. They’re all tall and lean, definitely older than most of the college kids who seem to make up the majority of the gym’s membership. Thinking nothing more of it, I look down to the monitor to see I’m nearing the end of my five miles. I reduce the speed, slowing my pace and starting my cool-down.
A laugh snaps me out of my arousal. It’s then I turn my head back towards the gym’s front door and come face-to-face with Luke Williams.
Dirty blond tousled hair, piercing blue eyes as light as the sky on a California day, and a square jaw framing that smirk girls in college had to fight not to cream themselves over. The man I thought would be mine till the day I died. The single reason why I swore never to let myself be vulnerable with a man every again.
That Luke. My Luke. The man I haven’t seen in more than six years.
I misstep and trip, grabbing hold of the bar to catch myself.
“Hey, are you alright?” the young upstart beside me asks, but his voice fades into insignificance.
My eyes jerk to Bruno, his brows bunched and his gaze narrowed on mine. I press stop on the machine and jump off, my heart now racing at a million miles an hour for an entirely different reason. The only thing going through my head is how I can escape.
With that sixth sense of his, Bruno must sense my panic as he stands and moves my way. I’m too far gone though, grabbing my drink bottle, towel, and phone, and scanning the room for the nearest exit.
Thankfully I spot a fire door not twenty feet away from me on the side of the building, and without another thought I rush to it, push it open, ignoring the alarm as I run outside.
Halfway across the parking lot, I hear the door alarm go off again.
“Gaby,” Bruno calls out.
I turn around and look at him. My heart is in my throat, my chest seizing up, making it near impossible to breathe. “I’ve gotta go.”
“What happened?” he says, getting closer.
I can’t talk to him about this, not now. Later, yes, but now, I need to get far, far away. Seeing my past and present almost collide is too much for me, and that fear I’ve fought for years is hitting me hard. All I want is a dark, quiet room and a bottle of tequila, or maybe two.
“I’ve got to go,” I repeat, and without another word, I spin on my heels and run down the street without a destination in mind.
Moments later, my phone buzzes in my hand. I see Bruno’s name flashing on the screen, and I know he’s worried but I can’t face him. I don’t wanna face anyone except Kenzie. Still running, I turn down Main Street and press one on my phone, quick-dialing my best friend and praying I’m not interrupting anything.
I bring the phone to my ear and hear her answer. “Hey Gabs. What’s—”
“Can I come over?” I pant, looking over my shoulder, half expecting to see Bruno coming after me. Seeing the coast is clear, I slow to a jog.
“Sure. What’s wrong?”
“I . . .” I swallow hard, struggling to push down the lump in my throat. “I just saw Luke at the gym.”
“What? He’s back?”
“He doesn’t know,” I whisper.
“He doesn’t know what?”
“Anything about Luke . . .”
“So you’re running?” she asks, deadpan.
“Yeah. I saw him and ran. You’re probably gonna get a call from Bruno. I left him there.”
“G
abs…”
“Can you hide me until I’m due at work?”
“I’ll hide you during work if you need me to,” she replies without any hesitation.
This is why I love my best friend. “I’ll be there in five minutes.”
“And what do I tell Bruno?”
“Tell him I’ll see him at work later.”
“Gabs . . .”
“Kenz, I need you to do this. We were at the gym and Luke walked in. I’m not sure he saw me but I made a bit of a scene when I left. He probably saw Bruno come after me and me running away. So yeah . . .”
“Okay,” she says, not hiding her concern. “See you soon.”
Ending the call, I speed back up.
I have no coping mechanism for this. I never expected to see Luke again, let alone in the same room as the man I’ve just invited to move in with me. Having my past and present collide was not something I anticipated. I’ve managed to avoid Luke for six years. Why did he have to come back now?
As I turn the corner into Kenzie’s street there’s only one thing going through my head.
Clusterfuck my friend. Nice to see you again.
Chapter 15
The door opens as I stumble up Kenzie’s front steps. Millen stands in the frame, his face filled with concern.
“You want help walking?” he asks, a gentle smile on his face.
“I think I’m gonna need a wheelchair at this rate,” I reply, moving by him and into the kitchen where a frowning Kenzie is waiting, holding a huge glass of water out for me. I drop my stuff on the counter and take the drink from her, lift it to my mouth, and down it all in one go.
“That bad?” she asks, raising a brow.
“That should’ve been tequila, or whiskey, or something a hell of a lot stronger than water,” I spit out between heavy breaths, willing my body to calm the fuck down.
“Shower or talking first? Or shower while talking? What do you need?”
“I need a time machine so I can go back sixteen years and erase ever meeting Luke Williams. Then I want to fast forward to now and not be such a basket case for Bruno. Can you arrange that?” I ask with a half-smile. “Cause I’m all out of other ideas.”
“Well as your boss, I should discourage you from drinking before noon when you have a shift starting at three.” Her sympathetic eyes shift from me to Millen and back again. “But as your best friend, I should be handing you a bottle, not a glass.”
I sigh and drop down to sit on the bar stool beside me, resigned to the fact that drinking will not help me right now. “Why is he back?” I whisper. “Why now?”
Kenzie rounds the counter and takes the seat next to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “I don’t know. I didn’t think he’d ever come back.”
“I asked Bruno to move in with me today.”
She jerks back and stares at me, her face slack. “Say what now?”
“His lease is up. He was going to look for a new place . . .” I look down at the empty glass in my hand and shrug. “It just happened. Spur-of-the-moment decision. It makes sense, right?” I reply, glancing up at her.
“Do you want him to move in with you?” Millen asks, walking over to join us. “It’s not something that just happens. It does, but does it happen to you?”
“I want him to. I mean . . .” I think back to this morning and how it felt right. It felt like the next step. “I do want him to.”
“So why does your ex turning up change anything?” Millen asks.
I look at him as if he’s slapped me in the face with a wet fish when in fact, he just dived right in and hit the nail on the head.
“This is the man who left Gaby two days before her wedding six years ago. The man who lied to her for months and hid a drug problem, fucking up his career, his life, and Gaby’s life right along with it,” Kenzie explains, matter-of-factly.
Millen’s brows rise. “Shit. I thought our story was complicated,” he says. I snort and see a small smile playing on Kenzie’s lips.
“Our story was complicated, but Gaby and Luke are in a league of their own.”
“And I’m guessing that Bruno doesn’t know anything about this?” Millen asks.
I scrub my face with my hands, link my fingers behind my head and drop it to rest on the counter.
“I haven’t gotten around to talking about it yet.”
“Gaby . . .” Kenzie’s exasperated tone mimics exactly the way I’m feeling.
I turn to look at her. “I was getting there. I was going to tell him last night but just as I was about to, he decided to share some stuff with me.”
Kenzie reaches out and places her hand on mine. “Babe . . .”
“Has he called?” I ask, knowing the answer if the ten missed calls on my phone are anything to go by.
“Yeah. I told him you were having a freak-out—which you’re prone to do—and you’d see him at work and explain everything then. You’re gonna have to do that, you know.”
“I know.” I sigh. Talk about forcing my hand.
Millen tilts his head and draws his lower lip between his teeth. “He’s a good guy,” he says softly. “And he thinks the world of you, Gabs. You owe him an explanation.”
“I know,” I repeat, sitting up straight. “I’ll do it after our shift tonight.” I look between both of them, thankful for not only having Kenzie in my life for moments like this, but also Millen, for being here to offer a male’s perspective.
“Don’t you think you should maybe clear the air before your shift? I mean . . .” Kenzie looks at Millen, who shrugs. “Do I really want tension between my staff all night?”
“I’ll see him when he arrives and I’ll make sure everything is fine. But until then, can we just pretend that I’m in an impenetrable bubble where life can’t touch me?”
Kenzie laughs and wraps her arm around my shoulder, pulling me in for a much-needed hug.
That’s when something catches my eye. I reach up and grab her hand, bringing it closer to my face to get a better look.
“What is that?” I ask, looking to Millen, who now has a huge shit-eating grin on his face.
“I staked my claim,” he says simply, like it’s an every-other-day occurrence.
I snap my eyes sideways to my best friend, who is sitting there smiling with a tear falling down her cheek and a beaming smile on her face. “Oh my god, babe. Here am I, rocking up without warning and ruining all your engagement celebration sex.” I give her a big tight hug and stand, moving to grab my things off the counter. “I’ll just go and leave you guys to it.”
Millen chuckles and shakes his head at me while Kenzie reaches out and puts her hand on my arm. “Our house is your house, Gabs. I jumped him a second after he asked so we’re good,” she says, her eyes dancing with amusement. “But let’s get you into the shower ‘cause honestly, I love you but you smell like a woman who’s just run ten miles.”
A giggle escapes my lips and once it happens, I can’t stop. Kenzie joins me, and we both move towards the hall and down to the bathroom.
She steps back when we reach the doorway. “I’ll get you some clothes, and then we’ll binge watch something totally ridiculous to take your mind off everything while Millen acts as our personal chef and makes us lunch. Then we’ll go to work, you’ll get through your shift, and then you can decide what to tell Bruno because whatever happens, it’s your story to tell and you get to decide how much of it you want to share. But you do need to share, Gabs. Millen is right—you need to tell Bruno something.”
“I know. But why now, Kenz?” I whisper. “Why wait six years?”
“We’ll worry about that tomorrow. Today, let’s worry about getting your head on straight so you can work your shift and sort out whatever you need to sort out with Bruno. Tomorrow, we’ll deal with the subject of Luke Williams. Okay?”
Tears sting my eyes, the dam finally breaking. Kenzie wraps her arms around me and pulls me in for a tight hug, holding on
while I let it all out.
A few minutes later, I’ve collected myself enough to step back. Biting my lip, I look up at her. “Shower, mindless TV, and food,” I state, and she nods, giving me a lopsided grin.
“Go sort yourself out, and we’ll be here when you’re done.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, and her face gentles.
“Always, Gabs. Forever, wherever, whenever. We’ll get you through this. Now, go. You smell.”
I poke my tongue out at her and give her a half-grin before stepping into the bathroom and closing the door. I turn the shower on then walk over to the vanity, bracing my hands on the counter and staring at myself in the mirror.
I look a sight. Hair escapes my ponytail, and I have flushed cheeks, red-rimmed eyes, and a swollen bottom lip from constant biting. I need to pull myself together. I also need to sort my head out so that I can do what I should’ve done a long time ago: get closure with Luke and give Bruno an overdue explanation about why I’ve been holding him at arm’s length.
Bruno deserves the truth. I deserve a free and easy chance at happiness without any baggage from my past dragging me down.
The first step is a shower though, because Kenzie was right. I stink.
***
Bruno watches me all night. It’s comforting, but my stomach is still tied in knots.
When I arrived at work, I told Bruno we’d talk later. I’ve felt his gaze on me all night. It’s comforting, but my stomach is still tied in knots.
Now, it’s after closing, Bruno has shut the doors, and one look from me to Kenzie has her tilting her head towards the back, letting me know to go do what I have to do.
Standing at the end of the bar, I watch Bruno walk across the room toward me. As soon as he’s within touching distance, I’m tangling my fingers with his and leading him down the hallway and upstairs onto the roof of the building.
I let go of his hand and walk over to the railing at the edge, facing the street. Looking up to the dark night sky, I take a deep breath, the words I want—no, need to say, formulating in my brain. As I expected, Bruno’s body cloaks my back, his arms wrapping around my waist and pulling me. “Baby, you’re worrying me.”
