by BJ Harvey
“Gaby, this is me telling you I wanna be the last man you’ll ever want and need. This is me telling the world that I love you and want my ring on your finger and yours on mine.”
I look up, scanning the room for Kenzie who’s standing off to the side. Her eyes are glued on me, her hand covering her mouth. I silently plead with her, hoping she’ll save me from making this into a scene no one wants to see—one where I break a man’s heart and cut him off at the knees with a rejection we can never come back from.
She shakes her head ever so slightly. I read it straight away. My heart pounds, my lungs seize, and my throat tightens until it’s damn near shut. I can’t do this here. I can’t do this anywhere, but definitely not in front of all of my family and friends.
My entire body is shaking and to anyone else, I’m sure it looks like I’m simply overcome with emotion. I am, just not the right one for this moment.
Reaching out, Bruno takes my right hand and laces his fingers with mine, his pleading eyes boring into me.
It must seem inevitable.
Surprise party? Check.
Family, friends—everyone close to us? Check.
The man I’m living with? Check.
The man I love pledging his life to me? Apparently so.
But despite the deafening silence in the room, every cell in my body is screaming at me to run and hide.
Then, as if in a moment of clarity, I hatch an escape plan, a way to save face and shield Bruno from the humiliation of a no when the only answer he wants to hear is a yes.
I’ll explain later, when we’re at home and alone and I can make him understand that everything is fine between us without that.
With one last glance at Kenz, I look down at Bruno.
I swallow hard, suffocating on the word threatening to catch in my throat. I hope he forgives me for this. He has to.
“Yes.” My voice is a rough whisper. His expression morphs into one of pure, unadulterated joy.
Amongst a roar of cheers and applause, he launches to his feet. He wraps his arms around me and lifts me up, swinging my body from side to side before crashing his lips to mine and kissing the living shit out of me. I kiss him back, holding on tight and pouring everything I have into it. It’s all I can do in the moment—give him whatever I can so that when all is said and done, after I’ve ripped his heart out and stomped all over it, there’ll be a slim chance he’ll still believe me when I say I love him.
When I tell him I can’t possibly marry him, but still want to be with him.
Stranger things have happened, right?
He lowers me down to my feet, grabbing hold of my hand and sliding the diamond ring onto my finger. It’s stunning, and despite resenting the institution of marriage, there’s no way I can deny the beauty of his gift.
It’s just not for me.
My eyes burn with unshed tears as he puts his thumb under my chin and gently tilts my gaze to meet his. I register an unrecognizable female voice behind me. “I’m looking for Bruno Duncan.”
Bruno goes impossibly still, his attention locked over my shoulder.
I try to turn around to see what’s going on but his arms shoot out, his hands framing my shoulders. “Gaby, whatever’s about to happen, promise me you’ll let me explain,” he says roughly, his voice laced with a desperation I’ve never heard from him—or anyone—before.
“What’s going—”
“No! I’m not going until I speak to him,” the woman shouts.
I step out of Bruno’s reach and spin around just as the man himself moves past me and walks over to the front door and a stunning blonde woman. She’s not anyone I’ve seen before. She’s dressed nicely, her gold hair tied up in a high ponytail, her face perfectly made up. But she’s definitely not someone invited to the party. Not going by the way she’s dressed anyway. One hand is on her hip, and the other is gesticulating in the air to Millen, whose lips are moving but his words are not registering with me.
Bruno stops in front of them, his shoulders pulled back, and even from twenty feet away I can see he’s on alert. The blonde waves her arm toward me, and as much as I’d love to walk towards them, my lead feet would make that impossible right now.
Kenzie moves to my side and wraps an arm around my waist, having my back, side, and front, as always. “Who’s that?”
“You tell me and we’ll both know,” I mutter.
“You have to leave, Tate. This is a private event,” Bruno says, his voice of the ‘don’t fuck with me’ variety.
I still when I realize he called her by her name. He knows her.
“We need to talk, Bruno.”
“Not. Fucking. Here. And not tonight. Actually, not. fucking. ever, Tate.”
She looks over his shoulder to me, narrowing her eyes as they drop from my face to my ring finger. With a pale face she looks back at Bruno. The room goes deathly quiet, and I stand there, waiting with bated breath for whatever is about to happen next. “Well, isn’t that a nice way to speak to your wife and the mother of your child?”
And for the second time in my entire thirty-two years of life, my world stops spinning.
Chapter 19
When faced with another ‘worst moment of my life,’ I do what anyone in their right mind would do.
Thankful for wearing a dress with pockets—therefore eliminating the need for a purse—I’m able to run right out the door down the hallway leading to the back of the building and out the emergency exit—something which is becoming somewhat of a habit of late.
Finding myself outside in the warm evening air, I’m at a loss as to where to go or what to do. Everyone important to me is in the bar I left behind.
My mind whirls, and I’m unable to process what just happened.
Bruno—my Bruno—the man I’ve only recently come to terms with being in love with, the man I invited into my sanctuary to share my home and my life with—has been lying to me.
He’d worked hard to make me hope—for what exactly I’m no longer sure—but for the second time in my life, I’ve been humiliated by a man.
This . . . this is why I never hope for forever. With anyone.
I was so angry and cautious after what Luke put me through, but Bruno has certainly blindsided me with this.
Footsteps sound behind me making me freeze, my entire body turning to stone, a self-preservation measure I’m sure. The last thing I need—the last thing I could endure—is another hit right now.
“Take our rental,” Hamish says, wrapping his arms around my waist. I turn to see James beside him. Hamish ushers me forward towards a black Toyota at the edge of the car park and beeps the locks, throwing the car key over the roof to James who’s standing on the driver’s side.
I turn to face him, my tear-filled eyes lifting to his. “Mish . . .” I choke out.
He pulls me in and squeezes me tightly, gently kissing my temple and holding me there. “James is taking you to a hotel. No one except us and Kenzie will know where you are unless you tell them. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“I . . . I don’t know what I’m doing,” I whisper, shock giving away to despair.
Hamish steps back but doesn’t let me go, dipping his head, his gaze soft, his lips firm. My breath catches at his concerned expression. God, I love my brother. “Don’t think about anything other than getting somewhere you feel safe to let go. You don’t owe anyone one damn thing right now, so let James take care of you until I can play big brother, okay?” He tilts his head towards the bar. “I’ll deal with inside. Millen and I already had to physically stop Bruno from coming out here after you.”
Wow. I’ve never seen my brother get physical with anyone. Millen? I can definitely see that. He protects those he cares about without abandon.
“You have to do whatever you have to do. Everyone understands. Everyone who’s been with you for a while really understands. But you’ve gotta go now otherwise Bruno will probably do something he regrets
—again—to get to you.”
“What did he do?” I gasp.
“Let’s just say it’s lucky Millen can dodge a right hook when it’s coming from a man Bruno’s strength.”
Hearing Bruno’s name again breaks me.
“Why would he do that to me?” I ask, my eyes blurring as the tears start to fall. I bury my face in my brother’s chest.
“I’ll be there soon. It’ll all work out, short stuff. It always does.” His fingers stroke my hair, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be than in my big brother’s protective arms. “It’ll all work out.”
I lift my head and stare at him disbelievingly. “I don’t see how. The universe just reminded me why I’m never going to get married. It’s as simple as that.”
“Gabs—”
“We better go,” I reply, stopping Hamish from saying anything I’m not capable of hearing at this moment in time. I drop down into the passenger seat, and stare blankly ahead. Hamish reaches in and gives my shoulder a gentle squeeze.
“I’ll take care of everything and be there soon,” he says before shutting the door.
Moments later, James is pulling out of the parking spot and driving me away from yet another humiliating milestone I won’t be forgetting anytime soon.
An hour later, I’ve turned my phone off. The constant calls and texts from Kenzie and my other friends from the bar overwhelming me to the point where I almost have a panic attack. James has been wonderful, ushering me up to a hotel room and telling me he was gonna go down to the bar and wait for Hamish in order to give me some space. That left me sitting alone in the middle of a huge bed in an empty room, staring at the blank television screen.
I wring my hands together and feel the ring rub against my fingers. I stare down at it, the metal feeling like a noose around my neck, a reminder of the humiliation I feel.
Bruno has a wife—a wife and a kid. What kind of man hides that? What kind of man lies about that?
A lie of omission is a lie nonetheless.
He said he walked away from his family. I never took that to mean a wife and child. Even when I told him about my history with Luke, not once did he mention previously being married himself. And that woman said ‘wife’ not ‘ex-wife.’
Yet again, I lost myself in a relationship and never thought to question why it was so easy to do.
A surge of anger rolls through me and in a fit of rage, I rip the ring off my finger and walk over to the window, wrenching the frame open and throwing my arm back to pitch it out into the night. But something stops me. Instead, I walk toward the bed and place the ring on the nightstand. I’ll throw it back to Bruno when I next seem him because I know that a confrontation is inevitable. He’s not a man to back down, and I’m known to pitch a fit. Whenever it does happen, it’s definitely going to be explosive.
Needing to wash the night away, I move into the bathroom and strip off my clothes, turning the shower onto hot and stepping inside. Dropping down against the tiled wall, I sit and hug my legs, putting my forehead to my knees and letting the water course over me. I let the tears I’ve been trying so hard to hold in free, reliving a nightmare I only just survived the first time.
Much like the last time I found myself in a devastating situation like this, Kenzie discovers me shivering and wrinkled, still cowering under the water twenty minutes later. Her eyes are soft, her brow is furrowed, and concern is written all over her face.
She gets me out, helps me get dressed, and leads me to the king-sized bed. After pulling back the covers, she crawls in behind me. When she wraps her arms around my waist, I finally let go and relax, escaping reality when I finally fall asleep.
A few hours later I jolt awake, the scene from earlier playing out in my dreams yet again. There’s still warmth at my back but the hold is stronger. I turn my head and meet Hamish’s gentle gaze.
Hamish has been my rock since the moment I was born. He’s my person, and not just because he’s my brother. He’s been by my side through everything—including the shit show from Luke—and he’s never failed to catch me when I fall. Any man wanting to be with me has a tall order to fill in meeting the high standards my father and brother have set in the man department. Bruno has been the only one to come close since Luke . . . until today that is.
“Where’s Kenz?” I ask sleepily.
“She left a little while ago to get you some clothes and stuff from your place. She’ll be back soon,” he says, kissing my temple.
“Where is he?” I ask, unsure why I want to know. Stupid Gaby, still caring.
“He’s with Millen. They took him to Mark’s place to stop him ripping the town apart looking for you.”
“That really happened, didn’t it? I’m not just having a bad dream where I’ve teleported into a parallel universe?”
Hamish’s face softens. “Unfortunately not.”
My eyes sting. I don’t want to cry again.
“I didn’t want to say yes,” I whisper, my confession so quiet I almost hope he doesn’t hear me. But he does. Of course he does.
He tightens his arms around me. “You didn’t want to make a scene?”
“Or more of one.”
“You could’ve said you needed time.”
“Time isn’t the answer, Mish. You know that.”
“Neither is saying yes instead of no.” Trust Hamish to be Captain Obvious.
“It’s kind of a moot point,” I snark. “By the sounds of things he couldn’t marry me anyway, even if I wanted to.”
“He’s not Luke, you know.”
Funny—didn’t Kenzie say the same thing to me months ago? “Luke is Luke, and Bruno is Bruno, but that doesn’t mean I’ve changed my mind about getting married. And tonight just proved why it’s not in my destiny. I should never have hoped for anything. Not now. Not ever again.”
Another wave of anger surges through me. There’s nowhere to run though. I’m stuck in a situation I never thought I’d be in. Hell, no one would ever expect to be in. I just falsely accepted a proposal from a man who’s perfect for me in every way possible. I shouldn’t have done that, not again. It doesn’t matter how good and trustworthy and reliable he is. Or I thought he was.
Silence stretches between Hamish and me, the quiet hum of the air-conditioning the only sound in the room.
“He makes me stupid,” I murmur, the words rushing out. “He makes me crazy. He can drive me up the wall, then pull me back from the brink in the very next breath.”
Hamish lies there, saying nothing. He doesn’t need to. He’s had enough experience with this to know I’m someone who has to get it all out.
I pause to take a much-needed breath, the break in my thoughts giving way to the good things, the ‘Bruno effect.’ “This burns, Mish. It’s almost worse than with Luke because this is not just a small thing. It’s fucking huge. Like, Mount Everest-level huge.” I swallow down the choking lump in my throat, my voice breaking. “Insurmountable.”
Mentally worn out, I stare at the alarm clock on the opposite side of the bed, wrapping my arms around my brother’s as if they’re the only thing holding me together. “He made me promise to let him explain.” I take a deep breath, my chest tightening as I exhale.
“And will you?”
I know I should, but today my perfect perception of Bruno has been shattered. He failed spectacularly and has now made sure that my birthday will no longer be filled with good memories for me. It wasn’t by proposing—although he knew my opinion on the matter—but by doing the one thing I said was a deal breaker.
Lying.
Right now, the only thing I want to do is tap out.
I’m done.
Chapter 20
After two days of hiding out, my phone staying off, I decide it’s time to face the music—so to speak—and return to the land of the living. I’d called my parents the day after the party and Mom had come to visit me at the hotel, holding me in her arms as I broke down once more.
Having received a text from Kenzie a few hours ago telling me the coast is clear and confirming that Bruno’s truck has been at Mark’s all night, I pull on my big-girl panties and catch a cab home.
When Kenzie came to see me yesterday, she thankfully took pity on me and gave me a few days off work, but made it clear that she couldn’t exactly fire Bruno for being a lying asshole so I’d have to prepare myself to face him at the bar sooner rather than later.
I take a deep breath before walking into my condo, not sure if I’m hoping Bruno has been and gone or whether I want his clothes to still be in my closet and his toothbrush to still be in my bathroom. I’m looking for any sign that he just hasn’t vanished into thin air like someone did the last time my love life imploded.
I place my overnight bag on the ground by the kitchen counter and look around the room, not noticing anything out of the ordinary. But nothing is normal in my life right now.
Things are so confusing and heartbreaking. I’ve been delivered a giant ‘fuck you’ from the universe. Who knows where he stands? All I know is that I’m straddling the line of stay or go. The only thing keeping me from shifting completely into the ‘go’ column is his plea for the chance to explain.
I walk into my bedroom and lie down on the bed. Staring up at the ceiling, I contemplate what I did to piss Cupid off.
I’m not saying things with Bruno and I are finished, but they’re definitely not sunshine and rainbows. I don’t even know if they’re semi-good. I can’t know anything until he explains why he lied to me . . . for months.
My phone vibrates in my hand, and I lift it up so I can see the screen. Bruno’s name stares back at me. I take a deep breath, not sure if what I’m about to read will be good for my emotional wellbeing to read it. I open his text message.
Bruno: I’m at the airport, about to board a flight to Indianapolis. I want to sort everything out and make sure Tate is telling the truth. I also want to give you space because your radio silence is telling me you need that. It may hurt to stay away but I’ll give you anything you need if it means I’ll get the chance to explain when I get back. Love you always.
