by D. Breeze
Chapter Nineteen
Ruben
The anger pulsing through my veins seemed to be anchored to my heart and I couldn’t shake it. Lydia seemed to be stuck on auto-pilot as I dried her off and gave her clothes to put on, but each word she said was lashing at my skin. She was so trapped in her mind that she hadn’t even realised she’d announced that we were having a baby. My heart leapt.
My own brother, my flesh and blood, I couldn’t believe the things he’d said to her.
Of course, he wasn’t exactly known for being the most diplomatic of people, but that was just uncalled for. What made it worse was that he hadn’t apologised. He stood there and let me shout at him, but didn’t once say he was sorry.
I lay down next to Lydia and linked our fingers.
“So,” I started. “We’re having a baby?”
She bit her lip and nodded her head. You could tell she was happy about it, but worried about my reaction. She shouldn’t have been.
“You happy about it, love?” Lip still captured between her teeth, she nodded slower, nervously. I smiled and whispered, “We’re going to have a baby.”
I could be pissed that she hadn’t told me straight away. I could be even more pissed that my family knew before I did. But what was the point?
She was back, she was safe and we could work on getting her to place where she could be happy with us.
As a family.
As a unit.
The thought of being a dad didn’t scare me, not even slightly. I actually wanted to jump from the bed, beat my chest with my fists and drag Lydia to my cave...figured that would be a tiny bit odd though, so I just lay there staring into her eyes.
“You...? Um, you’re happy too? We’re young, Ruben and we’re not married yet.”
“Oh yeah. Damn right, I’m happy. We’re not married, but we’re engaged, it’s not like I didn’t already want to spend the rest of my life with you. We always wanted kids, so we’ve started earlier than we expected, it just means we can have more!” I joked.
She giggled. Jesus, I loved that sound. “Yeah, maybe not. I know you’d have me birthing a football team, but that’s not going to happen.”
A thought suddenly occurred to me and I turned serious.
“Do you think we should go to the hospital?” I asked.
She frowned at me. “Why?”
“You’ve been through a lot today, emotionally and physically, maybe you should get checked out, make sure you and the baby are ok?”
She smiled and her eyes lit up and I knew then that she really believed I was happy about our baby.
“No, I’m fine. I’m sure the baby is fine, but I have an appointment with a midwife tomorrow anyway.” She grinned and I could see the real excitement in her eyes. This is what she wanted, what she’d always wanted, this kid would be the luckiest kid in the whole damn world to have her as a mother.
I couldn’t help but ask, “So, um, how long have you, um...”
“Only since yesterday. I wouldn’t have hidden it from you Ruben, I promise. I was just getting my head around it first and things between us are not good, I just...I wanted it to be a happy occasion.”
I understood what she meant and honestly, I knew she wouldn’t have kept the baby a secret for long, even if she was refusing to talk to me at the time.
“So we have an appointment with the midwife tomorrow?”
“Yes...” She went on to explain everything that would happen and that she’d be having an ultrasound during the appointment because she had no idea how far along she was.
“How do you even know this? It’s not like you’ve done it before.” I raised an eyebrow, she seemed to be an expert.
She blushed. “I may or may not have spent the last twenty four hours reading every page I could find on pregnancy, on the internet.”
I laughed and pulled her closer, kissing her forehead and breathing her in.
My girl was in my bed, for the first time ever.
In my home.
In my arms.
My girl was back.
But I still had something I needed to say.
“Don’t just forgive me though, Lydia. I know what you’re doing by twisting everything and make it partly your fault, but that’s not true. Everything about this is on me and you wouldn’t have been so cautious about asking me things if I hadn’t have hidden my life from you to begin with. But I swear to you, right down to my soul, I’ll be nothing but honest from now on...even if you ask me if your butt looks big!” She laughed and pinched the skin over my ribs lightly.
“My butt never looks big!” She scoffed, not really offended.
“I know. But you need to know that I mean it. I will never, ever lie to you again.”
She looked into my eyes and squinted, studying me, gauging my truthfulness.
Laying her head back down, she spoke. “I’m not saying everything is going to be perfect, Ruben, because I don’t trust you completely. But I will. So at least we have somewhere to start.”
I couldn’t argue with that.
*~*~*
Lydia
I woke slowly in the morning, feeling smothered by the hard body surrounded me. I smiled and looked at the clock, then my eyes shot wide when I saw the time.
I never slept late. Ever.
I had been an early riser for as long as I could remember, and I had never had a full night’s sleep since I’d lived in London. So to say I was shocked when the clock read ten am, was an understatement.
I untangled my legs from Ruben, and slid out of the bed as quietly as I could. If the bags under his eyes were anything to go by, he hadn’t been sleeping well either. I rolled over the tops of the joggers I was wearing so that they didn’t fall down, and left the room.
I needed tea.
Even though it was Ruben’s home, I didn’t really feel comfortable walking around by myself but I started towards the lounge, assuming the kitchen would be next to it. I knew someone was awake because I could hear the TV in the lounge, but when I reached it, the room was empty.
I heard babbling from through the archway right in front of me, so I followed the noise.
I stood, fidgeting nervously. Jackson sat at the kitchen island, his beautiful daughter in the high-chair in front of him and although he was smiling at her, it didn’t reach the rest of his face.
I cleared my throat and his head shot up.
“Good morning, Jackson.” I whispered, and then bit my lip.
“Um, morning,” he muttered. He nodded his head towards the coffee machine in the corner. “That’s probably still hot enough if you want some.”
His lips twitch when he saw me cringe.
“Not a coffee drinker then?” I shook my head and walked to the kettle. Then I realised I didn’t know where anything else was.
“Um...”
“Mugs in the cupboard on the left, tea-bags and sugar are in the drawer in front of you, just push the middle of it and it’ll open automatically. Milk is in the fridge, which is to the right, behind the second cupboard; you have to push that too.” He explained, without me having to ask.
“Thank you.”
I made my way around the kitchen, feeling his eyes on me as I walked. He was assessing me, and even if he was somewhat of an utter fucking idiot the day before, I held my head high because I wanted to be good enough.
I made my tea and then panicked. I shouldn’t have panicked because it was nothing, but I didn’t know what to do with the used tea bag and I was so freaking nervous, that my hands were shaking.
I didn’t notice Jackson move until he reached around me, grabbed the tea-spoon I was holding, threw the tea bag in the bin under the island and put the spoon in the dishwasher.
I still didn’t move.
Get a grip, Lydia!
“You can sit down, you know. I’m pretty sure it’s safe.” Jackson said, sarcastically.
The real Lydia fought her way to the surface and snapped at him.
“Oh really? Sure
you’re not going to insult me again, or threaten to have my child taken from me?” I cringed when I finished. I was better than that.
He just stared at me until I sat down on a stool at the island, facing him. We squared off for a few beats, neither one of us willing to break eye contact or back down.
Eventually he sighed.
“I’m sorry, ok? I’m not very good at the apology thing, but here goes. I knew when I was saying them, that I shouldn’t have been saying the things I said to you. As much as I still believe some of them were...are...true, it’s not my place to get involved and I’m sorry. I hadn’t seen Ruben looking so shit in years and it affected me in ways that I didn’t think it would anymore, now that he’s an adult. But he’s my little brother, the baby of the bunch and I guess I still feel like I have to protect him. But that doesn’t mean I should have done what I did, and for that, I really am sorry.”
My lips turned up on their own and his eyes focused on my mouth.
“You’re not as bad at ‘the apology thing’ as you think. But what you failed to realise is that, I didn’t need your apology. You felt bad and you regret it, I already knew that because of how you looked last night. I’m not denying that some of the things you said, albeit harsh, were mainly true. But it’s Ruben that you should be apologising to because you should have trusted him to be able to handle this by himself because, like you said, he’s an adult. No, it wasn’t going well, but he would have found his way to get through to me because he has the skills to do that. I’m guessing, from the amount of love that is clearly covering every inch of this house, you taught him those skills.”
I could have been wrong, but I almost thought I saw Jackson blush! Big, bad-ass Jackson Brent...blushing!
He nodded, “You’re right. But you still deserve an apology because I know what I said hurt you. Maybe subconsciously, part of me really wanted to do just that. Thing is, I don’t doubt what you say; I have every faith that Ruben would have stalked you with his actions and words. He would have told you every day how much he loved you and how sorry he was and you would have eventually caved and forgiven him.”
He was right, I couldn’t deny that.
“But what about next time? He’ll fuck up again, so will you and it’s pretty damn clear to me that he’ll beg forgiveness and you’ll forget it ever happened, again. But when do you have to take responsibility for your own actions? That’s why I did what I did. You can’t keep blaming him for everything that goes wrong because it’s a relationship – it takes time, trust, togetherness and more than anything...compromise. I just think it’s something you both need to work on because, I know I don’t know you and I only have Ruben’s side to go on, but it doesn’t sound healthy.”
I shrugged. “Hate to break it to you ‘oh wise one’, but I’d already figured that out by myself.”
He blinked. Then blinked again and straightened from the island. “Well...good.”
I giggled. Not such a bad sort, I thought, definitely overprotective, and more than a little bit of a know-it-all. But not a bad guy.
Harley chose that moment to laugh along with me and seeing as Jackson had just given her a spoon full of baby rice, she sprayed it all over me. I stopped laughing and stared. I could feel the saliva soaked oats dripping down my face and see clumps in my fringe.
A rumbling noise sounded close to me and blinked up into Jackson’s face. As soon as our eyes met, his rumbling laugh turned into a full blown howl and he threw his head back. His shoulders bounced with his laughter, causing my eyes once again to be drawn to his arms. He might have been Ruben’s brother, but it didn’t mean I couldn’t look. There was no denying that he was hot, not my type, but still nice to look at.
He was too big, too brutal to be my type.
We sat for a while, as I tried to scrape the remaining oats off my face and hair. His laughter died down and he quickly pointed out that I had to get used to such scenes. Realistically, I knew this.
We were halfway through a conversation about fourteen year old Ruben, him telling me stories that I knew nothing about, when he eyes went to the archway and froze.
Chapter Twenty
Ruben
Waking up in a panic, is not a nice feeling. I reached for Lydia, only to find the spot where she had fallen asleep the night before was empty, and cold. She hadn’t been there in a while.
I jumped from the bed and raced to throw on some clothes. She could run, but I wouldn’t let her get away again. I jogged down the stairs and was heading towards the front door when Taylor caught my attention by waving at me. I stopped and frowned at her. She smiled, crooking her finger in a ‘come here’ gesture.
I didn’t have time to waste, but something told me I needed to do as she requested. When I reached the archway, she pointed into the kitchen. My heart tripped over itself and I bit my lip to hide my smile.
Lydia sat at the counter with my brother and Harley, giggling and smiling as if the day before hadn’t happened. The Lydia I knew; would have milked this drama for all it was worth and punished Jackson for weeks. The Lydia sitting mere feet away from me, looked like she didn’t have a care in the world. She blew a raspberry at Harley and had my niece wailing with laughter.
It was a beautiful sight.
Jackson and Lydia seemed locked in an intense conversation, but neither of them seemed upset or angry about it. Taylor put her hand on my arm and grinned up at me. I wasn’t sure that I shared her enthusiasm for this sudden change of events. Surely it was too good to be true, or was I just expecting the worst as always?
I heard Mason and Harper stomp down the stairs and immediately turned to hush them. I didn’t want anything to interrupt the scene in the kitchen. They joined us in the archway and shared knowing smiles.
I don’t think anyone wanted to move or even breathe too loud. We just watched.
Eventually, Jackson’s eyes met mine and he stopped talking. Lydia swivelled on her stool and her eyes widened like she’d been caught doing something wrong. If anything, I wanted to grab her, lay over my shoulder, take her back to my room and have my way with her...instantly. The rest of family probably wouldn’t appreciate that too much though, not that they were ever exactly quiet.
Instead, I walked into the room, wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her mouth. Hard.
I wanted to tell her how important it was to me that we managed to get past all the bullshit going on, and just...be.
She’d already done that and I was showing her grateful I was.
Taylor cleared her throat and pointed out that there were ‘little eyes’ in the room.
“Yeah, yeah. Morning Taylor, sorry for snapping at you last night.”
She barely acknowledged my apology but I knew she’d accepted it. She looked directly at Lydia, her gaze was assessing, but friendly.
“Everything ok this morning?” She asked.
Lydia nodded and smiled.
Nodding slowly, Taylor smiled back and shuffled over to Jackson, and told him she missed him last night.
“Right! Good, drama over. Few things though, firstly, I’m the main drama queen around here. As far as the whole ‘zoning out on the sofa’ thing went, you were pretty close to stealing my title. So honey, you’re going to have to find yourself a new title and tone it down a bit ok?” Harper started, addressing Lydia. I jumped in to defend her but Harper carried on. “Secondly, I really hope you guys are ok now, we’ve had more than our fair share of issues around here and it’d be nice to have some quiet for a change.” Jackson made a strangled sound in his throat that said the words ‘Harper’ and ‘quiet’ did not fit well in the same sentence. I whole heartedly agreed with him, but she was on a roll.
“Finally, for crying out loud Mason! If you do not stop drinking the milk straight from the carton, I’m going to ram that thing where the sun don’t shine!”
Mason froze in the act - the carton touching his lips and his eyes wide. He scowled and lowered it.
“Don’t start on me just bec
ause you realised you had nothing else to say! You don’t mind my tongue in your mouth, but you mind it around the milk carton? Come on, Harp, you can do better than that.”
Lydia was watching all of us with wide eyes and tilted lips. I was glad she found my crazy family amusing; would have been awkward if she didn’t.
Shocking the hell out of me, she stood up and starting speaking.
“Is it my turn yet?” She asked. Everyone stilled and went quiet. “Hi, I’m Lydia. Even if this is the third time we’ve all met, I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced. The first time, I couldn’t get a word in edgeways, the second...well...yeah. I’m sorry about last night. Honestly, I’m not usually quite that psycho.” I snorted and she sliced me with her eyes so I kept my thoughts to myself. She looked at Harper.
“You can keep your title, you have no competition from me. Frankly, all this drama is exhausting and seeing as I’m going to be carrying the newest Brent baby for the next seven or eight months, I just don’t need it.”
She looked individually at every person in the room like she was weighing up her options of what to say next.
“We have plenty of time to get to know each other now, so as much as I just love these speeches, maybe we could table them for a later date?” She plonked herself back down on a stool and started speaking in high-pitched tones to Harley.
We all looked at each other blank faced. There wasn’t really anything left to say.
“Coffee, anyone?” Mase asked, breaking the silence.
Lydia grimaced and shared a grin with Jackson. I didn’t know what that was about, but I liked it.
The voices grew louder around me, but I was locked in a trance staring at my girl. For years, this was what I’d wanted. Her, here in my home, with my family, a part of everything.
I’d never been that happy.
“Still on for shopping today, Harp?” Taylor asked, Harper nodded and looked to Lydia.
“You up for it? Think your man will let you out of his sight for a while?”
