“His appetite is just like mine. Wow, sweetheart, that’s my son in there.” He sounded in awe.
“Yes, of course, he is. He’s going to be just as handsome and smart as you are. Aren’t you my little son?” I asked, talking to my belly.
The baby moved again, pushing out on my stomach and then causing a little ripple on my skin. Alec stared, his mouth hanging open.
“Do you think he hears and understands us? It can’t be a coincidence that he moves around when we talk to him.”
“I’m not sure but I know he recognizes our voices and loves the sound. He really moves when he hears your voice, especially when you are gone for a while and return. He knows his Daddy already,” I responded.
Alec looked pleased. I lay my head down on his shoulder and fell asleep, taking a long nap. I awakened later, alone on the couch, my head on a pillow and covered with a blanket. I sat up, blinking my eyes and looking for Alec. I saw him on the back patio, using the grill.
I opened the doors and walked out, the fresh air and afternoon sunshine greeting me.
“Hi darling, how was your nap?” Alec asked me, flipping burgers on the grill.
I looked at the meat, surprised. “Where did you get beef?”
He smiled. “I got lucky. It’s good for you to have the iron. I hope you like these.”
“It smells wonderful. I’m sure they will taste great. Are they done yet?” I asked, hopeful.
He laughed. “Yes, right now. Let’s go inside.”
The burgers were amazing. We hadn’t had beef in a long time. I ate two, rubbing my full belly when I was done. Alec ate more than I did.
Another week passed, calm and without incident. I felt better. The break-in must have been a fluke. We hadn’t seen any signs of tampering with the locks or anyone suspicious. Alec told me to forget about it, probably some random person that was hungry and looking for shelter. They might have thought the house was empty since it was dark.
Alec and I relaxed, letting our guard down. We settled into our routine, blissful and excited about the baby. We should have been more cautious. I should have made Alec investigate the intruder further but hindsight is twenty/twenty so they say. And the error would not be realized until much later…
Chapter Seventeen
It would be weeks before I felt any danger or threat. Donnovan had a knack for finding me alone. It was not often that I ventured out without Alec by my side. The only thing that made sense was that he watched me, which was incredibly creepy.
“Hello Elizabeth.”
This time I was exiting the library, my arms full of books. Jumping, I dropped every one onto the ground. Donnovan gallantly scooped them up and held them, perusing the titles.
“I’ll take those back,” I told him, extending my hand.
“Interesting choices. The baby books are obvious. I didn’t take you for a classic lit fan.”
He shuffled the books under one arm and took my hand, pulling me along the sidewalk. Quickly he scanned the street and then crossed, dragging me into the coffee shop. I yanked my hand out of his, trying to reach for my books.
“I’d like some coffee. What would you like? Milk? Juice? A cup of tea?”
I stared at his retreating back and sat at a table, having little choice. He returned after a few minutes, setting down a tray of snack sandwiches, muffins, and a fruit cup. Setting down a cup of hot tea in front of me, he sat to my right.
“I thought you might be hungry. Please eat something.” He offered smiling.
I was getting hungry. I took a muffin and nibbled on it.
“You look radiant Elizabeth. How is Alec treating you?” He asked, an obvious attempt at small talk.
I raised an eyebrow. “Fine. Alec and I are always good.”
“Great. I’m glad to hear it.”
I wondered if that was true. He was smiling. Acting normal. He seemed sincere. Somehow, I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Donnovan cleared his throat. “Can I trust you Elizabeth?”
Was he serious? “Yes, I don’t see why you should though. We don’t know each other that well.”
He nodded. “I thought you would say something like that. It’s precisely why I believe that I can trust you.”
Huh, I thought. He really was different. I sensed it this time.
“I need help. I’ve been brainwashed…by the militia.”
If he landed a bomb on my head, I would not have been more surprised.
“Who have you told about this?” I asked, suddenly serious.
“Not a soul. Until now.”
He looked directly into my eyes without blinking. I believed him.
“I don’t know how I can help you.” I admitted.
“I want you to help me escape the militia.”
I sat back, dumbfounded. The shoe finally dropped.
“Why do you think I can do that?” I asked.
“Because I finally figured out who you are. I finally remembered, once all their drugs left my system, where I had met you. It was driving me crazy before. My mind is clear now,” he explained, issuing another grin.
“Who am I?” I asked softly.
He leaned forward and glanced around. “Now that is a complicated question. I’ll start with what I know. You were there that night. The night the refugees bombed all those trucks. You’re part of the rebels. A radical.”
I paled. I had been dreading this moment for months. Sighing I met his gaze.
“I was, yes,” I admitted.
There was no point in lying. He knew the truth. My brain was screaming at me to deny it but I could not.
He sat back in the chair and relaxed. “I’m not crazy then.”
I looked at him questioningly. That was debatable.
“All this time, with the drugs running through my system, I thought I was hallucinating the whole experience.”
I smiled. “You might be a little crazy.”
He laughed, a carefree and happy chuckle that made me grin.
“I knew…that I could not hallucinate a woman as beautiful as you.”
His face was suddenly serious. His hand covered mine. “I really am sorry, for every way I acted. I was not myself.”
“I forgive you,” I whispered.
He looked relieved. “Thank you.”
“When did you realize you were being brainwashed?” I asked, the thought occurring to me.
“Before the bakery, when I spotted you coming out. I realized I had been drawn to you but I did not understand why. Now I know. It was because of the subliminal messages and the drugs.”
“What messages?”
“During the night when we sleep, they pump messages into your room, hidden under the guise of soft music, and they plant ideas. They put thoughts in your head. Things you would never act upon or think otherwise. I was led to pursue you.”
“Why?” I asked.
“I asked myself the same question. I’ve been trying to figure it out for months. It has to something to do with Alec. They are watching him. He is resistant to their plans. I don’t think they trust him.”
“But what does that have to do with me?”
“I’m not sure. Maybe they know more about you than anyone has led on. I know the messages were specific. I was supposed to think you were a traitor, a liar, and other things I can’t mention.”
“Is it really bad?” I asked, afraid.
“I was supposed to find you so attractive that I would take you by force. That I would try to rape you Elizabeth. Who puts those kinds of ideas in somebody’s head?”
He was clearly distraught. I reached across the table and held his hand.
“It wasn’t you Michael. Remember that.”
“Remember? All I do is think of you. I’m going crazy with wanting you!” He exclaimed.
I nearly jumped at the amount of emotion in his voice. He buried his face in his hands, embarrassed.
“Is it the messages?” I asked.
He shook his head. “I
t used to be. Now I don’t know. I don’t know why I can’t get you out of my head.”
He looked miserable. I didn’t know what to say or do. It almost made me feel guilty and I was not the one responsible. There was someone out there engineering this propaganda, planting these messages and desires, and trying to tear people apart. But to what gain? These were militia soldiers. Not the enemy. None of this was making any sense.
He sighed. “I didn’t mean to take my frustration out on you.”
“You aren’t. I can’t imagine what you are going through.”
“Perhaps not but I do think you are the only one who can help me escape from here.”
It was my turn to sigh. Trusting me was futile. I had no way to help him.
“Why do you think that? I no longer communicate with anyone. I left them because my leader tried to kill me Michael,” I admitted, truly confused.
“I don’t have the answer to that. I just believe that you are going to help me.”
He seemed certain of it. There was not a doubt in his mind.
“I should talk to Alec.”
“If you must but I would caution you against talking anywhere in your house. It is probably bugged. Mine was. That’s how I figured out the brainwashing.”
Shocked, I stared at him. If that was true then they knew everything. And I mean everything.
“Will you meet us tonight? I don’t think we should wait. There’s too much at stake.”
He nodded. “At the local bar, The Tap, tonight at eight. I’ll save a table. Don’t be late.”
He was teasing. I guessed that having so much lifted off your chest probably helped a person to relax a little. We finished our refreshments and I returned home, hoping that I was not right. Paranoia set in the moment I opened the door. Was everything we said in the privacy of our home scrutinized and recorded? What about when we were intimate? Did they listen to that too?
I dropped the library books on a nearby table and started pacing. Alec would not be home until five. Anxiously I began cleaning to pass the time. I looked at the clock. Only a half hour had passed. I nearly screamed in frustration, until an idea popped into my head.
I began scouring every surface of the house. Every piece of furniture was tipped over and inspected. I checked the phone, every plug and outlet, and every cabinet. Then I checked the appliances and every inch of the kitchen. I even inspected the bathroom and the back of the toilet. Nothing. If there was a listening device of some kind, it was well hidden.
Defeated I sank down on the couch and pouted. What did a bug look like? Was it super small? Was it just a listening device or did it have a camera? Could they be watching everything we did? Oh God, what a disturbing thought.
I must have fallen asleep. The next sound I heard was muffled cursing come from the front door.
“Lizzie? Lizzie, open this door before I break it down!” Alec shouted.
Oh no, I left the chain attached. Giggling I ran to the door and unlatched it.
“Sorry. I fell asleep.”
Alec swept me up into his arms. “What a long day. I missed you every minute.”
I kissed him, dragging him into the house. “We need to talk,” I told him urgently, in a hushed whisper. “And I don’t think you are going to like it one bit.”
The Tap was one of the best bars in Dayton. It was constantly crowded, offered cheap beers during happy hour, and sported a woodsy décor that felt warm and inviting when you walked through the door. The main bar was a long slab of oak, carefully preserved despite the scratches that littered the surface. Long rows of battered wooden barstools in multiple shades of stain, were mostly filled with patrons almost every night of the week. Neon signs advertised beer and liquor, while the lowered lighting allowed the guests to cozy up with whoever they wished.
We entered through the front double doors, made of wood and puffy vinyl cushions, and took a seat at a booth in the back. Donnovan was already waiting for us. He started to wave, then thought better of it, and quickly dropped his hand. I smiled at his indecision. It was sort of sweet.
Alec led me to the table, his strong lean fingers protectively guiding my lower back. I slid into the seat across from Donnovan and Alec quickly scooted in next to me. Once the waitress had taken our order for beers and burgers, minus a lemonade for me, we finally spoke.
“Well, let’s have it out Donnovan,” Alec started, looking more than a little disbelieving.
Donnovan had the decency to look a little sheepish. “I know what you are thinking…and I don’t blame you for not believing what I have to say.”
Alec nodded. “You’re right. I don’t.”
I rolled my eyes. We were going to get nowhere fast if Alec kept this up.
“I think you should start at the beginning, like you did with me,” I encouraged, giving Donnovan a small smile.
Alec opened his mouth to object but I grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly. Frowning he leaned back but did not say anything.
“It started with the dreams, nightmares really. I never used to have trouble sleeping, not before I joined the militia. But I started having terrible dreams that awakened me in the night. I would wake up shaking, covered in sweat, and yelling. It was my own voice that shook me out of the nightmares. And then it got worse…”
He took a sip of beer. We waited for him to continue.
“If it was only the nightmares I might not have ever realized anything else was going on. But it didn’t stop there. The nightmares carried over from my dreams. I would drift off during the day. I started having these intersecting thoughts that would scare the shit out of me. They progressed and got steadily worse.”
He shook his head. “The line between truth and reality became blurred. I tried everything I could to get them out of my head but I couldn’t. Before long I was living in a constant nightmare, almost as if somebody else was controlling my thoughts and ideas,” he explained, his voice tight and strained.
I watched him take another sip of beer, not wanting to interrupt, and the calm returned to his eyes.
“That’s when the messages became more specific. And violent. My head started pounding almost all the time. Images started to flash through my head. Blood, sex, and gruesome torture. Then you entered my mind Elizabeth…and I was unable to stop my actions.”
Alec nearly jumped out of his seat. “Elizabeth?” He repeated, staring down first Donnovan and then me.
“Later,” I whispered to Alec, grabbing his hand again.
He was angry. I could see it. A muscle in his cheek twitched.
“The living nightmares continued for weeks. They were always about you after that. Nothing I could do would get rid of my impulse to seek you out. I wanted you. In every way. To punish. To hurt. To enjoy…” His voice trailed off as he noticed Alec’s reaction.
Alec nearly exploded. “What!?”
My heart started to beat frantically as I attempted to calm him down.
“Alec…Alec, not here. Not now. Please,” I begged him.
For a moment I thought he was going to reach across the table and strangle Donnovan. His eyes were cold and menacing. Everything about him vibrated rage. It was Donnovan’s next words that calmed him the most.
“I was not the one who wanted to do those things to her. Don’t you understand? They were not my thoughts and desires. They belong to someone else.” Donnovan’s voice was desperate, rising with each word.
Alec sat back against the seat, deflated. All the anger left his body. Slowly he inched his hand across the table to mine and held it, squeezing lightly.
“How did you figure it out?” He finally asked.
“I was in constant turmoil. Fits of rage would overtake me. I became violent. Inside I was torn between the monster that the nightmares wanted me to be and the man I really was. One night in my bunk I flew into a rage and broke all of the furniture. I busted the speakers on the wall when I threw a chair. When the broken pieces shattered, something small, and definitely not part of the spea
ker, fell on the ground. I picked it up out of curiosity and felt the hum and vibration running through it.”
Alec was absorbed, listening to every word. Donnovan continued.
“I’ve been on plenty of stake outs. We trust the technology the militia issues. The moment I picked that little bug up I knew exactly what it was. Shock almost made me doubt what was in my hand. But I knew. I’ve planted dozens of them, trying to find refugees. It was not an accident that I found it in my room. It was planted.”
Alec opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He sat in shock for a moment, taking in all of Donnovan’s words. He suddenly leaned forward, ready to speak, when the waitress showed up with our food. We ate mostly in silence. After a moment, I remembered something important.
“Michael, what about the drugs?” I asked, puzzled that he hadn’t mentioned it yet.
Alec looked over at me sharply. “Michael? Now you two are on a first name basis?”
Tension radiated off of him in waves. I sighed. “Not now Alec.”
He looked ready to argue. “Why not…Elizabeth?”
I took a deep breath. “Because you are being ridiculous and this is not the time to discuss it.”
He trembled slightly, taking a huge bite of his burger and chewing loudly. I ignored him.
Donnovan seemed to think it was funny. He chuckled until Alec sent him a dirty look.
“Once I found the bug I became suspicious of everything. I trusted no one. I became hesitant about anything that came from the militia. I was still having the headaches and nightmares but I was fighting them off a little more successfully. I stopped going to the mess hall to eat, simply to avoid confrontations. Whenever I came in contact with anyone, rage would overtake me. The mess was the worst. I recognized that solitude may help. After that, the headaches and nightmares became less frequent, and I felt more like myself. I had moments of clarity that lasted hours.”
Alec raised an eyebrow but didn’t interrupt.
“Almost every night I would come here and have a beer and clear my head. I usually grabbed something to eat wherever I could. All of a sudden the nightmares and the headaches began to cease. I knew they didn’t stop because of nothing. The only thing that makes sense is that the food in the mess hall is being tampered with,” he concluded, finishing his beer.
Refugee Road (Freedom Fighters Series Book 1) Page 20
