Refugee Road (Freedom Fighters Series Book 1)

by Landis, Nikki

  I let him rest, not quite ready for bed. Lovingly I ran my fingers through his brown curls and he sighed in contentment. His head was resting in my lap, right next to my belly. He leaned his cheek and hand against it, a small smile on his face.

  The baby kicked and moved, the regular movement a confirmation of his continued health and growth. Library books on pregnancy and childbirth littered the coffee table. Alec had been reading everything he could find, from medical books to parenting. I was impressed and relieved. I think he knew how nervous I was but we never discussed it. He would be capable and confident when our son was ready to be born, that was good enough for me.

  Sudden emotion brought tears rushing to my eyes. A fierce love for them both filled me. They were my whole world, as Alec had mentioned earlier. There was nothing I would not do to keep them both safe. The attempted break in and the intruder proved someone had plans that involved either my capture or my demise. Now I was placing myself in greater danger to help Donnovan. When would all of this chaos end?

  I remembered the letters from Mal after Alec left for work Friday morning. One by one I read them, the oldest first. Mal was worried, really worried about me. Until I read the last letter, I had no idea what he had been going through. Once I did my heart skipped a beat and I sank to the couch, partly in shock, and partly overcome with emotion. Mal…

  My beloved Lizzie,

  Where are you? I leave letters and check the box under our bench twice a week. I never find anything from you. I never hear from you. I never know where you are, if you are all right, scared, or hurt. I never know anything. It plagues me. You haunt my dreams. What happened? Why have you not contacted me?

  These last few months have been so long without you. I never realized how much I enjoyed your company until you were lost from my side. I never knew just how much you meant to me until you were gone. I find myself looking for you everywhere. Where are you?

  At night I lay in my bunk tortured by that night you were lashed, angry I could not stop it, frustrated that I did not take you away and save you from that monster. I should have made you leave. I should have insisted we make a new start, the two of us together. We could have done it, Ballard would have helped us.

  I find myself wishing for a different past. I close my eyes and all I see is your face before me. I was a fool Lizzie. I let you go. I never told you the truth, not once. I never let my heart say the words that could have changed everything. Surely you know how I feel.

  I hope I find you. I hope I get to see you and say the words in my heart. I hope that time will not separate us for long because I will wait, however long I need to, until you contact me. I know you will. I know I will find a letter from you. You see, it’s not only my heart that’s afflicted, yours is too.

  Find me. Contact me. I’ll be waiting.

  With love,

  Mal

  Saturday morning dawned bright and cool. The last of the golden and brown leaves had fallen to the ground. The trees were barren and empty, the soil hard and cold, ushering in the new winter season. I dressed warm, adding a long cardigan and buttoning it over my growing belly. It was December now, close to Christmas. Excitement for the upcoming holidays filled me. We would share our first Christmas together soon as a married couple.

  Alec and I left early for the drive to Dayton. No sneaking around in the middle of the night this time. We borrowed the same car, with permission. The drive was quiet. I knew Alec had reservations about what we were doing. What would we find at the park? A message? Mal? There was no way to know, but I knew I trusted Mal. I did not believe we had anything to worry about.

  Alec held my hand as we entered the park, his eyes darting back and forth around us. A soldier was always aware of his surroundings. Darren had taught me that but I noticed that Alec was especially astute. He never missed anything.

  Mal was waiting for us when we turned the corner by the bench. I let go of Alec’s hand and nearly ran, as best I could, into his arms.

  “Lizzie! Oh thank God!” He exclaimed, holding me in a tight hug.

  “You found my note,” I replied, smiling up at him.

  “Of course! I never doubted that you would contact me when you were able.”

  He looked wonderful. Same Mal. Tall and lanky and humor in his eyes.

  “I missed you,” I told him, dragging him over to the bench, pulling him by the hand.

  Alec sat down next to me. “Mal, nice to see you.”

  Mal shook his hand. “Nice to see you too. Lizzie looks well.”

  His eyes dipped briefly to my stomach and then glanced at my left hand.

  “I am well Mal,” I patted my stomach.

  “When is the baby coming?” He asked, his voice catching a little.

  I raised any eyebrow. “In about twelve weeks.”

  He frowned for a moment and I could see him calculating in his head. He would know I became pregnant right away.

  He cleared his throat, placing a fake smile on his face. “I’m happy for you both.”

  Something was wrong but he quickly hid the brief flash I saw, so fast I almost imagined his cover up. His eyes scanned my face, never leaving it.

  “What took you so long? Has everything been all right?” He asked anxiously.

  I shook my head. There was a lot to tell him.

  “Lizzie is in danger,” Alec informed him.

  “In danger? What happened?”

  Alec told him about the intruder and the attempted break in.

  “Lizzie, this is serious. What are you going to do?” His voice betrayed his concern, getting tight. He reached for my hand and held it, squeezing my fingers, oblivious to Alec’s frown.

  “I’m not exactly sure but that’s not the reason I’m here. There’s more Mal.”

  Alec and I filled him in on the suspected brainwashing, militia testing, and Donnovan.

  “You need my help,” he concluded, when we finished.

  “Yes,” I replied. My eyes met his. Astute as ever, he asked the only question that mattered.

  “Can I trust him Lizzie?”

  I could only be honest. “I believe so but Mal I never put anything past the militia.”

  “Agreed. I think I need to meet him, decide for myself. If I’m going to take the risk, then I need to be sure.”

  Mal was right. Let Donnovan make his case. If he was convincing, then Mal would help him. I knew he would.

  Alec stood and stretched. “I can bring him tomorrow. Can you meet us again?”

  Mal nodded. “Noon. Same bat time, same bat channel.”

  I smiled. He loved to quote super hero shows and characters.

  “I’m going for a quick walk. I need to stretch my legs. Back in a few minutes love,” Alec told me, placing a kiss on my cheek.

  I watched him walk away. Mal slid closer on the bench.

  “Lizzie, are you happy?” He asked, his voice hesitant.

  I looked into his eyes and read only concern.

  “Yes, I am Mal.” I told him truthfully.

  “When did you marry him?” His voice was soft.

  “The day after he rescued me,” I replied, just as soft.

  Mal looked stunned. “So fast…” He shook his head. “I never would have thought to find you…married…and with a baby almost here.” The pain in his voice felt like it was located right in the center of my heart.

  “I…yes, it was fast,” I could barely answer him.

  “And you love him?” He asked. His eyes kept searching mine, looking for any doubt.

  I smiled. “Oh yes, very much.”

  “Does he treat you well?”

  “Mal, I would not be with him unless I loved and trusted him, unless I felt safe and cared for. You know that.”

  He nodded. “You left so quickly. I heard what Darren said. I saw how he tried to kill you both. Was it just jealousy or something more Lizzie?”

  “I honestly don’t know. Jealousy maybe but it could have been anything. His violence was escalating,” I sh
uddered, remembering.

  “Did you leave with Alec because you thought you had no other choice?”

  A simple question but not a simple answer. “I don’t know.”

  “I told you, I would have…” He cleared his throat again. “I would have Lizzie, for you.”

  “I know Mal,” I couldn’t meet his gaze anymore. Those searching blue eyes held too much emotion.

  “He tried to tell everyone that you were kidnapped. He’s told so many lies that nobody knows the truth about anything anymore. He’s unstable.”

  “He’s alive then,” I sighed. I knew it.

  I thought perhaps he might have perished that night we escaped but he survived. Fear creeped in. Was Darren somehow responsible for the break in? Or the intruder? I shook my head and dismissed the idea. No way.

  “Does he still talk about me?” I asked.

  “No, and that concerns me. I don’t think he has let it go.” Mal admitted.

  “What do you mean?” I asked, suddenly even more afraid.

  Mal put his arm around me. “I wouldn’t worry. You are safe with Alec.”

  I lay my head on his shoulder, holding his hand in my lap. “Did you tell him you were meeting me?”

  “No, and I don’t think I should. He’s unpredictable and dangerous. I’ll keep this to myself,” he promised.

  I sighed in relief. “Good. I was hoping you would say that. How is everyone doing? Big Dog? Diva?”

  “Good, now that we found a new home base. Took some time. We were scattered for a couple of months but Darren managed to get us all back together. You know about the raid? Over the summer?”

  “Yes, Alec told me about it. Were there any casualties?” I wondered.

  “We managed to get everyone out. Thanks again to Darren. He might have issues but his leadership and dedication to the refugees is undeniable.”

  “That may be true Mal…but because of him I can never return,” I reminded him quietly.

  He frowned. “You’re right. How stupid of me to forget that.”

  “Not stupid just reality. I wish you could return with us. It would be much simpler. Why don’t you come back to the base and talk to Donnovan there?” I asked, the idea popping into my head.

  “I don’t know Lizzie. Darren would notice my absence. How would I explain that?” He asked, looking discouraged.

  “I don’t know but I would love it if you would come. I would feel so much safer. Please, Mal.”

  He pursed his lips together and finally nodded. “All right. I’ll come. Give me an hour to run back to base for a few things. I’m going to try and fix it so that I have a couple of days with you.”

  I hugged him tight. “Oh Mal I’m so glad. I’ll wait.”

  “Lizzie, before I go…did you read my letters?” He asked, looking into my eyes again.

  I met his gaze. “Yes, Mal. And I know. I love you too.”

  I whispered the last part into his ear, part of me feeling guilty. He turned and kissed my cheek, his lips lingering against my skin, making me wonder if he was going to say those words he mentioned in his letter or not. He stood quickly when Alec returned.

  “I’ll be back soon.”

  “What’s going on?” Alec asked.

  I told him of my conversation with Mal and my idea to bring him with us.

  “That’s a great idea Lizzie. I prefer meeting in private instead of out in the open. Too many unknowns. In your condition we can’t be too careful.”

  I nodded as he sat next to me on the bench, one arm hugging me close.

  “Thank you,” I pressed a kiss to his lips.

  He raised an eyebrow. “What was that for?”

  “For being kind and giving me a moment to talk to him alone.”

  He grinned sheepishly. “I could give you that. I know you love him like a brother.”

  “Yes,” I smiled, “yes, I do.”

  Mal returned an hour and a half later, carrying a duffle bag, and a huge grin plastered on his face.

  “It looks like luck is on our side. Let’s go,” he announced.

  In the car Mal explained that Darren was gone for a few days and had left shortly before he met with me. Perfect. No rush to meet with Donnovan then and no worries. Mal would return to base before Darren even knew he had been gone. Hopefully, if things worked out, Mal and Donnovan would be showing up together.

  Tomorrow night Donnovan was meeting us for dinner. We decided to meet at The Tap again. It was easy and convenient and not under any kind of surveillance. Alec, Mal, and I ate a nice dinner and went to bed early after a game of cards. It had been a pleasant evening. I was happy, having Mal in the house seemed too long in coming.

  I awakened sometime in the middle of the night, as usual, having a full bladder. The sound of restless pacing drew my attention. I tiptoed down the stairs and nearly bumped into Mal walking out of the kitchen.

  He seemed momentarily surprised and then smiled. “Did I wake you?”

  I shook my head and walked into the kitchen, pouring a glass of cold milk.

  “Aren’t you tired?” I asked, yawning.

  Mal took a seat in one of the wooden dining table chairs. “Not really. I haven’t slept well in months.”

  A sudden memory entered my mind, when Mal had told me it was the best he had ever rested, all those months ago, at Ballard’s compound. Nervously I chewed on my bottom lip.

  He watched, his eyes darting between my stomach and my face.

  I sat down next to him. “What’s the matter Mal?”

  He shrugged his shoulders noncommittally. Something was bothering him. I knew him well enough to see that he was denying it. I also knew that he would tell me when he was ready.

  Finishing the milk, I got up and rinsed the glass in the sink.

  “Good night. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  His hand shot out and he pulled me close, resting his cheek against my belly. Neither of us moved for long minutes. Finally, he spoke in a whisper.

  “It’s you Lizzie. You that I dream of. You that I miss. You that I can’t forget. And I can’t stop myself from wishing…things were very different between us.”

  I froze at his sudden declaration. I loved Mal, truly I did. The last thing I wanted to do was break his heart. I took a deep breath and released it. Words to discourage him would not form on my lips. How did I say what I needed to say when I wasn’t sure what is was to begin with?

  “I love you.” His words plummeted my heart, sending it shattering to the ground. Oh God. How could he say that now? How could he release that into the air between us, knowing it would lodge in my heart? Why Mal, why? I met his eyes in a panic, tears glistening.

  Mal acted before I could respond. He stood and placed his hands on either side of my face and kissed me gently, his lips soft and loving, drawing the breath from my body at the tender way he held me. His forehead leaned against mine as he took a ragged breath. “You needed to know.”

  He left me, his arms squeezing my shoulders, before he walked back into the living room and went to sleep on the couch. Stunned, I stood there for another minute and then went back upstairs. It was a long time before I finally fell asleep.

  The next morning Mal was up before either of us. The smell of bacon and eggs filled the air and made my mouth water. Alec and I enjoyed a wonderful breakfast with Mal and then he left for work. The afternoon passed quickly. When Alec came home for lunch, the guys grilled out back and shared a few beers. I fell asleep on the couch watching them.

  To pass the time Mal and I played cards, and worked on a puzzle, similar to how we would pass time before I left with Alec. There wasn’t a lot of conversation but Mal and I were close enough that it never bothered us. Not once did either of us mention last night. I doubted we ever would.

  Chapter Nineteen

  The Tap was crowded, only two tables had space available. I slid into the booth after Alec, scooting over for Mal. They flanked me on either side. With humor I glanced at Donnovan across the table and he
smiled.

  “Who’s your friend?” He asked, suspicious.

  “Mal, this is Donnovan. Donnovan this is Malcolm,” I introduced, glancing between them.

  Donnovan shot out his hand, and Mal shook it.

  “Call me Slug. Everyone else will. Except Lizzie,” he replied, winking at me.

  The waitress came over to our table and rolled her eyes. Apparently she was the same one from last time and she was not happy to see us again.

  “What’ll it be?” She asked, staring at Mal.

  He grinned. “Rum and Coke, thanks.”

  “Lemonade,” I answered.

  She rolled her eyes again. I couldn’t catch a break even when I was pregnant?

  “Snakebite,” Donnovan told her, frowning.

  She smiled sweetly at Alec and bent over, showing some cleavage. This time I rolled my eyes at her.

  His eyes, to his credit, never left her face. “Stinger.”

  “You got it sweetie.” She left, swishing her hips provocatively.

  Shaking my head, I hid my laugh with a cough. Some girls try way too hard.

  “So…” Donnovan began.

  Alec shook his head and nodded to the waitress. We waited for her to return and then resumed our meeting.

  “All right then, let’s get started,” I nodded at Mal.

  Alec sat up straight, looking pointedly at Donnovan. “Slug is willing to hear your story.”

  “I hope so.”

  I smiled at Donnovan reassuringly. “Go ahead. Tell him everything.”

  Donnovan repeated the entire story from start to finish, not leaving a single detail out. He was looking to convince Mal of his need to flee the militia and he did not disappoint. His voice caught several times and he paused, but managed to continue until the tale was finished.

  Mal’s only response was an occasional nod and glance at me. Once he looked incredibly angry when Donnovan mentioned how he had attacked me at the townhouse. I had to take his hand and squeeze it to get him to calm down.