It’d been a long time since Kayla had been called pretty. Heck, it’d been a long time since she’d felt pretty. Was she blushing? She leaned in, examining her reflection. Holy crap! She was blushing and, if her daughters sent color to her cheeks, she was in big trouble.
“Why, thank you.”
“I want lipstick.” Penelope smacked her lips.
Sadie giggled when Kayla swiped Ravishing Red over Pene’s puckered puss. Sadie leaned forward. “Me too!”
Another swipe. Another pucker. Another laugh.
Kayla’s heart hadn’t been so light in such a long time. Her thoughts drifted to Leon and she felt her eyes sting. She looked into the mirror, blinking away the tears. Redoing her make-up because she got all weepy would only put her behind schedule.
The doorbell rang. The girls squealed, “Ian! Ian’s here!” and scrambled down, hustling out the door, calling his name.
“It’s not a date,” she told herself.
She could do this, because it wasn’t a date. She wasn’t ready to date, wasn’t ready to let Leon go. But since this wasn’t a date, she didn’t have to feel guilt.
Ian, in all of his goodness, felt sorry for her. The realization should tick her off. But he was right, she did need this. And she could do it.
She could.
Really, she could.
And yet, her feet seemed to be stuck to the bathroom floor. The kitchen she’d understand, but this flesh to tile combo had nothing to do with spilled Kool-Aid and everything to do with the nerves currently turning her to Jell-O.
No matter how she tried to tell herself this night didn’t mean anything, she saw it for the big fat lie it was. Tonight was huge. Tonight, dressed to the nines, Kayla was taking the first step to moving on.
Not that she dreamed of a Prince Charming named Ian. She might be a basket case, but she wasn’t delusional. He was giving her a gift, tossing her yet another life line. And, by damn, she’d accept this one.
She glanced down at her toes, wiggled them, imagined herself peeling her sole from the tile. A single step would begin this journey. She took a deep breath. A single step became two, then three and four. Before long she stood in her closet in front of rows of shoes. Heels. She smiled. Hooker heels, Leon had called them. She loved her shoes and she hadn’t put on a pair since…
One step.
She leaned up on her tiptoes and carefully pulled a pair of red stilettos. Slipping on one then the other, she added a few more steps to the count. A stupid pair of shoes shouldn’t bring comfort. A pair of four-inch heels shouldn’t ground her. But as she stood in front of the door-length mirror, she finally felt like herself again.
She turned from side-to-side. The hem flared. She popped her hands on her hips and winked. She smiled and looked constipated. That made her laugh, forming little wrinkles at the corners of her eyes.
She was Kayla Black. She felt beautiful, all things considering. And tonight would begin the rest of her life.
She flipped off the light in the closet, closed her eyes for a moment of communion. “I love you, Leon. I will always love you. But I gotta do this. I can’t do sad and pathetic anymore. God, I miss you, babe.” Her voice cracked. She cleared her throat, opened her eyes and spoke to the empty room. “I miss you.”
The kids bounced around at Ian’s feet, playing twenty questions. Each! Poor Stephanie.
“Where you goin’?”
“When will you be home?”
“How old are you, Stephanie?”
“What’s for dinner?”
“Do you like Dora?”
“Can you cook?”
“Will you let us stay up late?”
Stephanie shot Ian a look that said the three-hundred bucks may not be enough for the torture ahead.
“Where’s your girl?” she asked out of the corner of her mouth.
Ian had been wondering the same thing. Surely, she didn’t plan of pulling a no-show. His palms already rivaled a sauna. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his black slacks, to nonchalantly remove some of the clammy.
Stephanie leaned in. “Chill. She’s probably trying for a dramatic entrance.”
So much for cool and casual. He bent to whisper a reply when movement at the top of the stair caught his eye, stole his breath.
Kayla clasped her hands in front of her, shifting from one high-heeled foot to the other. Honestly, she looked scared shitless. He wondered if she’d high-tail it back to her room and lock herself away. Not gonna happen. Nothing would stand in the way of this night. He wouldn’t allow any barricades.
He stepped forward, but it wasn’t his breathless words stopping the beauty at the top of the stairs.
“Wow!” Chase sighed. “Mom, you look…beautiful.”
Color splashed her cheeks and she looked directly at him. Ian forgot his own name. Happiness sparked in her stare. The joy he felt in that moment made all the effort worth it. He could go home right now and have had succeeded. Kayla was happy. Finally, maybe for only a few fleeting hours, his Kayla was happy.
She walked down the stairs with the grace and elegance of a queen. Her dark hair cascaded around her shoulders in big curls. His fingers ached to disturb those curls. The red dress she wore made him want to do very naughty things to her. Lots of creamy skin to compliment the flowing red fabric.
Oh hell, he was in serious trouble. No PG-13 in his thoughts right now and he didn’t expect them to tone down any time soon.
“Close your mouth,” Stephanie stage whispered before greeting Kayla. “Your son is right, you do look beautiful. I’m Stephanie and I’m gonna hang out with your kids tonight. Anything I should know?”
Ian wondered when his sister had been body-snatched. He watched in complete amazement as Stephanie took instructions for bedtimes, tooth brushing, snacks, dinner, blah, blah, blah.
Kayla led the kids into the kitchen.
Stephanie called, “I’ll be right there,” after them. She came up to him, not that he was looking at her, more like looking over the top of her. Damn, Kay had knocked him on his ass and hadn’t said two words to him. Stephanie smacked him in the chest. That caught his attention.
“Hey.” He glared down at her.
“You’d better be careful.” She pointed her finger at him.
He cocked his head. “Careful of what?”
“Dude.” She shook her head. “It’s obvious you’re so in love with her.”
“Duh.” He rolled his eyes. “You already knew that.”
“Anybody with eyeballs in their head can see it. If you don’t want her to clue in, you’d better at least try not to drool.”
“I didn’t drool.” He wiped his chin anyway.
She put her hands on her hips. “Ian, I love you and I don’t want you to get hurt. And that woman has the power to break your heart.”
“She doesn’t have any idea how I feel and I have no intention of telling her.”
“Ever?”
“Not any time soon.” Ian rubbed at his chest, soothing the sudden ache that’d blossomed there. “She’s not ready to love anyone besides Leon. I can be patient.”
“And what if she’s never ready to love anyone besides Leon?”
He jerked his chin. He refused to think of that possibility. “It’s only been six months.”
“Fair enough. But how many more months are you gonna wait around? You should at least be dating. Are you dating?”
“Yeah. I have a date tonight with an amazing woman.”
“I thought it was a non-date.” She winked. “I just worry about you.”
“I’m fine.”
Her raised brow and quirked lip spoke her skepticism. “Have fun. I love you.”
“Love you, too, sis. Thanks for tonight.”
“Hey, I’m only doing it for the money.”
Kayla wasn’t in the kitchen very long before a chorus of goodbyes accompanied her appearance. She blushed when her eyes met his. “I think I’m ready.”
He offered his elbow an
d she slipped her arm through his. The simple, innocent contact didn’t bode well for him keeping his hands to himself. Until the last thing she did before closing the door was look at the portrait of Leon hanging on the wall. Talk about shrinkage.
He wanted to make this evening perfect for her. Except if he were being honest with himself, his goals for this evening were selfish, no doubt about it. Which made him a total bastard. He wanted to show her how wonderful things could be between them. Dammit! Stephanie hit the damn nail on the head. His heart stood in the crosshairs and dumbshit he was, he wasn’t even trying to dodge the bright red laser dot on his chest.
“You look gorgeous, Kayla.”
She smiled up at him. He’d never seen her so shy. He imagined that was how she looked twenty years ago, when first dipping her toes into the dating world. Her eyes twinkled in the evening light. She squeezed his arm. “Thank you for everything. You were right. I really needed this.”
Well, at least he got to be right about something. Go him.
He guided her down the sidewalk over to his driveway. He popped the locks on the Mustang and opened her door. She gasped at the long-stemmed rose on the passenger seat. “Is this for me?”
“Yeah, I’m not trying to be romantic or anything like that.” Liar! He brushed at his ass for good measure. “I just really want tonight to be special for you.”
She wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing her cheek against his chest. She held on tight. He returned the embrace and savored her as long as she’d let him. Which turned out to be a good minute-thirty. Give or take. Not that he was counting. She stepped back, took his hands in hers.
“Ian, you’ve already made tonight special and we haven’t even left the driveway.” Her glance dropped down to their hands and his followed. She ran her manicured fingers over his knuckles. “I can’t say that I’m ready to move on romantically.” Her eyes sought his as she clarified. “With anyone. I’m just not there yet.” She shook her head and laughed a little. “Not that you care.” A dainty shoulder shrug. “I guess I just had to say it out loud. Gosh, I sound so lame. Can we just go before I make a bigger idiot out of myself?”
Kayla hoped the ground would open up and swallow her whole. She’d stood in front of the most gorgeous, kind, sexy man and basically told him she was off limits, when all he wanted was to show her a good time.
She sighed in relief when his dumbstruck expression turned into a smile. She joined him when he chuckled.
“Kayla, you’re a beautiful woman. I’m happy to have you on my arm. Let your hair down. Smile. Laugh. Have fun. That’s my only ulterior motive. The only thing I want is for you to share tonight with me.” He waved an arm toward the passenger seat.
She slid in and as he closed the door, she wasn’t sure whether his little speech made her feel better or worse. At least he’d told her she was beautiful. But hell, he wasn’t going to exactly tell her she and Shrek were separated at birth. Which they weren’t.
He stood at the back of the car for a while, probably trying to compose himself. He wouldn’t want to be laughing when he climbed into the driver’s seat. She’d made a complete and utter fool of herself. Seriously, what kind of moron was she? She really should keep her damn mouth shut.
Just because he was taking her out, had given her flowers—no, a flower—and told her she was beautiful didn’t mean he’d proposed marriage. Using her thumb, she moved her wedding band around her finger. What the heck was she doing? She really should call the whole thing off right now. She’d already screwed things up and he hadn’t even started the car.
When he opened the door and slid inside she shifted in her seat, facing him. “Look, we don’t have to do this.”
He flinched, but recovered quickly. “If you’re not ready, I’m not going to push you. But I will be really disappointed if you walk back inside.”
She looked down at the delicate red fabric covering her lap. Dang it, she’d be really disappointed too. From the moment Ian mentioned tonight, she’d been excited. She’d never shied away from a challenge. She wouldn’t start tonight. She pushed Leon out of her thoughts, refused to think of Ian taking one for the team and reached for her seatbelt.
“How fast can this sucker go?”
Ian recognized the deer-in-the-headlights. He wondered if she realized she’d been white-knuckling the door handle. She’d been spooked and he hadn’t even been in the car. Doubts? Ghosts? Didn’t matter. She’d made the decision to stay. He’d make sure she didn’t regret it.
He hit I-15 and let the engine loose. The thought of a ticket didn’t concern him, not considering the cash he planned on dropping tonight. And every damn dime was worth it if the smile she wore now stayed on her face.
Damn, she really was a beautiful woman.
Would she mourn him if…
He stopped that thought in its tracks. Seriously! First, he wasn’t going anywhere and secondly, they didn’t have that kind of relationship. She’d been damn sure to make that clarification.
He weaved in and out of traffic and she laughed. Her hand wrapped around the door handle, holding on. “Oh, my gosh! You’re crazy!”
“Too fast?”
“No!” She shot a look at the speedometer. “But I’d hate for you to get pulled over. I don’t have enough cleavage to get you out of a citation.”
And just like that his eyeballs were right in the middle of that gorgeous cleavage. “I don’t know about that.”
She put a hand to her chest. He didn’t think she protected her modesty, but he focused on the road all the same. The last thing on the agenda was making her nervous or making her think he was some kind of boob ogling letch.
His foot eased off the accelerator. He flipped on the blinker and prepared to take the next exit. Diaz said their table would be ready at ten-thirty. Kayla and the kids usually ate dinner hours before and he’d wanted to make sure she kept to her schedule. Thoughtful bastard, wasn’t he? He smiled.
He pulled up to the valet at one of the fanciest restaurants in town. Her eyes widened. “Ian?”
A kid in a white shirt and black slacks—not so different from his own, he realized with a frown—opened her door and extended a hand. “Ma’am.”
“Ian?”
He didn’t answer, simply got out and walked around to take her by the arm. “I told you I wanted to make tonight special.”
“Special, yes. Expensive, no. Ian, this isn’t who I am. If we don’t go in there, will it cost you anything?”
He shook his head. “No. But Kay—”
“Ian, just being out with you is enough. I don’t need fancy and expensive. Let’s just hit IHOP.”
“I’m not taking you to IHOP or somewhere really nice like Denny’s.” He laughed at his own inside joke. His father, God rest his soul, loved Denny’s and thought it was a fancy place. The man would probably shit a brick to think Ian was willing to lay down the kind of cash needed beyond those glass and chrome doors.
Kayla rushed over to the valet, said something to him and came back with the keys. “Olive Garden? It’s nice, but not too nice. More my style.”
And more his budget, truth be told.
“If I say yes, you’re not allowed to veto anything else for the rest of the evening, deal?”
“Deal. If I can drive.” She held the keys out, leaving the choice to him.
He dipped his chin. She grinned and closed her fist around the keys. Her heels clipped along the stained concrete as she rushed around to the driver’s side. He slipped into the passenger seat and buckled his seatbelt. “Don’t make me regret this, babydoll.”
“How does the saying go? ‘Get in. Sit back. Shut up and hold on’?”
“I’ve heard something like that.”
The tires chirped as she hit the gas and released the clutch. She giggled, but worked the gears like a pro. “Sorry. It’s real touchy.”
Who’d have thought the soccer mom with the conservative SUV could handle a stick like a boss? He thought he knew everythin
g about her. Obviously he didn’t know shit.
“Don’t go gettin’ pulled over, babe. I know I don’t have enough cleavage to get us out of a ticket.”
She didn’t look at him, but her smile grew until slight wrinkles formed at the corners of her mouth. She didn’t look old. She was radiant, absolutely breathtaking. She reached down and cranked the radio, doing the worst karaoke he’d ever heard. It was the best sound. Joy, unadulterated pleasure, ricocheted through the car. He loved it!
Make that two things he’d learned about her. Before tonight he hadn’t known she couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket. Good thing he was tone deaf.
It wasn’t long before she pulled into the parking lot of the Italian restaurant, easing into a spot. She cut the engine, all but jumped out of the car and skipped around to his side. She dangled the keys, laughing when she jerked them away from him. He had no idea what’d prompted the fun and playful Kayla, but he’d take it. And up the ante.
He lunged forward, grabbed her around the waist and pulled her close, plucking the keys from her fingers. Her breath came in pants. Her smile fell, but didn’t disappear. Her eyes searched his face, his eyes. “Thank you. I don’t feel like I can say it enough. I’m just…I…just thank you, Ian.”
“I haven’t done anything.” Which wasn’t true, and they both knew it.
She surprised the shit out of him by hugging him. Not a gentle, friendly embrace, she grabbed hold and hugged the bejeezus out of him. “Well, then, thank you for everything you haven’t done. For me. For the kids. I know I’ve been a jerk to you and haven’t exactly been the easiest person to be around. I’m hoping to change my attitude.” She leaned up and kissed his cheek. “No promises, though.”
He quirked a grin and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll take what I can get.”
As much as he enjoyed standing in her arms, they couldn’t take up an empty parking space forever. Besides, he was hungry and the sooner they finished dinner, the sooner they could get to their next destination. He threaded his fingers through hers. “Come on. I’m starving.”
Her stomach answered. She tugged on his arm. “Would you hurry up?”
Hard Break (Deadlines & Diamonds, #5) Page 10
