She blinked at a stinging in her eyes. What the hell was wrong with her?
She rubbed at her arms, trying to appease the goosebumps. She knew what it was like to be enfolded in Ian’s embrace. The man could hug like no one she’d ever known. And to think…
Yeah, she wouldn’t think about Denali…and Ian.
Oh, hell!
Inside her closet, she pulled a pair of panties from the bag. There was no way in hell they’d fit the skinny ass Ian planned to put them on. Not her problem.
She enfolded them into her palm and looked down at the pink lace. Maybe she’d have to resort to keeping a few pairs of granny-panties for occasions when…
Oh, good hell! If this became the norm with Ian, she may have to consider moving. To Outer Mongolia.
Hurrying down the stairs, she couldn’t shake the obnoxious tugging at her heartstrings. Ian still looked nervous, standing there on her stoop. Her stomach flip-flopped when she saw him. The corner of his mouth tipped up in a smirk.
“Did you find some?”
She nodded, handing them over.
“I don’t like this.” The words came out as a whisper. She wasn’t even sure she’d really spoken until he looked up at her. He glanced down at the panties and frowned.
“I don’t like this.” This time she said it a little louder.
His brows crinkled. “I know. I’m sorry. I’m such an ass for even asking, but—”
“I don’t like this.” She stepped closer, swallowed hard. “I don’t like this.” And to show him just how much she didn’t like it, she leaned up on her toes and pressed her lips to his.
“Kayla?”
She shook her head, focused on his confused expression. Nothing like letting the fantasy or daydream or whatever the heck just happened take over. She still stood flat-footed a few feet away from him. Had she even told him she didn’t like it? Had the words gotten past her lips?
“Kay?”
Idiot of the year, raise your hand. She shoved her hand into the pocket of her pjs instead. “Y- yeah.”
He looked down at the tag. “Holy shit! This sexy crap is expensive. Sexy, but damn expensive.”
She choked out a laugh. “Yeah.”
“Thanks, Kay. You’re savin’ my life.” He kissed her quick on the cheek and hustled, even quicker back across the rocks separating their yards.
Little Miss Cute and Sexy smiled as he approached. Why wouldn’t she? She had the stud. Ian put his hand on her waist and led her inside, the two of them talking and laughing as the door closed.
Kayla closed her own door and leaned back against it. She didn’t understand what the heck had just happened. She’d never considered herself a jealous person, yet seeing another woman at Ian’s house brought out the claws. She rubbed her hands on her thighs, wiping away the sweat. This was ridiculous. It was Ian. Just Ian.
Just Ian.
Her Ian.
Wow. Reality slapped her upside the head. Somewhere along the line, as the calendar flipped from one page to the next, not only had Kayla begun to feel in the general sense. She’d begun to feel something for the sexy guy next door. Holy crap!
Ian knew Kayla watched as he met Denali on the porch. He could feel her disapproval scorching into his back. He smiled at Denali, who grinned back.
“I got ‘em.”
“Oh good. Did you tell her thank you?”
He thought back over their conversation and the only thing that stood out was her insistent I don’t like this. Yeah, well, damn him, he didn’t like it either. The last thing he wanted to do was parade another woman under her nose. The precedence it set, the example it showed her children probably had her seething right now.
Good. Let her be pissed for a while.
He closed the door and turned to hand the pink lace to Denali. She took the panties and frowned.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“How long have you been in love with her?” The question was soft, and didn’t contain any bite.
“I’m not—”
The cock of her brow stopped his protest. She smiled gently. “Are you lyin’ to me or to yourself?”
Well, hell. He’d been lyin’ to himself for a damn long time. Or at least been trying to. He didn’t expect to answer, but found his mouth opening and the word, “Forever,” slipping out. He choked on a laugh. “It feels like damn near forever.” His gaze met hers. “I’m sorry, Denali.”
She smiled, but her eyes were sad. She stepped in close and put her hand over his heart. “You’re a good man, Ian McCallister, but I don’t want only parts of you. I’m a selfish bitch and I want it all.”
He opened his mouth, not sure how the hell to respond.
A frown on her full lips. “Bottom line, Ian, I want your heart and you don’t have it to offer.”
She was right, of course. Kayla Black had held his heart from the moment she stepped off her front porch all those years ago.
“I’m so sorry.” And he was. Denali Conrad was a hell of a woman, the whole package. If only his damn heart had a frickin’ clue.
“Does she know?”
He closed his eyes, shook his head, feeling like a complete jackass. Here he stood with a woman practically telling him she loved him and he didn’t have the balls to tell the woman he did love how he felt. What a pussy! He shifted under her scrutiny, preferring to crawl into a hole.
She put her hand to his cheek. “Do me a favor?”
“Name it.” He looked into her baby blues and hoped he didn’t regret giving her free reign to dictate a favor.
“Tell her. Go over and tell that beautiful woman you’re head over heels in love with her.”
Ian scoffed. “I’m not head—”
She snorted. “Yeah. You are. It’s written all over your face when you look at her. I saw it the night at the club, but hoped we’d be able to start something to trump it. Frankly, I don’t know how she’s missed it.”
“Maybe she doesn’t want to see it.”
She shrugged. “Maybe. But you know what they say?”
“What’s that?”
“No pain, no gain.”
Ian laughed and wrapped her in a hug.
“Man up, McCallister.” She stretched up on her toes and kissed his cheek. “Put your heart out there. If she breaks it, I’ve got a year supply of Duct Tape.” She stepped back, holding the lapels of the robe he’d loaned her. “Give me ten minutes and I’ll be out of your hair.”
As she headed for the stairs, Ian couldn’t believe the epiphany that’d played face-palm. What the hell? Was it really that freakin’ obvious?
He knew he had it bad for the widowed mother of three. Had since moment one. Apparently it was pretty plain to anyone who looked.
Big question was had Kayla looked?
Seventeen
Coming or going, Kayla couldn’t be sure. Every time her thoughts drifted to Ian and Denali in his bathrobe—which was pretty much twenty-four-seven—that same bubbling anger curdled in her gut. She refused to acknowledge it for the jealousy it was.
She was not jealous of the little tramp in Ian’s life.
Most definitely not sporting green eyes and foaming at the mouth. She looked in the mirror and growled at her reflection. Then laughed. She giggled while shaking her head.
Damn her, she was jealous.
Somewhere along the lines, he’d become hers.
She turned, parking her backside against the counter and folded her arms. She really had developed feelings for the sexy guy next door. Another shake of her head. When the hell had that happened?
Her heart pounded in her chest to the point of an ache. She rubbed knuckles against her sternum. She was thirty-freakin’-seven and Ian was…
She sighed, lead settling in her lungs. Ian, in all his good-natured, good-looking, hawtness, was still a kid.
As one side, the logical side, of her brain griped and grunted all the reasons she was an idiot, the other side of her brain tittered with what it felt like to have
him hold her, comfort her, kiss her.
She remembered with vivid clarity how his lips brushed gently over hers. He’d been careful, chaste. Had he wanted to lose control? How different would it have been if he had?
A long, forgotten tingle started low in her belly and she clamped her thighs together.
Oh, hell! Talk about absolute absurdity!
She was thirty-seven, a mom, a widow, just an average, ordinary nobody. Ian was…Ian, twenty-seven, spectacular and wonderful and hot as hell.
Yet, when she thought of watching the parade of women sure to cross his stoop in the coming months and years, her stomach pitched.
So she had two choices, three really.
One, tell Ian she thought he was the Mac Daddy of Awesome and to take her to bed. She laughed at her audacity.
Two, pretend she couldn’t care less about Ian or his love life. She snorted so hard her sinuses hurt.
Or three, move. Again she laughed. Yeah, option three was so not an option.
Option two held a possibility, but not really. After yesterday and putting her own two eyeballs on the woman who’d been in Ian’s bed, Kayla knew she’d never be able to stand aside and ignore her feelings.
Good hell. When had she fallen in love with Ian?
And why the hell didn’t she feel like she was cheating on Leon in the process?
She twisted the wedding band on her left ring finger, the same piece of gold and diamonds she’d not taken off since the morning she’d received the news. She tugged at the chain around her neck, pulling it out to examine Leon’s ring. The tiny diamonds winked at her, then the whole thing went wavy.
And there was the guilt.
Leon left her nine months ago. Nine months. To some that might not seem like very long, but to Kayla it felt like eternity and then some. They’d been the longest, hardest nine months of her entire life.
She’d never survived if not for Ian. Was that what he was? Her rebound guy?
Or was he a second chance to find love again?
“Moooom!” Sadie’s shout came from downstairs, followed by the thudding of her footsteps on the steps. “Mooom! Ian’s here.”
“Oh, crap.” Whipping around she went about the task of washing her hands. Never before had the weight of her ring played on her thoughts. Most days she forgot she even wore it.
“Mom,” Sadie huffed and puffed, “did you hear me? Ian’s here.”
She glanced down at her daughter, hoping six-year-old innocence would buy the nonchalant, “Do you know what he wants?”
“Huh-uh.” She sniffed and wiped at her nose. “He knocked on the door and asked to talk to you. You better hurry, though, he looks like he’s in trouble or somethin’.”
“In trouble, like he needs something?”
“Huh-uh. Like he’s been naughty, like Chase gets all—” She mimicked her brother shifting from foot to foot. “Ya know, like he’s in trouble.”
Kayla had to laugh. She couldn’t imagine the scene Sadie described. As young as Ian was, he was still very much a man.
“Tell him I’ll be down in a few minutes.”
Sadie popped her hands on her hips. “Okay, but you better hurry.”
“I’ll hurry.”
She didn’t. Hurry, that is. She took her own damn sweet time. As she strode down the stairs with her head held high and her heart thundering away in her chest, Ian did resemble a little boy in trouble.
He dug the toe of his shoe into the carpet and concentrated on the indentation he made.
“Hey.”
His head jerked up. “Hey.”
She leaned against the banister and crossed her arms. “What brings you by?”
He sucked in a deep breath and walked over to her. She gripped the railing, mostly to keep from meeting him halfway. The vulnerability in his expression softened whatever irritation she had. She waited until he got in close, the tips of his Nikes a mere inch from her pink toenails. He reached out, but eased his hand back and into his pocket instead.
Based on the way he watched his feet, they must be pretty damned interesting. He swayed back and forth. “Look, I’m, ah…”
“Ian?”
His gaze darted to hers. She smiled, tossing him the lifeline he so desperately deserved.
“Just talk to me. What’s up?”
“I’m an asshat.”
She laughed, stifling the outburst with her hand.
“It’s true. I never should’ve put you in the position I did this morning. I’m sorry.”
“Are you sorry I met the woman in your life?” Her chest hurt to acknowledge little Miss Size Zero.
It was Ian’s turn to laugh. “Who, Denali?”
“It’s not a big deal, Ian. The kids told me you were seeing her.”
His brows crinkled. “How do the kids know about Denali?”
Kayla shrugged. “Chase overhead a phone call or something. It’s really not a big—”
“Kay. I’m not seeing Denali.”
“You’re only sleeping with her.” Dang, she sounded like a bitch. “Got it.”
He reached out and took hold of her arm. “I’m not sleeping with Denali.”
“Only showering with her.” Holy shit, she could at least pretend to be cool.
He grabbed the other arm, giving her whole body a stiff shake. “Stop it.”
“No, you stop it,” she snapped. “I have eyes in my head, Ian. I see the way women look at you. You’re a young stud and I’m a little surprised there hasn’t been a parade of women brightening your doorstep long before now.” She tried to jerk out of his hold. Yeah, he wasn’t having any of that. “Do you know I wondered if you were gay?”
One brow cocked high.
“That was the only excuse I could come up with for the lack of female company.”
“Female company?” He barked a laugh and rolled his eyes.
“What else should I call it?”
He paused, his gaze moving slowly over her features. It scared the shit out of Kayla to think about what he might see. She’d just barely acknowledged her feelings for him, and sure as hell wasn’t ready to accept them or pull a full disclosure. She looked down at their feet and, whatdoyaknow, they were interesting. She curled her toes.
He tipped her chin up with his finger and his eyes penetrated hers. She blinked, trying to hide. But the if-I-can’t-see-you-you’re-not-there routine didn’t work. Ian’s breath warmed her face.
“There’s a perfectly good reason I haven’t installed a turnstile on my front door, Kay.”
“I’m sure.” She clung to bitchy for the only protection she had left.
He smiled. “There’s someone else. There’s always been someone else.”
She suddenly couldn’t breathe. Her heart hopped, skipped and jumped around in her chest.
“Really?” The word came out a breathy whisper.
He nodded. “Really.”
“Who?” Assumptions did more than making asses out of people, they broke hearts. Kayla wasn’t going to put herself out there without a total confession.
He leaned forward and kissed her nose. “Oh, Kay.”
He retreated, taking all the heat from her body with him. She shivered. Just as he’d put a respectable distance between them, she heard the footsteps. Three sets.
“Mom, we’re hungry.” Chase skidded to a stop in the doorway.
“Yeah, we hungy. Ian!” Penelope raced into the room, not stopping until the man plucked her up into his arms. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. “Why you here?”
“I just stopped by to talk to your mom. Can you give us a few minutes alone?”
Chase exited then without another word, tugging Sadie off behind him.
Penelope’s head bounced on her shoulders. “Uh-huh. You stay for lunch?”
He shot a glance at Kay. She nodded.
“Yep,” he told Penelope. “Whatcha cookin’?”
“I no cook, silly.” Pene giggled and captured his face between her tiny
palms. “Mommy cook.”
“Oh.” He sounded surprised by the newsflash. His eyes glittered as he asked Kayla, “Whatcha cookin’?”
If she’d had something to throw at him, she’d have aimed for his smart mouth. His very sexy mouth. He hooked her gaze and some kind of silent communication happened between them. Unfortunately, she needed an interpreter. Because there was no way he meant to offer a I-want-to-make-love-to-you-until-you-can’t-move proposition.
Holy hell! She was going to go up in flames. Any second now she’d start panting. She ran her tongue over her lips and he interrupted the hard, fast, now fantasy to watch the movement, his breath hitching.
“Hello?” Penelope waved her hand in front Ian’s face. “I talk to you.”
Holy shit. What had just happened?
He’d come over to apologize and instead he’d all but admitted his feelings to Kay. He might have dragged her upstairs and driven home if not for the slamming door and thudding approach of the kids. Seriously. He needed to get a grip.
“Ian!” Pene grabbed him by the ears. “You listen to me?”
“Yes.” He cleared his throat and tried to focus on the little monster currently trying to rip his ears off. “I’m listening. What’s up?”
“Pizza.”
“Your mom’s cooking pizza?”
She shook her head. “No. You order pizza.”
“Penelope Black.” Kayla snatched the little girl from his arms. She put her down on the floor then sank to the miniature’s level. “You apologize to Ian. You don’t ever demand he order pizza for you.”
Big blue eyes blinked up at Ian before returning to look at Kayla. “But Daddy order pizza.”
Ian wasn’t sure who got blind-sided by that comment more, him or Kayla. She wavered, tossing a hand back to keep her butt from meeting the floor. Ian jumped in. He sat on the bottom step and turned Penelope to face him.
“Here’s the thing, princess, what your mom is trying to teach you is that it’s impolite to demand people order pizza for you. You’re right, I’m Ian, and I order pizza for you all the time, but maybe if you asked instead of demanded it’d be better. Do you understand?”
Hard Break (Deadlines & Diamonds, #5) Page 15
