by Leigh Riker
There were no new messages on her phone, which she laid aside on the desk. Olivia conducted business from here in the evenings, her “home office.” The small surface of the rosewood antique desk was, as usual, littered with paperwork. She really needed to catch up. And she was stalling with Nick. “What have we talked about? If you’re not ready for your swing in the yard, then you’re not ready to ride Hero.”
His mouth turned down. “Mom.” He drew out her name. It had become increasingly rare for him to call her Mommy. “School’s going to start soon.”
“You have time.” Weeks, because August had barely started, but Nick was right. The days of summer were racing past.
“When I have school, there won’t be time. I’ll have homework,” he said in a dramatic tone. “I’ll never ride Hero again.”
Olivia tried to smooth a hand over his hair, still rumpled from sleep, but he ducked away. Nick hadn’t wakened until after ten o’clock this morning, which she struggled not to take as a bad sign.
“I know that’s how you feel right now, but didn’t someone tell you to be patient?” As soon as she said the words, she wanted to take them back. Nick pounced on that.
“Uncle Sawyer did. Maybe we could ask him if it’s okay?”
Maybe we shouldn’t. But Doc was still out of town. He and Ida had extended their vacation, going from Las Vegas to the Texas Panhandle. They were reportedly having a great time, staying on Padre Island. And Sawyer was, supposedly, still filling in for Doc. She couldn’t deny that a check-up might help ease her fears about Nick’s progress. But no, she didn’t want Sawyer making another house call, invading her personal space and leaving part of himself behind.
Most women, she supposed, would have no problem with that. They might welcome having a handsome man around, but Sawyer’s attractiveness wasn’t all there was to him. If she’d needed that, she could have stayed married to Logan.
Sawyer had left here the last time rather than unburden himself any further about Kedar, and she didn’t want to see that sorrowful look in his eyes again. She didn’t want to care, or feel guilty, yet she did. For Olivia, that was a dangerous admission. She didn’t want another relationship—and Sawyer clearly didn’t, either.
“I think we’ll wait a bit longer, Nick. Your appointment with the neurologist is coming up soon. We can let her make the decision.”
“She’s at the hospital.” Nick had developed a definite aversion to that.
But Sawyer was at the Circle H. Seeing Nick’s ploy, Olivia shook her head. He had taken the passive approach first, asking about Sawyer in a roundabout way as if his interest in his uncle didn’t really involve Nick. Of course, that had led to Hero.
She didn’t avoid the Circle H now as she had for the past three years, and Sawyer had picked up on her feelings, but she didn’t go out of her way to visit the ranch, either—just as she seldom went to Wilson Cattle.
Still. That was all her problem, not Nick’s. I would do anything to make Nick happy. How could she deny him the chance to at least see the little horse he loved?
“All right,” she said at last. “Let’s go visit Hero.”
“Yay!” Nick bounced up and down on her bed. “Thanks, Mom.”
She sighed, then couldn’t resist the warning. “This doesn’t mean you’re going to ride today.”
Her caution fell on deaf ears. Before she finished speaking, Nick was off the bed and shooting across the hall to his room with all the speed of a barrel racer. She could hear him rummaging in his closet, probably for his boots, banging drawers as he searched for a Western-style shirt and clean jeans. He never went near the Circle H these days without dressing the part.
Smiling, Olivia tidied the stack of papers on her desk. She guessed they could wait. She could indulge Nick in this simple pleasure. If Sawyer was there, she’d ask him to check Nick over again. But she wouldn’t dress the same way. She was no longer the cowgirl she’d once been.
Olivia was now a city girl—or at least, temporarily, a Barren girl.
She told herself she liked it that way.
* * *
SAWYER WAS IN the barn, grooming Sundance, when he heard a car pull up in the yard. With a last sweep of the brush over the horse’s hide, he glanced out the open doors and saw Olivia’s car. His pulse began to throb.
Two weeks and he’d managed not to call or see her again. He still felt ashamed that he’d marched out of her house rather than talk about Khalil. He couldn’t.
He also couldn’t get Olivia out of his head. The way the lamplight had shone on her blond hair, gilding it with gold. The unwilling yet concerned look she’d given him that had sent him rushing off. The gentle way she had with her son. Even Nick’s comment, “You’re a good doctor,” had kept Sawyer from going back. He’d wondered how Nick was doing, but—
Nick raced into the barn. “Hi, Uncle Sawyer!” A bag of carrots bumped against his leg as he ran, checking each stall he passed until he stopped in front of Sawyer. Nick had violated the no-running rule and paid zero attention to Olivia’s calls to slow down, but Sawyer was glad he’d come. Saved him the decision to phone Olivia—or show up again at her door.
“Where’s Hero?” Nick asked with a worried look.
“Out in the corral. Taking some sun,” Sawyer said. “How are you?”
Nick didn’t answer. He whirled around, then shot back down the aisle and turned the corner toward the pen where several other horses were turned out, too.
Olivia stood just in the doorway, squinting into the dimly lit stable. Nick had nearly knocked her over.
“And how are you?” she asked, reminding him of his hasty retreat from her house. “I would have called before we came over, but Nick was so eager to get here, I didn’t take the time.”
He held her gaze, all but drinking her in. “You don’t need to call. This will be Nick’s ranch someday.” He added, “Sorry for that—a couple of weeks ago.” Then he rushed past her. “Nick shouldn’t be alone out there. I don’t want him in the corral.”
“I couldn’t agree more.” Breaking the stare they’d been sharing, Olivia followed him outside. They found Nick halfway up the fence, leaning over to offer Hero a carrot. A whole one.
“That’s probably too much for him at once,” Sawyer said. “Here. Let me break off some pieces for you.”
But Hero had already pulled the carrot from Nick’s hands. It dropped to the dirt and the horse nosed it, then stepped on it with one elegant hoof. He nudged part of the mashed carrot, lipped it and finally got some into his mouth, dirt and all. Sawyer could swear he saw the horse smile.
“He likes ’em,” Nick said. “Me and Ava always feed him.”
“He doesn’t usually eat them with dirt.” Sawyer stood inches away from Nick, leaning on the fence in a mirror image of the boy. They both crossed their arms on the top rail. Nick’s feet dangled off the ground but he didn’t seem to care about his precarious perch. “Let’s hope he doesn’t colic tonight.”
“He won’t. He never does.” Nick was obviously the expert. He eyed Sawyer. “You going to look at me again? I think my mom wants you to.”
Olivia sighed. “Nick, just say what you want.”
“I want to ride Hero.”
“There’s a familiar refrain.” Sawyer thought of messing up the boy’s hair to show him he was teasing but he didn’t. His arms stayed on the rail.
Olivia stepped up to his other side, not touching him, either. Even so, Sawyer could feel her heat as if their shoulders had brushed. “Would you mind?”
Sawyer started. For a second, he’d thought she meant for him to touch her. “So that’s why you dropped by today.”
“One reason,” she said, nodding in Nick’s direction. “He’s been begging to see Hero, as you might expect.”
Sawyer smiled. He turned his head toward Nic
k. “Why don’t we let Hero work on his carrot? Bring the rest of the bag. You didn’t forget Sundance, did you?”
At first, Nick was reluctant to leave his horse. He tossed carrots to the other cow ponies in the corral, but once inside the barn, he walked along the aisle with Sawyer, doling out treats to every horse, greeting each one by name.
“You’re going to make a fine rancher, Nick.”
He nodded. “That’s what I want to do.”
Sawyer heard Olivia make a small sound of distress, which he ignored. He assessed Nick as they went, looking for any signs of neurological impairment, not finding any, probing again about his headaches. Nick refused to answer. “You already asked me that.”
“So I did.”
“They’re better,” Nick finally said. “I’m all better.”
“Well.” In the center of the aisle, Sawyer stopped, shoved his hands into the rear pockets of his jeans and rocked back on his boot heels. Olivia kept her distance, standing beside a stall, clearly understanding this was between Nick and Sawyer. “Your mom tells me you have a doctor’s appointment soon.”
“Another doctor,” Nick said, watching a buckskin mare vacuum up a carrot.
“True. Okay, but for now it seems to me you’re in pretty good shape.”
Nick almost danced up and down. The bag of carrots fell to the floor. “Does that mean I can ride? Say yes!”
Olivia stepped in. “No, really. I’d rather he didn’t—”
Sawyer steered her away, raising his eyebrows. “Let me handle this.” He faced Nick again and lowered his voice. “Sometimes moms get...worried,” he said.
“A lot,” Nick muttered, rolling his eyes. He gave Sawyer a hopeful look.
“And sometimes, we...guys have to stick together. So here’s the deal. You can ride Hero today but only in the ring. I’ll move the other horses to the pasture. Go get your saddle and bridle. Then we’ll see what kind of horseman you are.”
With a shout, Nick punched the air. His boots stomping, he ran toward the tack room.
Olivia’s mouth had become a flat line “Sawyer, I don’t like this. I told Nick he could come to the ranch to see his horse. Shouldn’t that be enough?”
“Not for Nick. Come on, Olivia. I won’t let anything happen to him.”
“But...”
Sawyer moved the other horses. He oversaw Nick while he saddled Hero and did a pretty good job. Sawyer readjusted the cinch, tightening it as he said, “I don’t know if your dad has told you this, but after you’re done saddling, your gear and the horse warm up—which means the cinch can get loose. It’s always good to recheck it a bit later.”
“This is the first time I’ve saddled Hero by myself.”
The kid was determined, all right. Sawyer liked his spirit, but no wonder Olivia tended to worry even when she shouldn’t. “Well, then. Lesson learned. You can take him outside now.”
With a lead rope slung over his shoulder, Sawyer walked close to Nick, keeping a careful eye on him while Olivia trailed after them.
In the corral, Nick swung into the saddle like a pro, making Sawyer smile. He glanced back at Olivia. One second, she looked as if she wanted to snatch Nick away and bundle him into her car, the next she seemed resigned. Or as if she trusted Sawyer? He didn’t suppose she often gave up control of her son, and the realization made him...happy.
Nick gathered up his reins, then started off with a quick, light jab of his boot heels in Hero’s sides, but Sawyer caught the bridle. “Hey. Whoa. Today you just sit back and enjoy the ride.” He clipped the lead rope to the bridle.
“I can do it myself!” Nick protested.
“I know you can. Your mother will feel better if you don’t.” Sawyer gave him a man-to-man look. “Are we square?”
“Yeah.” Nick looked away. “But I’ll feel like a baby.”
“You’re on the horse, aren’t you? Count your blessings.”
Olivia’s thank-you look was enough to melt his bones.
CHAPTER TWELVE
“FASTER!” NICK CRIED.
For almost an hour, Sawyer had guided Nick’s horse around the outdoor corral in the hot summer sun, chatting to both Hero and Nick as they walked. The two, man and boy with the lovely gray gelding, made Olivia’s heart ache in a good way. Here was Sawyer McCord, a cowboy again just like Logan, though they’d both turned their backs on the Circle H years ago. Though Sawyer would probably leave soon once more.
Sawyer had just urged Hero into a slow lope, much to Nick’s delight. Olivia bit her tongue. Really, there was no way Nick could get hurt again. Sawyer stayed right with him, and today she liked how he treated her son even more than she had the night he came to their house. Unlike Olivia, he knew how to manage Nick’s obsession with his first horse. Had he been as good with that other child in Kedar? What had gone wrong?
She was waiting by the gate when Sawyer led Hero out, Nick still grinning. “Did you see, Mom? We almost cantered.”
Sawyer sent her a look. “Not quite. Hero’s got good gaits, but I doubt I could keep up with him at that pace.” He wasn’t even breathing hard, and Olivia looked away from his shirt, now plastered to his shoulders, chest and flat abdomen. He was saving face for Nick so he wouldn’t feel as if he were on some pony ride at a summer fair. Of course he wanted to go fast. That was her son. Years ago, she had to admit, that would have been her, too, flying like the wind on Jasmine.
And that was, always, like Sawyer. His impulsiveness had cost Olivia her favorite horse. She found it hard to forget that when she was here at the Circle H, so close to Wilson Cattle and that meadow in between.
She walked with Sawyer and Nick into the barn. She watched them pick Hero’s dainty hooves to remove clumps of dirt and any stones, wipe him down, then groom him before they put him in his stall.
“Thank you,” she said, knowing how stiff she must sound.
Sawyer didn’t seem to notice. “Come on up to the house. I think we have some Popsicles in the freezer. Sound good to you, Nick?”
Nick nodded, his dark blue eyes filled with happiness. “I hope there’s a cherry one. And I want milk in my dinosaur mug. I keep it here.”
In the kitchen, which had been hers while she was married to Logan, Olivia looked around. Blossom had made a few changes, added bright new dish towels, a set of ceramic canisters with a pretty flower design and a lace-trimmed cloth on the roughhewn table. Which made Olivia smile. She could imagine what Sam thought of that. As if Blossom were here now, a pot of coffee stood ready on the counter. Had Sam made it, or Sawyer?
He handed Nick his cherry Popsicle, then put on a cartoon for him in the family room. Now he and Olivia were alone together as they’d been in her living room. Sawyer led her to the front porch and her nerves tightened.
“He’s a good kid, Olivia.”
“Yes, he is. I love him so much it hurts. I’m trying not to worry about him—really, I am—but Logan thinks I still go overboard. You should have seen me right before he and I split up. Believe me, I was far better controlled at Farrier General after Nick fell than I was the night of the flood here.”
“Bad memories.” He braced his arms on the porch railing next to Olivia. “That includes Jasmine.” He added, “And me.”
Olivia couldn’t deny that. “Well, if you hadn’t dared me to race you to the other end of that meadow—”
“I made a mistake. Seems I keep making them,” he said. “But if I never told you how bad I felt about what happened to Jasmine—and having to make that choice—I’m telling you now.”
He was sorry for a lot more than that. She could see it in his eyes, the same way she had that night at her house, and she guessed Kedar was never very far from his mind. Was it better to talk about her horse—as if the mare could be more important than what had happened in Kedar? Safer, yes, she deci
ded. For now. She owed him that much.
Olivia heard the wistfulness, not anger this time, in her tone. “She was the best horse I ever owned...”
“I’ve said I’m sorry. I know that’s not enough, but it’s all I have.”
She met his eyes. “Yes, and I could hate you for that but I don’t. That day, we were foolish—not only you—and poor Jasmine paid the price. I didn’t have to accept your dare, but there was something more in the air and...even knowing the danger, the risk, I couldn’t seem to tell you no. So I’m as guilty as you are.”
Sawyer looked surprised. “I’m still sorry.”
“As you said, there was nothing else you could have done. I knew that then. But I wanted to blame you.”
He straightened. “Olivia...”
“No, you were right. Putting her down was the only solution. I’m glad she didn’t suffer any longer than she did.” She was about to ask him what else had been driving Sawyer that day when he cleared his throat now but didn’t speak. She held her tongue. Olivia could feel his warmth, so close their arms were nearly touching. From the cottonwoods by the creek, a chorus of summer locusts began to sing.
The air all around seemed charged. Reminding herself that she didn’t want any closeness with him, Olivia took a step back from the rail. This was enough for today—for always, if she was smart. Sawyer had too many shadows hidden deep inside. He wouldn’t stay here long, as she’d told Nick. She didn’t want another serious relationship with a man, including Clint, at least not now. And with Sawyer, never. She’d tried marriage with Logan, finally started dating again with Clint and concluded all over again that love was not in the cards for her.
Olivia turned toward the screen door. “I’ll get Nick,” she said. “We should go. Thank you again for being so kind to him today.” She forced a smile over her shoulder. “He’ll probably be talking about this for the next week, asking questions...”
Sawyer had left his place at the railing. Olivia had her hand on the door. He walked toward her, his deep blue eyes serious, and he put his hands lightly on her shoulders to hold her in place. His voice was low, intimate. “Olivia. We were friends once, weren’t we?”
