“I made it just fine on my own, thank you very much,” I deadpan. “Do you know how often I have to get dressed up?”
“You have dinners and functions you attend for hockey, and you wear suits for games. I don’t see how this is any different.” She steps into the closet with me and takes the tie from my hands. “First of all, this color does not match the shirt you have on, and second, you look like a hot mess. Your pants are full of wrinkles. Were you rolling around on the floor in them, or did you find them in a pile of dirty clothes?” She holds out her other hand, frowning. “Take them off, and let me iron them for you.”
“No.” I step back from her. “I’m not taking off my pants in front of you, Jenny.”
“Carter, it’s just me, your big sis, the same girl who dressed and fed you for most of your life. Stop being such a weirdo. I have seen you in your boxers a thousand times. It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”
Even around my own sister, I have body issues I cannot shake. Despite my current conditioning and muscular physique, the same fat kid mentality lingers, always there in the back of my mind. I will probably be somewhat self-conscious for the rest of my life. It’s not something I have ever grown out of as an adult.
As an overweight child, kids picked on me throughout most of school. I never had many friends because of it. Trusting people is hard for me, which is why I have trouble with letting Sydney into my life. But I want to change for her.
If she can drop her high and mighty act and show me the real Sydney, we can make this work. I see a lot of myself in her sometimes. Her self-doubt and insecurity I can identify with. I know it’s there. We have that in common. She doesn’t have to say a word for me to figure that out. Her eyes tell me everything I need to know.
After I stop being a baby, I strip off my pants and hand them over to Jenny. “Thank you,” I say, staring at the ground, ashamed that I acted like an idiot. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”
She places her tiny palm flat on my back. “This is what we do for each other. I hope everything works out for you, Carter. You need a good woman in your life. You need someone to make you whole again.”
“The missing piece of the puzzle.”
She’s so tiny in comparison to me. How we share the same DNA is beyond me. I’m almost as tall as the ceiling and more than twice her size in width. Jenny could fit under my arm she’s so small. Just like our mother. I inherited my father’s height and build. But I did not get his temperament. Thank God. We are nothing alike regarding personality, and because of that, we have never gotten along.
“I hope she’s the one, or at least the one that will lead you to her. I would like to see you settle down at some point,” Jenny says, clutching the gray slacks in her hands. “I think it would be good for you. The stability is what you need. You can’t live your life this way. The one-night stands and puck bunnies need to stop.”
“I don’t hook up with that many puck bunnies,” I say because it’s the truth. “But I’m a man, and I have needs. I don’t expect you to understand that.”
Explaining why I keep my shirt on during sex is never easy. So, I try to avoid dealing with women who want to know more, which is why Sydney scared me away in the beginning. Her search for the truth was too much for me to handle. I’m still not ready, but at least now, I want to give it a shot.
“Oh, I understand perfectly. We all have needs. I just wish you would find someone that can help you move on. I hate seeing you live your life this way.” Jenny shoves my pants under her arm and grabs hold of my wrist. She brings it up to eye level and runs her fingers over the script writing that marks my skin, reminding me of my past. “Maybe she will be the light you need.”
“That’s what you’re for,” I tell her, with a devious grin.
Jenny frowns, not the least bit entertained. “It’s time you find someone who can shine the light on your darkness, Carter. And it can’t be me. Not anymore. I live too far away now to pull you out of your funks. You need someone who can be there for you when you’re too weak to fight it on your own.”
“I’m not weak,” I spit back, my words thick on my tongue.
“I know that, Carter. I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant. You’re the strongest man I have ever known. Too bad you have never seen that for yourself.” Jenny runs her hand down my arm to soothe me, the same way she did when I was a kid.
After our mother had died, Jenny did this every night when I had trouble sleeping and after she rubbed the cream into the gashes my father had ripped open with his belt or whatever he had near him at the time.
We stand there for a minute, unblinking and unsure of what to say to each other. Jenny knows what I’m thinking without even speaking. If anyone knows my darkness, it’s Jenny. No one understands what I had gone through more than my sister. Our father made her watch every awful thing he did to me just to torture her. That was his way of taking out his anger on Jenny because I always swooped in to save her from his wrath.
I have to leave in thirty minutes, and I still need to trim my beard and shower. While I can guarantee Sydney will be fashionably late, I like to be on time. Maybe a few minutes early, if possible. I have this thing about showing up late.
“I have to get ready,” I tell Jenny, breaking the silence between us. We were quiet far too long without moving or breathing, and it was starting to freak me out.
As if Kyle heard my prayer for someone to save me from my thoughts and this conversation, his voice blares through the speaker of the baby monitor shoved into Jenny’s jean pocket.
She glances down at the walkie-talkie like device and removes it from her pocket to hit a button to silence his screams. “Well, I better get him settled. Sounds like he’s up from his nap. Can you set up the ironing board for me, so I can fix these pants and have you looking like a respectable man for this date? You are going to win this girl over, and move on with your life if it kills me. No more dwelling on the past, Carter.”
I nod. “I will try my best. Miracles don’t happen overnight.”
“They kind of do. That’s why they’re called miracles.” She flashes a playful smirk in my direction. “I’m keeping my fingers crosses that you get the happy ending you deserve. Now, let me take care of Kyle and these pants while you hop in the shower.”
I smile so wide my face hurts. “Thank, Sis.”
“Anytime.” She returns the smile for a second before she exits the closet, leaving me once again to sort out my feelings. I really need to get my shit together before I get to Sydney’s apartment.
For whatever reason, I am always early. I don’t know why I can never show up at the exact time I am supposed to be somewhere, but that’s how it works out. My sister says it’s a good quality to have and that women appreciate men who are on time. Then, there’s Sydney. The woman is always late, never on time for anything. She would probably show up an hour late to her own wedding.
Sitting on her couch, I wait patiently—or maybe not so patiently—as I tap my fingers on my thigh and to the beat playing in my head. It’s a rap song I had heard on the radio before I came up to her apartment. I can’t remember the name, only the beat, which is enough to help take my mind off things. Sydney makes me so damn nervous. I have no idea what it is about this woman that has given me anxiety from the start.
Once we’re situated and start talking, I lower my guard around her and feel more comfortable as the seconds pass. But at the beginning of each encounter with Sydney, I get these butterflies in my stomach that I cannot shake. I hate that she has this effect on me. She also has another effect on me when she steps out from her bedroom, dressed like a fucking goddess.
In a long, flowy white dress that drops to the floor, sweeping around her ankles, she looks like an angel. I have had my fair share of models, but Sydney is…I don’t even know what it is specifically about her that I love so much. But she’s incredible. I suppose it’s just because she’s Sydney, an insanely beautiful mess. And I could not be more attracte
d to her.
Dark curls tumble out from the pins she used to clip her hair behind her ears. She tucks them back in place and runs her hands down the front of the dress that hugs her in all the right spots. I practically salivate over her, my dick growing hard beneath my slacks and tenting my pants. That didn’t take long.
If I want this to work between us, we have to make it to the restaurant and eat our dinner before I have my way with her. Even though I’d rather skip the meal and get right to dessert.
I stand up from the couch, hoping she doesn’t notice my erection, but she never misses a beat. She’s like a shark sniffing blood.
She glances down at my pants and smiles. “I see both of you are ready for the occasion.”
“Oh, I’m ready,” I say, strolling toward her. “You’re mine tonight. After dinner, I plan to spend the rest of the night feasting on your pussy.”
“Carter,” she says, swatting at me, her nails touching me just enough to rake along my skin before I step closer. “Don’t tease me, or we won’t even make it to wherever you are taking me.”
With her in my arms, I plant a kiss on her lips. No tongue, only a soft peck to let her know that I plan to take what she had promised tonight.
“I’m hungry so don’t even think about skipping out on our date.” Her tone has it’s usual authority as if she makes the rules, and I am merely here to follow them.
“I wouldn’t dream of it, Princess.” Grabbing the back of her head, I bring her lips to mine once more, staring into her eyes.
But I stop myself from slipping my tongue inside her mouth. Because we both know we will never leave the apartment once we kiss, and I have to do this the right way. The way Jenny had suggested I do things. My sister is never wrong, which is why I have to listen to her advice.
After Jenny had convinced me to play hockey with the kids at the rec center, I almost backed out. I was big, awkward, and far too out of shape to keep up with the boys, but Coach Tucker took me under his wing and helped me out. Between Jenny and my coach, I got my shit together. If anyone was able to shine a light on my life when I needed it most, it was that man, my savior, and the father I had always wanted. But Jenny was my constant, my rock.
She never missed a practice or game, always made sure I was clean, fed, and on time. Look at me now. Who would have predicted that the chubby kid from a small town in Michigan would end up where I am today? Definitely not me. The old me sure as hell couldn’t get a woman like Sydney, but my life changed over the years. Maybe Jenny is right about moving on. It’s time, and I want to do it with Sydney.
Holding Sydney against my chest and taking in the scent of her citrus shampoo, I gaze into her eyes. “Are you ready to see what I have planned for us?”
She nods with a smile crossing her lips. “I was born ready. Lead the way, big guy.”
Chapter 14
Sydney
After a fantastic dinner at Luciano’s, Carter drove back to my apartment with every intention of him staying the night. We both knew going into this date that it would end with sex. But this time, I want it to mean something. Carter seems different, more open with me after our short break. Maybe the time apart was all we needed for him to realize he had made a mistake.
I tried to apologize at dinner for being too forceful with him in the beginning. True to my nature, I pushed, hoping to get my way. But the only thing I ended up with was a broken heart. He sure showed me because I learned my lesson. Now, we’re headed in the right direction. I hope.
By the time I get out of his Hummer, Carter is at my side, lifting me over his shoulder, like a damn caveman. Without a word, he treks through the parking lot and into the building before ripping the keys from my hand. Within seconds of reaching the door, he shoves the key inside and kicks it open. The fire burning behind his deep brown eyes is so intense that one look goes straight between my thighs.
I already know he will be rough with me. He told me about his desires over dinner. We didn’t go into them in detail. All he said was that he likes things a certain way and that he makes the rules in the bedroom. No more games. Carter was a good sport in the beginning, but I can tell he’s done with my usual antics. This time, I need to give in to him. And I will. Because I want this to work between us.
Seeing a more forward side to Carter excites me, makes me wet in anticipation. My nipples are so hard they are popping through the thin fabric. This dress didn’t pair well with a bra, so my girls out on display more than usual tonight. Carter had trouble focusing on anything but my huge rack all through dinner, and I can’t wait for him to shove his face between them. Every time he licked his lips, I imagined all the naughty things we will do tonight.
Once Carter sets me down on the floor in my bedroom, he lifts my dress over my head, not wasting another second. We have waited so long for this moment that nervous energy dances along my skin, causing the anxiety to creep up from the back of my throat, suffocating me. I hadn’t expected to be this nervous, but everything needs to be perfect.
With my bare chest on display, the chill in the room causes bumps to dot my skin, my nipples getting even harder under Carter’s gaze. He steps closer, massaging my breasts in his hands, rolling his thumbs over the tiny buds. Leaning down to kiss me, he moves one hand to my ass and lifts me up, as if I weigh nothing.
I wrap my arms around his neck and dig my legs into his lower back, twisting my fingers through his hair as I pull him closer to deepen the kiss. The sparks that fly between us send shockwaves through my body, igniting every pleasure point at the same time. His tongue is like magic, and I can only imagine how good it will feel when he’s licking my pussy.
Panting and unable to speak, we break away from each other just long enough to get some air, before Carter lifts me up higher, so he can suck on my nipples, tugging at them lightly with his teeth. A brush of heat sends a blush down my cheeks that spreads throughout my body like wildfire. So far, this is everything I thought a night with Carter Donovan would be like.
After he’s had his fill of the girls, he sets me down on the floor, my thighs smacking together. I’m trembling with need, desperate for more of him. Starting with his belt, Carter slips it from the loops of his black slacks, throwing it on the floor next to him. The room is dark, with barely enough light to see his face, but I have studied every curve in the time we have been together.
He blinks a few times, his gaze never leaving mine, as he pushes his pants, along with his boxers, down to his ankles.
My heart thumps out of my chest from the excitement of the unknown. We haven’t spoken a word since Carter dragged me up to my apartment over his shoulder. I feel as though I should say or do something, but I know he’s in control in the bedroom. This time, Carter will dominate me and take what he wants, fulfilling my every desire. While I like to control the men in my life, I prefer they show a certain amount of force in the bedroom. Luckily, Carter has no problem exercising that power over me.
“Kneel,” he finally says, after stepping out of his shoes and clothes and kicking them behind him. Carter places his large palm on my head and guides me to the floor in the front of him.
I love seeing the carnal side of Carter. Just the thought of his huge cock inside me forces me to lean forward and take his length in my hand, stroking gently before picking up the pace. I look up at him as I do this to gauge his reaction.
With a sexy-as-fuck glaze in his eyes, Carter takes a chunk of my curls between his fingers, the thick muscles in his arms flexing as he tightens his grip. When I lean forward to lick the tip of his erection, he pulls my head closer, ensuring that my tongue makes contact with his sensitive skin.
“Fuck,” Carter mumbles under his breath, a hissing sound escaping his lips as he tilts his head back. “Suck it, Princess.”
I give him lazy licks until he lowers his head and locks onto me. I want him to watch me suck his cock. It turns me on so much that my juices slide down my inner thigh, causing my heart rate to speed up in the process.
&nb
sp; He groans. “Don’t tease me. I’m done with the fucking games.” Then, he pushes my mouth onto his cock, forcing me to take most of him all at once. Carter is big. No, scratch that. He’s fucking huge. So, taking this much of him without preparation is not an easy task. But I handled it like a pro, working his shaft with one hand and massaging his balls with the other.
I can feel him in the back of my throat as he rakes his fingers through my hair, practically choking me again when he lifts his hips. He can last long. I’ll give him that. After what feels like an eternity, I continue sucking and stroking before I can tell I have him. He’s almost there.
“Fuck, baby,” he hisses. “I’m going to…” His voice trails off.
I love hearing the sounds he makes when he comes. Listening to him is enough to make me so fucking wet that my juices are pooling between my legs. My pussy throbs for Carter and his big cock, the longing for him growing with each second that passes.
After I swallow, I peek up at Carter, waiting for him to give the next instruction. I will do whatever he wants tonight. I owe him that much. The time we had spent apart was enough to make me realize my games are stupid, and if I want Carter, I have to give in sometimes. I would be lying to myself if I didn’t admit how much handing over the reins to Cater turns me on.
In a soft, sensual tone, he says, “Good girl.” He pats my head as if I’m a dog that he’s about to give a bone.
I should care, because the old me would, but not this time. Now that I have Carter back, I refuse to do anything that could fuck this up. I belong to him.
“Get on the bed and spread your legs for me.” His tone indicates an order.
I stand up, looking at him for a few seconds before I do as he says. Sinking into the mattress, I scoot along the bed until my back hits a wall of pillows. I lean my head against the wooden headboard and open my legs, taking in the sight of Carter as he crawls between my thighs. He kisses my bare skin, torturing me, as he lowers himself so that he can bury his face between my legs.
Donovan (Face-Off Series Book 3) Page 13
