“They didn’t want to live in your castle?”
“Sometimes they did. Mum preferred being here.”
“I can see why.”
Mum had been a free spirit, which was what my stuffy father had probably seen in her—a barefoot island beauty.
“Your father was an Earl?”
“Yes. He served in the Navy just like me.”
Xavier called over. “His dad was an Admiral.”
“That’s why he loved your mum,” said Emily brightly. “She was from the Caribbean. They were opposites.”
“True.”
“James, you seem happier here.”
Because you’re here, Em. I didn’t say it though. Instead I went with, “It’s a beautiful place. Easy to relax.”
Xavier made a noise of chastisement, like he knew I was denying, or at least hiding, my true feelings. He shook his head in quiet condemnation.
“How did you end up in England?” asked Emily.
“At eight I was sent to further my education at Ludgrove in Berkshire.”
“Why were you sent there?”
“My dad attended the same school.”
Xavier came over. “His mum died so he was sent away from his beloved Jamaica to attend a stuffy boy’s school. That’s why he’s so mercurial.”
“Eight was very young.” She pointed at me. “I see through that hard shell of yours, Mister.”
“You only see what he wants you to see,” quipped Xavier.
Emily stared at him as though sensing he’d already chipped away at the details of my past.
“One day he’ll treat you to his Jamaican accent,” said Xavier. “You’ll fall hard when he does.”
Emily looked at me with an expression that said she had already fallen.
What could have been…
But she belonged to him.
Just as I had once.
And I knew the power of his love—that all-consuming passion from a man able to read the whispers of a soul.
Should I allow myself to follow what my heart desired? How did anyone sustain a ménage à trois for a lifetime? It was too easy with us and surely that was where the flaw began.
“Why did you lose your accent?” Emily broke into my meandering thoughts.
Xavier looked pained. “The school bullied it out of him.”
I placed my book on the small table beside me. “You can take a boy out of Jamaica…”
“I enjoy hearing your stories.” Emily flicked a wet strand of hair out of her face. “I like getting to know you better.”
She was unwittingly taunting me by standing so close, looking windswept and sexy as hell. I wanted to grab her hand and pull her on top of me…run my fingers through her damp locks and caress her sun-kissed skin.
“You had no brothers or sisters?” she asked.
“Just me.”
“Were you lonely?”
Xavier huffed out a sigh. “He threw himself into his studies and James ended up being one of the youngest commanders the Navy has ever seen.”
“In a nutshell,” I replied.
“You climbed the ranks fast like your father,” Xavier added.
“I resigned my Navy commission early.” Which blew that plan up.
I took my life and made it unrecognizable—then flew out of the ashes like a phoenix, rendering my enemies dead.
Xavier had been right there beside me as we’d taken on the British and Russian political oligarchs and brought them down one by one. The only man left to kill had been Ivor Mikhail, but I’d eventually caught up with him on Zane’s yacht. Revenge for Victoria’s death had finally been mine.
Though the pain in my chest still feels the same.
On that night, Emily had seen what I was capable of—yet she was still here, looking at me with a loving expression.
“Now you run Pervade.” She smiled at her mischief.
“You’ll never get to the center of him, Em,” said Xavier, smirking.
She stared down at me. “You have more secrets?”
“No,” I said with a shake of my head. “Nothing that would interest you, anyway. All boring matters that are of little significance.”
Xavier used his hands to imitate an explosion.
“Thank you for your discretion.” I emphasized my annoyance.
There were many secrets between us. We’d become dependent on each other, which had turned into a liability. On this island lay another secret…one kept for decades. One that could change the landscape of Britain if it was ever divulged.
Xavier was unabashedly staring at Emily’s breasts. She turned and caught him ogling, the look they shared sparking fireworks between them.
She sidled up to Xavier and tugged on the waistband of his shorts, exposing his erection. Laughing, she then turned and padded toward the sparkling pool, diving into the water. Xavier slipped out of his trunks and ran after her, completely naked. He jumped in and made a big splash, the droplets reaching me and cooling my skin.
I pushed myself up, intent on letting them have this moment alone together. After all they’d been through, they shouldn’t be denied. As I reached the door, I glanced back at the pool and felt a surge of joy when I saw them kissing.
Love would find a way…for them, anyway. Knowing they were happy would have to be enough for me.
When I made it to the kitchen, I found a glass and poured myself a drink. A sudden movement across the room made me jolt in surprise.
I drew in a sharp breath at the vision of Louis Coburg standing by my pantry door.
He looked so much like his father, a devastating reality we rarely spoke about. He’d been separated from his family at a young age, and that fact still caused my heart to flinch every time I saw him.
His high cheekbones and arched eyebrows made him painfully handsome—beautiful, really. That rare elegance of his could draw unwanted attention. He was only ten years younger than me, but I still felt paternal toward him. Even though he’d experienced a great loss in his young life, he’d always maintained a gentle outlook.
Louis stepped out of the shadows and gave me a warm smile…the kind that hid decades of him trying to deal with not only what he is, but who he is.
Every time I stood in the same room with him, I was filled with reverence.
“What the hell happened to you?” He was staring at my head.
I reached up and touched my bandage. “It was nothing, really. Merely had a run in with a jet ski.”
He gave me a pained expression. “You know, sometimes I think you’re completely mental, James.”
“Well, you’re far more important than me, Louis.”
“Not true.” He came closer. “Take better care. Without you, I’m royally fucked.”
Emily
Finally, I was able to breathe properly, because the sense of dread crowding my mind was lifting. I was feeling safe once more in Xavier’s embrace. Having watched him take a running jump into the pool reminded me of his playful side. We would always be drawn into each other’s arms.
Xavier beamed with happiness.
“I wasn’t sure if you still felt the same,” I admitted.
“I need you to be sure about us.”
“How could I not? You’re everything to me.”
His body crushed me against the tile. I wrapped my arms around his neck as his fingers tangled in my hair, his hands roaming my body fervently, proving he’d been as starved for me as I was for him. A shiver passed over me when his lips trailed along my shoulder and slid up my neck. His tongue forced my mouth open and I felt his passion flow through me with overwhelming need.
Xavier broke our kiss reluctantly and said, “I’ll always find you, Em.”
Then he became savage in the way he possessed me, driven to be as close as possible, his tongue tangling with mine as we expressed what we meant to each other—what we’d failed to say since yesterday, our sighs revealing the depth of our intimacy.
What we had together felt so pure, his nakedness
sacred as his body pressed urgently into mine. He snapped off my thong with a cheeky grin.
I stole a glance over to where James had been lying. I couldn’t help it—I didn’t want to hurt him. I was relieved to see he had stepped into the house. Even after everything, he didn’t deserve to feel pushed out.
Xavier cupped my face and forced me to look at him. I could tell he needed confirmation that I was doing okay. Was he thinking of James, too? Was he sensing something missing?
Wrapping my legs around his waist, I held onto him as though this was the only way to keep us together. My body jolted when his hand cupped my pussy.
We fell into a fit of laughter, and then silenced each other with more passionate kisses. No longer could we pretend we were not meant to be—we had proved we needed each other.
His cock tapped my pussy, demanding entrance, and my body welcomed him as he pushed all the way in. We froze for a beat as though needing to catch our breath over finding each other again, locked together in a perfect union.
Xavier’s hand reached for my right breast and pinched my nipple, sending a shudder of pleasure all the way down between my thighs. I squirmed on his erection, squeezing him tightly, never wanting to separate. He lowered his head a little and drew my pert nipple into his mouth and sucked, eliciting a moan from me.
“So tight,” he growled into my ear, sending a shiver up my spine.
He nipped my earlobe. “I need to taste you.”
With ease he lifted me up and onto the edge of the pool. As I lay back, he yanked me toward him and buried his face between my thighs, his tongue lashing my clit and causing me to writhe.
Self-consciously, I glanced toward the house.
“He’ll come around.” Xavier caressed my inner thigh to comfort me.
“He doesn’t want us anymore.”
Xavier shook his head and I realized how terrible that sounded…as though he wasn’t enough for me. The man who had been in my every waking thought since I’d last seen him.
I sat up and stroked his face to comfort him. “I didn’t mean—”
“Emily,” he said, his voice low. “James needs time.”
“For all three of us to be together?”
“I can see how much he cares for us. He’s just…”
I stared down at Xavier, seeing the pain in his expression. “He listens to you. Tell him how much we love him.”
“He knows.”
“I don’t want him hurting.”
“All I want right now is to have you again, Em.”
I leaned forward and clutched his hair, pulling him between my thighs, refusing to deny myself the pleasure I’d been yearning for. I surrendered to the blissful sensations of Xavier expressing his love for me with lavish strokes of his tongue.
Rising, and rising, and rising…
My entire body shuddered as the intensity of the orgasm claimed me.
My breathing ragged, I sank back into the water, into Xavier’s arms. Wrapping my legs around his waist again, I wriggled closer until I felt the tip of his erection. With one shove he was inside me.
We rocked against each other and the sensations felt so good. I rested my forehead against his as we moved slowly, savoring our pleasure.
Digging my fingernails into his back, I felt Xavier shiver as he began to move faster. My body responded to his fevered thrusts and I focused on the rising pleasure, the drive to reach oblivion…
Xavier whispered, “I love you.”
I came hard, gripped by unrelenting shudders as pleasure rippled through my body. Xavier stilled and spilled his heat inside me.
We pulled back a little, both of us breathless and searching each other’s faces as though needing to know this was real, our grins wide with joy.
“I’m sorry for everything, Em.”
“Me too.”
“You had every right to be on that yacht. To pursue your dream.” He dipped his mouth to kiss mine.
I whispered, “Don’t ever leave me again.”
“Never.”
Xavier’s promise caused a rush of happiness to surge up inside me. Our hearts had drawn us back together. Surely this proved we were meant to be.
He rested his forehead against mine. “I want James to be this happy.”
“Me too,” I agreed. “More than anything.”
“Go get him.” He nodded with conviction. “Tell him we won’t take no for an answer.”
I pushed myself up and out of the pool. Grabbing a towel, I dried myself off and then dropped it on a lounger. Not caring that I was stark naked, I padded toward the house.
I hurried through the kitchen door and then stopped in my tracks when I saw James wasn’t alone. Mortified, I put one arm across my breasts and my other hand between my thighs.
“Em.” James turned to look at the tall, handsome man standing opposite, and threw him an apologetic glance.
The stranger respectfully turned his back on me.
James yanked off his T-shirt and tossed it to me. “Put this on.”
Quickly, I tugged his shirt over my head and dragged it all the way down until it covered my thighs. “Sorry, I didn’t know you had a visitor.”
“It’s fine.” The young man turned around to face me and gave me a reassuring smile. “I’m naked under my clothes, too.” He winked to lessen the tension.
I laughed and looked over at James. He rolled his eyes.
The stranger was beautiful and had the kindest brown eyes. He was in his late twenties, maybe. He was dressed in “island garb”—a white shirt and beige khakis.
I realized this might be the man Xavier had been with all this time.
“I’m Emily.”
“Louis.” He threw a wry smile over at James, who gave him a nod.
Xavier burst into the kitchen and stopped abruptly. He’d wrapped a towel around his waist and dried off a little, his dark blond hair sticking up all crazy.
“Hey, Louis.” He came to stand behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.
It dawned on me that, had Louis stepped into the garden, he’d have caught us going at it.
“I hear you’re a talented violinist, Emily,” said Louis.
Xavier nodded. “She is.”
The three men swapped wary glances.
Louis raised the bag in his hand. “I brought mangos, fresh from the garden. Great for making margaritas.”
Glancing from one man to the other, I detected the awkwardness between them and a sinking feeling settled in my gut.
“Emily.” James gave a nod toward the door.
“I’ll get dressed,” I said. “It was lovely to meet you, Louis.” I hurried out, trying to get a read on the uncomfortable silence.
Pausing briefly in the hallway, I strained to hear their conversation, hoping to find out what was going on between them. I knew it was wrong, but there’d been something intense in the way James and Xavier and Louis had interacted without words.
Louis’ quiet voice reached my ears. “She’s quite lovely.”
“In more ways than one,” said James.
“I’m sorry,” added Louis. “I just wanted to check on Xavier.”
“You shouldn’t be here,” James whispered.
“I know.” Louis sounded sad.
“Thank you for the mangos,” Xavier piped up. “I’ll make cocktails.”
“Are you still coming to my charity event?” asked Louis.
“Of course,” James replied, his tone kind.
“Emily is very young, James.”
“She’s with Xavier.”
“Right.” Louis’ tone revealed his skepticism.
“I’ll walk you part of the way back,” said James. “Give you some company on the way home.”
Quickly, I turned the corner to avoid being seen.
James
Standing in my bedroom, I clutched Victoria’s silver framed photo to my chest, allowing memories of our happiest times to flood my mind.
God, I miss you.
I mi
ss everything about you.
I miss us.
Grief could only be held at bay for so long, the loss of her threading its way through every sinew of my being. It hit me like a punch to the chest, as visceral as the day I’d walked into the ICU and seen my wife unconscious, hooked to numerous tubes, her face unrecognizable.
Don’t fucking do it.
Don’t go there…
Painful, loving memories filled each room in this house. It was impossible to even imagine a future here without her.
But seeing Xavier and Emily happy together made me remember what a true romance could be like.
I tried to suppress this feeling of uncertainty that threatened the plans I’d made.
I hadn’t been able to hold on to Victoria…or protect her. I’d not been there when she’d needed me the most. With that truth burning a hole in my heart, I placed the silver frame back in the drawer and closed it.
I turned around to see Emily standing in the doorway.
The brief annoyance I felt at this invasion into my personal space lifted when I took in her beauty. She was still barefoot, wearing my T-shirt, her damp hair curling around her face.
A few steps in her direction and I’d closed the gap between us. “Everything okay?” Not waiting for the answer, I eased past her into the hall and started to walk away.
“Did I do something wrong?” she called after me.
“No,” I said, pausing with my back to her. “Everything’s fine.”
“Doesn’t feel fine.”
I turned to look at her. “I’m happy to see you and Xavier getting on so well.”
“I wanted to talk to you about that.”
“There’s nothing to talk about, Em.” I made a gesture to reassure her. “You two are great together.”
“We have your approval?”
Running my hand over my five o’clock shadow, I gave her a nod. “Yes, of course.”
She breathed a sigh of relief.
What was I to say? That keeping them apart in London had been a mistake? I’d done what I’d believed was best for national security. For Xavier. Even though I knew what she meant to him. I’d seen the benefit of her in his life.
Shit. Benefit? I was even shocked by my own coldness sometimes.
Pervade Duet: Pervade London & Pervade Montego Bay Page 43
