by Lewis, L. K.
“First, layered with cute jeans and boots they are totally on trend, and second, I’ve put on a few pounds and am trying to find ways to camouflage it. You know how my mom feels about wearing clothes that accentuate the negative. It’s been way too cold to run outside lately and you know how much I hate the gym, so I’m just covering up until I can shed the holiday weight,” I explain, hoping she won’t catch on to the fact that I’ve been running almost every day and the only place I’ve gained any weight is a very obvious place in my belly. Thankfully I have a long torso, and my bump doesn’t show too much right now. Blazers have become my best friend at work these days.
“I’ll admit you can pull off the look quite nicely, just don’t forget that you have to look your best to attract the best, isn’t that what your mother is always preaching? Or does it not really matter because you’ve already done a good job of attracting the very handsome and eligible Adrian Thompson?”
I walk to the checkout counter, baggy sweaters in hand, and say to Amanda, “Adrian and I are just friends. Sure, we have been spending a lot of time together and he’s hoping for more, but I just can’t go there right now. I’m still not over Drake. I tried to move on with Adrian and there is definitely chemistry and a whole lot of sexual tension there, but I just can’t do it, Amanda. Not yet anyway,” I say. My hormones have been running wild lately and the topic of Drake gets me visibly upset as my cheeks flush and my eyes start to water.
“Okay, change of subject… I know you’ll be with your family over the next few days for Christmas Eve and Christmas, but what are you doing for New Year’s? Garrett and I are trying to decide between spending our first New Year’s Eve together with a few hundred of our nearest and dearest at a bar downtown, or just doing something low key.”
“I’m not sure yet. Adrian told me to keep that day open, so I’m sure he has something up his sleeve,” I say.
“Ooh…that’s promising. You know what the first kiss at midnight means don’t you?” Amanda teases.
“Yes I do, and I thought we were changing the subject,” I tease back, trying to relax and lighten the mood as I grab my shopping bag and we head for the door.
****
When I get home from shopping a while later I make room in my closet for my new, less form-fitting clothing, and stop for a moment to admire my changing body in the mirror. I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be able to conceal my bump and widening hips, especially from my mother. Fortunately, maternity wear has become much more fashionable over the years and I’ve taken a few tips from the glossies on how celebrity moms-to-be hide their growing bumps from the paparazzi.
After a long, hot bath I wrap the last of my Christmas gifts for my parents and finish getting ready to spend the next few days at their house. My parents have always been so over the top making the entire Christmas holiday so special for the three of us as a family. I’m looking forward to spending the next couple days at my childhood home, soaking up some fresh memories that I may pass down to my child someday.
I’m not quite tired when I crawl into bed but my OB/GYN said it’s very important to rest my body, especially after such a rough start to my first trimester. I’ve been thinking about Drake a lot today and decide to send him an email letting him know that even though we are apart during Christmas he’s still on my mind.
From: Morgan Lane
Subject: Merry Christmas, baby
Date: December 23, 2013 21:23
To: Drake Baylor Jr
Dear Drake,
I hope this email finds you happy and healthy somewhere fun. I can’t believe Christmas Eve is tomorrow. Wasn’t it just September? I’ll be spending the next few days with my parents at their house and I wanted to send you a message and wish you a very merry Christmas.
I can’t believe we are apart during the holidays. I still can’t believe we are apart at all. There are so many things I wish I could tell you, but it’s just not appropriate to put it in an email, even though you most likely aren’t going to read this.
I did some last minute Christmas shopping with Amanda today, and everything reminded me of you. There were shops selling French chocolates and things for guys to grill with, which reminds me of our first weekend together. I saw a bunch of different golf apparel and accessories promising to improve your golf game, which might actually help me since I don’t have my tutor here.
Everywhere I turn I’m reminded of you. At first I resented that because you left without saying goodbye. I’m still upset and I miss you more every day that goes by, but instead of being upset, warmth fills my heart as I think of you and how happy I am to have ever had you in my life at all.
As always, I want to remind you that you can always come home to me. Please come home, Drake. I love you.
Merry Christmas, baby
Your home always,
Morgan
Adrian
I absolutely love the holidays. It’s a total aphrodisiac to women. They spend all of their time decorating and shopping, and filling the house and office with wonderful food and gifts. Plus they all look so cute in their matching scarves, hats and mittens. When Morgan is wearing a scarf around her neck, all I can do is picture taking her back to my place and using it to tie her hands to my bedpost. Of course I’ve barely made it to second base over the last month with Morgan so I’d say anything remotely kinky is off the table for now, but at least I’m still getting somewhere. I’m hoping my gift to her will be just what I need to tip her over the edge and into my arms officially. A change of location in a romantic setting over New Year’s should be the perfect opportunity to seal the deal and make her mine.
Morgan’s parents invited my family to join them at our country club’s annual Christmas Eve dinner. When we were together our families would come to this dinner every year. After dessert Morgan and I would exchange our gifts since we wouldn’t be together on Christmas Day. I’d usually find a quiet place for us to make out for a bit afterwards so we could really thank each other for the gifts. I’m hoping tonight will evoke those special memories and will be just the thing to nudge her heart in my direction.
****
My parents and I arrive at the country club first, and just like our first date about a month ago I’m feeling nervous. I want this evening to be special like old times. I want Morgan to be excited to see me and spend time with me like she used to. We have had a lot of fun together over the last month, but besides a few kisses and snuggles, I’m worried that my position in her life is slowly being cemented in the friend zone.
The Lanes arrive about fifteen minutes after we are seated, and as I help Morgan out of her coat I’m blown away by how beautiful she looks tonight. Her long strawberry blonde hair is swept to one side, exposing the low-cut back of her red satin dress. Her long, gorgeous legs are highlighted by tall black heels, giving her petite sexy frame a little extra height. That’s good for me as I won’t have to bend down so far to sweep her into my arms during the little rendezvous I’ve planned later.
“You look absolutely breathtaking this evening,” I whisper into Morgan’s ear as I plant a soft kiss on her cheek.
“Thank you. You look very handsome yourself,” Morgan replies with a smile.
“I’m glad our families are doing this dinner again this year. It brings back very fond memories.” I say, planting the seed for a little trip down memory lane.
“Yes, it’s nice. It has been a while, hasn’t it? If you don’t mind I think I’ll head off to the ladies’ room before they start serving the hors d’oeuvres. If a server comes by to take a drink order while I’m gone could you please order me a vodka soda with a splash of cranberry and ask them to tell the bartender it’s for me? I noticed John is behind the bar tonight and I don’t know what he adds to it, but he makes it just the way I like it. Not too much vodka, not too much cranberry,” she says as she heads out of the dining room to the restrooms. I’ve never heard Morgan ramble on about a cocktail like that before. Maybe she is nervous like I am. I hope so, th
at means she’s thinking about when we used to be together as well, and that’s a really good thing for me. If she’s already thinking of us then we are already moving in the right direction. As I take my seat at our table once again my gaze meets Lana’s and she gives me a knowing look, letting me know things are all going according to plan.
Morgan
I had to come up with a plan of how I’m going to get through an evening with my family and the Thompsons without drinking. I couldn’t think of an excuse for why I can’t drink without everyone figuring out about the pregnancy. I decided that although I’m normally a gin martini gal when it comes to ordering cocktails, perhaps a vodka drink with a splash of cranberry for fun and color would be the perfect cocktail to sip on during the evening without anyone being the wiser that there really isn’t any vodka in my drink.
Instead of hitting the restrooms I make a beeline to the bar to speak with John who is tending bar for the evening.
“Morgan, it’s nice to see you this evening. You look beautiful,” John says with a fond smile. I think he has worked here since I was a little girl.
“Thanks, John,” I say, reaching across the bar to shake his hand. I’ve palmed a few hundred dollars into his hand, and as he accepts the money he looks at me quizzically. “This is a little something to keep the vodka out of my vodka sodas this evening. Our server will let you know they are for me. There is also enough there to ensure you don’t mention this to a single person. Also could you do the same for the Bloody Marys I’m sure I’ll be ordering during Sunday brunch for the next few months? I really appreciate it. Merry Christmas, John, and thank you,” I say with a smile, and head back to my table leaving a very stunned John behind the bar as I walk away. Surely he understands what I’m insinuating.
Dinner has gone by smoothly without anyone questioning my drink of choice. I allowed myself a sip of champagne during the lovely toast Mark Thompson gave. My doctor assured me that now that I’m in my second trimester just a sip here or there would be okay for the baby, not that I plan on making a habit of that. I have always enjoyed spending time with the Thompsons. I let my mind wander a bit thinking of how lovely it is that my parents are such great friends with Adrian’s and if my situation were a little different than it is now, I could easily picture spending holidays and other special times together with Adrian’s parents as my in-laws for as long as we both shall live.
Our dessert plates are being cleared as Adrian turns his chair towards me. With a wry smile he reaches into his suit jacket pocket and produces an envelope. He places it before me and I see my name scrawled across the front in Adrian’s handwriting.
“Merry Christmas, beautiful,” he says to me and leans in to give me a soft kiss on the lips, and my face immediately turns a new shade of crimson. I’m not sure why I’m so embarrassed by the display of affection, he has kissed me many times in front of our parents. He gives me a smile and nods towards the envelope, letting me know he wants me to open it now in front of everyone.
With a shy smile I reach for the envelope and open it. Inside I find first class plane tickets to Switzerland leaving December 30th. I look at Adrian with surprise and uncertainty. “A trip to Switzerland?” I ask.
“You have been working so hard the last few months, Morgan, and I know this year hasn’t exactly turned out the way that you planned. I thought it might be nice for you to get away and clear your head in a beautiful part of the world and start the New Year…with me,” he says, gazing into my eyes with a hopeful look.
“Adrian…I uh…I don’t know what to say,” I stumble through my shock.
“Say you’ll go with me. I have reservations at the Ritz Carlton in St. Moritz. They throw an amazing New Year’s Eve party every year, complete with fireworks overlooking the Alps at midnight. I’ve heard it’s magical,” Adrian says.
“Of course I’ll go. Thank you, Adrian, this is a very wonderful and unexpected gift. I look forward to getting away. I think starting the New Year somewhere fresh and new sounds exactly like what I need right now.”
“I’m looking forward to spending more time with you, Morgan, and starting my year with you,” Adrian says softly so that only I can hear. He takes my hand in his, never breaking our eye contact as he lifts my hand to his lips, kissing it gently.
“I have something for you too, but after such a nice surprise from you I feel like it’s a little silly. Would you mind if I save it for our trip?” I ask.
“Absolutely. It will give me something else to look forward to as well,” Adrian says, still holding my hand. He stands and slowly pulls me to my feet. “Would you mind taking a walk with me?” Adrian asks.
“Of course,” I say as he helps me into my coat. Adrian then slips into his and leads me out of the dining room.
“I thought we could enjoy a little crisp air,” Adrian explains as we make our way to the front door. He guides me along the shoveled cart path to the putting greens, then turns to me and says, “You know, I never got to show you my skills on the golf course this fall. That’s something I’m really looking forward to doing this spring,” he says with a smile.
I nod in agreement as he takes both of my hands in his and continues, “Morgan, I can see in your eyes that although you enjoy spending time with me when we are together, it’s someone else that you wish you were with.” I start to speak and he puts a finger to my lips to silence me.
“It’s okay, Morgan, please let me explain. I understand your inability to fully let go of Drake. I’m not asking you to do that. I’ve never been able to let go of you, so I understand how you are feeling, especially with the holidays here. I spent the last few Christmas Eve dinners at home with my parents, wishing I was here with you and your parents.
“I’m not asking you to forget your past and the wonderful time you spent with Drake. It’s the memories we collect along the way that make us who we are. I just wanted to have a moment in private to tell you that I’m looking forward to getting away with you. I’m looking forward to spending quality time in a romantic place, just the two of us. I’m looking forward to starting my new year, and hopefully my future with you. I wanted to tell you this without our parents as an audience because I’m asking you to think about what this trip could mean for us as a couple. I’d like you to think about a possibility of us moving forward romantically. You know I’m in love with you. I know you loved me once before. I know you are struggling to let go of the love you have for Drake, and accepting the fact that he most likely isn’t coming back. I’m not asking you not to love him, Morgan. I’m just asking that you find room in your heart to love me too.
“I’m the man for you, Morgan. I’m here now and will never leave your side. I want to travel the world with you, smile and laugh with you, make love to you, and be there for you. For whatever you could need. Take some time over the next few days to think about whether or not you can see me being that man for you. All that I ask is that you think about it, then take this trip with an open mind.”
A tear escapes my eye and Adrian soothes it away with his thumb, resting his hand on my jaw as he lovingly cups it. He has been patient, kind, and so giving these past few months. He’s made sure not to pressure me into a relationship and still isn’t. I can tell he wants this to happen between us, and is doing everything in his powers to show me he can give me the life I want. He’s told me he will support my independence while offering to simply be the person I can always turn to. I so wish Adrian was the one for me, but right now my heart tells me he isn’t.
“Adrian, thank you. I don’t know what more I can say. I promise to think about things and take this trip with an open mind, but I can’t promise you anything more than that,” I explain simply.
“Beautiful, that’s all I’m asking. Let’s get back inside before our parents start a search party,” Adrian says, shifting gears to guide me inside. Before we make it to the front door of the club, Adrian stops and pulls me into his arms. He gives me a hard, passionate kiss, showing me in his own way the depth
of his feelings for me. When he breaks the kiss he looks deep into my eyes and says, “I love you, Morgan Lane. Merry Christmas,” then leads me back to our parents, not needing me to say a word.
Chapter 14
Morgan
I’ve spent the last few days enjoying Christmas with my parents, and thinking of my trip with Adrian. This really is a wonderful gift and I look forward to spending time in Switzerland. I’m not much of a skier so hopefully Adrian will be down for spa treatments instead. I could really go for a massage right now. My lower back has been killing lately and I’m barely even showing. I’d hate to think of what it will feel like as the baby really starts to grow.
The holidays have now come and gone and I still haven’t heard from Drake. Knowing how sentimental he is, I figured if there was any time he might reach out, it would have been in the last few weeks. Although I’m excited to get away for the New Year, I’m still a little reluctant to go with Adrian. I really need to clear my head though, and I can’t think of a better place to do that than the fresh air of the Swiss Alps. I plan on using the fresh clean air to give me some fresh clean perspective as I start 2014 with the reality that although I’m achieving my dreams of creating a career and life for myself, I’ll also be doing it as a single mother. I’m more positive now than ever that Adrian and I don’t belong. I sat him down last night to explain that to him and he simply said the vacation was already booked and paid for so we might as well still go and enjoy our time together in whatever capacity I’m comfortable with.
Adrian is sending a car to my apartment to pick me up for the airport. He said there is a bunch of year end business to take care of before we leave and it might take him until the last minute to finish. He says that he won’t be able to relax on vacation if it isn’t done the right way, so he has to be the one to do it.
The limo driver helps me curb check my luggage and after getting my boarding pass, I meet Adrian at security. With our first class tickets we get to breeze through the shortened VIP security line, much like when I flew out to Vegas to meet Drake.
