The day passed in comfortable silence until the fire Krishani had started made the cabin stuffy. Kaliel got up from the chair and put the manuscript down. She padded towards her room in search of the bag of things she had taken with her from Orlondir. She pulled it out of the corner and began rummaging through it. Sure enough there were two ivory dresses. Her traveling cloak still hung behind Mallorn’s door. It was never chilly in Avristar before the mountain exploded and so she never felt the need to wear it. Now the nights were cold, causing her to feel the same unnerving feeling she had felt since she stepped foot on the land. While it would always be instilled with magic, it wasn’t the same as when she left it.
Kaliel held the dress against her chest. She wondered if it would fit her wiry frame. She closed the door to the small room and quickly peeled the black dress from her body. It had long sleeves with buttons down the arms and strings in the back that made it seem like a death trap. It was also longer and made of heavier material than what she was used to. She pulled the ivory dress over her head, did up the buttons in the back, and tied the straps around her neck. It was a little tight across her torso but it otherwise fit the way it always did. She ruffled her long, curly hair around her shoulders, letting it fall around her face. It was hard getting used to the black locks that were the mainstay of her new life.
Feeling better and noticing the sunset, she folded the black dress and stuffed it into the bag. She really wasn’t sure what would happen. Part of her never wanted to leave Avristar again if she could help it, whereas another part of her felt it was inevitable. She stopped fussing with her appearance and went into the front room. Krishani was looking at the fire, but his head snapped to her and he did a double take. She pirouetted lightly on her toe, looking at him for approval.
“Do you like it?” she asked.
He crossed the floor without words and cupped her face in his hands, pressing his lips hard against hers, the way she liked it. She returned the passion as his hands trailed along her sides. Her hands caught his wrists before he found the hem of her dress. She pushed his hands away. He came up for air, a hungry expression cast across his contrasted features.
“You look like you,” he said.
She grabbed the ends of her black hair and twirled it around her fingers. “Except for this.”
“It doesn’t matter,” he said, kissing her again. He took a step forward, forcing her into the bedroom. She paused at the doorjamb, putting a hand on it to brace herself. He dropped his lips to her neck, tracing the outline of her dress with his tongue as she curled her fingers into his shoulder-length locks of black hair. “I should take it off and make love to you again,” he murmured, his lips near her breast.
Kaliel laughed. “I was thinking you could wait,” she said as he stopped and let her out of the awkward position she had gotten herself into with one leg wrapped around his waist, one arm around his shoulder, and the other bracing the door so she didn’t crush her spine into it. He returned her look with a challenge.
“I waited all day,” he said.
“Until we are at the waterfall?” She stole a glance out the window in the bedroom. The land was covered in light shades of gray before pure darkness hit, stars and moonlight lighting the land in paleness. Krishani grunted incomprehensibly and moved to the stump.
“I thought I could distract you from that,” he admitted.
“I need to see it again,” she lamented, remembering briefly the dead end at the edge of the beach, the way the trees blocked her from the water. The trees moved for her, but Krishani was nothing but an obstacle.
He nodded imperceptibly and grabbed his cloak off the back of the chair, fitting it over his clothes and drawing the hood around his face. Kaliel’s heart dropped as he left the cabin as swiftly as any other member of the Brotherhood of Amersil. Krishani seemed like a different person in his cloak. It was his protection from the lands, a place where he shut out everything and everyone. She threw on the traveling cloak before racing down the mound and crossing the creek behind him.
They walked through the forest in silence for a long time. Krishani let his hand slip out of his cloak to grip hers, giving her hand a squeeze for reassurance. Her heart raced for no good reason as they reached the break in the trees and the fields of Orlondir stretched out before her for the first time in moons. The rolling hills were the same as they had always been–bright green pastures of endless, beautiful plains. The proof a battle had touched Avristar wasn’t there. Krishani tensed beside her and she felt it, knowing that this was where he fought for her. A knot formed in her stomach, festering, as they continued to shuffle across the fields, cresting hills and racing across shallow valleys. It wasn’t long before Mount Tirion loomed above them. The nervous tension increased as they passed the path to the Gatekeeper. Krishani didn’t say anything as he pulled past the forest vegetation covering the north side of the mountain and ducked into the brush beside the courtyard. He wended through the thicker beds of trees and shrubs that characterized the mountain and the waterfall. It wasn’t long before he broke through to the path Kaliel was used to traveling so many times during her youth. He took a left and wound down the thin trail until Kaliel heard the rushing of the falls.
She glanced at him, afraid to let anything fall from her lips for fear others were around, others who would find them. He had that same expression on his face: a mix of excitement, concern, and fear. She took a deep breath as they walked down the rest of the path and froze when she saw it. The waterfall was the same as it had always been, a beautiful stream of spring water pouring from the highest point of the mountain, crashing into the pond below. The surface of the water churned, white foam frothing near the shore.
Kaliel shuddered. What made her heart leap into her chest wasn’t the waterfall at all. It was the woman with the long auburn hair and rosy pink linen gown kneeling at the edge of the pond that made Kaliel grip Krishani’s hand as hard as she could. It wasn’t like she could turn and run away because as soon as she reached the end of the path the woman turned, facing the two of them.
Atara looked like she had been crying. Her mouth hung open, arms folded across her chest. She moved her hands to wipe away tears. Her eyes blazed at Krishani first but her gaze kept coming back to Kaliel, her eyebrows pinched together, lines of worry streaked across her brow. Kaliel couldn’t help but notice that she looked older.
“Krishani,” Atara said, the cadence and dream-like quality to her voice replaced by sharp icicles. Kaliel went to take a step back but stopped when Atara glowered at her. She dropped her eyes to the ground and twisted her toe in the mud.
“Kaliel?” Atara asked incredulously.
Kaliel nodded, tears springing to her eyes at the mention of her name. It had been so long since she had seen Atara, and her heart ached with longing she didn’t understand. She wanted to throw herself at her former mentor, embrace her and cry like the scared young girl she used to be. She never meant to fail her elders. She was plagued by the vile words of the Great Oak. She didn’t know how to begin that conversation with Atara, it was so awkward to see her again.
“You didn’t die in the volcano?” Atara frowned.
Kaliel met her former elder’s caramel hazel eyes and shook her head, pulling her hand away from Krishani. She glanced at him but he was a stone statue, refusing to remove his hood and show himself. He was probably more frightened than she was. “I did, but I came back.” She had no idea how to explain it.
“I don’t understand,” Atara said.
“The girl this body belonged to died and I—” She stopped, unsure how to tell Atara about the moment she woke on the battlefield, broken and bruised, but alive. It was a moment she would never quite understand herself, and therefore it wasn’t something she wanted to talk about. She still felt guilty for Aulises’s death.
“You possessed the body,” Atara said, smoothing out the imaginary wrinkles in her gown. “I see.”
Kaliel hung her head. “I was trying to heal her.” She a
verted her eyes, finding the stony incline. A pang hit her heart like the tip of a poisoned arrow as she thought about the cave behind the falls.
“You shouldn’t have come here, Krishani,” Atara snapped, turning her attention to the boy. He reluctantly removed his hood and met her gaze with one of remorse.
“I never meant to come back,” he said mournfully.
“Did Mallorn agree to this?” Atara shot at him.
Kaliel instinctively took a sharp breath and looked at Krishani who didn’t seem fazed. “Mallorn is dead.” Krishani said, monotone. Atara raised her hand to her mouth. “So is Crestaos.”
“And how was the Flame returned to you?” Her gaze fell on Kaliel, and the girl’s heart broke a little more. She wasn’t Atara’s apprentice anymore. She hadn’t been for a long time, not since the dream about The Emerald Flame had almost killed her. All she was to Atara was a Flame, not a Child of Avristar, not a girl who had died for the land. If Kaliel had the chance again she would try harder to impress her elders. She never knew how precious her life was until she lost it.
Krishani took her hand again. “She was a gift from High King Tor.”
Atara narrowed her eyes. “You need to leave.”
Kaliel blanched. She wanted to say something but everything in her mind seemed incoherent.
“Avristar may have allowed you to live here together, but Avred will not,” Atara said, stern.
“Is the volcano that dangerous?” Kaliel asked, her heart sinking more. She blinked as flashes of her old self racing to the top of the mountain flickered inside her head. The same feeling of dread she’d felt then clawed its way to the surface, and she fought to keep herself from trembling.
Atara approached, pressing her hand to the girl’s cheek. She nodded. “I wish you hadn’t awakened the volcano. It was the worst thing that could have happened.”
Kaliel felt like she had been slapped. Her face was hot where Atara’s hand touched her. She recoiled, waiting for Krishani to react but he didn’t. Instead, her own anger rose to the surface and like wildfire her eyes snapped to a vibrant amethyst. She clenched her fist and squeezed her eyes shut, trying to control herself. “No, the worst that could have happened is Crestaos taking me. The worst that could have happened is that you and everyone else could be dead!” She opened her eyes again. Atara kept her distance, fear snaking through her eyes. She was afraid. Kaliel glanced at Krishani who hung his head.
Atara shook her head. “No, the worst of it Kaliel … is that you brought Crestaos here in the first place.”
Kaliel felt like everything was out of sync. She felt hot and cold at the same time and like the land was tilting backwards on her and throwing everything into a whirlwind. She slid to the ground, rocking back and forth as she fought through vertigo. The Flame battered around inside of her like a wild boar and she desperately fought to keep it under control. She knew what she could do when she was upset, or angry, or pushed to the very limits.
The sound of the explosion rang in her ears. She thought she heard Krishani yelling but it was muffled amidst the disorientation. She almost blacked out but pulled her senses together, snapping to realization.
“It wasn’t her fault!” Krishani exclaimed.
Atara clasped her hands and held them in front of her. “Avred and Avristar have exiled you. If Istar finds out you’ve breeched our shores he will not be happy. Please don’t make this worse for yourselves. Leave, and never come back.”
Kaliel noticed tears staining Atara’s face but she couldn’t feel anything for the woman. The ringing continued to reverberate in her ears, the land still out of focus. Atara’s words were like a dagger to her heart. This was worse than Crestaos hunting her, worse than sacrificing herself to a volcano. She wasn’t thought of as a martyr but a menace. She finally understood what Krishani meant before.
There were worse things than death.
Exile was one of those things.
* * *
15 - Not A Human
They didn’t talk on the way back to the cabin. Kaliel threw herself on the grassy mound the moment she crossed the creek and buried her head in the circle of her arms. She took in a mouthful of the familiar scent and tried to calm her nerves. She was a mess even after the hours of walking with pain in her legs and feet. This was worse than one of her nightmares. This was the other side of an ugly reality she created. She heard Krishani sit gingerly beside her but he didn’t say anything. She knew him well enough to know he wouldn’t berate her for her stupid decisions. She regretted going to the waterfall but she couldn’t help it—she had to know. Part of her wished she never existed. She rolled onto her back, suffocated by the recycled air in her lungs. She rubbed her hands along her torso trying to find some comfort. Krishani was on her right with his knees pulled up, forearms resting on them, and his gaze on the creek.
“I ruined everything,” she whispered more to the sky than to Krishani. He looked at her with sympathy. Apparently this wasn’t hard for him and part of her wondered when he suffered the worst of it. He didn’t want to talk about what happened after she died. He seemed happier ignoring it, creating a giant blotch in her memory.
“You didn’t ruin me,” he said.
“Avristar was perfect before we were together,” she mumbled. His input was comforting but it didn’t help with the numbness, guilt, and pounding sound in her ears. The Flame inside threatened to rip her insides apart with its heat and she attempted to quelch it.
Krishani pulled up a long stem of grass and began chewing on it. “Avristar was in peace, but it wasn’t perfect,” he corrected.
She sat even though her limbs felt like they had been flattened by fallen tree trunks and glared at him. “It was better though.” She put her hands to her lips and held them there, not wanting to say what was on her mind. It hurt too much to think she had no real home. Everything she loved about Avristar she would have to leave behind. She thought of the trees. They were her best friends–silent, strong, and sometimes uncomforting–but they were the ones she told her secrets to. She wasn’t sure who she could talk to in the Lands of Men. Who would be her friend there? And did she want them, knowing that as hard as she tried not to bloom the weed, it was impossible to think she hadn’t. Atara didn’t spell it out but Kaliel knew what the Great Oak would say, what the Gatekeeper would say about what she was.
And she desperately wanted to hide that part of herself.
“The Lands of Men aren’t so bad,” Krishani said gently.
She scowled. “Why do you hate Elwen?”
Krishani grimaced. “I don’t hate him. He’s not exactly the ancestor I was expecting.”
“You wanted someone like Istar?”
Krishani shook his head and turned away. “You wouldn’t understand it, Kaliel.” He didn’t say anything else, and she sat there staring at him for a long time, trying to figure out what she could say that would make him open up and tell her all the things she was missing. There had to be something she could still hold onto. Life slipping away like this made her crazy. She sidled up next to him and wrapped her arms around his left arm.
“I don’t know what to do anymore,” she said.
“Just promise you’ll love me, no matter what,” Krishani said, still looking at the creek.
She released him and fell back into the grass. “The last time I loved you no matter what, we burned. Everyone burned.”
“That was a long time ago.” He pushed his back into the grass and glanced at her sideways. She bent her arm up and he followed, twining their fingers together. “Nothing has to end this time.”
She smiled for his benefit even though she felt sick. They stayed like that until it was dawn again, much too soon. Kaliel hated how quickly the days passed. Her eyes traced patterns of leaves against the canopy of the sky and she sighed. “I wish we could stay in Nandaro.”
Krishani gave her a half smile. “One more day,” he said, moving to his feet. He held out a hand and she took it. She didn’t feel comforted by th
e idea of staying in a place that didn’t want her. “Besides, we can’t leave until nightfall anyway.”
• • •
Someone banged on the door repeatedly. Krishani woke abruptly, with Kaliel sprawled on top of him, her face pressed to his chest. The banging came again and Krishani slipped out of the cot, throwing on his tunic and crossing the floor barefoot. He pressed his ear against the door to see if he could figure out who it was. His thoughts were filled with worry and regret. What if it was Istar? The banging came again, louder this time. Krishani flung the door open prepared to face whoever it was and before he had a chance to say hello, the fully cloaked figure on the other side of the door hauled him out of the cabin by the hair and threw him onto the grass.
Krishani tumbled down the hill, almost bashing his head against a rock as he fell half into the creek. His clothes were soaked as the cloaked figure came at him again and this time Krishani raced to his feet prepared to meet his attacker head on. They locked arms, swaying back and forth dangerously on the hill, trying to gain power over each other. Krishani had to admit his opponent was strong and skilled in the art of combat, but he wasn’t about to let him win. He glanced behind the first attacker and noticed two others. They entered the cabin, and Krishani heard a scream. His heart leapt into his chest at the sound of Kaliel wrestling against them.
Krishani swiftly hooked his leg around the attacker’s leg and they both tumbled to the ground falling over each other as Krishani fought to stay on top. He threw a punch in the attacker’s direction and missed, hitting the grass behind his head. He glanced up and saw Kaliel being pulled outside by the other two, one gripping each of her arms. Krishani went to punch his attacker again but stopped.
“Krishani?” the attacker asked. He huffed like he was out of breath from their little sparring match. Krishani recognized that voice and immediately moved off his opponent. This wasn’t like the Lands of Men. It wasn’t like Osvanir in the cabin by the beach. This wasn’t a fight to the death. Krishani scrambled backwards in the grass, sitting there dumbfounded as Benir removed his hood and looked at him, curious. His blonde hair had grown past his ears, and his blue eyes were as bright as ever.
Vulture Page 13
