by Tanya Chris
He ought to be glad Hailey was so happy, but the closer he got to having everything arranged the way he wanted it, the more he realized that Julia-Louise was right. Until he told Hailey the truth about how they’d gotten here, he wouldn’t be able to enjoy being here.
MAC finished hanging the Hailey’s Comic sign in its new spot over their bed and turned to find Hailey watching him.
“I think you’d better talk to me.”
“About what?” He’d wanted to make sure the sign was exactly level. That didn’t mean he was trying to avoid something.
“I won’t know about what until you tell me. Come here.” Hailey led him to Edgar’s armchair. He settled Mac on it, then climbed into his lap. “I’m going to sit on top of you until you tell me what’s going on.”
“As if that’s an incentive.”
“What if I add kisses? I’m going to keep kissing you until you tell me what’s going on.” Hailey started kissing him, which was even less of an incentive, but the tactic worked, because every kiss made him wish he could enjoy it without a secret hanging over his head.
“I need to tell you something.”
“I know. That’s why we’re both in the same chair. So spill.”
Mac took a deep breath and spilled. “The reason the legal department knew you were living in the back room is because I told them. By mistake. But when the eviction proceedings started, I didn’t stop them. And I could’ve. It’s my fault the store’s closed.”
“Closed now, maybe. It’s not like it wasn’t going to be closed anyway. But I love you for telling me that. Thank you.”
“That’s it?”
“Was that all you had to tell me?”
“Hailey.” Mac lifted Hailey onto his feet. “I don’t think you understand what I just told you. I betrayed you.” The apartment wasn’t big enough for Mac to get as far away from Hailey as he deserved to be.
“Betray is a pretty dramatic word. We knew we were on opposite sides of that issue from the moment we met. I never expected you to abandon your own interests because of me.”
“But I did.” Mac stopped his constrained pacing. “I changed everything. I’m trying, Hailey. I’m trying so hard, but it’s never enough.”
“Greg, love. You’re all wound up.” This time Hailey brought him to the couch and tucked him into his side, guiding Mac’s head to rest on his shoulder as Mac let the tears that’d been dammed up since the ceremony fall free.
“You’re kind of handsome when you cry. Anyone ever tell you that?”
Mac shook his head at the ridiculousness of it. He wasn’t in the habit of letting people see him cry.
“Can you tell me why, though? I’m not mad at you about the eviction.”
“That is why.”
“Ah.” Hailey said it so wryly that Mac found himself laughing through his tears.
“If you were mad at me, I could grovel until you forgave me. I don’t want to lose you, Hailey, and sometimes it feels like there’s nothing I can do that will be enough to keep you.”
“I don’t understand why, though. I love you. You don’t need to do anything.”
Mac shook his head.
“No to which part?”
“You don’t love me. Not me. You just love… everyone.”
“Is that what you’ve been imagining all this time?”
“Plus you think I’m hot.”
Hailey grinned. “I do think you’re hot. And also I love you. Not completely unrelated. You know your confidence was what first attracted me to you?”
“Haughty authority, upright posture.”
“Yeah, that. So where does all that confidence go when it comes to me?”
Mac didn’t know exactly. “You’re different from other people I’ve cared about.”
“Because I’m poor?”
“Because you have different expectations, ones I don’t always know how to meet.”
“And you’ve always met expectations, haven’t you? I’ve got an idea.” Hailey went over to the table. He fished a piece of paper and a pencil out of the basket where the kids kept their school supplies and plunked them down.
“What’s that?”
“Homework. For you. I want you to write me a list of everything good about you.”
“Like a résumé?”
“Yeah, like a person résumé or a boyfriend résumé. Apply for the job. Impress me.”
Despite never having had to apply for a job before, Mac knew how to sell himself. He sat down at the table and started scribbling, his pencil moving fast as he outlined himself in broad strokes. Independent worker. Honest. Able to make quick decisions and respond to new information. Determined. Responsible. Good people skills. Effective communicator, both orally and in writing. Financially fluent.
That last part was a bit dry. This was a person résumé, so… prompt, courteous, good table manners, shares the puck… and a boyfriend résumé, so… gives excellent blowjobs, versatile in bed, affectionate, thoughtful, nice shoulders. He added that last with a smile, then went back and reread his list.
Was it enough? It wasn’t enough. Scribbling faster than he could think, he wrote an essay explaining all the changes he’d made at C&G in the past couple of months. The new investors he was bringing in—ones who were willing to give up fast profits for more sustainable growth—the lower-income projects he was pursuing, the new community analyst role, the HR changes that made working more manageable for employees with children.
He handed over the page crammed full of everything good he could say about himself and watched Hailey skim down it, green pen in hand. Hailey drew a smiley face next to “nice shoulders,” then wrote 100 at the top with two underlines and an exclamation point. Next to that he wrote Exceeds expectations. Then he tacked the paper to the refrigerator under a She-Ra magnet.
Mac couldn’t help going over to admire it. It was corny, sure, but still. There it was in green and white. Exceeds expectations.
Hailey wrapped his arms around him and nuzzled his head over Mac’s shoulder.
“I love all those things about you, but it’s still not a list of why I love you. This comes closest.” He pointed to the words Mac had used to start his essay: I’m trying. “You don’t know how rare that is. I love how open-minded you are, the way you’ve actually listened to me.”
“You find things to love about everyone, though.”
“I suppose. But I’m pretty sure I don’t love everyone the way I love you.”
“What way is that?”
“The way where I’m hoping we’re going to spend the rest of our lives together. Maybe it’s too soon to say that.”
“It’s not too soon, not if you want me.”
“I’ve always wanted you, right from the beginning. It’s been hard to see how it could work out sometimes, but you keep finding a way. This apartment. And that community center. I can’t express how much it means to me that you cared enough to make that happen. You’re the special someone I’ve been looking for, the one who makes me better.”
Mac didn’t see how anything could make Hailey better, but he was savvy enough to close a deal when the right offer was on the table. “You know how much I hate the word boyfriend. What do you say to fiancé?”
“Fiancé?” Hailey wrinkled his nose. “I’ve always found it a little in-your-face.”
“Then how about husband?”
“Husband I like a lot.”
“Me too.” His heart was so full he thought it might burst. “You won’t be sorry. I don’t have enough money to save the world, but I’ll do what I can—anything you want me to.”
“I never expected you to save the world, Greg. All anyone can do is make their own corner of it brighter.”
All Mac cared about was making Hailey’s corner brighter. It was a good thing Hailey was so ethical, because when it came to him, Mac was completely and utterly shameless. “I love you.”
Hailey grinned a particularly bright grin. “You know, that’s the first time you’v
e ever said that. I’ve been saying it for a month, and you never said it back.”
“I’ve been thinking it for a lot longer than a month.”
“Have you?”
“You can read my mind. You must’ve been able to read that.”
“When it comes to hoping someone loves you as much as you love them, it’s easy to be insecure.”
Yeah, Mac could relate. The thought of Hailey being uncertain about how much Mac loved him was laughable, but he’d been caught in the same insecurity. Hailey was his now, to love and protect and cherish and spoil, and he would give himself back to Hailey just the same—the person that he was, for better or worse, not always perfect but always trying.
Epilogue
Hailey
“PIA’S in the story area,” Hailey told her mother. He inclined his chin toward the back, as if anyone could miss the ruckus coming from that direction. “She’s helping Elisa’s kids build a fort.”
“Helping?” Patrice asked. “Or supervising?”
“I see you’ve met your daughter.”
Patrice headed for the back with a laugh and returned with a protesting Pia in tow. Apparently they’d been “almost done.” She waved a distracted goodbye as she herded Pia through the front door, nearly colliding with Miguel as he came in.
Must be six o’clock, then. Miguel was never a minute late. Never a minute early either, but never a minute late. The evening shift at Hailey’s Orbit was a pretty good gig for him, giving him time to do his homework while he earned slightly more than minimum wage, plus an extra stipend for teaching the ESL class on Thursdays. All paid nice and legally now.
“Got a date yet?” Miguel asked as he hung up his jacket and stashed his backpack behind the front desk. He didn’t have to specify a date for what. There was only one event everyone in Ball’s End was waiting for: the grand opening of 983 Main Street. A lot of people would be moving into 983 once it was done—including Miguel’s family and also including him and Greg.
“More delays,” he told Miguel. “Something about elevator permits.” At least it wasn’t his fault this time.
He was maybe the least excited about the new building of anyone in the neighborhood, but only because he already had more than he’d ever dreamed of. Hailey’s Orbit was everything he’d wanted Hailey’s Comic to be, minus a few thousand books, and Greg was the partner he’d been afraid he’d never find. He didn’t need a giant loft to live in, although he was looking forward to the honeymoon they’d postponed until 983 was open and Greg could carve out time to get away.
At least they hadn’t waited to get married. The lavish ceremony—at which he’d worn the most magnificent vintage tailcoat—had been orchestrated by Greg’s mother. He’d initially winced at the money being spent on it, but Greg had promised they would make it all back in presents, and he’d been right. After donating their wedding windfall to a local food bank, Hailey had come to think of their wedding as both a really fun day and a pretty good Robin Hood scheme. He wondered how often they could get away with having one.
The honeymoon, though. They were going to Paris.
“Not ecotourism?” Greg had asked. “One of those holidays where you volunteer to dig trenches in third-world countries? Maybe a week at an ashram?”
All of which sounded good, but come on—Paris.
Hailey couldn’t help shaking his head at this idea Greg had of him—like he was Mother Theresa instead a regular guy doing the best he could, sometimes succeeding, sometimes failing, always happy to go home to his man at the end of the day. At least Greg’s idealized vision of him didn’t extend into the bedroom. There were no saints between their sheets.
Truthfully, he liked being spoiled as much as anyone. When he could afford it and it didn’t feel unreasonably selfish. Take his wedding ring for instance. Greg’s was a practical titanium, but Hailey had gone for something with more glitter. Gemstones—a rainbow of them, from ruby to amethyst.
He twisted his ring back into position, making sure the rainbow sparkled straight up. He loved his ring. He loved his husband. And Miguel being there meant he could leave except there was no point since Greg wasn’t home yet, which he knew because Elisa’s kids were still here. Now that she’d moved back to Ball’s End, she and Greg carpooled, giving her time every day to share her latest research with him. Gossip, Greg called it with a roll of his eyes, but Hailey knew he used her information to shape his projects.
The door opened again, and there was Elisa in one of her smart suits. She must’ve had a meeting with the planning committee today. He was so proud of the way she’d parlayed a receptionist job into a career that put her in front of the city’s most influential people.
“Mac says go straight home,” she said as soon as she got inside. “You’ve got a client dinner tonight.”
Well, there went his dream of a quiet evening with his husband, but he’d learned that financing required schmoozing, and what they were schmoozing for these days were the funds to turn the empty lot behind St. Theresa’s into a skate park. Besides, schmoozing gave him a chance to put on one of his fancy outfits.
He only dallied long enough to give Elisa a hug. Miguel wasn’t into hugs anymore—sixteen was too old for such things, apparently—but he allowed Hailey to ruffle his carefully styled hair and only scowled a little when Hailey said I love you. Then Hailey practically skipped the three blocks home, excited to see Greg even if they weren’t going to spend the evening in Power Puff Girl pj’s.
The minute he got in the door, Greg him pinned up against it.
“I thought we were in a hurry,” Hailey teased. There was his guy—so perfectly upright in every way, handsome beyond belief in his power suit, brown eyes glowing with love. His knight, his avenger, his angel.
“We should shower first,” Greg said, which meant the only hurry he’d been in was to see him.
It was crowded in the shower—their new one was going to be huge—so they couldn’t actually fool around in there, but Hailey tugged on his husband’s new nipple ring so there’d be no question about what they were going to do once they got out.
The ring did it for Greg every time. He did it for Greg every time. From the day Greg had appeared in the store—all sneery and disapproving—until exactly this moment, Greg had never let him doubt it. He was exactly who Greg wanted, and he hadn’t had to change a bit.
TANYA CHRIS writes feminist-friendly romance in a variety of subgenres and pairings—most especially M/M—as well as kink-driven erotica under the pen name T. M. Chris. Born on the West Coast and raised on the East Coast, she’s fact-based but thirsty for justice, and her books often include an examination of a current social issue, even when they’re set in the past. As a lifelong genre-hopping reader herself, she admires character-driven work with a message, regardless of the form it takes.
Tanya is an avid rock climber, a long-distance runner, and a participant in her local community theater where she has tackled most roles, including playwright, actor, director, producer, and stage manager. Her travels, both for climbing trips and for cultural exploration, have brought her to places as fascinating as Egypt and as beautiful as the Dolomites, though there’s no place like home.
Tanya is best known to readers for having written Aftercare and to writers for the quote “Writer culture is researching what degree is needed to be a paleontologist so your shapeshifting vampire dinosaur erotica will be authentic.” Her website features dozens of free stories, including the aforementioned (and highly authentic) shapeshifting vampire dinosaur erotica.
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Coming in October 2019
Dreamspun Desires #91
Drawing the Prince by Kim Fielding
A Stars from Peril Novel
Painting themselves a life together will be a royal ordeal.
Small-town boy Cal Walters doesn�
�t know whether he owes his phenomenal success as an artist to talent or to his connections to famous people. Doubt leaves him secluded—until a lost bet lands him on yet another blind date. But this one is different.
To Teofilo Vabriga-Kastav, playboy prince of the tiny nation of Porvunia and passionate art lover, Cal’s paintings are as intriguing as Cal himself. When Teo invites Cal to his country for an art competition, a whirlwind romance sweeps them up. But it can’t last—loyalties and obligations bind them to lives that are worlds apart.
Cal and Teo might’ve found their perfect complements in each other, but to hold on to their happiness, they’ll have to get creative.
Dreamspun Desires #92
The Winter Quarters by Anna Veriani
Snow, steam, and a second chance.
Reluctant socialite Kai has thirty-five days before his family starts shooting the next season of their reality TV show, revealing a life he’d rather keep private—and one that feels increasingly scripted. Desperately needing a break, Kai escapes to his childhood best friend Hiro Asada’s inn in rural Japan. He finds peace in the thousand-year-old hot springs, but his yearning for Hiro resurfaces at the worst time: Hiro is about to inherit the inn, and his parents expect him to marry within the year.
Hiro’s traditional family loves him for who he is, but they can’t imagine two men running the inn. Meanwhile, Kai has a TV contract his lawyer insists can’t be broken. Hiro and Kai need to think outside the box—and solve their problems before Christmas Day, when Kai’s show shoots its annual holiday special.
www.dreamspinnerpress.com
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