her, and even though he understood the symbion's motives
for wanting her calm and quiet during their flight, he still
feared the creature would somehow force him to hurt her
without realizing it.
From the moment they'd arrived at the secluded nest, the
symbion had bombarded him with images of mating.
Though an adult itself and probably the parent of at least
one brood of its own offspring, it now wanted Caleb to
procreate. Communication with Jidar's symbion had imparted
the knowledge that the Icarian population was in danger and,
single-minded in its desire to save the host species, the
symbion understood that mating was an imperative.
After much debate, Caleb had finally convinced it to calm
down and land. Grateful that the shorts he'd put on at home
hid the semi-hard erection he'd battled since they arrived,
Caleb swooped down onto the island's landing area and took
a moment to compose himself.
"There will be no mating. Remember that," he said aloud,
more to reassure himself than the symbion.
The creature complained and ruffled its wings, but
reluctantly agreed to leave its chosen female alone for now.
In a way, Caleb could understand the creature's urgency.
Fused as it was now to him, it could never mate with one of
67
Icarus Rising
by Bernadette Gardner
its own kind again. Over time, its genitalia would atrophy and
its internal sex organs would be absorbed. The only way for
the alien bird to experience sexual release now was through
Caleb. While he sympathized, the symbion's desires would
have to wait, just as Caleb's would, until Jidar made the
decision to pair him with a suitable Icarian female. Assuming
that ever happened.
After another deep breath, Caleb convinced the symbion to
fold its wings, and they headed inside the aerie. He prayed
Zara had woken up and that she wouldn't be too angry with
him for what he'd done.
Panic raced through him when he saw the empty pallet.
His thundering heartbeat slowed just a little when his captive
emerged from the waste disposal alcove. At least she was up
and around and she looked no worse for wear.
"Zara."
The moment she saw him, she raised her hand. Clutched
in her fist, she held a chunk of sandstone. "Stay right there.
No more unscheduled flights unless you're taking me back to
the research station."
Caleb held up his hands in surrender. "I'm sorry. I promise
I won't do that again."
"Which one of you is making that promise?" She glared at
him. Her eyes were the color of clear caramel in the golden
morning sunlight that streamed into the aerie from behind
him. Anger had pinkened her cheeks, and fear, he guessed,
had hardened her nipples.
She looked wild and untamed, and he would have given
anything at that moment to fold her in his arms and soothe
68
Icarus Rising
by Bernadette Gardner
her rampant emotions. He realized if he went near her now,
though, she'd probably brain him with the rock.
" I promise. Both of me." He laughed, but his attempt at
humor only produced a scowl from her."
"Don't try to be funny. This is serious."
He looked down at the smooth stone beneath his bare feet.
"I know. Again, I'm sorry. I'm trying to get a handle on this.
Really."
"You can do that at the station. Now that the sun is up, we
should go back. I promise I'll stay calm if you promise not to
fly so high."
Caleb wanted to comply, but his symbion panicked at any
mention of the lab. It understood Caleb's fear that Danson
would separate them, and its survival instinct defied any
attempt to reason with it. "I can't go back, Zara. I'm sorry ...
again."
She lowered the rock and sighed but still maintained her
physical distance from him. "Back at your bungalow you said
you would cooperate. You said—"
" I said. Yes. But the symbion is afraid. It won't allow me to
go back."
"You're supposed to be in charge of the link, Caleb. You're
supposed to make the decisions for both of you now."
"And I can't. I can think for myself, but it seems like the
only emotions I'm feeling are the symbion's. Those feelings
are stronger than any rational argument I can make for going
back to the station."
"So what about me? Am I a prisoner? I can't leave on my
own. What am I supposed to do?"
69
Icarus Rising
by Bernadette Gardner
Caleb shrugged. "Give me time to figure something out.
Are you hungry?"
"At least get me a radio, and I'll call for help. You can stay
away until they come for me."
Her desire to escape him made Caleb's guilt and shame
flare white hot. The prospect of losing its mate annoyed the
symbion as well, and together they spread their wings. "I
need you, Zara! You're the only person I can talk to about
this."
"Caleb, we can talk all you want to, but it has to be back at
the lab where Ray can help you."
"He can't help me!" This time the symbion flapped its
wings in anger, propelling Caleb forward toward Zara. She
cringed away from him and raised the rock, which he
effortlessly knocked out of her hand. Fearing she'd slap him,
he grabbed her wrists and trapped them over her head as he
pushed her body backward against the warm stone wall.
Terror darkened her eyes to cocoa brown as she arched
her back and tried to wrench her arms free of his grasp.
At the mercy of his alien half, Caleb could only watch,
feeling strangely detached from his actions, as he ground his
hips against Zara's.
Pressed together like this, their bodies seemed a perfect
fit, just as he'd always imagined they would be. How many
times had he fantasized about feeling the hardened tips of her
nipples rubbing his chest or tasting desire on her lips?
Instinct bade him to lower his mouth to her neck and
nibble the sensitive skin there. The scent of her arrowed to
the hyper-sensitive sex receptors in his brain, setting off a
70
Icarus Rising
by Bernadette Gardner
cascade of symbion hormones that controlled his feelings of
arousal, entitlement, conquest and passion.
"I want you," he whispered into her ear. "We want a mate.
Right now. We need it."
"Ca-Caleb..." At first Zara's response sounded like a
protest. She squirmed under his onslaught, but he couldn't
decide if she was attempting to push him away or thrust her
willing body closer to his.
His erection had peaked again and now strained against
his shorts. Settled in the inviting vee of her thighs, his cock fit
perfectly. The pressure and warmth were just enough to push
his arousal to the next level.
"Say no," he told her, grasping at one small moment of
sanity. "Say
no, and I'll make myself stop. But if you don't,
I'm going to have you now, Zara. I can't be this close to you
and not be inside you."
The words Zara had dreamed of hearing from Caleb both
excited and terrified her. The look in his eyes told her he
wasn't in control at the moment.
His erection pressing into her mound was the effect of a
symbion mating frenzy, not Caleb Faulkner's desire for her.
The urgency with which he ground his muscular body into
hers had nothing to do with love and everything to do with a
chemical volcano erupting in his brain.
She did want him, despite her anger and her fear,
regardless of their carefully maintained professional
relationship, but her needs made no difference. If she gave
in, if she didn't tell him to stop, they would both regret it.
71
Icarus Rising
by Bernadette Gardner
But God, it felt so good. The growing bulge of his cock
teased her clit through her shorts. Arousal had tightened all
her muscles, and liquid desire lubricated them, so she now
felt like a coiled spring, ready to bend and stretch to his will.
The idea of surrendering to the rampant, selfish needs of
the alien that had taken him over excited her when it should
have repulsed her. She wanted to be taken hard and fast.
Dear Lord, she didn't have the strength to say no.
Each time his lips brushed over her heated skin, outlining
her jaw, teasing her ear, skimming the hollow of her throat,
her knees weakened a little more. If he let go now and
backed away, she would have slithered to the ground,
breathless and quivering.
"Caleb, please..." Those weren't the right words, not a
proper protest at all. He could easily interpret them to mean
"go on, take me, claim me".
As if he'd heard her silent plea, he thrust his free hand into
her shorts. She gasped but failed to protest when his
searching fingers found her clit and began to massage the
engorged flesh. Excitement coursed through her veins,
making every muscle contract in time to his intimate
massage.
With a hard wall at her back and hard man in front of her,
she had nowhere to go. Pushing her hips forward was the
only move she could make, and that merely heightened the
friction of his fingers in the sensitive folds of flesh between
her thighs. Warmth spread through her lower body and her
juices began to flow hot around the intrusion. He moaned into
72
Icarus Rising
by Bernadette Gardner
her ear and in response she whimpered, still searching for the
words that would end this torment.
"Caleb..."
He found her opening and without warning, penetrated.
Her body stiffened. She should have fought, should have
wrenched away but all she wanted was more, deeper, harder.
She closed her eyes and let him play her, all the while willing
herself to speak, but nothing coherent came out.
Every nerve in her body screamed for release. The
pressure of his fingers sliding against her inner flesh sent her
reeling. His palm brushed her mound, causing a spiral of
aching need to coil up into her womb. She should have tried
to escape, beat on his back with her fists, scratch him, but all
she could do was revel in his plundering of her body. She'd
wanted this for too long to make it go away. She needed him
in her and she needed to come so her mind would clear and
the relentless ache in her pussy would end.
Thrust after illicit thrust of his finger left her trembling on
the edge of release. She clung to him, afraid to make a sound
that would bring him back to himself and make him realize
exactly what he was doing. She closed her eyes and gave in
to the rhythm, the friction, the pent-up need and finally,
choking on a sob of relief, she came. Her sex contracted hard
around him and she moaned. Undaunted, he pumped his
finger harder into her, quick thrusts that left her shuddering
and blind with pleasure, then he pulled out and trailed her
cream along her thigh.
Their eyes met for an instant and she saw satisfaction in
his dark gaze. He'd won her, he'd broken her defenses and
73
Icarus Rising
by Bernadette Gardner
laid her open for his conquest. Now he could take her more
easily, while the shuddering contractions of her body left her
weak and unable to resist him.
"Say no. Please, Zara, make me stop." Low and husky, his
voice held desperation. He didn't want this.
The man she'd spent months walking on the beach with,
delving into his psyche and learning what she'd foolishly
believed was everything about him, didn't want to ravage her.
That realization cooled her blood by a degree. Caleb would
never forgive himself if he allowed the symbion to rule him. If
he lost this battle of wills, he'd never win another.
Summoning what little strength she had left, Zara
wrenched her body away from the wall. She threw all her
anger and frustration into the move, which knocked Caleb off
balance and sent him backpedaling. He relinquished his grasp
on her wrists and stumbled away from her.
Bereft and mortified by her body's reaction to him, Zara
flung herself toward the exit on wobbling legs but stopped
halfway, remembering how frightened she'd been on the
exposed shelf of rock.
Panting from her unexpected orgasm and shivering from
the loss of his warmth, she crossed her arms over her chest
and turned to confront him. "No." There. She'd said it. It
seemed ridiculous to finally protest now after she'd not only
allowed him to fuck her but enjoyed it. Whether her lack of
conviction showed in her voice, she couldn't tell, but Caleb
seemed to believe it.
She held up her hand before he could speak. "Don't
apologize. Just forget it. I know that wasn't you, just now."
74
Icarus Rising
by Bernadette Gardner
God, her face was on fire. He'd been in her. She'd come in his
hand and dismissing it now as though it were nothing more
than a naughty suggestion seemed childish, but they could
never progress with this mortifying incident between them. "I
know that wasn't you in control, and I know you'd hate
yourself if things went any further."
She should have let him. A rebellious voice in the back of
her head argued the point. She should have surrendered
completely and let him have her all the way. What did it
matter if an oversexed alien bird was controlling his actions?
For a moment, she could have had Caleb in her arms, in her
body, giving her everything she'd dreamed of since the day
they'd met. Seeing him regret it would have killed her, but
losing him again would do that anyway, and at least she'd
have the memory of being with him one glorious, forbidden
time.
"Zara ... the last thing I could ever stand to do is hurt you.
&nb
sp; I'm so—"
"I know. And that's why I'm going to tell you this." She
allowed herself to step toward him, but stopped short of
putting her hands on his naked chest like she wanted to. "I
will stay here with you and help you and your symbion deal
with this in any way I can, but you have to promise me two
things."
"Anything." His response came out as a breathless,
relieved whisper, but she noticed he would not meet her
gaze.
75
Icarus Rising
by Bernadette Gardner
"First you have to agree that the goal we're working
toward is getting your symbion to agree to go back to the
station."
Caleb nodded.
"And second..." She finally captured his gaze and held it
for a long, raw moment. "You have to understand that if you
put me in that situation again ... I won't stop you."
[Back to Table of Contents]
76
Icarus Rising
by Bernadette Gardner
Chapter Nine
Still the aerial searches turned up nothing. Arilani
reluctantly returned to the research station at dusk after
pushing herself to near exhaustion searching for Caleb and
Zara. With the soft beach sand shifting beneath her feet,
Arilani folded her wings and wiped a crust of sea salt from her
eyelashes.
With thousands of islands stretching in all directions away
from the station, it could take weeks to canvas only a fraction
of the hidden caves and camouflaged aeries. That assumed of
course that Caleb hadn't fallen into the water and drowned
both himself and his hostage.
Namara and Jidar joined her on the beach a moment later,
their defeated expressions telling her more than words.
"No one has found him." Her blunt statement seemed to
taint the air between them.
"I'm sorry." Namara, always a nurturer at heart, offered
her hand to Arilani in a gesture of comfort. "You must be
spent."
"I am, but I'm willing to keep searching. We must find
Caleb and help him bond properly with his symbion or he
might never learn to control it."
Jidar shook his head. "That's not the main concern right
now. Dr. Danson believes Dr. Faulkner may never be able to
regulate his biochemistry because both of them were adults
at the joining. He fears the symbion hormones will eventually
Icarus Rising Page 7
